New Perspective Evangelion
I don't own NGE, someone else does,
Some stuff might be mentioned that's copyright,
Don't bug me about it.
It's just in the name of fun anyway.
Kudos to JCM and Himonky for their help with this.
I…I
Morning came, and the first thing I was aware of was a painful kick to the hip.
"Mmmm, Misato, do that again." I mumbled dreamily into my pillow.
When the Captain had discovered the truth of my origins, she'd gone out of her way to ensure that I was given a personal and thorough tour of the intricacies of my new anatomy. Perhaps there was something to this female form after all?
"Wha….? Ak. It's your activation test Fourth Child."
The high pitched voice of my new roommate kicked me back into reality. It was like a screaming power saw cutting hard steel, slowing ripping it's way into my dreams and shredding them to pieces.
"Yeah, yeah."
I buried my face in my pillow, and willed her to go away and leave me sleep, trying to block her out. Nuts to her, she should let me enjoy my few moments wrapped in the soothing warmth of my own blankets, the softness of my own skin, and the nimble fingers of the future Major.
"Get up!" she ripped my blankets off.
Suddenly colder, I rolled over and looked up at the redhead through sleep heavy eyes. She was standing proudly over me, wearing the uniform of Tokyo-3 junior high.
"Alright," I groaned, batting uselessly at the space where her foot had been.
Did she say something about an activation test? How come she was told, and I wasn't? Ah, right, it had been in the manual. I'd read that last night.
It was to be at 2:00pm.
What time was it?
A bleary eyed look at the digital clock above me told me it was only seven in the morning. Seven hours, or something like that, to go. At least let me get some sleep before I get infected by Bardiel.
Nope, it was too late for that now. My bedclothes were currently in the hands of an annoyed German who's sole objective was to remove me from my comfortable place of rest.
Grumbling to myself, I pushed myself upright, my breasts shifting irritatingly again. My fifth day as Noriko had begun.
Joining my three flatmates for breakfast, still wearing my nightshirt while the others were already dressed, I found my empty chair at the table.
"Good morning Noriko," Misato greeted me cheerfully, and slowly so I could understand her.
"Good Morning…em…" The correct choice of honorific and level of politeness?
Katsuragi-san," I ventured.
I'd always told it pays to be as polite and respectful as possible in Japan, and besides that was the way they did it on TV.
"Misato," she waved it off.
Minor formality glitches not withstanding the Captains language lessons from the previous night were already showing some minor effects. But still, the topic of the morning's conversation remained a mystery to me as I concentrated on the slightly soggy cereal in the bowl in front of me, and how best to keep it from a persistent penguin begging for a share.
Eight O'clock saw a ring at the door, which was answered by Shinji, the boy sighing as he realised nobody else would do it.
Asuka and Misato couldn't have been bothered, and I was too concerned myself with trying to copy what everyone was doing. Okay so it may have seemed stupid and petty but, the way I figured it, with my two female flatmates as role models, if I just did what they did and kept my mouth shut, I'd pick up this Japanese girl thing in a few weeks and nobody would be any the wiser as to my true origins. As it was, I was having trouble just matching the way Misato sat, that strange way she crossed her legs on her chair, pressing the soles of her feet together.
The purpled haired beauty grinned at me as I fidgeted on that seat, trying not to tip forward.
I was glad to see she was getting some entertainment out of it at least. How she could do it I didn't know.
Asuka swore as a dawn chorus of voices answered the door. I could see the chill visibly run down her spine as the source of the morning song appeared through the door. Two smiling faces accompanied by the flash of video camera lens.
"San Baka" Asuka huffed, or something to that effect
"What?"
"The three stooges."
Misato smiled a good morning, hugging herself in such a way as to make her breasts rise proudly. Asuka snorted her distaste for our guardian, while I wondered if I had to do that too. I sure as hell didn't want to, the mere thought of one of them getting interested in me, kissing me, doing….'things' to me, had my stomach wrapping itself in sickening knots.
"Ahoy O'Gozzoymuss" I offered meekly in my own incongruous North Dublin drawl.
Silence, and instantly, I knew I'd made a terrible mistake.
Both stared at me, trying to figure out who I was. I recognised that look on their faces immediately and it terrified me. It was one I'd worn many times myself the first time I'd met a nice girl and wondered just what lay waiting beneath her clothes.
Another barked demand from the pair sent Shinji reeling against wall. The grey eyed youth struggled to regain his footing, as I struggled to figure out what happened.
"Gomen." he stuttered, before launching into a rapid fire explanation
The fair haired boy, Kensuke Aida obviously, adjusted his glasses, his gaze shifting between me and Shinji. Touji doing similar, glancing between the Pilot of Unit 01 and myself.
'Please no, not that,' I thought, cringing noticeably
I knew what they wanted, simply because in their position, I would've been looking for the exact same thing. Of course, I was that shy, pale skinned quiet type so beloved of dating-sim fanboys, in their eyes at least. They looked to me to be veritable experts in the genre.
I could just imagine what Shinji was saying to them.
"There's something about Noriko that worries me. She's interesting and all that, but I can't help but get the feeling that there's more to her quietness than a simple lack of language skills. Maybe you might know what I should do."
Whatever he'd said, he finished with one phrase I could pick out.
"Pilot Sangouki"
Aida's eyes lit up with those words
"Aida Kensuke," he offered smartly, with a respectful bow
Should I even answer?
If I said something, and he got the wrong idea, well….it just wasn't going to be fun for either of us. My own fanboy battalion was something I could quite happily do without.
"Suzahara Touji," the tracksuited teenager bowed in turn.
Did I have to do something now?
Just be polite and courteous, it was the Japanese thing to do.
"I am Nagato Noriko," I said meekly, lowering my head.
Asuka winced.
It was a welcome relief for them both to answer with what sounded like a courteous "Nice to meet you." At least, I hoped that's what it was. There was something about their leering eyes that, somehow, made me think there was much more to it than that.
Thankfully, I wouldn't find out.
"Sayonara Misato," they waved as they left.
"Sayonara," she answered through her second golden beer can.
