It had been nearly two weeks since Clarke had moved out the apartment she shared with Matt. She moved out a week after Matt had broken up with her, even though he had a different name for it. Matt had opted out of their routine brunch dates, although everyone said he was more than welcome to come. He and Clarke still worked together and things hadn't changed much in their professional relationship. Clarke moved in with Raven, well back in with Raven, though the shorter brunette was rarely there. She had been staying at Anya's most nights after her epic fight with Clarke a few days ago.
Flashback:
"Hey C! I picked up some Chinese, figured you'd be hungry." Raven called to her friend from the couch.
"Oh, thanks! You sure do know how to put me in a good mood." Clarke responded while setting her things down at the front landing of the apartment.
"Why the bad mood?"
"I had my weekly meeting with Matt today, things haven't changed it just sucks to know he doesn't want me anymore. Being in the same room with him is so awkward, like I get it, but I just wish I knew he was okay."
"Matt is a big boy Clarke, he told you not to feel guilty, so don't. But what we do need to talk about is the fact that you've been dodging Anya and Lexa whenever the opportunity presents itself." Raven seemed a little irritated. Clarke had been formally invited to Lexa and Raven's pre-opening party for Mecha Technology that would occur tonight. She had already adamantly said she wouldn't be there.
"I'm not dodging them..."
"I've asked you two times in two weeks to go to Trikru with me.. Both nights you sat on the couch watching Netflix, and I mean, whatever you didn't want to drink, but I think the thing that sucks the most is that you won't be there with me tonight.."
"Rae, I told you, I can't yet..." Clarke seem unfazed by Raven's upset.
"You know what Clarke.. This isn't even about them, at all. It's a big night for me, do you know how much I hate art galleries? But who is there by your side for every single exhibit? I've never missed one of your exhibits or even your opening nights. Why can't you do this one thing for me?" Raven wanted Clarke to be there, to celebrate with her, to support her just like the rest of their friends would be.
"I never asked you to come! If-" Clarke was interrupted by a now fuming Raven.
"You didn't have to fucking ask Clarke! You're supposed to be my best friend, my sister. You know what, fuck this, I'm not even wasting my time anymore. Let me know when you get your head out of your ass. And you know what else, you're shitting all over Matt and what he did for you by being such a fucking twat towards Lexa. All she ever fucking did was love you and protect you from her crazy fucking step mom. I don't even know you anymore Clarke..."
"Raven wait.."
"No, I'm done Clarke, I've spent so many months supporting you regardless of the stupid ass decisions you've made and you can't even suck it up for one night." With that Raven left the apartment.
"You still haven't heard from her?" Anya question Raven as she drew small circles on her lower back. They were lying in bed just talking and cuddling. Raven had been a mess since her fight with Clarke. Clarke still hadn't shown up to the opening, instead sending flowers with a congratulations card.
"No, and I guess she either hasn't left the apartment or never came back according to Harper." Harper lived in the same apartment complex as Raven and Clarke and had kept Raven up to date on Clarke.
"She's not your responsibility babe, Clarke can take care of herself." Anya spoke softly, not knowing if what she said would prompt an outburst from Raven. "She needs time, I get that, but it's been 4 days, and she missed one of the biggest nights of your life because she was being selfish."
"I know you're right, I just don't know how to function without Clarke. We've always grounded one another, supported one another. I just don't know what to do."
"She'll come around babe.. She's going through a lot, and that's not an excuse, but, she's your best friend, she's just in a bad place right now."
"New topic, I'm so tired of wasting my emotions on her lately… You think Lexa will make her famous pancakes if I ask really nicely?" Raven chuckled at her 5 year old mentality.
"Hah, I'll ask, go get in the shower babe. You have a big day ahead of you."
Raven sweetly kissed Anya's lips and made her way into the bathroom. Anya threw on a robe and made her way down the hallways to Lexa's bedroom knocking softly on the door.
"Come in." Lexa was clearly awake only taking a short moment to respond.
