James's P.O.V.
I hated to admit how good looking Logan was right now. I only hated it because Logan knew how to get under my skin. He knew how to piss me off. More so than Kendall ever did. The only one who has ever come close to being as irritating as Logan, is Carlos. But Carlos was a different story. For a while all I saw him as was my boyfriend's best friend. But that faithful drunken night changed everything, and instead of being swept away by the tall slim blond, cooking furiously in his kitchen, or the short man with the cutest ass standing next to him, I was stuck staring at the tattooed hunk who was sipping his Mimosa not a care in the world about how unraveled he made me. "How are those onions coming along James?" I quickly looked back down at the long beautiful cherry wood table below me. I had been sitting at the head of the table cutting onions, celery and apples, in my own world for almost 20 minutes. "How about you go help him…make yourself useful." I turned my head slightly to the right and saw Kendall push Logan into the fridge. He had his hands on his hips making Logan shove at him slightly. But Kendall had just told Logan to help me and Logan didn't look happy about it. "Either you sit down and help cut stuff up, or go with Carlos to the store." Carlos smiled big at Logan and Logan simply sighed out and pushed past Kendall and then Carlos. He begrudgingly sat down next to me and huffed out looking down at the slight mess I made. "You finish that list?"
"Yup. And we're unfortunately going to have to go to Walmart. Nowhere else is open." I sat back putting my kitchen knife down and frowned at Kendall and Carlos who were both in front of the sink washing their hands. "You two need anything from the store?" I looked over at Logan who shook his head taking a big green apple and took a big bite out of it. I was pulled away from Logan, who caught me staring, by two arms wrapping around my neck from the back. There was a soft kiss to my temple and I closed my eyes, raising one hand and putting it on his arms rubbing gently. "Do you need anything?"
"For you to be careful. It's getting nasty out there." I opened my eyes hearing giggles and looked to the other couple at the table. Kendall was sitting next to Logan laughing as Logan chuckled still pushing his hands off him. "Also Kendall being the turd that he is, didn't get any beer." Carlos laughed in my ear before biting down on the lobe and standing up.
"Beer…typical you." A hand ran through my hair and I gently swatted it away seeing Kendall standing sliding a piece of paper into the back pockets of his jeans. "Do you think it's wise to leave them with knives?" I rolled my eyes picking mine back and eyed Logan. He was leaning up on the table, still eating his green apple, watching me.
"If they kill each other, less mouths to feed." Carlos laughed at this, and both him and Kendall walked to the front door. "We'll be back. Please don't let my house burn down." Logan gave a thumbs up to the front door, shaking his head, and not a minute later the door was shut, and Logan and I were left in complete silence. The wind was starting to pick up, and it was almost shaking the house. But neither of us said anything. In fact, Logan just went along eating his apple, and I picked up back where I left off, cutting my vegetables how Kendall told me to. I concentrated so hard on my task at hand, I didn't know Logan had gotten up and left the table, until I heard music coming from the living room. I set my huge knife down, finished with the onions and celery and stood up. I grabbed my almost empty mimosa glass and turned to see Logan standing in front of the back doors, leaning on his crutches. I frowned seeing his knee not wrapped and walked out to him. "You want me to take a look at your knee?" He glanced over his shoulder at me and suddenly, my heart was broken. He was crying. Not hysterically, but silent tears were coming out of his eyes. I set my glass on the coffee table as I walked up to him and tensed up. "What's going on?" I reached out to touch his cheek but he turned his head to look back out into the snow covered back yard. I glanced over his shoulder, standing directly behind him and noticed the paw prints Max had left not two minutes ago were being covered rather quickly. I felt weird knowing Carlos was out there and how dangerous it was, but I trusted Kendall. Kendall's been driving in this kind of weather his whole life.
