I am so happy with the amount of feedback I've been getting for this story! I really love this one, so I've been spending a lot of time on it. I'm so glad you all are enjoying it, and I will continue to update it as much as I can! Although since getting out of the hospital, I've been back at work and been getting a lot of hours because they love me at my job, and this coming up week we have inventory so I'll be working midnight to 8 a shifts. Hang on with me if the updates are few and far between. Thanks!
Also…for this chapter, we've gone forward, a week. Everything I want to happen, like HEAVY DRAMA, is gonna start to come from this chapter. Enjoy!
I couldn't remember the last time I had been this excited. It's been quite a while that I've been at someone's house, someone that I'm falling for, and been able to just be myself. Carlos knew how to make me feel comfortable. Like a champ. 10, almost 11 hours at the bakery, tearing all the walls down, basically, and pulling up all the carpet…my body was sore, and I was tired. But when Carlos asked me to hang out with him tonight, all my pains, and aches went away. Just like that. All he had to do was look me in the eyes, bite at that sexy lip ring, which drove me nuts, and stutter over his words. And I was his. I was dropping everything else, just to be with him. Not like it was a bad thing. Consider my past "relationship" I felt like I deserved to be treated nice. And boy…when he led me into his apartment it was like he was preparing for a date with the Queen.
His house smelt like apples and cinnamon, which is not a norm for a guy. Gay or not, most of us don't like to have smelly stuff in the house. And not only that, but quests or no, we don't usually clean up. Carlos was the complete opposite. His house was spotless, from head to toe, with the cutest fall and Thanksgiving decorations placed here and there. While I took in his house, he took my coat for me and my bag and told em to make myself at home. I walked to a bookshelf in the back corner of his living room and looked at pictures, and all the different books he had. He told me dinner was on the way, pizza, and was going to set a fire. I turned fast seeing him kneeling in front of his wood burning fire place setting logs inside it. I put my hands in my pockets of my jeans and looked down my body, becoming mortified. I was covered in dust and pain chippings form the walls…I probably looked like a mess. I sighed quietly as I wiped at my shirt and pants and blushed. Here I was, in his beautiful home, looking like a guy who dug through the dumpster for the past four days. I probably smelt like it too. "Logan…what are you doing?" I raised my head and blushed even harder seeing I was being watched. Carlos was standing in front of the lit fireplace, but chuckled, walking over to me.
"I didn't know I was so dirty." I looked back down at my clothes and shrugged feeling uncomfortable.
"Well…I have some sweats, and another shirt if you want. I can also wash your clothes for you if you want." I looked up again and smiled big . He was right in front of me and casually, he put his fingers into the waist band of my jeans and tugged me towards him. We kissed momentarily before he chuckled and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the hallway in the back. "You're a little bit smaller than me, but I think it will be okay." I nodded, walking right behind him and set my chin on his shoulder as he led me into his bedroom. I stopped in the middle as he walked to a big Oak Cherry dresser, that matched the bed frame and the two nightstands on either sides of his bed. "I actually think it will be really cute to see you in clothes two sizes too big for you." I gave him a dirty look as he turned back to me, sweats and t-shirt in hand.
"You're a bully." He stuck his tongue out at me as he handed me his clothes. "Where's your bathroom?" He pointed behind me and gently turned me and swatted at my butt as I walked towards a small, but inviting bathroom. I walked in, shutting the door softly behind me and leaned against it. I flipped on the light and looked at myself in the mirror. I pushed off the door and set the clothes on the counter by the sink and quickly tore off my shirt. I folded it up and grabbed the black shirt, unfolding it. Before I put it on, I stopped and looked at the scars on my shoulder and chest, and hoped, and prayed Carlos would never see the disgusting things. I quickly pulled on the shirt and went to undo the belt around my waist. I felt a vibration from my phone in my jeans and pulled it out smiling at a new text from James. I opened it quick and chuckled to myself reading. "So Kendall is driving himself nuts. He gets mad at me, for everything that's happened, and then feels bad for yelling or whatnot. He's the one who asked me to live with him still, even though I know he hates me…you should have seen his face when he came home and his house was clean. I think he almost took me back. ." I quickly typed in my response, telling James to not push Kendall. Give him time and let him come to James. I set my phone on the counter and took off my pants, and slid out of my black and white Converse. I pulled on Carlos's sweats and laughed as I had to tie them tight around my waist. "Well you were right…there too big!" I picked up my shoes and pants and heard him laugh from a distance. I grabbed all of my stuff, sticking my phone in the pocket of my sweats and walked out of the bathroom, flicking off the light as I went.