"Hey Lex, Raven wanted me to ask you extra sweetly if you would make your famous pancakes for her big day?" Anya laughed softly as she saw Lexa's confused look turn into a smirk.
"I don't think Raven has ever come across my mind as 'sweet' hah, but sure. How's she doing? I kind of overheard your conversation the other day about Clarke bailing on the party."
"She's losing it, no one has seen or heard from Clarke so that doesn't help matters. I mean, I just really don't understand what the deal is with her..." Anya plopped herself on the bed exasperated.
"I'll find her, try and talk to her if she lets me. Let me get Raven's pancakes." Lexa said while getting up out of her bed.
Lexa made Raven her pancakes and made some for both her and Anya as well. When Raven emerged from taking her shower Lexa had given her a few pointers for her meeting today.
"Just remember to stay calm, and assertive. They're your new team now, you need to show you can lead them through all of this." Lexa said as she went back to cutting her pancakes.
"I just don't understand why you won't be there." Raven said.
"You need to do this on your own Rae, this is your company now, not mine. They can't be viewing me as their boss like they always have. You are brilliant, you can do this without me."
"How are you so confident in that? I've never lead more than the 3 members of the IT team."
"Raven, listen to me very carefully. You will make mistakes, but you will learn from them. They are your team now and they need to respect you just as they respect me. I will guide you however I can, but you can do this."
"Lex, I'm going from being over 3 people to 40 people, most of whom I used to work with."
"Indra will be there to help you. She's your VP, right? She's led companies before, hell I let her lead my company. She is loyal to you and your vision, she will be your best ally, use her."
"Can you just explain this one thing to me again... You give me 51% ownership you give Indra 40% and you only kept 9% for yourself... Why?"
"Because I don't want to be a CEO anymore Rae, you know that. You and Indra work very well together, you're the brains and she's the muscle so to speak. She will handle operations for you, you just focus on making your vision happen."
"Okay, okay.. This will be fine. I'll be fine. I can do this."
Raven went off to her meeting, Anya left to the bar and Lexa was left alone at the apartment. She hadn't reached out to Clarke since their phone conversation. Based on the way Clarke left it, she didn't know if she should or not. So, when she found herself bringing up Clarke's contact information and pressing the call button she felt a swarm of nerves set in. The phone rang three times before Lexa heard the other end of the phone pick up.
"Hello?" The female voice wasn't Clarke's.
"Hello, can I speak to Clarke please?"
"She's actually showering right now, may I ask who's calling?" The voice asked.
Lexa was getting upset at being questioned when she herself had no idea who this woman was.
"Lexa Woods, and may I ask who you are? Since you're answering Clarke's phone?"
"My name is Nylah, I'm Clarke's body model. I'll let her know you called Lexa."
"Thank you." Lexa gritted the response through her teeth. Why would Clarke be showering when she was with her model? And why did the name Nylah sound so familiar?
Instead of throwing something like she wanted, Lexa called Lincoln her head of security. That was his title but Lincoln had always been more like a brother to Lexa.
"Hey Lex, what's up?" Lincoln answered the phone joyously.
"I need you to find Clarke. Ping her cellphone or whatever you need to do." Lexa's voice was stern and angry.
"Uh... Okay. I'll text you the location." With that Lincoln hung up the phone.
Ten minutes later Lexa had receive Clarke's location from Lincoln. She was in Manhattan. Lexa made her way to the car park and hopped in her car. She ran a few stop lights on the way, and was confident she was speeding but didn't even know what the speed limit was. She wasn't concerned. When she arrived at what she found to be an apartment complex she shot Lincoln a text to find out which apartment belong to someone named Nylah. Lexa was fuming at this point, Clarke was needlessly sleeping around, with her model no less. Lincoln responded with apartment '4B'. Once Lexa figured out where she was headed she walked at a fast pace to the door to the apartment. Knocking harshly she waited for a response.
A woman wearing only a sports bra and long basketball shorts answered the door. She was beautiful. Not as beautiful as Lexa, but she could give her a run for her money. She had a full 6 pack and strong toned arms. No wonder she was a model for artists her muscle definition was spectacular. She looked familiar to Lexa but she had no idea where she knew her from.