"I'm sorry." I stared at the back of Logan's head and saw him slightly shrug. "Do you realize this time last year was when I was attacked…was when we met, and turned our entire worlds upside down?" I looked down at my hands and noticed how awkward they were hanging by my sides. I shoved them into my jean pockets and swallowed hard. So hard it almost hurt. "I'm sorry I got swept away by you. And I'm sorry you cheated on your boyfriend. I never meant anyone to get hurt. And we all did. No one came out of this a winner. Except maybe you…Carlos is a great guy." I smiled taking a chance and looked up just too still see the back of Logan's head. "If you and I could travel back in time and tell our old selves how turned around all this would get, do you think we'd listen?" I opened my mouth to respond but closed it quick, realizing I didn't have an answer. "I think we'd tell each other to get lost. No way would I have believed I'd end up with Kendall. And don't get me wrong…he drives me crazy, in the best possible way. He is so handsome, and kind and sweet…and gentle with me. But for a while there I hated him, because he had you're entire heart." I wanted so bad to reach out and grab him. Take him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay. But I knew better. I was weak when it came to touching Logan. It didn't help he smelt like Kendall. "I can't believe I fell for a man who was taken. I can only imagine how my mom would feel about it." He chuckled and I watched him wipe his cheek off on his shoulder. "I'm going to tell you something…but before I do, I need you to promise secrecy." I frowned and looked back over Logan's head out into the backyard. "James…"
"I won't tell a soul whatever you're going to tell me." I saw him raise his head, in confidence, and he breathed out hard.
"I love him." I relaxed a little, not remembering when I tensed up so hard. I also frowned at the back of his head and cautiously reached out. I set a few fingertips on his back, gently pushing them into him. He glanced back over his shoulder and batted his eyelashes at me, no longer crying. "If you're wondering why I was crying…it's because my brain was telling me to feel guilty."
"About what?" He laughed and carefully turned on his crutches to face me.
"About the fact that I fell for Kendall…and fell in love." He leaned against the glass door and shook his head. "I fell for you…and didn't fall in love. If that makes sense." I laughed quietly and nodded looking back down. I again shoved my hands into my pockets of my jeans and kind of felt a heartache run through me.
"So…all those times you told me you loved me?"
"I was trying to convince myself I did. The more I said it, I started to believe it. But trust me James…you were great for me. You were exactly what I needed. You healed me…physically and spiritually. If it wasn't for you I would have become a hermit and lived the rest of my life off Welfare and had 70 cats." I smirked looking up and he smiled small looking up in my eyes. "You and Carlos seem happy."
"It's not hard to be with him." He nodded looking down and swung his hurt leg. "Go sit down…I'll check your knee and you'll tell me about you and Kendall."
"There isn't much to say." I rolled my eyes gently shoving him to the black leather couch. "He asked me to live with him. And put in an office in his bakery." I watched Logan sit down and quickly sat down in front of him on the coffee table. He sighed out raising his hurt leg and set it on my leg. I carefully felt around his knee over his pants and saw him wince a couple times in pain. "He also keeps telling me he fell for me."
"Yeah…Kendall doesn't do anything half assed. If his heart tells him something's gold, he dives in, no looking back. He's intense. Don't fault him on that." Logan laughed and sat up pushing my hands off his knee. I sat back and let him take his leg off mine. "It's still pretty swollen. You should have it elevated."
"Too much to do." With that Logan started to stand himself up and I went with him. As soon as he was on his feet he started to fall back. He grabbed a hold of my biceps and I hooked an arm around his back holding him up. We looked into each other's eyes and my brain started to tell me to do a very stupid thing. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so hard, he couldn't breathe. I wanted to shove my tongue in his mouth and kiss him with every ounce of strength I had. But I never got the chance. Because I pulled away from him and quickly handed him his crutches. As soon as he had them, I turned away from him and walked back into the dining room grabbing the very large plate with the cut onions and celery.
"Hey Loges?" I stood in front of the counter by the sink and watched Logan limp in staring up at me. "DO me a favor…stop looking so damn cute. Carlos can't stop staring at you." I saw him frown and he walked into me leaning onto the counter, and me. He rested his head on my shoulder and I started to wash my hands.
"I will if you stop staring at Kendall's ass. I saw you graze it." I chuckled and laid my head on top of his.
"You're very protective of him."