I gently set my pants and shirt on my bag on the coffee table and set my shoes by the front door. I walked slowly into his kitchen and smiled big seeing him pour two glasses of blood red wine. He glanced up at me, before looking back down at the glasses and closing the bottle back up. "I was right on two things…you look really cute in those." I blushed but walked to him leaning against the counter. He raised both glasses and handed me on, moving in close, setting a hand by my hip on his counter. "I'm really happy you came over." I clinked his glass with mine and raised it.
"Salute." He nodded back to me, clinking his glass with mine and we drank. I closed my eyes letting the sweet wine run down my throat and let a realization hit me. I was drinking; obviously I wasn't going to be driving tonight. So was he. That was okay with me. "I'm really happy you asked me to come over." I set my now half empty glass down next to his, which was almost gone and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me. He put a hand on my rib and smiled, moving into kiss me. I turned quick and let him kiss my cheek, and sigh. I chuckled looking at his stove and wrapped both arms around him, hugging him from the front.
"I really like you Logan." I closed my eyes, and shivered as he kissed down to my neck and even turned my head to kiss over my Adam's apple. When he gently pushed em back, I opened my eyes and we stared at each other. "I really, really, really like you." I smiled raising my hands and set them on his shoulders. One hand moved up to his face and my thumb traced over his bottom lip. His hands moved down my sides, and to the back of my legs, where he grabbed and lifted. I grabbed ahold of his shoulders and let him set me on the counter, right by our wine glasses.
"I really like you too Carlos. But with 4 really's instead of 3." He laughed, closing his eyes and I move din fast, attaching my lips to his. His hands rested on my thighs and I softly wrapped my legs around the back of his lower back, and ran my hands up to the back of his head, and tugged on his hair. I opened my mouth to let him take control of the kiss just as my phone vibrate din my pocket. It made me pull away from him knowing James was texting me. He frowned and licked his lips, driving me nuts, but I felt pained. I kept my hands on the back of his head as we looked at each other and I frowned back at him.
"What's wrong?"
"I need to tell you something." He nodded slowly pushing his hands up to the hem of the shirt too big for me, and put a few fingers under the shirt. "Before I met you…I was in a relationship with a man who had…" I paused and swallowed hard. This wasn't easy, and I didn't know why I chose now to tell him. I did know however, I couldn't tell him the whole truth. "I was with a man who is married." He pulled his head back a little and I felt my heart snap. We didn't lose all contact, but him pulling away told me he was disgusted with me.
"You were with a guy having an affair?" I nodded slowly and dropped my hands from his head. I folded my hands in my lap and looked down at them, feeling useless. "Are you with him still?" I shook my head scratching my left palm, and closed my eyes feeling him put his hands on my face. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" His voice was soft, almost nurturing. I opened my eyes and looked at him as he rubbed my jaw line.
"I was going to. The day after we went out to the bar. But…you came over…and said Kendall's boyfriend tried to kill himself because he was having an affair and…" I shrugged and he nodded moving one hand back down to my side where he held me gently. "I know…it's really shitty, and if you want me to go, I understand." He laughed quietly looking down at my chest and shook his head.
"Why would I want you to leave?" I shrugged again and he laughed, a little louder this time. I pouted and he moved his hand to the small of my back rubbing it soothingly. "I don't need to know why. And I will never judge you for something I have no idea about. I will say…I appreciate you telling me. You were honest. That's what counts, especially because I could see how hard it was for you." I nodded again, but I felt horrible. I wasn't honest with him. Not completely. And if he ever found out, I'm afraid I would lose the first real, healthy relationship I've ever been in. "I guess…because you told em something that was hard for you…I can do the same. Uhm my last relationship, if I could even call it that…" he stopped and nervously looked between my face and my body. He opened his mouth to speak again, but stopped hearing a knock at the door. "Hold on…if you want, you can grab two plates form that cupboard, and we'll go eat out in the living room by the fire." He pushed away from me fast and I looked to the cupboard he pointed to. I slid off the counter while opening the cupboard and grabbed two plain white plates. I carefully held them, and both of our wine glasses, and walked out to the living room.
