As always,

THEMoDePo: Well, of course it wasn't going to be that easy! I warned all of you at the beginning that this was not going to be like my other stories, that it would be more raw and less fluffy, and that included the blam part. Hehehe, glad you like the silly thing with the hickey, I was not going to include any humor on this story but sometimes the story takes a life of its own. No, please, you're the best! Thank you so much, darling!

Raiderva: Why, you don't think Sam can save the day? We'll see! ;) I think Sam doesn't want to share everything that has in his heart for three reasons: 1. He is not even sure himself about what he feels for Blaine. 2. He doesn't want to give Blaine false hopes if he decides he doesn't feel that for him. 3. He is scared. He could probably tell Blaine a lot of things, like you say, but those three reasons are stopping him. He's not even sure how deep Blaine's feelings are. Apart from that, the term playground is not correctly used? Crap, I doubted a lot with that, I meant an open space with maybe a basketball pitch or something like that. How would you call it? And no, my prison is not based on the one in the show, so maybe you'll see other different things. Thank you so much, dear!

Guest: OMG, thank you! So glad you enjoy it! Sebastian is usually good in my stories, so yay, you're going to like him here. Oh, honey, there isn't going to be ONLY one major character dying, I'm sorry I'm going to keep you suffering ;) Thank you sooo much, I hope you keep enjoying it!

Darrinia: Yeah, poor Ryder... let's see if he can get out of this one... No, Sebastian is in the prison, don't worry :) How did Sam lie? Maybe he wasn't entirely honest about his feelings (though I think he doesn't know how to handle them himself), but he didn't lie. You'll need to be more patient about that :) Thank you so much, preciosa!

Me-me157: Yep, not yet. You didn't think it was going to be so easy, right? ;) Exactly, they both (especially Sam) need to come to terms with their feeling before even trying to get them together. They will get there... eventually. We all need to be patient I think. I don't know about Ryder, we'll see! :) Everyone assumes he's already a goner, though, this is so funny!

Midlifecrissis: Hehehe, give Sam some time, poor thing doesn't even know what he is feeling... Your comment really made my day, because I was worried that the humor wouldn't be appreciated in a story like that, as if it was to shallow to include it... So I'm glad you liked it! OMG, poor Ryder, he just made a mistake! XD Thank you so much, honey!

Gleeville: hehehe, then my mission is acomplished. Just wait for this next chapter ;) About Ryder... let's see! Thank you so much, sweetie!

A/N: I just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for the amazing amount of support I'm getting with this story. Those of you who know me a little know I've been struggling with it a lot, and that it's being really difficult for me to write an action story, so your support and reasurrance means the world to me. To know you're enjoying it and that you take the time to let me know every time makes it all worth it! So thank you, so so much!

And oh, BTW, isn't it funny how everyone is so sure Ryder will be the first death? Who knows? XD

CHAPTER 12

Sam got his gun out of the waistband of his jeans and shot at the walker that had Ryder already at his reach, fortunately hitting it in the head and making him fall before he could hurt the boy. That gave Ryder half a second to react, in which he fiercely grabbed his knife and attacked another one of the walkers, but he was too slow and unskilled and he needed more than one blow to effectively put it down, so the other walkers kept coming closer and closer to him.

"Guys!" Sam yelled without stopping his shooting, hitting the target more often than not so he was keeping most of the walkers from reaching his friend from the distance, as Ryder fought desperately for his life. "We need help!"

All the others came running from outside at Sam's desperate plea, and were horrified to see the situation the youngest of them was in. They started shooting too as they kept getting near, but they were not as good with their guns as Sam was –some of them had never used a gun before–, so they were not finishing the walkers off as efficiently as they would have wanted.

Sam could see Ryder was getting exhausted and not much progress was being made, as more and more walkers kept coming his way and he was hardly able to keep them away with his knife. He wanted to go to him and help him from his side, but he was afraid that if he stopped shooting for a second one of the walkers would finally reach him.

But he didn't have any option: he had to get to him and get them away from him, even if it was only for a second, so they could escape. Reassured at the fact that the others would keep shooting as he ran, he took a quick decision and ran towards the place where the walkers were starting to corner Ryder against the wall.