"He brings it out in me." I laughed again and glanced up over the bar back out into the snowy backyard. "You know what I'm thankful for?" I hummed a response and I mindlessly dried my hands. "You ever came into my life. I don't know if I would have ever been able to have trust in people if it wasn't for me. We may not be together but I'm happy because of you." I smiled and turned my body slightly so Logan and I were facing the same way. I hated seeing the kitchen full and messy of Thanksgiving cooking, but knew Carlos and Kendall would be able to handle it.
"You're happy because of that tall blonde guy we call Kendall. I can see it in your face…I can see it in the way you look at him." He seemed to push harder into me at that and glanced down at my watch. There was defiantly a football game on right now. "You wanna go sit down? You know if we start to do anything Kendall will kill us."
"That sounds good actually. My leg kind of hurts." I nodded letting him push off me and watched as he walked out into the living room. "Do you think you could make me a cup of coffee?" I didn't respond, I just went right to making the cup, not even trying to hide the smile on my face.
As soon as we sat down, Logan curled up into a little ball on the opposite end of the couch to me,, and passed out. I threw a brown plush blanket over him and turned the TV on low, sitting back, watching the turkey day game. About an hour went by, Logan still asleep while I made myself a cup of coffee and had a bagel. I sat back raising one arm on the back of the couch and went to pull my phone out of my pocket, to text Carlos and find out where they were, but the front door opened and they came busting in, bags and bags full of crap in tow. I frowned standing up and put my finger to my lips showing them Logan. Kendall seemed to frown at this but quietly shut his front door. Max came charging out from under the dining room table where he's been sleeping and jumped up on Carlos. "How long has he been out?" I followed Kendall and Carlos out to the kitchen, shushing Max who was whining for his dad's attention and leaned against the sink letting them put the bags on the floor and both turn to me.
"About an hour. He said his leg was hurting." Kendall frowned and unzipped his black coat.
"DO you think it's broken? Cause a sprain wouldn't make him like this."
"Yeah…they also wouldn't prescribe a pain killer for a sprain." We both turned to Carlos who was throwing a grape in his mouth shrugging. "I snooped through your bathroom…sorry." I smiled small at him as he leaned against the stove. I took a step to go towards him but Kendall cut me off. He stopped between us and looked me dead in the eyes.
"Can we talk in a little bit? And also can you check his knee. I would bet money it's broken." I shook my head softly and he frowned.
"I already felt around it." He perked up taking off his coat and I shook my head. "He would be in a lot worse pain if it broke. You gotta realize…Logan has never really been hurt. His pain tolerance isn't like yours…or Carlos."
"What about that shit he went through last year?" The kitchen went quiet and I felt like throwing up. Both Kendall and I turned to Carlos who's cheeks went slightly pink. "Umm…" Kendall simply smiled and patted Carlos's shoulder before walking out of the kitchen. Carlos groaned out quietly and trudged towards me putting his face in my chest. I quickly wrapped around him, putting one hand through his hair, and the other arm around his middle back. "Why am I so awkward? You can't possibly find that attractive." I laughed loudly and he looked up, hurt. I bent down fast and kissed him softly. I pulled away feeling him push on me and he shook his head. "Did you two talk while we were gone?" He turned, but didn't get to the bags on the ground like he wanted. I wrapped around him and pushed him back into me, shoving his butt into my crotch. He sighed out putting his hands on my arms and tilted his head, exposing his neck to me. It was his way of saying, kiss here. And I did. I bent down and put my lips on his cold skin, closing my eyes. "Did he yell? And did you sit and take it like a grown up?"
"He didn't yell…he apologized." I whispered it into soft skin, hearing talking from out in the other room and opened my eyes. I watched one of Carlos's hands raise up and run through my hair, tugging slightly. One of my hands pushed up under his sweater and t-shirt, while the other went down to cup his bulge, over his pants. He moaned quietly and I went back to kissing his skin.
"Apologized for what?"