"Can I help you?" Nylah looked confused at the fuming Lexa across the threshold. Lexa was very well known, there was no way Nylah didn't know the girl in front of her was Lexa Woods, multi-billionaire.
"Where is Clarke?" Lexa spoke harshly.
"I'm sorry Miss Woods, but she doesn't want to talk to you right now, otherwise she would have called you back." Nylah responded stoically, she may know who Lexa was but that didn't mean she was going to back down.
"I would like to hear that from Clarke herself. Now, let me see her." Lexa responded with just as much tact.
"You can try that intimidation thing with someone else. All you rich bi-" Nylah was interrupted by Clarke who had overheard the whole conversation.
"Nylah, it's okay. I'll just be one minute." Clarke was making her way through the threshold grabbing Lexa's hand and pulling the now enraged woman towards the parking lot.
"What are you doing here, Lexa? How did you even find me?" Clarke asked clearly angered.
"Do you sleep with all your models Clarke? Is that your thing now?" Lexa was just as angered and partially disgusted.
"Fuck you. You don't get to judge what I do anymore Lexa. I'm not your fucking property." Clarke had never spoken to Lexa like that, in fact she rarely said 'fuck you' to anyone.
"... Who in the hell are you now...?" Lexa was taken aback by the clear changes in Clarke in only a few weeks. "I don't even know why I bothered... Get your fucking head out of your ass, Clarke. All of this.. Looks fucking ugly on you." Lexa exclaimed motioning her arms towards Clarke and back towards Nylahs apartment.
"What? No words of encouragement for the 'girl you love'? I don't get a Remember the Titans themed motivation speech about trying to do better? You're really off your game, Woods." Clarke said is so sarcastically that Lexa felt another thing of anger rush through her. The addition of the air quotes around 'girl you love' thoroughly pissed Lexa off.
"You know what Clarke, you're not even worth it at this point. Just go, go sleep around with whoever you can fucking find. Hopefully, your little model in there will be able to pick up the pieces since you've pushed everyone that ever gave a damn away..." Lexa knew what she was saying was low, but she knew the only way to get through to Clarke was to tell her the honest truth, holding nothing back. "And the fact that you act as though I don't love you is just fucking stupid. I do love you, but I can certainly still hate who you've become." Lexa took a breath, tears of anger willing themselves to show but Lexa held them back. "You know how to get ahold of me when you decide to start caring about someone other than yourself." She paused slightly. "You know, Raven really needed you and you just fucking bailed after everything she's-"
"And I fucking needed you Lexa! But you left! You walked away, not me!" Clarke was angry but tears were filling her eyes. "You act like you fucking care but you don't. You gave up on us the second you walked out that door! Don't fucking tell me how I've changed, if I've changed it's because I had to fix myself after what you fucking did." Clarke wiped back her tears. "You hate who I've become?! Well it's all do to your fucking handy work! Are you proud of what you created?!" Clarke's tears were streaming now, as much as fast as she wiped them away they were back again.
Lexa moved to wrap Clarke in a hug, she was met with fists to her chest and she just kept hold of her.
"Don't fucking touch me." Clarke cried. Lexa didn't let go, instead just took the beating Clarke was giving to her chest, each hit less strong than the other. Clarke was giving up. After her outburst she just stood in Lexa's arms, her head fell against Lexa's chest. She was crying uncontrollably now.
"I'm sorry." Lexa said softly. "I'm so sorry Clarke." She just kept repeating those words to Clarke until the girl calmed enough to start breathing normally. "Please come home with me Clarke." Clarke shook her head 'no'. "Clarke, please." Clarke again gave a silent 'no' but still let Lexa kept hold her. "I love you so much. Please, let me help you." Clarke was slowly relenting. "Please baby, I need to know you're okay." Clarke's breath hitches at the term used by Lexa. "Please Clarke?" Clarke finally relented and nodded yes. Looking up at Lexa finally, she leaned in to the brunette's lips softly kissing her.
