As always,
THEMoDePo: Well, Blaine is not exactly okay... he just wasn't bitten, but he's in a very serious condition anyway. And don't worry, Cooper will appear, just be patient! I'm tempted to make him appear sooner than planned too because I miss him so much, but I should stick to the plot! now you have more ;) Thank you so much!
Darrinia: Well, Sam WAS going to kill Blaine, he just realized it wasn't necessary, not a minute too soon! Of course Sammy will take care of him, but it's not an easy situation... OMG, I love it so much that i'm still able to surprise you then! Thank you so much! Un besazo, guapísima!
Midlifecrissis: I totally live for your reviews, did you know that? :) Of course Sam couldn't just leave him there, even if the thought he couldn't save him he didn't want him to die like that... Yeah, I know Puck was being a bit annoyed, but he was only trying to protect Sam, he didn't really understand what Sam was going through in a moment like that. And yes, about time Sam admitted his feelings! Don't worry, there are no more injuries from the fall, the rubbish skips stopped it! OMG, I don't know if it's weird or not, but I so looooove that you think about the story all the time. I do too :) Thank you so much, honey!
Misz: Cooper is relatively close to appear, don't worry! Thank you so much!
Me-me157: Yeah, I know, getting shot is pretty serious too, though still better than being bitten. OMG, can you imagine if Sam had really killed him? That would have been pretty awful. I guess Puck knows about Sam not giving up on Blaine, he just... wanted to protect his friend. But I think he learnt his lesson ;) Yeah, poor Mike, I feel guilty for doing that to him... He's really a good guy, and if he thought he could help Blaine of course he didn't hesitate to do it, even if he was grieving... And yeah, of course Blaine has gone through more than any of the others (and the things that haven't happened yet!), but I can't help it, I love hurt/comfort from Sam to Blaine, is my undoing! XD Thank you so much, sweetie!
CHAPTER 19
Sam sighed with relief as Puck carefully deposited Blaine next to him on the bus seat and he could put his arms around him again. Of course he hadn't wanted to let go of him for even one second, but the bus –and especially its stairs– was narrow enough so that he couldn't get in it with Blaine in his arms, so Puck and Sebastian grabbed him from the inside and waited until Sam was comfortably sitting on one of the seats to give him back to him, knowing he was not going to accept anything else. After all, Blaine was still unconscious so he couldn't sit up on his own, and the seats weren't big enough for him to lie down, so for Sam to hold him upright was probably the best solution anyway.
His arms immediately closed around the smaller boy, who was perched on Sam's chest, and Sam kissed the top of his head comfortingly before he was even aware of it, glad to feel his warmth again. After being sure he was going to lose him, Sam knew it was going to be a long time before he would stop needing the physical reassurance that Blaine was still alive. But that gave him the option to embrace him and hold him close to his heart, which he knew was comforting to them both, so he guessed it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. When Blaine woke up he knew they would need to talk a lot of things through, and things would need to change from how they were. But that was what Sam wanted the most in the world now, anyway, and he would give Blaine anything he wanted, because that's what he deserved. And because Sam wanted exactly the same he did, now that he had admitted to himself that he loved him with all his heart.
"I think maybe we just assumed too quickly that this is everything there is now" he heard Puck say, and he wondered if they had been talking about their destination for a long while as he daydreamed about being able to tell Blaine that he loved him.
"What do you mean?" Artie asked after Jake also helped him to his seat.
"I mean that we have no idea how far this virus, or whatever the hell this is, arrived. Maybe staying in a place is a mistake. Maybe we should just keep travelling until we walk out of this nightmare"
"But…" Sam tried to interrupt: they had promised to take care of Blaine, and travelling was not an option for him in his state.
"I mean after Blaine gets well, of course" Puck rushed to reassure him. "I think we should find a house or something and stay there for a while, and once Blaine and everybody else who is hurt are well enough to travel we should find our way… or at least try"
"I don't know, Puck" Artie answered, sharing his doubts. "Is there any sense in that? Travelling is dangerous, why do it when we can be safe and sound in one place?"
"We are never going to be safe and sound, Artie" Puck protested, noticing the sadness in most of the other's eyes when they realized he was right. "We were on a prison and we were attacked, for God's sake!"
