After what seemed like hours Lexa picked herself up from her bedroom floor. She called Indra to confirm some information and headed out the door to the parking garage of her apartment. Sitting in one of her two parking spaces was her blue 1966 Shelby 427 Cobra. Lexa did not indulge much into the loads of cash she had with the exception of the car she had rarely used. Actually, she couldn't remember the last time she drove it without Clarke in the passenger seat. Lexa fired up the engine, which she was surprised to hear start right away. She pulled out and made her way towards her destination on the Upper East Side.

She sat in the car for a solid 20 minutes until she had the courage to make her way to the building. It had been nearly 13 months now since she stepped foot inside the pent house she shared with Clarke. It was a 2 year anniversary present to her beloved girlfriend, in hopes that Clarke would decorate it to her liking. Lexa was informed that Clarke moved out just two months after she left the country. She had left her security team to watch over Clarke as well as Octavia and Raven to ensure their safety, though if any of the girls had found out about it, it would just be another thing for them to hate Lexa for.

As she made her way up to the top floor the first thing she noticed was the barren door. Usually Clarke had decorated the outside of their door for whatever Holiday was coming up.

The hidden key was still in the same place as always. Lexa had tossed her keys into a lake one night in her fit of rage during the first month away from Clarke. Part of her hoped that the key being there meant Clarke had not completely given up on Lexa.

She made her way in and was immediately caught off guard, the walls that were once covered in pictures and Clarke's paintings now were empty. The entry way where they hung coats was empty, with only a pair of Lexa's old jogging shoes in a box that held the remaining coats Lexa had left. She walked through the foyer eyes scanning the entirety of the great room and kitchen. What struck her first was a large cardboard box that had glass shards sticking out of it. When she approached she could hold back the tears no more. Inside was every picture and frame that held an images of Clarke and Lexa, thrown away and broken.

The kitchen was empty; all of Clarke's cooking contraptions were gone. She made her way through to the bedrooms, all the furniture remained, but everything of Clarke's was long gone. Lexa's guitar was smashed on the ground near a large hole in the wall, surly from where the guitar made its first impact.

She made her way to the bed she had shared with Clarke. The pillows still smelled of her cucumber and ginger shampoo, the smell alone brought on more tears. After a few minutes of just holding their pillows to her face, Lexa moved to the desk near the wall.

In organized fashion it held two cell phones, car keys, house keys, a diamond ring and a letter addressed to Lexa in Clarke's handwriting. Further down the desk was a second letter, clearly from Raven due to the handwriting and the fact it was thrown at the end of the desk haphazardly.

The cell phones were explainable, Lexa had left hers at the pent house when she departed so Clarke was unable to contact her to come back home. Clarke must have left hers as well when she moved out, probably in an attempt to rid herself of anything related to Lexa. The car keys were to the Mercedes G-Wagon Lexa had given to Clarke as a graduation gift from college. The house keys, clearly were the ones to the pent house, she wanted Lexa to know she wouldn't be coming back. The diamond ring however was foreign to Lexa, she had never seen it, but suddenly guilt wracked her body, praying that it was not an engagement ring meant for Lexa.

She took Raven's letter out first, knowing that it would be far easier than anything Clarke had to say.

Lexa,

By now you're probably realizing Clarke left. Being here was too much for her, I know you'll understand that.

I don't know where you are, or why you left, or even if you'll ever see this… But just know that I still love you, I always will. You're my best friend Lexa, and I might hate you, like a lot right now. But you know as well as I do, we've always been able to be okay no matter what happens. I just wish you would come home… Please Lexa.

When you're able, just please let me know you're okay… I know Indra said you're fine and just taking a leave of absence, but I need to hear it from you. I need to hear your voice.

Love you Lex,

Rae

Lexa had prepared for the worst, only to find that Raven clearly hadn't reached the level of anger she was at by the point she wrote this letter. She tucked the letter away back inside its envelope and returned it to the desk. The next letter would be harder, so she made her way to the bed to get comfortable. When opening Clarke's letter a photo fell out. It was a picture from the New York Mets game the two had attended just days before Lexa left. Clarke was kissing Lexa's cheek and Lexa had a huge smile across her face. The photo alone made the tears start to fall.

Lex,

I have moved out. I figure you wouldn't mind since I haven't heard from you in two months. The house keys are on the desk, as well as the keys to the G-Wagon. I don't want any of it anymore. I've gotten a new phone too, so I'll leave the old one. By the time you read this, whether it's tomorrow or next week or next year I'll be gone. The ring was for tonight, ironically. It's your birthday today. I had a big surprise planned out; I was going to ask you to marry me…

I guess some dreams can never come true. All I've wanted for the last 4 years was to be yours. And I was, you had… have all of me. Even still. I know you left for a reason; I just wish I could know why. Why did you have to hide from me Lexa? We're supposed to trust one another, no matter what.

Anyway, I'll make this short. If I forgot anything please just forward it to Raven's address in the meantime.

I love you Lexa, I always will. You are my one true love.

Yours Always,

Clarke

Lexa forced herself up and out of the bed. She went to the closet to retrieve some clothes she had left, where she found the two other things Clarke had clearly left for her.

Sitting propped up against the door was a large framed photograph of her and Clarke from their 1 year anniversary. Lexa had taken Clarke to the Broadway showing of Wicked, something Clarke had always wanted to see. Next to the photograph was the first painting Clarke ever gave Lexa. It was an abstract piece where Clarke described their souls intertwining with the uses of dark greens and blues.

Lexa couldn't take anymore, so instead of packing up her things, she sent an email to Indra to have movers come up to the pent house and move everything into storage. She didn't need the constant reminders of everything she did wrong looming over her.