"Sayonara Noriko," the two chimed in.
"Oh God no," I mumbled, burying my face in my hands.
Looking at the pale orange sludge of dissolving cornflakes in front of me, I suddenly decided that I wasn't feeling too hungry after all.
It was best just to get dressed and hide until everyone left, and save myself from making a fool of myself again. My shared room would be my sanctuary from social slip ups and new psychological scars.
Unfortunately, Asuka had other ideas.
A few seconds after I closed the door, I heard it rattle open again. I could've cursed her for following me.
"You do know what you've just done Fourth Child?" she said.
I wanted her to leave me alone. I wanted to go back to bed. I wanted to curl up beneath my warm blankets and return to that blissful state between waking up and becoming fully aware of the world where I wouldn't have to worry about any of these small social niceties.
But still, I knew what she meant, and I still felt I would be a traitor to my gender if I didn't take the side of the stooges.
"They were just being polite." I answered, trying not to shrink back before the Second Child. "So was I."
"Polite?" Asuka snorted. "There was only one thing they were doing and it wasn't being polite."
"Not all guys are like that," I said. "It's possible for a man to be polite to a woman without being….interested….y'know."
It still sent cold shivers up my back just thinking about it.
"Ack…" The Bavarian twitched, "How hopelessly romantic. Look, listen here…." she grabbed me roughly by the shoulder, dragging me close. "…Because this is a Euro's worth of free advice that could save your life someday."
I just nodded.
"Never ever give them an opening," she said. "They will always exploit it. They are relentless. They will follow you to the ends of the Earth. When you have nowhere further to run they will wear down your defences, and when they do, you will be theirs for the taking, understand?"
There was something about the way she explained it that sent a chill down my spine, the way it made men sound almost like the Borg
"Sort of." I mumbled, thinking it was best not to argue the point, "But then, what am I supposed to do?"
"What are you, stupid?" Asuka huffed, "Ignore them of course. If you absolutely have to talk to them, make sure they know you are the one in control."
All I could do was groan slightly and stare at my bare feet. This was so much more complicated than I thought it would be. Who could've thought an attractive girl could have such problems?.
What was going to happen when they decided it was time to send me to school as well?
Urgh….
It would probably be best for my sanity not to dwell on that too much.
"Thanks." I said eventually, still nowhere near being sure of myself.
"Well, that's just one of the benefits of an Asuka Langly Soryhu friendship Fourth Child. You should count yourself lucky you have this opportunity."
She made it sound almost like a sales pitch. But still, she'd actually offered friendship. Whether I was some means towards supporting her own ego, or she'd just taken pity on me I didn't know, but still, it came as an electric excitement that Asuka would actually consider me a friend. Regardless as to whether it was some dumb fanboy thing on my part, or gratefulness that I could actually consider myself as having a friend, I still smiled widely.
"Thank you," I said again
"Just don't let it go to your head."
Too late.
"And learn Japanese quickly, okay? I don't want to have to be your interpreter."
"I will!" I chirruped gleefully.
"Asuka!" Misato called from outside, tapping on the door.
"Gah!" she spat, before answering back, not sounding too pleased about whatever our guardian had said.
"School," the redhead explained simply, "Not that I need to go of course, but the law is the law."
"I don't have to go," I grinned.
It had been decided that, for the time being, I could give Japanese schooling a miss, something for which I was most grateful. I definitely didn't look forward to a return to the industrial meat grinder that was institutionalised secondary education.
"Well it's good for some," she remarked with a toss of her hair. "Good luck with your test, I could do with some competent backup for once."
And then she left.
I was buzzing almost. While I still couldn't figure out just why she was doing it, Asuka had decided to consider me a friend. Whatever the reason, she was someone who had decided they wanted to be with me. I just had to hope I didn't screw it up again and end up annoying her. Asuka as an enemy I didn't want.
I washed myself and got dressed, which, with only Misato in the apartment, was quite pleasant. I didn't have much to wear, just some essentials that had been provided, but I didn't mind. I think I might've felt good about myself, a little more comfortable with my situation now that I was beginning to get used to it.
"Noriko" Misato called for me. "It is time."
As we both left the apartment, I was actually in a good mood.
I was guided back to the 'blue bucket', as I privately called Misato's Alpine, for the short journey down to the Geofront. Sitting in the speeding death trap, I tried to bury my face in the little phrasebook I'd been given and ignore the death rattle of the door on it's hinges.
"How do you feel?" Misato asked.
I couldn't answer, at least, I didn't have anywhere near the vocabulary to fully articulate myself.
Sickeningly apprehensive, that I might soon be running through the fingers of Unit 01. Confused, as to why Asuka would want me for a friend. Excited anticipation, that I'd be sitting at the controls of a giant robot, and more than a little curious at the same time. All whirled and spun like a washing machine in the back of my mind. Would breathing LCL really be as easy as it was in the series, or would it be more like The Abyss with me coughing and hacking the blood of Lilith onto the walkways Would Bardiel attack early, or the EVA run amok in headquarters?
Though, in the end, I really only had one word to choose from.
"I am…em…excited."
I was facing my possible death, and to tell the truth I was more concerned with whether the plugsuit would be comfortable or not.
Maybe it was a sign, that perhaps any fears I had were unfounded. Of course, maybe it was just my subconscious being kind for once and searching for some way for me not to think about becoming pilot pâté.
Either way, the 'Emergency Procedures' section of the manual was proving a gripping read.
I was jostled from my studies by a sudden jerked change of direction of the car. The vehicle was locked to some carriage, travelling downwards through some darkened tunnel, descending deeper with every second.
There is no Bardiel, my mind repeated. It's too early for Bardiel.
"Noriko."
"Huh?"
"It will be okay," Misato smiled at me. "You will enjoy this."
'Enjoy what?', I wondered.
Instantly, the car was flooded with brilliant morning sunlight once more. I blinked at the sight of inverted steel towers, hanging from the ceiling like great shining steel stalactites. Awestruck, I wondered at the mechanisms necessary to build and maintain the Ceiling City, that could raise and lower thousands of tonnes of tower in minutes. A spider's web of tunnels and catwalks weaved between the hanging towers, linking great grey sleeping pig-like structures that must've housed the mega-scale machinery needed.