"It doesn't have to happen again" Brittany, always the optimistic, intervened.
"But it might" Puck tried to make them see. "We're not safe anywhere, and the sooner we accept that, all the better"
"So why do you want to travel, if we're not going to be safe anyway?" Artie insisted.
"Because we need to make sure this is everything there is now" Puck answered reasonably, and he could see he was getting everyone convinced. "Maybe we just haven't gone far enough yet. We haven't even left Lima and we assume this is everything there is? We have no idea"
"And if there is someone out there still living in a civilized country why aren't they coming to get us?" Artie asked, even if he could his arguments were getting poorer by the second.
"What if they think there are no survivors?" Puck asked in return. "Or what if they're trying not for this to spread any further? Maybe they haven't found the way to make it safe for them to enter the affected area, I don't know. I only know we cannot be sure until we check"
"That's what Blaine said" Sam intervened unexpectedly, surprising everybody because they thought he was so absorbed looking after the boy in his arms that he wasn't following the conversation. "When I woke up from the coma and I wanted to stay at that house where we spent the first night, he said that we couldn't just wait for things to get better, that we needed to do whatever it took to survive"
"Exactly" Puck quickly agreed, glad that Sam was agreeing with him even if he was angry at him at the moment for the way he had given up on Blaine too easily. "And when has Blaine been wrong so far?"
"Alright" Artie finally relented, knowing there was no other argument to refute Sam and Puck's –and indirectly Blaine's– arguments, even if he didn't like the idea of travelling constantly that much. "If you all agree I will do it"
"But only once Blaine is 100% recovered" Sam felt obliged to remind everyone –Puck specifically, while looking intently at him.
"Of course" Puck rushed to agree, feeling guilty at how he had obviously lost Sam's trust while trying to look out for him.
"So shall we get going?" Marley asked, not wanting to stay in the place where they had lost so much longer than necessary.
Everybody stood still in their places, waiting for the others to move, and it was only a minute after that they realized why: they were waiting for their driver, and Tina had been the one to drive the bus when they came to the prison from McKinley after the school was attacked. Sam's heart went to Mike, who seemed to be getting smaller by the minute as he sunk further down on the front seat, away from everyone else, and he would have jumped to the driver's seat himself to put an end to the situation if Blaine wasn't lying against his chest and in such a need to be looked after.
Fortunately, Santana also read the situation very quickly and left Brittany's side to pass by Mike and gently squeeze his shoulder as she went to take the driver's place, like she had already done on their trip to the supermarket where they had lost Ryder.
"So what's the destination?" she said in the most cheerful voice she could muster, given the circumstances.
"We should go to a supermarket" Unique suggested. "That way we would have everything we need at all times"
"It's not a good idea" Sam answered, only mildly surprised that Mike wasn't taking part of the conversation, as next to Blaine he was always the one to offer the most useful and intelligent points of view about their possible movements. "Anybody that pass it by could try and break into it for supplies. We need something discreet and safe"
"What about the fancy mansions at the outskirts of the town?" Kitty suggested. "They're big enough for all of us and are bound to have more supplies than more modest houses"
"I think it's a good idea" Puck agreed, after thinking for a minute. "We'll see if we can find one of them which isn't locked so we don't have to break any windows"
"Ok, so let's go, fasten your seatbelts, people" Santana joked as she turned the ignition on.
It was not a really long trip, but it would take a little while, so Sam rested his back on the seat and made himself comfortable at the same time that he brought Blaine's body more closely to his chest, feeling physically incapable of losing contact with him even for one second, as if he needed to make sure he was still breathing at any time. Sam hated the fact that, even after everything he had been through, Blaine still couldn't be left to rest, and he had to be travelling when that was clearly the last thing he needed. He hadn't made a sound since Mike had cleaned his wound with alcohol, and there were no traces of consciousness on him anymore. And given how they had gotten rid of his bloody sweater and his wound or the bandage covering couldn't be seen through the hoodie he was wearing now, it would almost look as if he was just sleeping, if it wasn't for the flush of his cheeks or the paleness of the rest of his skin. And how said skin seemed to be getting gradually warmer with each passing minute.