As he ran, he saw that two of the walkers were about to attack on Ryder at the same time, and it was impossible that the boy, untrained and tired as he was, could take care of both of them. There were other walkers between Sam and Ryder, and the blond didn't have a clean shot from where he was standing, so his only option would be to jump on the counter in front of him and trying to find the right angle to shoot from up there. Not hesitating, Sam didn't even stop his dash and jumped, but unfortunately his feet slipped on some dirt on the floor and instead of going up, he ended falling bodily against the counter, hitting his side on the corner of it in a very painful blow that left him breathless for a second. Just a second. But it had been enough, and before he could straighten up he heard Ryder's bloodcurdling scream as one of the walkers finally bit his shoulder.

As soon as Ryder, injured and defeated, stopped fighting the rest of the walkers were finally able to reach him, and Sam only had a second to find Ryder's eyes, so full of pain and panic, before he was thrown to the floor and he disappeared under a pile of biters trying to get their piece. And when he stopped screaming almost instantly, Sam prayed that at least he would have died quickly and could not feel anything anymore.

Sam wasn't aware of the screams of everybody else, some crying, some asking him to run, nor the way that Puck was grabbing Kitty around the waist as the petite cheerio fought desperately to escape and run to her friend's help, even if there was nothing she could do anymore. It was not until Santana ran to him and grabbed his arm, desperately urging him to move as the walkers were now moving to them, that Sam got his feet moving and let himself be pulled back into the bus.

It had come the time to have that pending conversation with Blaine, Sebastian had thought a while after the group left with the bus. He was trying to think of a way to approach his friend and get him to talk as he went up the stairs to his cell, where he was hoping to find him. He knew he had gone upstairs to say goodbye to Sam before he left, but when he failed to come back down after a good while, Sebastian had worried. He knew Blaine, at least he did once, and he knew how his friend always craved for loneliness when something was bothering him, and how he kept it all inside and pretended everything was fine until someone was stubborn enough to get it out of him. He guessed Sam was the one to do it more often than not, as Blaine was hardly ever alone when Sam was around, but he was not here at the moment –and he was probably the main reason why Blaine was actually exiled to his room–, so it was up to him to make sure little Blainey was alright. After all, Sebastian hadn't volunteered to go with the others because he felt someone needed to look after Blaine, and he was more than willing to do that job.

"Knock knock" Sebastian jokingly said at the lack of a door to knock once he reached the cell and saw his friend was indeed there.

"Hey, Seb" Blaine answered from his place on the bed, where he was lying on his back, lazily contemplating the bunk bed on top of him.

"May I come in?" Sebastian asked, not wanting to impose with his presence if Blaine really needed to be left alone.

"Of course" Blaine politely answered, and he even sat up on the bed to show Sebastian he was indeed welcome.

"What are you doing here on your own? You okay?" Sebastian asked easily, as he and Blaine had been good friends once and communication had always flown easily between them.

"Yeah, I was just… resting, I guess" Blaine answered with a shrug of shoulders, not lying but not telling the entire truth either.

"Or worrying" Sebastian contradicted him with a fond smile.

"Yeah, that too" Blaine admitted with a chuckle.

"They'll be alright" Sebastian tried to comfort him as he sat next to his friend and looked intently at him. "Sam will be alright"

"Yeah" Blaine answered with a hesitant nod, not even trying to deny who was he thinking about –that was Sebastian, after all, and he knew he could trust him. He was there for him, trying to make him feel better after all, right?

"Look, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but…" Sebastian started, hesitantly, hoping Blaine wouldn't think he was crossing a line. "You and Sam…"

"I can't answer you that" Blaine answered with a sigh, looking kind of defeated.

"Ok, I said I'd respect it if you didn't want to talk about it" Sebastian said, a bit disappointed he hadn't gotten his friend to open up to him, before affectionately squeezing his thigh and starting to get up to give him some privacy.

"No, I didn't mean that" Blaine immediately stopped him, grabbing his arm to make him stay at his side. "What I meant is… that I don't know what's happening between us. That's what you were going to ask, right?"

"Yes"

"It's complicated"

Sebastian sighed at the obvious mess his friend's feelings were right then and he threw an arm around his shoulder to bring him to his side in a comforting gesture.

"Do you need a shoulder to cry on?" Sebastian offered with a sympathetic smile that Blaine gratefully reciprocated.