Below, verdant green fields and rolling hills, a lake glistening in the morning sun almost as if a million miniature stars were blinking on its surface. The military grey form of a single battlecruiser slept peacefully on the water. Far in the corner, the pyramid structure of NERV headquarters sat dominantly, a building that would probably rival any building on the surface for height. It was definitely the largest I'd seen anyway.
The car appeared to be almost suspended in midair, floating slowly towards the ground far below. In the distance, a few grey towers poked up from the summer meadows, lop sided and leaning strangely.
Damage, from the Angel attacks.
All of this churned around in my mind, my lips struggling to articulate everything I wanted to say. It all boiled and distilled down into one single anti-climatic statement.
"Wow."
The headquarters building was more of the same, it was huge inside, great glass atriums and ten story escalators led to a warren of corridors and side passages, the type someone could disappear into one day and never find their way out. Hundreds of people milled about doing jobs I couldn't fathom, orange boiler suited technicians and tan uniformed bureaucrats. I flashed through pages in the dossier I'd been given, searching for a map, anything that could possibly be our destination, or just where in the hell I was.
All the corridors, storerooms and offices just looked the same. A flat, sterile white, with a red bar running along the wall. The occasional brass panel told me where I was, at least, it told me the name of where I was.
We passed the NERV psychological wards, dark and cordoned off with yellow tape, some rubble blocking the way some distance down. I just kept close to Misato being damned careful not to get lost. Chances are they'd never find me if I did.
Another sign.
MEDULA 247-A:: CENTRAL DOGMA
Didn't we already pass that?
I swear, sometimes it felt like we were just walking in circles.
In the end, I wasn't sure if it was by design, or just sheer luck on Misato's part, but somehow, we found our way to what seemed to be just any other motorised door on some unassuming hallway, unremarkable among the thousands of others that made up the labyrinth of NERV headquarters.
Inside though, was a familiar looking blonde woman wearing a white labcoat.
A quick exchange between the doctor and my guardian, and Misato left.
"Good luck" she said in accented English before the door closed behind me. It sounded like a set of prison bars slamming home for the final time, consigning me to my fate.
"Good morning Noriko," the doctor said. "Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, it's a pleasure to meet you."
I knew it.
And she was speaking clear English.
Thank God for that.
I could have almost run over and hugged her for it.
"Hi," I said quietly, taking in her office.
It was definitely smaller than I expected, being about the size of a cubicle. That's the way it seemed to me anyway, with the walls lined with shelves, file folders stacked haphazardly, mixed with more than a few chibi ceramic cats, old Hello Kitty's and a few cold cups of a mysterious yellowy brown liquid that might once have been coffee. Through another door was a white dividing screen, and not much else that I could see.
"I assume you know what the Evangelion is already?"
"I do," I nodded, showing my grey dossier. "I read about Unit 03."
And watched director's cut of all twenty six episodes including EoE and Episode twenty-one.
"Good," she gave me a slight smile. "That will save us some time."
I was almost quaking, and trying to hide it, the butterflies in my stomach slowly working their way up my throat.
"If you'll just step next door and undress, I'll be with you as soon as I can."
'Well' I thought ruefully as I pulled my shirt over my head, 'At least I'm getting plenty of practice.'
Although at the same time, I couldn't help but question why it was necessary for me to be poked and prodded by the doctor as if I was just another interesting specimen under her microscope.
"We need to make certain your body can withstand the stresses induced by the Evangelion." the doctor told me as she disappeared to prepare an injection, tapping the shining needle menacingly. "It's not like flying a plane you know."
I grimaced on the table as Ritsuko deftly reminded me of the one memory of Noriko's I didn't want. Well it was either that or the tunnel boring machine grinding it's way slowly through my shoulder.
"Normally, we'd just give you an MRI scan, but because of how some of your injuries were treated, the old fashioned way will have to do."
Another stab to the shoulder meant another injection.
"Don't you have any records, from the hospital like?"
I was a desperate for some way to end this, for some escape from my torture at the cold damp hands of the 'good' Doctor. I thought about running for it, but the grey painted portal to safety seemed impossibly far away, the industrial ventilation seeming impossibly cold against my soft bare skin.
"They don't tell us everything we need to know," she answered, in a matter of fact tone that to my ears seemed almost sadistic.
Everyone just loved torturing the new guy…err girl, didn't they?
It took an hour of examinations, questions, probings and God knows what else before my tormentor finally finished her work, disappearing back to her office to collate the data, leaving me still nude and sitting on the vinyl table. A quick visual search for my clothes, or anything to wear turned up nothing.
"This would've been so much better if I'd just been a guy." I sighed, flopping back onto the table with a dry slap of skin on plastic. I could've enjoyed myself, I could've been more relaxed and at ease instead of making an idiot of myself constantly. I could've have had a chance with Misato for Christ's sake, instead of having to deal with the unwanted interests of two stooges.
"What was that?" The doctor returned, carrying a plastic package under her arm
"Um…nothing." I swallowed my words. "Just thinking out loud."
That was one secret I wouldn't let out for love nor money.
"You do know that's the first sign of madness," she remarked offhand, "Perhaps we may need to run a full neural scan, as well as a few more intensive tests."
I baulked at the mere thought of spending one extra second beneath her tender mercies.
The reward of a gently cultured chuckle told me that had been the exact response she'd been expecting
"This is your plugsuit," she dropped the package on the bed beside me, "You'll need to wear it, for hygiene reasons. I'll leave you in privacy to change."
As she left me again I couldn't help but wonder if she meant it as a joke or not. Privacy? She already knew me better than I knew myself, inside and out.
It was with a childlike glee that I unwrapped the plugsuit from it's package, plastic neural clips clattering onto the floor. It was a Jordan yellow mostly, with black trim, almost like some form fitting hornet suit. Surprisingly, once I'd figured out how to seal it properly, it was perfectly comfortable. It may have been skintight moulded plastic, but whatever it was lined with was soft and well padded. That, and I couldn't help but stare at myself in the mirror.