Sam's relief at the fact that Blaine had not been bitten as they had feared at the first moment was starting to vanish at how it seemed that the smaller boy was very far from being out of the woods yet. Getting shot was not small deal in the best of circumstances; getting shot with no doctors, no medicines, no sterilized environment and having to travel was surely very dangerous. And yes, he knew Blaine was strong –probably the strongest person he had ever known–, but even he had a limit.
Looking down at his peaceful face, Sam couldn't help but smile at how much his own purple hoodie suited him. He chuckled to himself at how much Blaine adored that piece of clothing, and how he had stolen from him more than a couple of times, even before they became an issue. It looked too big on him, of course, but that just made him look all the more adorable to Sam's eyes. And it reassured him to see it on Blaine, as it made him feel as if the smaller boy was still a bit his. As if he hadn't ruined everything that was good between them with his insecurities and his fears. As if he and Blaine had always belonged together, as it should be.
"I'm sorry, babe" he apologized again with tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall as a punishment to himself, as he squeezed Blaine more strongly to his chest and kissed his forehead with a silent promise to take care of himself, now and after he recovered. Forever.
"You stay here" Puck got him out of his reverie, suddenly at their side, and one look through one of the windows in the bus told Sam they had already reached their destination. "Close the doors and we'll get you both and Artie when we've picked a house and it's safe for you to go out"
"Ok" Sam immediately agreed –he would have never accepted it for himself, but he would gladly do anything to keep Blaine out of danger–.
"And Trent, there is no way I'm letting you out there with that foot unless it's absolutely necessary" Sebastian said, making Sam smile in spite of himself, as the tall guy was almost as strict with the people he cared about as he was himself.
"But Seb, it was only a wrong movement, it barely hurts anymore" Trent protested, trying to get up until Sebastian pushed him down on his seat, not taking no for an answer.
"Mike, why don't you stay with them?" Puck suggested as he laid a gentle hand on the other's shoulder, apparently taking him back to Earth as he had been lost in his own thoughts. "Someone needs to keep an eye on these guays in case something happens, and Sam will have his hands full with Blaine"
"Sure" Mike answered after a couple of seconds of trying to understand what he was being said, Sam noticed as his heart broke for him.
All the others went outside, Sam observed through the window, to decide which one of the houses around would be the most appropriate to live in until they resumed their travelling. Trent and Artie were also concentrated on looking outside as they kept a light conversation, so Sam thought it would be a good time for him to try and approach Mike again about his feelings. And since moving was not an option –given Blaine was resting against him and he didn't want to move him more than what was absolutely necessary–, he would have to bring Mike to them.
"Mike?" he called him in a mildly loud voice so only him would react to it. "Could you come, please? I think Blaine is getting worse"
Mike immediately obeyed and rose from his seat, and Sam felt guilty for a second about manipulating him, even if he had the best of intentions.
"His fever is rising" Sam continued, unfortunately not lying, once Mike reached their position and sat on the seat immediately in front of them, turning around to them.
"Yes, I'm afraid it is" Mike answered with a sigh after his hand made contact with Blaine's forehead for a second so he could feel it himself. "It might be just the shock of the shot or he might be getting an infection" Mike explained, trying not to alarm Sam too much with the options he was giving him. "But don't worry too much, we'll check the wound next time we change his bandages"
"And what if it's infected?" Sam couldn't stop himself from asking, forgetting for a second about the real reason he had called on Mike for.
"We'll cross that bridge when we have to" Mike tried to reassure him with a pat to his shoulder before he started to leave again, but Sam stopped him first.
"Mike…" he said, but he immediately could see how Mike had read his intentions to get him to talk about his loss.
"Sam, I asked you not to" Mike said with a serious, almost angry, expression.
"I know, but…"
"Thank you, Sam, really, I know you only worry about me but… I need to deal with this on my own" he said before his eyes involuntarily moved to Blaine's unconscious form and the ferocious grip Sam was keeping on him. "I'm sure you, of all people, can understand that"
"Yeah" Sam was forced to admit as his gaze also moved to Blaine's face and his thoughts went to how he would be feeling if he had lost Blaine the way Mike had lost Tina.