"It's just… it's the first time I can't read what he's thinking or feeling" Blaine confessed, frustrated at the fact he was not being able to decipher him like he usually did. "One minute he is all touchy and attentive and he kisses me and then…"

"He kisses you?" Sebastian interrupted him, because there was no way he was going to let something like that pass as casually as Blaine had tried to make it sound.

"Yeah, he kissed me last night" Blaine confessed after some hesitation, feeling like maybe he was betraying Sam's trust but really needing to share it with someone. Besides, he knew he could trust Sebastian, he was not going to say anything. "But apparently only because he was drunk"

"Oh, so Puck was right and you had a little party up here last night!" Sebastian said, feigning to be offended even if his amused grin clearly belied his words.

"Ok, we did, but please don't tell the others"

"Your secret is safe with me, Killer. So he kissed you and…"

"And I stopped him because I didn't want it to be like that, you know? Not in a drunken moment"

"But you want it to happen" Sebastian spoke for him, reading his mind.

"More than anything" Blaine confessed, blushing slightly. "But this morning he kind of said it would be the worst idea ever"

"So you think he is not in the same place that you are?"

"That's the thing, Seb" Blaine answered, his eyes so full of doubt it was almost painful. "I don't really know"

"But you're aware of how much like a couple you two act, right?" Sebastian tried to make him see. Because he didn't know if Sam wanted to start something with Blaine, but his deep feelings for the small guy were more than obvious.

"Do we?" Blaine asked in utter surprise.

"Really?" Sebastian said, even more surprised at how naïve or oblivious Blaine seemed to be. "Everybody thinks you're dating!"

"Great, that won't weird Sam out at all" Blaine lamented as he covered his face with his hands and let his upper body fall on the bed again.

"Give him some credit, Blaine" Sebastian said as he removed Blaine's hands from his face. "Maybe he just needs some time. We are in a very difficult situation, after all, and this is new for him, it's comprehensible that he might have doubts"

"I can wait, I can give him all the time he needs if that's problem. I'd just like to know how he feels" Blaine lamented, his deep sigh showing how frustrated he felt.

"Look, Blaine, you know him way better than I do, but… you really haven't noticed how he looks at you?"

"How?" Blaine asked as he sat up again, looking intently at his friend with all the trust in the world, as he seemed to be way more aware of the situation than he was himself.

"Like you're his whole universe" Sebastian explained with a smile as he noticed how Blaine's eyes shone at his words. "You say you don't know what he feels, but for me it's pretty obvious how much you mean to him"

"I know he cares a lot about me, we're the best of friends, but…"

"Look, if you're asking for my opinion, he doesn't see you only as a friend. But… maybe it's him you should ask"

"I know" Blaine admitted, sighing again. "I'm… just too afraid about the answer"

"Why don't you come downstairs with me?" Sebastian suggested, deciding to give the matter a rest because the last thing Blaine needed was to keep thinking about it. "Don't stay here on your own, brooding over everything when you can be surrounded by people who cares about you while we wait for them to come back"

"Alright" Blaine easily agreed with a grateful smile as he stood up to follow his friend. He must have been going crazy, poor thing.

"Let me help you or Sam will have my hide if he finds out" Sebastian said as he took Blaine's arm and threw it around his shoulders before he could refuse, knowing that carrying him on his back like Sam had done would be completely out of question.

"Thank you, Sebastian" Blaine said, smiling at his friend, and Sebastian knew he was referring to much more than just walking him downstairs.

"You're welcome, Killer"

Santana started the bus and got it running in a swift movement, as if desperate to put some distance between them and the place where they had just lost a friend. But the sound of her aggressive driving was the only thing that broke the silence on the vehicle.

Sam felt disconnected, like he was watching his friends from a distance instead of being there with them. He could see Kitty quietly sobbing a few seats in front of him, Puck keeping a hand on her shoulder as if he was afraid that by letting go of her she would fade away and they'd lose her, like they had lost Ryder. Brittany seemed to be in shock, quiet and immobile as she was, and Trent and Mike looked as if they were trying, and failing, to find the right words to say to make everyone feel better.

But there were no words that could make them turn back in time so they could save Ryder; so they could tell him not to open that door, so they could tell him to stay on the prison; so Sam could be more careful and not slip on that counter so he wouldn't miss that shot. The shot that could have saved Ryder's life.