I was, strangely, more comfortable with myself wearing a body hugging thermoplastic suit than a bra and panties.
Right until the Doctor lead me out of her office.
The suit squeaked and creaked like new leather with every step I took, following the white coated woman to the cages and my EVA. As much as I was finding the plugsuit physically comfortable, it left me with a strange, almost paranoid feeling that I was being watched. I could feel every set of eyes I passed directed down at me, at my body. It didn't help that most of those leering eyes were at least twice my age, glistening orbs of perversion studying every inch of my figure.
At least it was a short journey.
Doctor Akagi slid her I.D. card through a door ominously marked
AUTHOURISED PERSONNEL ONLY. VIOLATORS SUBJECT TO Y20,000,000 FINE OR INDEFINITE IMPRISONMENT OR BOTH.
Something about that sent a chill down my spine. I was stepping on forbidden ground.
But, at least it was just back to Ritsuko and me, and a short empty passage to what looked like a lift, the designation R-20 emblazoned on it in red paint. A sterile white inside, like so many others, a small mechanical counter ticking through the floors. I never knew how long some of the lift rides in NERV actually could be.
Doctor Akagi was more interested with her notes on her clipboard then me.
I idly poked at what looked like a USB connector moulded into my shoulder, wondering perhaps what it could be for. It was marked with a white printed 'MED'. 'Medical' perhaps? Could it be some way of downloading my vital signs. Pinching it, I could feel some thin strands of wiring running from it, towards the small pack on my back, studded with sockets of different sorts.
On my waist, a pair of what looked like stainless steel plumbing fixtures jutted forward. I could see my reflection distorted on the machined metal, tinted gold somewhat. Prodding the shaped steel, I could feel it coldly pressing against my stomach. I wondered perhaps if I stuck my finger through one of them would I be able to feel my own skin, but that was interrupted by the hollow rumble of the doors splitting open.
A draught of industrial air washed over me, heavy with the smell of oil, ozone and something that, for the life of me, I couldn't place. I could taste it on my tongue, running down the back of my throat. It was a strong salty tingle, kind of like slightly unfresh fish.
"Follow me."
I stepped out into some great cavernous chamber that, for a moment could have been any other in the vast complex that was NERV HQ. Then, I noticed a black painted wall opposite me, seemingly out of place on the concrete floor.
Ritsuko merely directed my attention upwards.
"Sweet Jesus!"
My small voice seemed as if it was swallowed by the monster towering above me. A black armoured giant, polished armour plating shining beneath the harsh white light of gantry suspended spotlights, loomed over me. Sleek and clean, like some multi-story metal athlete it seemed almost to carry on forever, the distant ceiling lost in the haze of tungsten arc lights. I'd seen the Evangelion onscreen, and even a few pictures, but the difference between a photograph of an EVA and the actual EVA was like the difference between a Honda Cub and a Honda Fireblade.
And I was supposed to pilot that thing?
There was something so utterly terrifying about the size of the mech, and the sheer scale of the power it must hold, that I didn't even realise I'd been led to another lift until I felt it take off moving.
As meters of the mech flashed past the true reality of my situation was beginning to take hold, the King rat slowly crawling his way up my back to have his fill of my psyche as I neared the entry plug of the EVA. I fidget as I stood, the rodent digging his claws into my spine before resting his weight on my shoulder.
There were so many ways this could fail. Each one having terrible consequences for me.
I was shaking, struggling to force myself to walk as I was again led out onto the umbilical bridge to the white cylinder, mounted on a cradle before me.
"Just sit inside, and we'll do the rest for this test." Ritsuko said, trying to be reassuring.
"Okay." I squeaked, almost like a mouse.
"It will be alright." she said.
As the hatch of the entry plug finally slid home, I was left sitting in the cradle like cockpit, alone, my breath ringing off the steel walls of what could quickly become my coffin. I was connected to the machine, held fast in that seat by the plumbing on my stomach, and the electronics on my back.
In front of me, the Unit's dedication plaque read:
EVANGELION
UNIT 03
NERV MASSACHUSSETS
UNITED STATES
"And the lights all went out in Massachusetts…." I mumbled nervously, tunelessly, the walls of my claustrophobic cockpit closing in around me.
There were so many painful ways this could fail, and I was painfully aware of each one of them. EVA could just say 'no', and reject the connections, leaving me useless as a Pilot. Or, it could go berserker like Zero did on Rei and mangle my body, sending me straight back to the hospital. Add to that the fact it could just decide to fry my brain and leave me with my own toy doll to play with. Finally, there was Bardiel.
The Thirteenth Angel.
An insidious monster that, that very moment, could be slumbering below me ready to cripple me, or worse.
I could feel it move, each heart wrenching jerk, each long hollow creak a candidate for the angels attack. King's rat whispered soul crushing possibilities in my ear. Would it just be some sudden thunderclap that knocks me into blissful unconsciousness, before I wake up in a hospital bed, or at home, or not all? Or, terrifyingly, would I have to live through each excruciating moment of the attack, staring at the steel wall above me, just waiting for it to cave in and crush the life from my body?
Flying towards inevitability like a burning jet…
"Gah!"
I shook my head, stopping myself before I could get any further. If I kept chasing my own mental tail like that, chances are I'd fry my brain by myself, with no help from Bardiel and friends.
After what seemed like forever the plug rotated around me as it descended into Unit 03's spine, creaking loudly as it came to a halt.
No going back now,I thought.
"We're about to fill your plug with LCL." The digitised voice of Doctor Akagi blasted harshly from a speaker in the headrest beside my ear.
I could've jumped and hit the ceiling above me, if I hadn't been held down. Christ she'd nearly given me a heart attack.
"Don't worry, it's perfectly breathable. Once your lungs are filled with LCL your blood will be oxygenated directly."
I heard it begin to burble in far beneath me, the orange liquid, rising rapidly up, creeping around the cockpit assembly in front of me. Running up my legs, it was warm, quickly soaking through to my bones.