Clarke didn't know what changed in that moment, but everything she had been holding in fell away. She saw Lexa as she had years before, as the caring, loving person she was. "I'm sorry I said 'Fuck You'" Clarke softly said her head leaning in the crook of Lexa's neck now.
"You don't need to apologize Clarke." Lexa said softly.
"Why do you put up with me..? Why did you come find me?"
"Because I love you. And because I promised to always be there for you, I'm not going to break anymore promises to you Clarke."
Clarke just nodded against Lexa's chest. Lexa walked them to where her car was parked sitting Clarke in the passenger's seat. She called Lincoln quickly and asked him to retrieve Clarke's things from Nylah's apartment and deliver them to the apartment Lexa shared with Anya. As they made their way back to the apartment Clarke reached out for Lexa's hand which she willingly took hold of. They stayed that way the remainder of the 45 minute drive back to Lexa's apartment.
Once they arrived Lexa took Clarke to her bedroom and laid her down, Clarke was exhausted and fell asleep on the ride home. Lexa let her nap for a while and checked in on Raven once Clarke was asleep.
"How'd the meeting go?" Lexa asked
"Great, we did a lot of brain storming for future project, the marketing team already had some proposals for new logos for the apps to make them look a little more user friendly. Lexa is was amazing, we worked so well together."
"Great, I'm glad to hear it."
"How'd your day go?"
"I'm glad you asked. Clarke is at the apartment. I found her at some girls place, we fought and I think we're finally making progress in finding the old Clarke. She's sleeping right now. I was going to ask if you and Anya could stay at your place tonight, she still needs some time and I don't think it will be pretty."
"Is she okay?"
"She will be. I will make sure of that Raven."
"Thank you Lexa..."
The call ended.
A few hours later Clarke had woken up to Lexa reading beside her. She stretched her arm out under the covers and put her hand on Lexa's thigh. Truth is, Clarke missed Lexa for the last month they had been apart.
"Good morning." Lexa said softly looking Clarke in the eyes. It really was late in the afternoon though.
"Good morning. How long was I out for?"
"About 4 hours. I figured you needed the sleep."
Clarke nodded and made her way across the large king sized bed to rest her head in Lexa's lap, wrapping her body around the long tanned legs.
"I'm sorry you had to take care of me today." Clarke spoke while drawing circles on Lexa's bare thigh.
"We did it together Clarke. We got everything out, we both needed it."
"Why are you so amazing?"
"Hah, I don't think cussing you out in a parking lot classifies as amazing." Lexa chuckled
"I deserved it though, I've been an idiot for the last two months. You do that to me you know, make me feel everything all at once, like I want to punch you and kiss you all at the same time."
"I would prefer the latter more, but you do that to me too Clarke. We've always been each other's kryptonite."
"That's saying it nicely, but really Lex, I'm sorry."
"I told you, you don't have to apologize."
"I'm apologizing for you finding me at another woman's apartment.." Clarke said it like she was telling Lexa a secret.
"Oh that, well, I could have done without seeing it, but she'll never know you like I do. That's the only thing that kept me from putting my foot up her ass." Lexa chuckled trying to clear the air.
"I love you Lexa."
"I know Clarke, I love you too." Lexa lowered herself to get face level with Clarke's face, still letting the girl wrap herself up in Lexa. "You know we still have a lot to talk through and work on right?"
"I know, but I'm ready now. I've hated you for so long, I just want to stop."
"We'll do it together."
"Promise?" Clarke asked.
"I promise, baby."
"You're getting used to that again." Clarke's teased.
"Do you want me to stop?" Lexa looked concerned, like maybe she had over stepped a line.
"No, I like it. I missed it."
They stayed that way for a while, just talking about life for the last year. What they did, who they met and adventures they went on. It was comfortable conversation and they both were finally opening up about their feelings. A while later Lexa decided to order pizza for the two of them and they ate quickly while still talking about anything that came to mind. Clarke and Lexa retired to Lexa's bed once they had showered, separately. They just slept that night, cuddled up to one another. There weren't kisses exchanged or even questionable hand placement. They just slept in each other's arms, comforted in the fact that they were back again, becoming whole together.