Suddenly overcome by a rage and a grief he had never experienced before, Sam suddenly screamed and started hitting the backrest of the seats in front of him with the palm of his hands, not knowing another way of channeling his pain. He heard Kitty wincing at his sudden outburst, and he felt bad for a second about scaring her on top of everything, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. Just as he couldn't bring Ryder back to life.

He felt two hands grabbing his biceps, he heard someone talking at his side, but he couldn't decipher the words with all the racking he was creating. Only when Mike's voice yelled in his ear, trying to make himself heard, Sam understood what he was saying.

"Sam, Sam! Stop it! You're going to hurt yourself!" Mike yelled, shaking him in an attempt of getting some sense into him.

Sam breathed deeply four, five times, before he could bring himself to stop. He finally raised his glance and found everyone looking at him, their eyes filled with compassion and a hint of fear, and it was then when he finally connected with reality.

"It's okay, Sam. It's okay" Mike spoke like a mantra, carefully getting Sam to sit down again through the hands still keeping a grip in his upper arms.

Except it was not okay. And it would never be okay again.

"You're bleeding" Mike tentatively said, signaling at Sam's side once the latter seemed to have lost all the fight in him. "Did any of those…?"

"No, I hit the counter" Sam answered, almost in a whisper, noticing how Mike sighed in relief at his answer.

"Can I see it?" Mike asked, talking slowly and softly, as if talking to a wounded animal, almost as if he was afraid to awake the beast again.

Sam didn't answer, but he lifted his sweater enough for Mike to see the wound, and the latter only inspected it for a second before breaking into a little smile.

"Thank God, it's just a scratch, it's not even bleeding anymore" he said, as he let Sam pull the sweater down again and watched as the blond lowered his head and rested his forehead against the backrest he had been hitting only a few seconds ago. "Sam, it was nobody's fault"

"Mike" Sam said, raising a hand as a signal for him to stop as he looked pleadingly at him. "Please, don't"

"Alright" Mike reluctantly agreed before sympathetically squeezing his shoulder and leaving him alone at the back of the bus as he wanted.

Sam watched Mike walk down the aisle to give him some space, and how the others took the hint and stopped looking at him to center on their own emotions. Because Sam knew that, in spite of how shitty he felt, he was not by all means the only one suffering.

He could see Kitty still crying in silence. Amongst the people on the bus Kitty was probably the one closer to Ryder, as the younger members of New Directions had really stuck together during the last year. He couldn't imagine and was definitely not looking forward to Marley, Jake and Unique's reactions when they knew. Or any of the others for that matter, as it would be a devastating blow to everyone to know they had lost one of them.

He didn't know how they were going to get over something like that. Yes, they had lost a few people during the attack in the school, but… Ryder was a friend, not just some random student. And he had died just when they had started living the illusion that they were safe, only to remind them that they weren't. And probably never would.

Sam could feel his eyes stinging with tears he refused to shed. He had failed everyone enough by not keeping them alive, they didn't need a weak and crying mess on top of that. He needed to keep strong, to give them hope. Even if the only thing he wanted was to get to Blaine, bury his face in the curly-haired boy's neck and cry until there were no more tears left in him.

"Blaine, it's your turn again" Artie took Blaine out of his reverie with an amused smile.

"Sorry" Blaine apologized, smiling embarrassedly, as he threw one of the UNO cards he had in his hands that they had found in the staff room.

He was not trying to be a nuisance, but he couldn't stop getting abstracted as he worried about the fate of their friends. They had been gone for a long time now, and his worries just kept increasing with each passing minute. And he worried even more when he noticed he was not the only one fretting for them to return, as Tina and Unique had gone outside with the excuse of taking a walk, even if Blaine knew they were just waiting to see the bus arriving as soon as possible and opening the door for them.

And since his damned injured leg didn't allow him to accompany them, Artie had taken pity on him and offered a game of UNO that Sebastian and Joe were quick to join. But he was so distracted that they had to call his attention every time it was his turn, and Blaine felt thankful that they were being so awesomely patient with him.

"Remind me again why you brought him downstairs" Artie said, turning to Sebastian as he smiled at Blaine to let him know he was only joking.

"So there would be someone who plays this stupid game even worse than me" Sebastian joked as he frowned at the amount of cards in his hand –only surpassed in quantity by Blaine's.