"It's breathable." I said. "Perfectly breathable."
That worked right up until the point where the foul smelling liquid crept inexorably past my neck.
Gasped, panicked breaths heaved great gulps of air into my lungs, my rapid respiration ringing in his helmet. Rapidly, I searched for some escape, scanning the plug for any form of escape hatch or dump valve.
One last breath, I was sure it would be the last, and the foul fluid closed in around me, covering my head. My lungs burned for just one more breath, a distant voice reassuring me that the liquid was breathable drowned by the hammering of my panicked heart against my chest.
I swallowed my breath, forcing it back down, desperate to hold on to it.
But I couldn't.
Instinct overrode my conscious mind, my body dumping the wasted breath, bubbling up in the fluid. I gasped for fresh air, my lungs flooding with the orange liquid instead. Instantly, my body rejected the liquid, coughing, retching, painfully trying to expel the fluid from my lungs.
Another desperate gasp for air, another cough, and the lizard brain finally resigned itself to death.
To my lasting surprise though, I felt myself breathing normally. Rapidly, still panicking and gasping, but not drowning. It was an odd, disconcerting feeling, the fluid flowing through my lungs, trickling up and down my throat with every breath, gurgling musically into my stomach.
It tasted of warm blood, like a raw steak that had been left in the sun for a bit too long.
"I feel sick," I groaned.
"Do not vomit," the doctor warned. "If you vomit it could kill you."
I wasn't going to argue.
I took another deep breath, and gripped the two control throttles tightly, gently fingering the two thumbpads built into them. I remember thinking that they felt very plasticky and loose, like the switches my mother's old Fiat Panda almost.
Lord how I'd hated that thing.
At that moment though, I'd have been lying if I said I didn't long for that wheezy old bucket again.
"Alright Noriko." Akagi interrupted my musings. "We're about to begin on this end. Remember, the EVA is highly sensitive to your emotional state. It is imperative that you remain as calm as possible."
Oh fine, that'll be easy for me now. I was about as calm and collected as Excel after a few too many cans of Red Bull.
"Roger." I answered, my hands quivering on the throttles.
"Good. Configure language logic interface for English."
Something inside the cockpit beeped, the five display panels coming to life, displaying only a sky blue.
"Charging LCL."
The liquid flashed crystal clear. It was the last thing I saw before I wedged my eyes shut, bracing myself, silently praying that Bardiel would stay away.
"First stage connection complete, one through twenty-seven. Opening Second stage circuits."
I began to feel a gentle pressure at the back of my skull, and electric tingle fingering its way into the back of my mind.
"Second stage connection complete and stable, twenty eight through sixty-nine. Pilot vitals within acceptable limits. Opening final third stage."
That tingle spread to my entire body, prickling like a static charge across my skin.
"Safety interlocks released, no anomalies detected, approaching Absolute Borderline in…
Point oh-three…."
My mind raced as the final countdown began. The borderline was where the Angel began its attack, I remembered that clearly. That and Unit 01's armoured hand clenching around the entry plug; Shinji's final scream. My death was seconds away now possibly.
"Point oh-two…."
There was an electric power flowing through my body now, a current of energy running in my veins. A pressure was building in the back of my head, not unlike the beginnings of a headache. The Angel? Could it be?
"Point oh-one…."
Oh Holy fuck here it comes. Just please be quick. Just please don't hurt me.
"Absolute borderline."
A surge of energy punched into the back of my skull, a torrent of sensation invading my consciousness. The rat finally bit and in an instant, I was sure that it was Bardiel, that he had come to attack me and that within a few heartbeats the life would be crushed from my body.
An instant of absolute terror and I lashed back, yelping in fear as a buried my head protectively in my hands. There was a sudden blare of an alarm. Momentarily, I was reminded of Red alert siren from Star Trek. It was that same repeating alarm, announcing the finality of my fate with its terrifyingly shrill tones.
I quivered in fear, shivering as I tried to brace myself.
A few distant metallic groans resonated through the metal plug, ringing in my ears. Each one was amplified by my mind to be Unit 03, liberating itself from its concrete cage in spectacular fashion, each rattle a wild thrash for freedom. Static hissed through the speakers beside my ear, dead air only, since most of those nearby were probably dead anyway.
Who's to say maybe the EVA's hadn't been destroyed as well?
That Bardiel wasn't just calmly making his way down to Terminal Dogma right now to start Third Impact and kill everyone in an ending to my life that would make Tomino proud.
"Noriko," A voice tried to break the wall of my terror. "Noriko, what happened?"
Blinking, I raised my head a looked around. Still terrified, still shaking like a leaf, I noticed something flashing on all five display panels around me. All five panels were a flat blue except for one message:
ERROR:: 634 SYSTEMFAILABORT(0x236567, 0x367EF5, 0xFBA290, 0xFF0000)PSYCHPULSEREVERSEFLOW
Okay, what did that mean?
"Error." I blurted out.
The Doctor didn't sound too concerned. There were no dying screams ringing out across the radio. I could hear nothing now except the distant murmur of an electric motor, humming away behind me. I could feel nothing except my own body, my light weight acting against the seat.
Finally, the pieces just fell into place.
Bardiel hadn't attacked.
"Oh thank you," I exhaled a long sigh, blowing bubbles in the LCL.
"Are you alright?" Akagi asked.
"Em… Yeah," I answered.
"How are you feeling?"
To me, it seemed the strangest question to ask.
"Fine," I responded weakly.
"Are you sure?" the digital voice pushed, "The EVA can be very sensitive to its pilot's emotional state. You must remain calm or the safety systems will trip and the EVA will shut down."
Safety systems?
And what about Bardiel? I'd felt something come at me, I didn't know what. How could I be sure that this little glitch hadn't just bought me a few moments time, that some higher power wasn't playing with me the same way some sadistic kid would with play a butterfly right before he ripped its wings off.
How could I be calm?