"Then just let it go" Mike pleaded. "I'll be alright"
"But if you need anything or someone to talk to…" Sam insisted, feeling horrible that he didn't know how to help his friend. He wished Blaine was awake, he was much better with words and feelings than he was –hadn't he proved that with their relationship?–, but he wasn't, and Sam would need to make sure someone was there for Mike when he needed it.
"I'll come find you when that time comes" Mike answered, even if it didn't sound as if he was really going to do it.
"Ok" Sam was forced to surrender, knowing there was nothing he could do for him unless Mike wanted him to.
Mike didn't have the time to return to his seat before Puck, Sebastian and Santana appeared again in the bus.
"We found the perfect house" Puck announced in a happy tone. "Small windows, only two entrances and it wasn't even locked"
"And it's big enough so that we all can be together but we don't have to be over each other all the time" Sebastian added, looking knowingly at Sam as if to tell him that he knew the blond was indeed going to be all over Blaine all the time anyway, but the latter didn't get it or just decided to ignore it.
"We're going to take the bus to the back of the house" Santana added, already sitting on the driver's seat and turning the engine on. "That way it won't be as visible and anybody coming this way won't immediately know there is people inside the house. Besides, we will be closer to the house so it will be easier to get Blaine inside"
"Thank you, guys" Sam gratefully said, knowing they were taking a lot of trouble just to make sure Blaine was alright.
"You don't have to thank us" Sebastian immediately answered, not bothering to sit as they were already reaching their destination. "You know we all love little Blainey"
Sam looked quizzically at Sebastian for a second, not really knowing how to answer to that, as a very familiar feeling of jealousy rose in his stomach. What was Sebastian implying? That Blaine was a dear friend or… that he felt something for him? Of course it didn't mean that Blaine would reciprocate his feelings if that was the case, but still… Sam didn't like anybody meddling in their relationship, especially before he had had the chance to mend it. And he would have to ask Sebastian sometime about his intentions with Blaine.
Santana parked the bus as hidden amongst some trees as she was able before Sam had the time to dwell any longer on Sebastian's feelings for Blaine, and Puck immediately went to him to help him with the injured boy.
"Can I take him from you to help you or are you going to bite me?" Puck joked, hoping to get Sam in a lighter mood, but the blond was not yet ready to joke around and just nodded his approval as he hurried to the bus' door so he could go down the stairs and Blaine would go back to the arms he belonged to.
Puck and Sebastian took Blaine between them and moved him down the aisle of the bus and into Sam's waiting arms. But Sam hadn't taken a good grip on him yet when a hand on his shoulder scared the life out of him and almost made him drop Blaine to the floor.
"What the hell…?" he exclaimed as he tried to recover, gratefully accepting Sebastian's help to comfortably keep Blaine in his arms again before he fell, his heart skipping a beat at the fact that Blaine could have been injured even further.
"You!" Sam heard Mike yell behind him, and when Blaine was secure in his arms again he turned around, just to discover the man that had threatened Blaine and Sebastian at the fence of their prison two days before the attack standing there.
The man seemed to be injured too, as he had two different blood stains that quite probably were bullet wounds. He was pale and shaking, and he was obviously too weak to be a threat. But Mike didn't take pity on him, and he pushed him away from Sam and Blaine and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket to press him against the bus.
"Please, guys, you need to help me" the man said, and Sam couldn't believe his cold blood at asking them for help after what he and his friends had cost them. "I know you're good people, you wouldn't leave an injured man to die like this, right?"
"What the hell are you doing here?" Mike asked, practically spitting every word, so great was the anger he was trying to conceal.
"Those bastards said that I was a lost cause and that I would only slow them down so they threw me out of the van on their way" the man explained, and he seemed to be having trouble even to talk, especially as Mike was practically chocking him. "I didn't want to hurt you, guys, they made me, you have to believe me"
"Bullshit" Mike said as he violently pushed the man against the bus before letting go of him so he ended sliding down to the floor.
"Let's go, Mike" Sam said, and just that once he wished he wasn't carrying Blaine in his arms so he could physically take Mike away from there.
"Don't go, boys!" the man said before they could move. "You're good people, you wouldn't let an injured man die like that, right?"