"Being in love with Kendall and not me…don't tell him I told you that." He chuckled and turned quickly in my arms. I kept my arms around him and slouched a little seeing him getting up on tippy toes. He put his hands on my face and leaned in, kissing me. I pushed one hand up under his shirt in the back and dragged my fingers around his skin. I pulled away from his lips, working furiously to get mine to part so he could invade my mouth. He frowned and I laughed raising one hand and set in on his cheek.
"Just so you know…" His arms went around my neck and dangled off my shoulders as he slightly pushed his hips into mine. "You are the first guy, in a very long time that I feel like I could fall in love with. And no one else…no one compares to you. I don't just fuck around with super-hot guys all the time. And when I find one I like…"
"Who likes you back." He raised an eyebrow at me interrupting him but I smirked pushing both my hands down into the pockets of his jeans, squeezing his butt.
"When I find one I like…I try to keep a hold of him. If you can't handle that, and if you don't want to see this go for a while, tell me now." I frowned and pushed into his mouth with mind kissing his lips. He giggled into our kiss and put his hands on the side of my face running his fingers up through my hair. "You can't answer with a kiss every time." He said in between each kiss and I smirked nodding, still kissing him.
"Yes I can." He laughed loudly in my mouth before pulling away but keeping his hands on my face.
"This doesn't help the nausea…" We both turned to the side seeing Kendall walking behind Logan, who looked pale. I frowned letting Carlos go who took a bar stool Kendall was raising over Logan's head.
"He needs to eat. He hasn't had anything since last night."
"I had the apple, I told you that already." Both Kendall and I frowned at Logan who sat down the bar stool. He quickly raised his good leg and wrapped his arms around it putting his forehead on his knee. Kendall leaned down and kissed the back of his neck rubbing his back.
"Just sit out here with Carlos…he'll make you something to eat and maybe when you feel up to it, you can help us cook." Logan nodded and groaned as soon as Kendall took his hands off him. "James…can we talk?" I nodded quickly and watched him turn on his heels. As I started to follow out, I patted Logan's head making him reach out and slap the back of my leg. I smirked looking back and watched Carlos bend over to go through the bags. His ass in those skinny jeans…unbelievable.
I was surprised to find Kendall had led me back to his room. Even more so when he shut the door and walked to his bed. He sat down and I stood awkwardly making him laugh and pat the spot next to him. I walked to him slowly and sat right next to him cautiously. As soon as I did he stood up and walked to a walk in closet. I frowned putting my hands in my lap and watched as he grabbed a medium sized brown box form the top shelf. He walked back out to me and sat next to me, turned, one leg tucked under the other. He set the box on his leg and opened it quickly pulling out an old ball cap of mine. I frowned taking it form him and he smirked. "I found some of your stuff. I was hesitant to give you that hat back. For a couple reasons." He leaned on the box and looked me dead in the eyes, still smiling. "See you in that ball cap, backwards, drives me nuts. I figured since you're dating my best friend I'll be seeing you often, so I didn't want to take the chance of seeing you in it and getting upset were not together. Also, I didn't want to give it back to you because it has that stupid logo on it, and once again were not in California. It's Minnesota." I laughed setting the hat to the side and he smirked looking back down into the box. "I also found this…I figured it would do more good for you, than me." I scrunched my eyebrows seeing him pull out an old, frayed black notebook of mine. I shook my head slowly before he laughed and set it in my hands. And then it hit me. I use to want to be a writer. But with the high demand of my job, I lost time and eventually lost motivation. When I did however, Kendall would read it, and urge me to start writing again. I never did. "And the last thing I found of yours…please don't get mad at me for giving you this." I glanced up to his face opening the notebook on my lap and watched him raise a really nice expensive gold watch I got him many moons ago. It was something he said he always wanted. And I got it for him. I even got his name engraved on the back of the face. "I know…this meant a lot to both of us but…" He looked down, frowned and running his fingers over the watch shaking his head. "Every time I see it, I think of you. And when I think of you, I think of pain." He raised his head and blinked a couple tears back into his tear ducts. "I don't want to think of pain anymore. I can be friends with you. I have to be friends with you because of the two guys out in my kitchen. I don't want to fight with you anymore. And I don't want to hate you anymore. I'm hoping if I give you these last three things…maybe we could start over. Maybe we could go back to before we started dating." He looked back down at the watch and I cautiously reached out, taking it from him. "I care so much about you James, even still. And I care a hell of a lot about Carlos. It's taking me a lot to let you date him. But I see how you are with him. And I want nothing but happiness and love for the two of you. And when you guys get married, I better be someone's best man." I laughed making him look up; toss the box onto the floor and throw is arms around my neck.