How could I venture the possibility of Bardiels existence and encourage them to maybe inspect the EVA? How could I say it, without drawing suspicion to myself? Instead of being crushed to death, I'd find myself locked in some dark oubliette, interrogated for every possible ounce of information about the Angels, Third Impact and Seele.
"We're about ready to try again," Akagi's voice interrupted, thankfully.
"Um…"
I had to say something.
"I felt something, in the EVA." I said, my voice still quivering.
"That is the Personality type O.S." the abrupt answer came back. "It is necessary for synchronisation."
No help there then.
"Just relax back. Focus you're mind only on my voice and your breathing, nothing else. Clear your mind of all extraneous thoughts."
Easier said than done. She wasn't the one sitting on top of a monster. But still, it was better than the alternative.
"Take a long, deep breath," Ritsuko instructed. "Hold it, one…two…three, then exhale slowly."
Well it's better than nothing I suppose,I thought, trying to follow her instructions. I didn't nod, or answer, or anything, I just closed my eyes again, and tried to focus on my breathing, anything other than the menace lurking beneath me.
"Opening first stage connections."
Okay, in through the nose, hold…two…three…, out through the mouth. Just hold it together.
"First stage connection complete, one through twenty-seven. Opening Second stage circuits."
I could feel that same tingle beneath the A10 clips, a distant energy insinuating itself into my awareness.
"Second stage connection complete and stable, twenty eight through sixty-nine. Pilot vitals within acceptable limits. Opening final third stage."
Again, in two…three…out. I could feel the LCL flowing trough my lungs, circulating gently against my skin. The tingle flooded my body, as my thoughts began to drift away back to Bardiel.
"Safety interlocks released, minor pulse fluctuations detected. Fluctuations within system tolerance. Approaching Absolute Borderline in…
Point oh-three…."
In through the mouth. Don't think of the Angel. Don't think of EVA. Don't think about anything but breathing. Easier said than done. Hold it…
"Point oh-two…"
…two…three. Still terrified, still shaking, my hands rattled the throttles. I could sense that same presence rising to meet me, slowly fingering it's way up into the belly of my conscious mind. It didn't feel malevolent.
"Point oh-one…"
Whatever it was, it was coming, pushing its way into my awareness, electric sensations racing through my body, a heavy weight bearing down on my shoulders. It was the borderline. It was the Angel. It was the EVA. For a brief instant in my mind, it was anything that could harm me. Fractions of a second dragged to an eternity as I waited for the borderline.
Any second now…
Brace…
Exhale.
"Borderline."
A rush of sheer power and my body spasmed. I gasped for another breath, a flood of sensation racking my body. My conscious mind reeled trying to make sense of it all. Again, for a terrifying moment, I was sure it was Bardiel
And then, a strange, soothing calm.
I couldn't explain it. I was sure I should have been terrified, but, somehow, all my fears had disappeared, washed away by the flood of synchronisation. Cautiously, I cracked open my eyes, to be met by a view of the cage wall.
"Unit 03 approaching full power. Pilot synchronisation stable."
Okay…
I blinked again.
Then allowed myself a relived chuckle, before resting back into my chair. Looking to my right, over the black armoured shoulder of the Evangelion, I could see the control room, and a few dark silhouettes within.
I could feel the weight of the Evangelion, at least, that's what I guessed it was, hanging from my body. I could sense the cage locks, pulling on my arms and legs, a distant ethereal sensation. Like smoke, the more I tried to grab at it with my mind, the faster it just slipped through the fingers of my awareness.
A torrent of information roared through my mind, a headache already building in the back of my skull beneath the overload.
Lurking beneath the flood, I could still sense that presence, curiously probing at myself.
A single, clear thought entered my mind.
'Who are you?'
"Noriko." Akagi's voice interrupted again.
On the display to my right, a new window was open, framing the face of the blonde doctor.
Control; "How are you feeling?" she asked again
"Fine," I responded. "I have a slight headache."
Control; "Good, we just need to adjust your operator interface. We're using a generic one right now, so it's not perfect. Once we adapt the EVA to your own psych patterns, it should get a lot easier."
"I understand."
I didn't really, but I wasn't to concerned.
I was doing it, I was actually synchronising with the Evangelion.
On the five display panels around me, I could see her adjustments being made. I didn't understand most of what she was doing, I just took the time to appreciate the view from thirty stories up, even if it was just of a concrete cage wall.
Control; "We've completed the test Noriko, prepare for shutdown."
Huh?
How long had it been?
According to a small digital watch built into the cuff of my suit, it had been over an hour since the test had begun.
Strange.
"Roger."
The interface went dark as the plug jerked backwards. I felt momentarily dizzy as the nerve connections were severed abruptly, the weight of the EVA falling away like tender meat from a bone.. The plug jerked to a sudden stop and the LCL began to drain out beneath me.
The fluid dropped past my head, and I gasped for fresh air.
Immediately I felt sick, the LCL rising from my stomach. I tried to swallow it, but couldn't hold the fluid down. I threw it up across the cockpit, the blood tasting fluid splashing across my lap. I tried for another breath, before coughing and retching painfully, my body rejecting the vile fluid.
As the plug hatch slid back, I was still hacking up the last dregs of LCL.
Terrified of slipping from the armour, I crawled across the shoulder of Unit 03, my wet body still sliding. The last thing I wanted was to fall to my death ignominiously after one of my greatest fears had been proven to be unfounded. A sudden rapid rush of cold air before a final bone cracking thud, it would've been the perfect Gainax ending.
I'd never been so glad to set foot on cold steel floors as I was when I stepped off that armour.
Shortly afterwards, I was met by the good doctor, carrying her clipboard. By then, I was buzzing almost, excited that I'd actually synchronised with an EVA, and that I hadn't died in the process.
"How'd I do Doctor?" I beamed.
It had felt good. I couldn't have failed, or gotten a low result, it just didn't feel possible for that to happen. They way I'd felt in that entry plug, the sheer power of the sensations I'd experienced, it didn't seem possible that I could get a low score.
She checked her notes, will I practically danced impatiently, waiting for her to confirm what I knew.
