AN: This little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone (it was interrupting me while I was trying to write a chapter of Love's in the Water) until I wrote it out. This is rated a very strong T for imagery, no smut since I've been living in the M section lately and wanted to get out and see what the other side feels like for a bit.

As always XOX to Elaine for her friendship, proofing my things, and sharing in my *enthusiasm* for these two knuckleheads :)

You guys will know when this takes place as you read on.

Disclaimer: I still don't own POI *pouts*

P.S. Don't hate me for how it ends *where's an emoji with a halo when you need one*

Joss rarely gave into to tears because it was a waste of time; because you had to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and take the hand that was dealt to you. But tonight was an exception to the rule. She was in her bed, lying on her back staring up at the ceiling, and crying.

Joss wiped her face as she shifted her head to peer at the man sleeping beside her: John. She had slept with John and it had been amazing, wonderful, and she wanted to do it again. When she called him over earlier tonight it hadn't been with the intention of acting on their emerging feelings for each other. Their friendship was deepening and changing without her or John being able to stop it. He was jealous of Ian. She was jealous of Zoe. He touched her more, she leaned into it. He'd call her to talk to her, but not about just the people they tried to save, while she'd call him just to hear his voice.

Tonight she called him over because she needed a friend to talk to after what happened to Laskey, he was a lost chance, and she was feeling down. John had dropped everything and came over mere minutes after promising to be there as soon as he could. They talked about nothing and everything, neither one touching on HR and he comforted her without knowing what he was comforting her for. And then the next thing she knew the atmosphere between them changed; tension built between them, aware of the fact they were sitting close to each, completely alone in her apartment.

Conversation stilted as silence enveloped the room. Neither spoke as the inevitable happened because the pull between them was too powerful to resist, as their heads drew near slowly, giving the other an out, but neither took it as their lips touched. It was gentle at first; mutually hesitant because they were friends and friends didn't do this. But then no one was like John. And her thoughts about him weren't always strictly platonic. Then the soft tender kiss wasn't enough as it deepened, lengthened, and grew more passionate with each second their lips clung together. Before long the kiss raged out of control as they ground into each other; moaning and gasping, sucking on each other's tongues with hands roaming searching for hot skin, arousing each other to the point of no return.

All she thought about then was how he made her feel and reality didn't barge in on them as he carried her upstairs to her room, or when they removed their clothes, or when he entered her slowly and brought her the most intense and exquisite pleasure she had ever known.

Reality didn't even strike as she came, feeling like her pussy was going to explode as he brought orgasm after orgasm to her, crying his name out, or when John's orgasm erupted shooting his seed deep inside her, moaning her name loudly. She didn't focus on the fact that they didn't use protection which, had they done this a week later, she would have panicked. But they were okay. Nothing penetrated their little bubble as they collapsed to her bed in a tangle of arms and legs, panting but sated.

Nothing, that is until he fell asleep in her arms and made her realize just how much she cared about him. How much she wanted to find him lying beside her nightly and how unlikely that would be the case due to the fact that she now had enough evidence and learned who the head of HR was, so she could bring them down. She had to bring down HR for own sense of guilt over Cal's death and John would want to help her and she couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let John help her because HR would go after him because of her. Joss couldn't risk his life for her need to bring those bastards down. John would die to protect her and she would hate him and herself for it.

More tears welled up as she sat up, naked, and her body hummed with renewed need as she looked back at him, her comforter barely keeping him decent. Joss leaned over on her elbow to stare at his sleeping face.

"I know you'll wake up and be angry when you find me gone, but I can't risk you waking up and stopping me. I have to bring HR down but I know you: you'll want to help me and HR hates the man in the suit already," she whispered thickly as fresh tears slipped free and fell, thankfully not landing on him but on the comforter. "You mean too much to me to risk it. I can't lose you John, I just can't."

When he still breathed deeply in deep sleep, she carefully leaned down and brushed her lips against his cheek that was roughened with stubble. She had fought against falling for John for so long and so hard but it was fighting a losing battle.

"Losing you would devastate me, so it has to be this way because you'd give your life for me and I can't deal with that. I hope you can forgive me in time," she whispered before leaning back and climbed out of her bed to get dressed.

Joss looked down at John as he slept soundly which she doubted happened often for him, feeling a little smug that she was the reason he was so wiped. Before she lost the willpower to leave she turned and rushed for the door of her bedroom, praying that she would make it out of this alive so she could see her son grow up and see if John could forgive her so they could see these new feelings through. But she wasn't going to dwell on it. She needed to focus on Quinn and bringing down HR.

When John woke up an hour later, hand splaying on her side of the bed searching for her; he found her gone.

AN: And then we all know what happens next; they live happily ever after, after they much through some angst and such because her dying will never happen in anything I ever write, so that's why you guys can't hate me for the end :) I thank you all fellow Careesers for sharing in my enthusiasm for these two as well. Thanks for reading!