I shivered as I walked behind Carlos who was standing in front of the open door taking a large pizza from the guy. I set down the glasses, and the plates, and quickly moved my bag and clothes off of the table, and put them on the floor. I swallowed hard watching Carlos thank the guy quietly before shutting the door and turning to me. He smiled small and set the pizza box on the coffee table, grabbed my hand and walked me around it, to his brown couch. We sat down and before we touched the pizza or our wine glasses, eh took both my hands and sighed out. "My last boyfriend was an MMA fighter, so it wasn't really a relationship, because no one knew he was gay. We lived together, but he played it off that I was his trainer. Which was true. It's how we met, but it turned into something so much more." He stopped and looked down at our connected hands rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand. "After three years of hiding, and being ashamed of loving this guy, I had enough. I told him we either tell the world were in love, or I was gone. Of course for him, there was a third option." He looked back up and smiled small, but he looked pained. "He beat me until I could barely walk. I had to call James and Kendall once he left the house. That was the last time I ever saw him. Well…" He chuckled turning to the table. "We did see him in court. James beat the living shit out of this guy when he tried to come beg for my forgiveness. I couldn't stop James and neither could Kendall. I'm kind of glad I didn't. Although he tried to get James arrested for assault, but when we got in court, I threatened to tell everyone he was gay, and that was it." I swallowed hard scooting closer to him and put a hand on his leg making him look at me. "It takes a lot for me to trust people, especially guys. But you…you make me feel like…like I'm needed. You make me feel like I can be…happy with a man again. This is all new for me but…but I love it." I move din fast and kissed him hard, making him fall back on the couch. I climbed on top of him quick and kissed him with everything I have. He put one hand on my side, and another on the side of my face, to hold me in lace. I put one leg outside his body, while the other laid between his spread legs. I put my hands outside his head on the back of the couch and let him push his hand up my shirt. It didn't hit me until his fingers traced over a specific scar, that still hurt sometimes. I gasped out, pushing off him and covered my mouth sitting next to him again. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" I laughed quietly and shook my head putting a hand on his knee.
"No I'm fine." I looked back to him and moved in to kiss him again, but he stopped me and backed away again. I frowned and he raised his eyebrows. I sighed and stood up. "Fine…because you were really honest and brave with me, I guess I can be too."
"Looks like how the night is gonna go." I chuckled and he stood up, but I tore off the shirt he lent me, tossing it gently behind me on the couch. His eyes quickly fell down to my naked torso an di tensed up, blushing.
"Do you remember when you dug yourself that hole the first time we met? And you said something about how I was attacked?" He swallowed hard, and went to touch me, but stopped. "My house was broken into. These three guys went right to my bedroom, one tied me up, while the other two broke a lot of stuff in my house and put the majority of it into bags. The one who tied me up and stayed in my room saw a picture of me with my last boyfriend on my dresser. He told the other two they had a fag on their hands." He looked up at my face quick and I reached out grabbing his hand. "The gagged and blind folded me and then beat me. When they wore themselves out, one of them said, well he's gay so he must like getting fucked. They took turns forcing themselves on me for almost two hours." He closed his eyes and lowered his head. I looked down at my scared chest and felt the usual anger coarse through my body, just thinking about it. "When they got finished, one of them took a switch blade and craved into my chest and shoulders. He wrote fag and queer. And then with my blood from my open cuts, they wrote on the walls, queer and of course fag. What made the whole thing even worse, is when I called 911, because they were decent enough to untie me, the two paramedics who responded, saw my bloody and broken body as a sign to also take advantage of me, and took turns on me. I tried to yell for help, but was only saved by the grace of God when a cop car pulled up. The two responding officers came in, arrested the paramedics, and took care of me. A year later, here I am, scared and disgusting. They still hurt sometimes, to get touched anyway." He looked up at me fast and put a hand on my face.
"You're not disgusting Logan. You're beautiful." I swallowed hard looking into his beautiful chocolate eyes and move din close to him. "I'm so sorry…so sorry it happened to you." I closed my eyes gently resting my head on his shoulder and let him hug around me, softly and carefully. "You will never get hurt like that again. Not while I'm around." I wrapped my arms around his back tight and shoved my face into his neck squeezing my eyes shut. One of his hands ran through my hair while the other traced up and down my spine.
No one, besides the cops obviously, and James, knew the gory details of my attack. It must be a big step, for me at least, to be able to confide to someone about what happened to me. Especially after knowing him for a week and a half. You would think, cause I told him all that, I would be able to be honest to him about James but I couldn't. And I hated myself for it, as he soothed away my fears, and doubts, and worries.