"You recorded a peak stable synchronisation ratio of fifteen percent. It's not high enough to Pilot in combat."
"Oh…"
The wind dropped from my sails. Naively, I'd been expecting something near thirty or forty, secretly hoping for a ninety. Did that mean they were just going to dump me then?
"It's not necessary to have a high ratio at this stage, it will rise with training," she continued "The purpose of the test was just to activate the Evangelion, and in that respect, it was a success. Congratulations."
I grinned.
"Thank You!" I announced, restraining myself from just glomping her. Somehow, I didn't think she'd appreciate it, since I was still dripping wet with orange LCL.
"Your training program, as well as your clothes and NERV issue equipment have been left for you in your locker in the changing rooms. Any questions?"
I fingered a few sticky strands of black hair, slowly sticking to my scalp as the LCL dried to a sticky mass of blood smelling glue.
"Can I shower this off please?"
It might sound stupid, but at that moment, it was just about the only thing I could think of
"Of course. Captain Katsuragi will be waiting for you when you're finished. I'll see you Noriko tomorrow morning for the start of your training."
"Thanks Doctor." I said as I left for the locker room.
It would've helped if I'd known where the locker room was. I couldn't ask for directions, since I didn't speak the language, and most of the bilingual signs were about as helpful as a raincoat against Noah's flood. All the while, I stumbled bewildered through corridors, looking and smelling like a rat that had drowned at a slaughterhouse.
Eventually, I found it, another door grey door, unremarkable except for a small brass plate marked
FEMALE PILOTS AND PERSONNEL WITH C-GRADE ACCESS CLEARENCE ONLY.
Another white painted room, the smell of disinfectant inside so strong it made my eyes water. There were lockers for maybe ten people lined along two walls. Mine was open and waiting for me, a few sets of clothes lying inside waiting for me, but somehow, I didn't feel like changing just yet. It had taken so long to find, that the excitement of a successful test had begun to wane. To be honest, I wasn't even sure it was the detergent that was making my eyes water.
The isolated silence of the room just left me feeling strangely lonely.
I was quickly growing to hate those private moments. Without the excitement and mental diversion of a day's activity, the reality of my situation had a chance to catch up with me.
I was a pilot now.
I should have been excited, and lord knows I wanted to be, but I just couldn't.
Laying back on the wooden bench in the centre of the room, I looked up at the ceiling above me, at the clean pipework crossing the white tiles. I couldn't help but wonder what happened next.
My greatest fear had been that I'd be crushed by Bardiel, but that seemed unlikely now.
That meant I was probably here for the long haul, stuck here in the world of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Hauling myself to my feet, I decided it would be best if I cleaned and dressed myself before anybody else arrived, or before my train of thought had gotten too far down that track.
In my locker, there were NERV issue towels, what looked like a swimsuit and T-shirt that made up my training gear, a spare plugsuit in its bag, a door length mirror and finally, the clothes I'd worn on my way here, neatly pressed and folded on a shelf. Also present, was a jacket of the same basic design as Misato's, but coloured yellow to match my plugsuit.
That false-leather jacket would quickly become my most prized possession.
But I had to wash the drying liquid off my body first, before the smell made me sick.
I was glad I was on my own when I stepped, now naked, into the shower area. Again, there were ten separate shower heads, with no curtains or partitions between them. A solitary shower spared my blushes, thought the paint stripper that passed for shampoo ensured that my skin was still a hot red all over.
And I could still smell that bloody LCL.
Afterwards though, I didn't look forward to sharing that room with anyone, especially since I'd forgotten to bring a towel with me.
Hence, the reason why I baulked seeing another person calmly undressing themselves in front of their locker, and why I nearly retreated back to relative privacy of the warm showers, when she turned her red eyes to my dripping wet, cold naked body.
Ayanami Rei was standing in front of me, as naked as I was, her plugsuit waiting on the wooden bench.
She quickly returned her attention to shuffling into her own white suit but I found something about the first child absolutely fascinating.
She was so different from a normal person, or from what I possibly could've expected.
I'd seen many blue cosplay wigs as well as a few excellent dye jobs, but this was neither. Like everything I suppose, the difference between the real Rei and a cosplayer was obvious. With dye, or with a wig, you could always see the roots but or the base of the wig. Rei's hair was a pure clean shimmering blue.
And yet, her skin was a perfect pale alabaster, looking almost like it had been painted by an animator. There were no spots, marks or scars anywhere on her tightly formed body, not even a single stray hair.
And then I forced myself again to stare at the floor, blushing pink.
If Rei, or anyone else for that matter, caught me staring, it could make things…difficult. Although I doubted they'd break out the torches and pitchforks, if I was ever discovered, I could be sure only a violent end would follow.
"Nagato Noriko," I eventually blurted an introduction into my feet, reaching deeply into the Japanese Misato had taught me. "Good Afternoon."
"Ayanami Rei," she answered not even looking up at me.
That was the sum total of my first conversation with the Pilot of Unit 00.
I thought if I focused myself, I'd be able to avoid staring at her. I would dry myself, dress myself and leave without ever looking over at the pale skinned girl behind me. It was a great testament to my powers of concentration that Rei had left before I'd even finished putting my underwear on.
If I'd been left to myself, I might've been able to dress myself in maybe ten minutes, as it was; fate in the form of another new arrival had different ideas.
"Hey fourth child," Asuka announced her presence in her own unique manner.
Shame sent me hiding behind my locker door, hiding my still half undressed body from view. A chill ran up my spine as she passed behind me, my pressed steel cover quickly rendered ineffective by her flanking manoeuvre.
"Hey." I muttered, more concerned with the troublesome plastic clasps behind my back. Getting everything to slot properly into place, then holding everything inside while I clasped both halves of the brassiere together was proving as difficult as usual..
"Well…"
She stood there, hands on her hips, staring at me as she was waiting for something.
"What?..."
Already, I was beginning to question the safety, and perhaps sanity of having Asuka as a friend.
"Your activation test Fourth Child," she said. "How did it go?"