Lexa woke first as usual. She smiled seeing Clarke sleeping peacefully on her chest, her arms wrapped around Lexa's torso and her leg draped over Lexa's waist. This was how Clarke always used to sleep with her and it reminded Lexa of fond memories, waking up next to the love of her life. She softly kiss Clarke's forehead and pull herself out from under the sleeping blonde. Clarke grunted at the loss of contact but curled up on herself and remained asleep.
Lexa moved herself into the kitchen preparing breakfast for her and Clarke. She turned on the coffee maker knowing Clarke was a monster without her morning cup. She finished preparing breakfast by the time she heard Clarke stirring about in the bedroom. Clarke came out in just a t-shirt and underwear, the same way she fell asleep. Her hair was a mess but she had clearly brushed her teeth due to the toothpaste stain down the front of her shirt.
"Good morning." Clarke said as she walked up behind Lexa wrapping her arms around the older brunette's stomach. "You weren't there when I woke up."
"Good morning" Lexa said handing Clarke her own cup of coffee. "I made breakfast, I figured you'd be hungry."
"You are amazing." Clarke said with a smile, taking a long sip of the fresh coffee. "Do you do this for all the girls? You cuss you out them turn into a ball of tears in your arms?" Clarke teased.
"Only the pretty ones." Lexa responded sweetly.
"Hey, I had an idea, if you're up for it." Lexa hummed at the proposition. "Well you're not working a ton right now right? And I just finished my last exhibit, so I'm free for a few more weeks. Maybe we go up to the lake house? Just us for a few days?"
"I like the sound of that. But don't you think you need to do something before we disappear for a week or more?" Lexa prompted.
"Yeah, I was hoping I'd see Raven here this morning, but I guess they stayed at our apartment last night, right?" Lexa nodded with a mischievous smile. "What did you do babe?" Clarke always got nervous when Lexa gave her that smile.
"They'll be here in 20 minutes... With Indra."
"LEXA! Oh my God! I look ridiculous! Ugh, I have to go get ready... You'll pay for this Woods." Clarke smirked at Lexa, pecking her on the cheek before she made her way back to the bedroom.
By the time Clarke emerged from the bedroom Lexa was opening the door for Anya and Raven, Indra would be coming over later. Now that Lexa wasn't in charge of Indra their relationship had turned into more of a friendship. Raven eyes Clarke first, making a point of not saying anything to the timid looking blonde. Anya had already put her arm protectively around Raven in case anything were to happen. Clarke shyly made her way to stand in front of her best friend.
"Hi." Clarke spoke softly.
"Hi." Raven responded simply.
"Can we um- maybe- uh talk? I mean if that's okay?" Clarke sounded like a scared child by this point. Anya almost laughed at the weak girl in front of her.
"Yeah, um.. Just give me a sec. I'll meet you in the bedroom." Raven said. Turning to Anya assuring her it was okay.
Clarke walked alone to Lexa's bedroom. Raven opened the fridge and poured a bottle of vodka into two tumblers with ice.
"Babe, it's 10am." Anya said hesitantly.
"Trust me, this will need vodka. I'll add OJ if that makes you feel better?" Raven said seriously.
"Okay..." Anya said, still nervous about Raven adding liquor to an already tense situation.
"There will be yelling, don't worry about it though. Oh and safe word is: Pomegranate... Just in case." Raven was still as serious as ever.
"Jesus Rae... You'll be fine." Lexa added from the kitchen island.
"Says the girl that let Clarke beat her for 20 minutes."
"Yeah, hopefully she got it out on me right?" Lexa laughed.
Raven ignored her statement and made her way to Lexa's bedroom with the two glasses. She opened the door to see Clarke sitting rigidly on the bed like she was expecting a lashing.
