Lexa made her way back home, full of loss and sadness and confusion. She didn't know how to feel. She didn't know what to feel, or how to fix what she had done, even if it was the only choice she was left with. On a spur of the moment, she did the last thing she wanted to do, but in reality, it was her only option for at least a chance to talk to the blonde woman who consumed her every thought.
TO : Raven, I'd like to explain a few things if you'd allow me. I apologize for how I left yesterday. I'm ready to tell you everything.
TO LEXA (WORK): So you saw her this morning too… Didn't you?
TO LEXA (WORK): Time and Place, and this better not take long. I have things to do today.
TO : Half hour from now. Meet me at the East entrance of Central Park. We'll go to my place from there.
TO LEXA (WORK): Make it 20 minutes. I'll be there.
Raven was waiting at the East entrance for Lexa, soon enough Lexa's blue Shelby pulled up right in front of the shorter brunette.
"Change of plans, Anya is home, we're going to the bar. Get in." Lexa prompted.
"Fine with me, I'm sure I'll need a drink anyways…" Raven flashed her trademark smile. "I really miss being in this car, Lex. You could have at least left the keys behind when you disappeared for a year."
"So I could come back to scrap metal after you crashed it?" Lexa missed the back and forth banter she used to have with Raven. It was a nice reprieve from her current nervousness and gave her a sense of calm that she needed.
"Hey! I'm a better driver than Clarke, and you still let her drive it!" Raven realized her mistake. "I'm sorry I brought her up, I didn't mean to…"
"Don't apologize; she's all I think about when I'm in this car…" "It's nothing I wasn't already thinking about."
They pulled up to Trikru the bar Lexa owned but never frequented. Anya was her manager and handled all the day to day operations so she was never needed unless there was a special event going on. The pair parked the car in the back and walked through the loading dock to the main room. The bar was closed until 1pm and it was only 11:30am, so Lexa knew she had at least an hour until Anya's employees would show up to start setting up. She made her way around the bar and started mixing herself a whiskey neat and Raven a scotch and soda.
"You still remember…" Raven muttered at the fact Lexa remembered what she drank.
"I remember everything Raven, I play through memories of all the times we shared daily… Please don't assume that any of what's happened in the last year was easy for me. It's not."
"Okay, you said you were ready to talk, so talk…"
"First, I need to know I can trust you will not bring any of this up to Clarke until I decide to, which may not be ever… Can you do that Raven?"
"Just say what you have to say Lex, enough of this cryptic bull shit. You're the last thing I'd bring up to Clarke…" Raven was getting irritable. Lexa topped off her drink and continued.
"As I'm sure you remember, when my mother died my father remarried. Nia."
"Yeah, I remember. What… Did she lock you in a dungeon like in Rapunzel? Otherwise, I don't know why this is where you're beginning?"
"It was a tower actually… But Just listen. This is a long story, but it's the truth, the truth I couldn't tell any of you. Your safety depended on it at the time…" Lexa sounded desperate to get the information out and Raven allowed her the time to speak.
"Do you remember Octavia's car accident about 2 years ago? The police said it was a drunk driver. Well.. It wasn't. It was a scare tactic, a hit if you will. I didn't know at the time, I really didn't find out until about 6 months later. That's when everything started spiraling-"
"Wait… You knew someone did that intentionally and you told no one? You knew for 8 months before you left then Lexa? What the fuck was so important you couldn't say something. That man went on with his life with a slap on the wrist; O was in a coma for a month! She almost died!"
"Raven, please.. Just listen" "Nia was using you three as pawns in her game to get me to sign over Woods Consolidated to her. If the contract went through Nia would have been set for life, with or without my father, and we all could tell she didn't care about him. She was in it for the money. 6 months after O's accident I started having more and more contracts fall through at the firm, which didn't make sense; contracts that we were a shoe in for, where the client just stopped communication. I found out through my security team that all the clients that fell through had had meetings with Finn within 3 months of the contract date. And yes, Finn Clarke's ex boyfriend. I had them looking into the issues about a month before you hurt your leg. The day of your accident was the day we found the connection to Nia. I can't prove it, but I believe that your accident was planned as well. Remember you said how you felt someone watching you before you fell off the roof that day? I think it was Finn, if not him, then someone who works for Nia. Once you were out of the hospital is when I had my team start following you and Octavia, to keep you safe. You can be upset later, just listen." Lexa downed the rest of her drink and started pouring another for both girls.