"Good to know what you want me for" Blaine was able to joke, though it was quite evident his heart was not in it.

"What were you expecting? That I…" Sebastian answered, only to be interrupted by Blaine shushing him vigorously.

"Did you hear that?" Blaine asked, as he pricked up his ears. "I think they're back"

Marley, who had been just hanging out with the rest of them in one of the other tables in the room, rushed to the window and was able to glimpse the bus' frame making its way through the door of the fence, even though it was already pretty dark.

"Yes, they are back" she announced to everyone with a smile as she settled to wait for them.

It was only a minute later when the adventurous youngsters crossed the door and made their way into their refuge. But the expression on their faces and the tears in their cheeks immediately alerted the rest that something was seriously wrong.

"Sam!" Blaine practically yelled as he noticed the blood stain on his side, jumping from his seat and running to him, completely forgetting about his injured leg.

"What happened?" Sugar asked, her eyes full of fear.

"Where's Ryder" Marley intervened, her voice shaking.

"We lost him" Sam said in a whisper as he gently moved Blaine aside and disappeared to the stairs before he could hear the others' reaction.

But he heard them alright. He heard Marley's negation scream and Unique's sobs, he heard some blows as someone got into a rage as he had done in the bus. But he continued up the stairs, desperate to distance himself from all the pain –hardly able to deal with his own.

The scene downstairs was horrendous, as some people cried and embraced, others channeled their grief through blows and kicks to the wall and others just stood there, rooted to the floor, incapable of moving or saying anything.

Blaine was one of the latter group, and he looked around himself as if he didn't know what to do or what to say. He wanted to comfort the others, to move, to cry, but he couldn't react. Only when Mike walked to him and put a hand on his shoulder he raised his gaze from the floor and looked at him.

"Go to Sam, Blaine" Mike said, having been a witness to Sam's desolation and knowing only Blaine would be allowed to take care of it. "He… he needs you right now"

Blaine just nodded, grateful for some directions as to what he could do to help the others. If Sam needed him, there was nothing that could stop him from going to help him.

"Oh, and he got injured" Mike said, and he rushed to explain when he noticed Blaine starting to get worked up about it. "It's nothing serious, just a scratch and it wasn't from a walker, but I thought you'd want to know"

"Thanks, Mike" Blaine was finally able to talk before Mike went to embrace Tina and he turned up to go to Sam.

Only one look into the cell broke Blaine's heart as he saw the picture of grief Sam was right then, sitting completely unmoving on the bottom bed, almost as if it was a sad painting instead of a real scene. There was so much sorrow emanating for him that Blaine could almost touch it, and he only hesitated a second, in which he erased any possible trace of tears in his own face, before making his presence known.

"Sam?" Blaine whispered, not wanting to scare the other boy, who seemed pretty abstracted as he sat on the bottom bed. "Mike told me you were hurt"

"It's nothing" Sam answered, without moving an inch nor lifting his gaze from the floor, so soft that Blaine had doubts he had not imagined it.

"Can I see it?" Blaine asked as he limped towards the other boy, but he knew he would need to insist when Sam remained unmoving. "Please?"

It must have been the insistence in his voice, or the fact that Sam knew he wouldn't let go of it until he showed him, but in the end Sam just sighed and slowly removed his jacket and his sweater, revealing a deep scratch and some bruising on his side.

Blaine leant on Sam's thigh to kneel at his side as gracefully as he could manage, given his injured leg, and he took a quick but thorough look at the wound. It was obvious Sam had hit something to get an injury like that, but Blaine refrained himself from asking. Fortunately, it didn't look serious, but he felt they both would feel better if he took care of it and… fussed over the devastated young man for a bit.

"It doesn't look too bad, but I will take care of it just in case, alright?" Blaine explained as he squeezed Sam's thigh comfortingly before standing up to take the medical supplies Sam had left on the top bed just a few hours ago, when he had emptied his backpack –even if it felt like a lifetime ago.

"Ok" Sam answered, though he sounded as if he couldn't care less about it.

Blaine sat at his side this time when he had grabbed everything he would need to clean Sam's wound and motioned for him to straighten up so he could have better access to the wound.

"Rest your arm on my shoulder" Blaine ordered him, so Sam's arm wouldn't get in the way, and the latter immediately obeyed.