"I'm not going to beat you, though I'm sure you deserve it." Raven said simply handing the glass of what looked like orange juice. "There's vodka in that."
"I'm sorry Raven." Clarke said pathetically.
"For what? Being a selfish bitch or for not coming to the party?"
"For everything. For hurting you, and being selfish and for not coming." Clarke said somberly.
"Sorry isn't exactly going to cut it Clarke. I really needed you and you were too busy screwing some art model?"
"I just couldn't be around her. It was selfish and stupid and I'm sorry. I don't know how to make it up to you..?"
"So, you and Lexa again..?" Raven asked changing the topic.
"I mean, we're just getting back to normal. There's nothing really going on yet." Clarke admitted.
"So, this model or whatever, what was that and who is she?"
"Her name is Nylah, I don't know, she was just a distrac-"
"Are you fucking kidding Clarke?!" Raven was screaming now. Anya and Lexa looked at each other from the couch in the living room waiting for the code word.
"What? Why are you yelling?"
"Fucking Nylah!? My ex?! Fucking seriously?!" Raven was beat red. "You don't even fucking remember?!"
Clarke was thinking back, trying to remember Nylah anywhere in her past. Then she remembered and her face turned to a look of horror.
"Oh my god... I didn't even put it together. Oh fuck.. Oh my god! Raven... I'm so sorry! Oh my god." Clarke was in full blown shock now.
"Yeah, you better fucking explain real quick!" Raven still yelling but a bit softer. Nylah and Raven had met through the Internet, they both lived in New York but their schedules never lined up so they never met by the time Raven had decided to start talking to Anya. Nylah had asked to meet Raven at a bar after she decided to end it. Once at the bar Nylah threw a drink directly in Ravens face before she could even get a word out. Raven had a salty feeling ever since. Nylah was also the niece of Nia.
"Nia's niece..." Clarke whispered soft enough so Lexa didn't hear but also so it was a yell. "Oh my fucking God. What did I do?" Clarke was slowly losing it. "Fuck, we were so close to being okay, oh my God." Clarke's breathing was still increasing. She tried to get up off the bed and instantly fainted from lack of oxygen.
"HOLYYYY SHIT! CODE RED, CODE RED, HELP, THUNDER CATS ARE GO, FUCKKK. LEXAAA GET THE FUCK IN HERE!" Raven was screaming every code word she had heard in movies but couldn't remember the one she actually agreed to.
Anya, Lexa and Indra came sprinting into the room just as Clarke was waking.
"What the fuck did you do to her?" Lexa ask Raven while rushing to Clarke's side. "You knocked her out? What the fuck Raven?!" Lexa was looking Clarke over before she waved her off.
"I fainted." Clarke said quietly.
"Fainted why? Are you okay?" Lexa questioned calming a bit "By the way, it was pomegranate, dumb ass." Lexa threw back at Raven.
"Well if Clarke hadn't slept with your cousin it would have never been needed!" Raven threw out.
"My cousin...?" Lexa looked questioningly at Anya. "We don't have any cousins Rae..."
"Maybe not by blood, but Nylah is Nia's niece." Raven said.
"Raven!" Clarke protested the brunette's admission.
"Oh my god.. I knew her name sounded familiar." Lexa said.
"I'm so sorry Lexa, do you hate me again? I swear to god I didn't make the connection. I never met her I only heard about her.." Clarke said emphatically. "And Rae, I promise you I had no idea. I didn't even correlate the name."
"It's okay Clarke. I over reacted." Raven said softly
"I could never hate you Clarke." Lexa said kindly.
Everyone ended up calming down after Clarke had fainted. They laughed and joked for hours. Clarke felt like everything was falling back into place. Raven had forgiven her, mainly due to the pure comedy of the story she could go tell her other friends about. Octavia and Lincoln had come over sometime in the afternoon and things just finally felt right. Lexa didn't voice it but she was nervous about the Nylah situation. Not because of Clarke's romance with her, but more due to Nia. The night wore on and everyone wished Clarke and Lexa goodbye since they'd be leaving for the lake house in the morning.