"I care a lot about you too Kendall. I always have." I paused and wrapped an arm around him letting him push his face into my neck. "I never meant to hurt you." It was a whisper that made both of us shiver. "I always use to think, I was the best thing for Logan. I used to think no man would ever be able to take care of him like I could." Kendall pulled away just a little and we locked eyes. "And I use to think the same thing about you." I smiled and reached up wiping away a tear form his otherwise flawless face. "How ironic is it that you two would end up together, especially to me, knowing no one could treat each other better, than you two." He laughed and looked down putting a hand on my hand still on his face. "Just like you're protective of Carlos…I can't help but feel protective of Logan. He's very fragile, even though he tries to not act like it. Don't put him through what I did." He only nodded still looking down and out from behind the closed bedroom door I heard two sets of laughter and then sort of loud music. "I suppose we have to go back out there."
"I trust Carlos with the cooking but Logan can't even pour himself a bowl of cereal." We both laughed at this, knowing how too true it was. I casually slipped the watch into my jean pockets and tucked my notebook under my arm along with my San Diego ball cap. I followed Kendall out of his room all the way out into the kitchen where Logan and Carlos were huddled together, over I had to guess, Logan's i-pad. They were reading something, and neither of them moved when we entered. Kendall sighed at all the bags still on the ground and I went out into the living room fast, putting my hat and notebook on my bag by the huge bookcase lining the wall. As I turned to go back out into the kitchen is topped seeing the complete white sheet outside.
"Hey guys?" For a few seconds it was quiet and I walked out to the patio doors stopping in front of them. I felt someone, Carlos get under my arm as he wrapped his arms around my stomach and back. He sighed outlying his head on my chest. I turned my head slightly to see Kendall holding around Logan who was eating a buttered piece of toast. "I hope you are equipped for a sleep over. There is no way we can drive in this. Especially tonight." Kendall looked over Logan's head putting his chin on it looking at me. He nodded once before laughing out and looking back out to the snow. "I also hope you have enough liquor."
"Do you think this is my first rodeo?" I chuckled kissing Carlos's head squeezing around him tight. "Thanks for coming today guys. It means a lot."
"Thanks for letting us come." I turned back to look at Kendall who was looking down at Logan who was shoving the last bit of bread in his mouth. "You said Logan has to cook the turkey by himself right?" Logan reached out, without looking and slapped my stomach. I smirked watching Kendall pull him into him and put his lips down by his ear. I turned my own attention to the short, adorable man who was clinging onto me and put one hand into the back of his pants, getting his attention. "What can I do to help with the cooking?" Carlos opened his mouth to answer but turned to Kendall who I heard sigh. I turned back to him and he shook his head at something Logan was whispering in his ear.
"I'm gonna need help with more chopping. And Logan is begging to help with the stuffing of the bird so get your cutting board ready." I laughed but nodded turning with Carlos who was dragging me behind him with strength. "Happy turkey day handsome." I glanced over my shoulder as Carlos started to get things ready for me and watched Logan stand on tippy toes, well on one foot, and put his hands on Kendall's neck. He kissed him, softly, making Kendall wrap around his back and hold him up.
"See something you like perv?" I snapped my head to Carlos who was in front of me holding a huge kitchen knife. I laughed and gently took it from him setting it on the counter beside us. "Happy Thanksgiving Babe." I grabbed around his ribs and pulled him into me, kissing him softly. I pulled away just a centimeter and smiled small not needing to say anything back. He pushed back into me, and he kissed me passionately, knowing, and telling me silently, he knew I won't hurt him. Ever.
Hey! It's the end. I know that's probably sad to some of you but It felt right to end it here! Please let em know what you think! Thanks guys!