Oh…
I shrunk down immediately, breaking eye contact. I didn't want to tell her the result. If she'd offered to be my friend, she had to have some small amount of respect for me, and the last thing I wanted to do was destroy that.
"Well, come on. I have my own synchronisation test to get to y'know."
"Fifteen percent," I finally answered.
I braced myself.
"Hah!" the German snorted. "The penguin could score more than that. You'll have to double that if you want to fight in combat."
She started to unbutton her school uniform, while I made sure to bury my eyes into my own locker.
"It was my first time," I tried to explain. "And I was afraid,"
To say 'I was afraid' was putting it mildly.
"It's only a machine, what's to be afraid of?"
"It's a forty story machine, with a history of running out of control." I deadpanned.
"Ack…whatever," she dismissed the subject with a bat of her hand. "And you're doing that wrong."
"What wrong?"
"What are you, stupid? Your bra of course, you're putting it on wrong."
Following my usual pattern, I squeaked and gave a soft pink blush.
"Watch me," Asuka directed, her tone leaving me no other options. "You're supposed to go under your arms like this, "she reached back behind her, almost as if she was giving herself a half nelson, and gently grabbed her own undergarment. "Not go over the top of your own head."
I wrestled with my conscience for a moment, before deciding it would be okay as long as I focused only on her hands, and nothing else. Asuka unclipped her own, then re-clipped it with practiced hands.
"See, easy, isn't it? Now you try."
At least I could take a small comfort from the fact that this wasn't the most embarrassing thing to happen to me all day. That, and the Second Child's advice actually worked, though she was halfway into her plugsuit by the time it did. As much practice as I was getting, it was still very much up to chance that I'd manage to get the cotton garment to stay in place long enough to hook it together.
"Thanks," I smiled.
"No problem," she dismissed it. "Though I'd have to wonder how you'd forget to do something as simple as putting a bra on, even if you had brain damage."
"I don't know," I answered before I could catch myself.
Asuka growled.
"So what do you remember then?"
I thought about it for a moment, even though the answer was obvious to me already. I wondered if I shouldn't just make something up, just to smooth things over with the redhead before she got too frustrated with me. She had offered friendship, and the last thing I wanted to do was wreck any chance of that, or to end up having Asuka as an enemy.
Unfortunately, I couldn't even think of anything remotely believable beyond 'I hated my father'.
"Nothing, except the crash." I responded.
"So you don't remember your parents?" she pushed.
"No,"
To me though, that still felt like a lie
"Your school?"
"No."
"Your friends?"
Did Asuka count?
"No,"
"Even if you're still a virgin or not?"
Eep…
I crossed my legs at the mere thought of that, searching for somewhere to hide from the Second Child's interrogation, or even just a way to throw her off. It was also a mildly disturbing thought that maybe I mightn't be as pure as I hoped.
"No," I said again, "But…em… I think Doctor Akagi would be able to answer that, if you really wanted to know."
"What?" Asuka blinked. "How could she possibly know?"
Seeing the flash of confusion on her face emboldened me somewhat. That was probably the only reason I was able to answer that question the way I did
"She gave me my physical exam earlier," I shuddered. "She was very….thorough about it."
To illustrate the point, I wiggled my index finger menacingly.
I watched as the implications found a nice place to nestle in her mind, her expression slowly changing from mild confusion, to one of mild disgust quickly turning to all out nausea as the full impact of my words hit her.
"I know what you mean," The Second Child groaned. "With her cold fingers and the way she makes you lie on that table, it's like a torture chamber."
It was like great weight dropped from my shoulders as I tried to decide whether I was about to get sick, or just burst out laughing. There was nothing like a shared psychological trauma to break the ice.
"It was horrible," I managed to get out. "I think she did it on purpose, just to make me squirm."
"Welcome to Japan Fourth Child," Asuka grinned. "An entire country run by a bunch of sexually repressed perverts. Have you seen some of the stuff that's on television here, or what they sell over the shelves in comic book shops?"
It was at that very moment that she pressurized her plugsuit, the red plastic suit moulding perfectly to her figure before my eyes. And yes, I had very much seen some of the things they had on television in Japan, and I had very much enjoyed what they sold over the shelves, fansubbed and scanlated of course.
"That's not to mention what passes for a school uniform here, especially our gym wear. They call them bloomers, but I…"
Asuka's miniature rant was interrupted by hum of the door opening behind me, and another angry voice that sent chills down my spine.
"Speak of the devil," I muttered privately.
Whatever Doctor Akagi wanted now, it seemed to have something to do with Asuka.
"Hai, Hai," The Pilot of Unit 02 relented to the doctor's demand. "Duty calls." She said to me.
"Enjoy," I called after her.
"Of course I will." She said with a flourish. "Just remember what your Unit 03 felt like when you synchronised, then try and imagine what a real Evangelion might be like."
"I will!"
The door closed, and again, I was left again on my own. This time though, I felt much better. While I still had no idea why Asuka would decide to offer me friendship, perhaps it was just the same way she'd offered to be good friends with Rei in Episode nine, or she'd just taken pity on me, I knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.
She could definitely be more helpful than Misato when it came to 'certain' areas where I lacked 'certain' skills, for want of a better way to put it. And it'd be better than being in a corner on my own for however long I was going to be stuck here
Slipping into my new yellow jacket, enjoying the sweet smell of the fresh vinyl for a moment, I looked at myself in the mirror. It was strange, but somehow, with the jacket, I could almost look like a younger version of Misato, except for having longer, darker hair.
As I finally left the changing room, my mood couldn't have been more different to when I'd first arrived at NERV headquarters, or even half an hour earlier after I'd finished my activation test.
Right then, I was optimistic, about the near future at least. In the short term, I was looking forward to starting my training, and perhaps trying to develop a friendship with Asuka. The long term wasn't worth worrying about yet. After how flustered Bardiel had gotten me, I didn't want Third Impact hanging over my head for the next few months, or however long away it was.
Five days into my life as Noriko, I was beginning to think that maybe I might be able to get myself settled into a comfortable position here.
I…I
June 2010: Cleared a few little things up…
Dartz IRL