It hurt to see Sam acting so obediently, almost like he had lost his will, but Blaine could perfectly guess what was running through his mind in that moment.

"Sam, it wasn't your fault" Blaine said while he cleaned Sam's wound, reading his mind as usual, hoping against hope there was such a tangible way to heal Sam's soul as there was to heal his body.

"I know" Sam answered too quickly, but the wince that crossed his face at Blaine's words belied his real thoughts at the matter.

"No, you don't know" Blaine contradicted him as he let go of the cloth and cupped Sam's neck with his hands to make him look at him once and for all. "You were not in charge of these people, you know? Ryder decided to go, just like everyone else. You were not responsible for him, and no one blames you, except for you"

"Just… finish with the wound, please, I want to lie down for a bit" Sam asked him, implicitly begging for Blaine to let it go.

Blaine sighed but obeyed, knowing that antagonizing Sam in a moment like this wouldn't help anyone. He carefully cleaned the wound with alcohol to make sure it wouldn't become infected and then he decided it wouldn't need to be covered, as it was not serious.

"That's it, you'll be fine" Blaine announced as he threw the cloth at the bin on the corner of the room from his place at Sam's side.

"Thank you" Sam answered, and he was about to stand up to climb onto his own bed when Blaine stopped him with a hand to his knee.

"You can let go of it, you know?" Blaine said, stubbornly insisting for Sam to share his obvious pain with him. "You don't have to pretend with me, Sammy"

Sam was about to snap at him, to tell him to mind his own business and storm out of the cell to look for a place only for himself. But one look at Blaine's compassionate gaze, those golden orbs so filled with sympathy and love, was enough to break his defenses and before he knew it he was sobbing his heart out.

"That's it" Blaine said as he quickly put his arms around his friend and brought him to his chest in a protective embrace. "I'm here, Sammy. I've got you"

Sam wasn't unable to say a word because of the sobs making his whole body shake. He had buried his face on Blaine's shoulder, and he knew he was wetting his shirt with his tears, but he couldn't bring himself to stop, and Blaine didn't seem to care. Blaine's gentle caresses on the back of his head and the reassuring words he kept whispering in his ear were comforting him and at the same time they were making him cry even harder, knowing he didn't need to feign with Blaine and that he would hold him in his arms for as long as he needed.

"I shouldn't have left him alone" Sam lamented after a good while, his voice muffled on Blaine's shoulder. "He was young and inexperienced, I should have been keeping an eye on him. I was supposed to keep him safe"

"Sam, he knew the risk he was taking when he decided to go, he was not your responsibility" Blaine answered, quickly erasing a tear on his own cheek before Sam could see it, because he needed to be strong for him.

"He just wanted to prove himself he could do it, what the hell did he know?" Sam exclaimed between sobs.

"Then it's everybody's fault that we failed to make him understand the reality of the situation. Not just yours" Blaine reminded him, also feeling more than a little responsible about the fact Ryder had judged himself qualified enough to go because of the training session he had organized.

"But I could have stopped it" Sam insisted, burying his face in the crook of Blaine's neck, desperate for more contact. "If I had been only a little faster or if I hadn't slipped…"

"You did everything you could, Sam" Blaine contradicted him as he squeezed the other boy more strongly to him, knowing Sam enough to know that was the truth, even if he still didn't know what had happened. "You can't ask yourself for more than that"

"I wanted to be a hero, like you are" Sam confessed, the sobs finally starting to diminish even if the sadness in his voice was just as palpable as before.

"I am no hero" Blaine immediately denied, his own heart filled with sorrow about the fact he had failed once again at keeping everybody safe.

"I wanted to take care of these people. I wanted you to be proud of me" Sam continued, confessing his most inner thoughts to the only person he knew he could trust them with.

"But I'm proud of you, Sam. Each and every day" Blaine answered, placing a kiss on Sam's temple as his fingers got lost between the blond bangs in the back of the latter's neck.

"Why?" Sam asked, not able to believe it.

"Why?" Blaine repeated, breaking the embrace to cup Sam's face in his hands to make him look at him, intent on making Sam understand and believe his words. "Sam, nobody would have woken from a coma and accept a situation like the one we're living like you did! You didn't break down for a second, you didn't hesitate, you were only like ok, let's do it and look at everything you've managed until then!"

"Just because you were there to take care of me" Sam tried to dismiss the appraisal, but Blaine was having none of that.