"Nia requested to meet with me again to ask for rights to Woods Consolidated, of course I said 'no'. Not understanding that all of these 'accidents' fit together, I told her there was no way in hell I would ever allow her to be part of my company, let alone sell it to her. She threatened me then saying that 'I'll get what's coming to me eventually, after she 'took care of' the rest of the peasants' that's when it clicked. I needed to figure out Nia's game plan before I could act on anything. So, I put double security on you three for the next couple of months. Nothing happened so I assumed Nia was done with her games, and finally rolled over in defeat. That's when the messages started coming. The messages were about hurting Clarke, about Octavia's accident, about how you wouldn't be able to run away now that you had a bum leg. Lincoln confirmed it was Finn that was sending the messages."
"Hold up… Hold up…" Raven spoke. "So everything was for your company? My leg, Octavia…. Oh my god… the scaffolding at the lake house?! Was.. was.. that her too? Lexa, how could you not tell anyone?"
"Yes. Clarke's accident was because of Nia. That was when I made my decision to leave. So I could take care of Nia and Finn without putting you three in jeopardy."
"But how, leaving didn't help you. She still had to know that we were important to you."
"She did, but I was being followed. Every time I left the house I was being watched by her people. It was someone different everyday so there was no way for my team to track and locate them." Lexa reached out for Raven's hand across the bar top. "Raven, you three are my family. You have been since the moment you came into my life, I would give my life for any of you. I know how everything looks from the outside, but you know the truth now. Nia is no longer a threat, and Finn is gone. For now. We tracked him to South Africa until we lost contact, but without Nia, he has no support."
"How do you know she's not a threat? What happened last year Lexa?" Raven was eager for information now.
"That's the only thing I can't discuss with you. It will cause more harm than good, please just trust me on this. She will never get to any of you again."
"Lexa… You have to tell Clarke. She has to know. What if-"
"I can't do that Raven. It's not fair to her, she's happy, like you said. I can't undo the pain that I caused her." Lexa sighed, keeping her face stoic. "I gave up my happiness to save you three anymore harm, which is something I could never regret. You all are safe, and Clarke is finally moving on. It's what needed to happen to fix this."
"She's still in love with you Lexa! She hates you right now, but if she knew the truth… She has never stopped loving you."
"Raven, promise me… You will keep Clarke out of this. I can't be the cause of anymore pain for her. The last year has killed me. Even if this Matt guy didn't exist… I'm not the person she fell in love with 4 years ago. I… I've done things that are unforgivable; I can't be the Lexa she knew."
"Can I talk to Octavia..? Or can you talk to Octavia? Please Lexa…" Raven was begging at this point. "And don't think I've forgotten about the fact you had security on me for those months without my knowledge…"
"…Well actually, I just lifted the security on you last week…" Lexa retorted waiting for the shriek that was sure to come from her friend.
"Are you fucking kidding me Woods?! So this last year… You knew everything that was going on..?" Raven was pissed.
"No, I didn't. I asked to only be informed of you three in the case that something happened. I got 2 updates on any of you within the last 13 months. One time was when Clarke was followed going into the pent house, and the other was, I'm assuming when you two broke every picture frame in the house including my guitar…"
"Oh… You heard about that did you…? Well hey, in retrospect… You were a bitch, and kinda deserved that…"
"I know Raven. I accept full responsibility to all the pain I've caused."
They were interrupted by a throat being cleared near the entrance to the bar. It was Anya, she must have overheard at least a portion of the conversation, enough to know that Raven knew about everything that occurred in the last year.
"Raven, nice to see you." Anya piped up walking towards the two girls.
"Hey Anya, so… I'm assuming you knew?" Raven questioned. Her and Anya had begun forming a somewhat romantic relationship a few weeks prior to Lexa's disappearing act. Anya ended things, saying it was too hard with Lexa gone and Raven hating her cousin. Things ended amicably, though Raven still thought back to the times they shared together.
"I knew enough… Not everything."
"Look, I am meeting Clarke and Matt in… Oh shit, 20 minutes! Ah, fuck. I'm going to be late, it's half way across town…" She looked around trying to figure out the fastest public transportation to get back to the East side of New York City from the inside of the bar. "Fuck, fuck, fuck"
"Raven, chill. I'll drop you off." Lexa said. "I'm headed towards the firm anyways."
"Shit, we can't do that. Clarke can't see you." Raven was clearly flustered, not one to ever be late to anything.
"I'll drop you off down the street. Don't worry. She won't know. Come on, let's go!" Lexa was already making her way out to where the car was parked.
Lexa dropped Raven off around the block from the place she was meeting Clarke at. They never saw Clarke or Matt which Lexa was thankful for. She could not have another sighting of the girl she loved after this morning, at least not until she could compose herself better. Raven made sure to tell Lexa that they'd be finishing their conversation later and that she loved her. Finally, after hours of conversation and spilled emotions Lexa let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She felt free again. She wasn't whole by any means, but she had Raven, the girl that could make her light up and laugh like no one else.