"We take care of each other" Blaine contradicted him immediately. "I can't even count how many times you've saved my life"

"What kind of world is this?" Sam lamented, very aware of the amount of times either him or Blaine had been dangerously close to dying. "What can we expect from this life?"

"I don't know, Sam" Blaine admitted, joining their foreheads together in a gesture intended to make both of them feel better. "Maybe this is all we can hope for, maybe it will be better with time, I don't know. What I do know is I don't intent to find out without you"

"I need you, Blaine" Sam said as this time it was him cupping Blaine's cheeks, their faces only inches apart. "I could never go on without you. Please, promise me you're going to live"

"I promise to try my hardest, Sammy" Blaine answered, knowing it was the best he could offer if they wanted to be realistic.

"You're the only thing that it's good and beautiful in the world anymore, Blaine. Without you, it wouldn't make sense to go on"

"Don't say that"

"But it's the truth, Blaine" Sam insisted, his thumbs gently caressing Blaine's skin. "I could never go on without you. You're everything to me"

The pain, the guilt, the comfort Blaine was offering to him and all the sentiment he could see in his golden eyes suddenly became too much, and Sam took advantage of the fact that his hands were cupping Blaine's face to bring it to him until he could gently press his lips against those of the curly-haired boy, who apparently was too surprised to respond to the kiss and separated before it went any further.

"Sam, what are you doing?" Blaine asked, his eyes impossibly beautiful and huge with confusion and a hint of excitement he wasn't able to hide, so Sam took it as a signal that it was alright and tried again to join their lips.

Blaine sighed in surrender and let Sam deepen the kiss, granting his tongue access to his mouth as the blond's fingers buried themselves on the soft curls on the back of his head. Sam's taste was intoxicating, and Blained moaned into his mouth before he was able to stop himself as his own arms moved to curl around Sam's upper body. That seemed to give Sam the idea that his advances were appreciated, and before he knew it, the blond was gently pushing him down towards the mattress and fully climbing on top of him, the kiss never breaking for even a second.

"Sam, I thought you said…" Blaine tried to say against his lips, almost breathless, but Sam beat him to it.

"Blaine, please" Sam begged as he separated from him for a second and looked intently at the young man underneath him, his eyes so filled with pain and need and devotion that Blaine wouldn't have possibly found it in here to stop him even if he had wanted to. "I need you" Sam repeated, sounding much more desperate this time.

Blaine's only answer was to cup the back of Sam's neck possessively to bring him down to him and capture his lips on his own again, letting his hands roam all along the vast territory that was Sam's naked back, marveling at how his manly muscles tensed and relaxed as Sam's arms moved as he touched him.

Sam broke the desperate kiss, only to trace a path of kisses down Blaine's jaw and to his neck, where he took a moment to lick and suck on his delicious skin, his movements getting more frantic at each passing moment and driving Blaine crazy with desire. But his sweater quickly got in the way when Sam's lips wanted to travel more to the south, and driven by a sudden urge for their skins to touch, he rolled them over as graciously as he could given the narrowness of the bunk bed and ended up straddling Sam's hips.

Apparently Sam was as anxious to feel him as he was because as soon as Blaine was freed from his weight he rolled his sweater up, his fingers consciously brushing Blaine's skin all along, until he got it off him and sat up, with Blaine still on his lap, to plant butterfly kisses along his chest as he held him possessively around his waist. Blaine put his arms around Sam's neck as the blond's perfect lips left a trace of pleasure on his skin, and he moaned with desire when he felt Sam's tongue added to the mix.

"Please, don't ever leave me" Sam begged with a whisper against his skin, and Blaine's heart broke at how lost and broken he sounded after what he had experienced that day.

Wanting to make him feel better, Blaine didn't move from his ferocious embrace but pushed Sam backwards to make him lie down again and followed him to kiss him, less desperately and more lovingly than before, letting all the love he felt for the taller boy flow between them through their mouths and their touches so he would know how loved he was.

Also wanting to taste Sam's skin, Blaine broke the kiss and let his lips brush all the skin he found on his way down his chest, his hands avidly exploring that body he had dreamed with so many times.

"I won't" Blaine whispered before lifting Sam's arm above his head and bending to gently kiss the wound on his side he had just cleaned, with an implicit promise to always take care of him that made Sam tremble with emotion.

Unable to keep separated from those lips he was quickly becoming addicted to, Sam gently gripped Blaine's chin and made him go all the way up again until he could kiss him again, getting lost in each other's mouth as if there was no tomorrow. And when Blaine felt one of Sam's hands moving to cup the roundness of his backside and the other one fumbling with the zipper on his pants, and Sam groaned indecently loud with desire into his mouth, he knew he was screwed.

Blaine didn't know how to feel as he lay on his bed, spent and clammy, with Sam's arms strongly wrapped around him, his breath tickling him on the back of his neck as the blond spooned him. He was still trying to come to terms with what had happened only a few minutes ago. Only that morning Sam had apologized to him for kissing him and now they were entwined together, naked and sweaty, after having sex.

His heart had yet to stop fluttering, because this was Sam, the boy he had been in love with for ages, the best friend he had ever had, the person who got him better than anyone… And they had just given themselves to each other in the most complete and loving and passionate way. He had never thought something like that was even possible, and yet… it had happened. And it had been amazing, exactly how he had always pictured.

But his rational mind was telling him not to hope too much from it. That it probably was just two very close friends in pain and in a great need for comfort and physical contact. Just two people who cared deeply for each other and wanted to make the other feel better. It hadn't been like that for him, at all, but had it been for Sam? Hadn't he said just that morning that it would be a mistake to let something like that happen? Had he changed his mind or he had just let go of himself in a moment of weakness?

Just the thought that it was a real possibility broke Blaine's heart, but he was too afraid to ask, terrified of the answer he could get. But everything had been so perfect and Sam had been so loving and attentive and caring and careful that it was not that difficult to hope it had meant as much to him as it had for Blaine, right?

"You okay?" Sam's soft voice broke the silence of the room, making Blaine jump out of his skin at the unexpectedness of it, as he had been sure the blond was asleep by then.

Was he okay? What was he supposed to answer when he didn't even know it himself? When Sam, like he usually did, seemed to be reading his mind and had sensed his discomfort without even being able to see his face and was holding him even more strongly because of that? When he knew Sam knew him and loved him that much, but maybe he wasn't in love with him?

"We should probably get dressed" Blaine answered instead, half wanting to escape Sam's arms that were making him feel so much, half wanting to stay between them forever.

"Are you cold?" Sam asked worriedly as he rubbed a hand vigorously up and down Blaine's arm and then proceeded to cover them both with a blanket, never showing any intention of wanting to let go of the other boy.

"Yes, but it's not only that. If someone gets up here…" Blaine said, because he didn't think he could deal with that before he had been able to deal with himself.

"No one will" Sam assured him, strengthening his grip around Blaine's waist in an attempt of getting him to relax.

"Or if… something happens and we need to run"

"Nothing will happen, someone is keeping guard, remember?" Sam tried to convince him, being able to feel Blaine's turmoil of emotions even if he wasn't able to understand it. "I just… I need to feel you tonight, B. Like this. Skin to skin"

"Alright" Blaine immediately relented –how could he deny Sam anything, especially when the only thing he was asking him was to let him hold him so sweetly?–, realizing with a soft sigh that his enormous love for the blond guy would sooner or later bring him trouble.

"We should get some sleep" Sam whispered before placing a tender kiss just behind Blaine's ear and accommodating himself on the back of his neck in a intimately way. "It's been a long day"

Blaine obeyed and closed his eyes, willing himself through deep breaths to relax in Sam's arms, those arms that always had provided so much comfort and strength for him and that were now holding him so tenderly, their skins brushing at the slightest movement under their blanket. But he was not going to keep worrying about it that night, not when Ryder was gone, not when it could have been Sam, not when he could lose him any day. That night he had made love with Sam, he felt loved and cared for and he was being spooned by that excellent human being, and he was going to enjoy it. So he just nestled up more closely on Sam's chest and waited until his rhythmic and slow breath vibrating through his back told him he was asleep to whisper I love you, Sammy in the stillness of the night.

A/N: Oops, so it was Ryder indeed, I'm so sorry and sad :( But it had to happen sooner or later, we all knew that!

BTW, to those of you who usually review, could you let me know if we know each other from tumblr? I have the feeling some of you are tumblr mutuals with me and I can't remember because of the different names and I want to get it straight. Thank you!