"Watch us" Puck said as he rested a hand on the upper part of Mike's back and gently pushed him away from that horrible man.
"If you leave me here like that you will be no better than those guys!" the man shouted at their retreating backs. "Come on, it wasn't me who killed any of your friends! Are you really going to leave me here to be devoured by those monsters?"
"No" Mike angrily answered before he quickly turned around again and in one swift movement got his gun out of the waistband of his jeans and shot the man in the head before anyone else could react.
"Mike" Puck said in astonishment as he tried to take the gun from his hands, afraid of any other stunt he could pull.
But Mike seemed to be as surprised as anybody else, and he let go of his weapon without a fight when Puck motioned for it. His gaze seemed empty and lost until he raised it to find Sam's, and the blond could see a desperation in his eyes to be understood, to be absolved of a crime he had committed before even being aware of it. And Sam knew he was the only one in the position to do it, as he was the only one in a similar situation.
"It's okay, Mike" Sam said with a gentle nod of his head in complete understanding, realizing he would have probably done the same if Blaine wasn't alive in his arms in that precise moment. "Let's go inside. We all need some rest"
Of course the shot alerted all the youngsters already inside, who quickly ran into the backyard to see if everyone was okay.
"What happened?" Brittany yelled, even if she sighed in relief at noticing that everybody seemed to be alright.
"Nothing, everything's okay" Sam said as he started going towards the door, suddenly impatient to get Blaine comfortable and out of the cold, but he lowered his voice to whisper something in Kitty's ear as he passed her by. "Get that man out of sight, please"
"Sure" Kitty immediately agreed even if she wasn't sure about what had happened, though the way that Puck was gently leading Mike, who looked so lost, towards the door spoke volumes about the situation.
Sam tried to forget about what had just happened as he entered the house and he immediately focused his attention on the wonderful couch in the middle of the living room, where he gently left Blaine, as his arms were starting to tingle with fatigue in spite of how light the injured boy seemed to be.
"It looks like a nice place" Sebastian said as he helped Trent to one of the armchairs, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere after what had happened at the backyard. "Should we call on the rooms upstairs? 'Cause I'm calling the biggest one"
"I think we should just camp here, downstairs" Sam intervened, ignoring Sebastian's poor attempt of humor as he took a blanket that was resting on the backrest of the couch and tenderly covered Blaine with it.
"Why?" Puck said from his place next to Mike, not ready to let go of him just yet.
"When Blaine and I were in that house the first night out of the hospital he said that it was safer to stay downstairs, because that way you would hear immediately if someone was trying to get in" Sam explained as he looked at his sleeping friend's face with a lot of admiration in his eyes. "On the second floor you would just get caught unawares, and then you would have no escape"
"It sounds reasonable" Puck had to agree. "We can always get some mattresses downstairs and get comfortable around here"
"He also put pots and pans in every door and window so they would make a lot of noise if they managed to enter, even though he had previously blocked any entrance with some furniture" Sam explained, his fingers moving to get lost in Blaine's curls in a gentle caress without him even being aware of it.
"I'm not surprised he managed to keep you both alive for so long with so many brilliant ideas" Puck said with admiration and a fond smile that was not reciprocated by Sam.
"Yeah, but that's what he is. He's a survivor, after all" Sam answered, looking judgingly at Puck until he made the latter feel guilty all over again for doubting him.
"Well, then let's get started getting everything ready so we can all have a rest" Santana suggested, feeling some kind of unresolved issues between the two friends even if she didn't know what they were about. "Everybody who is not injured or taking care of the injured better lend a hand or they'll have me to answer to"
Everybody got lost around the house while doing different tasks to make their stay as comfortable as possible: getting makeshift beds ready, preparing lunch, making inventory of the supplies they had… They knew being busy was the best way to keep their sad minds occupied, so nobody complained about it.
Sam felt bad for not helping as much as he should, but at the same time he didn't want to leave Blaine alone in case he woke up –the last thing he wanted was for Blaine to wake up terrified and in pain only to find himself alone–, so in the end he contented himself with doing things around the living room, like reorganizing the furniture to make room for the mattresses, sealing up the windows with wooden planks or taking a look in every single cabinet to see if he could find something that could prove useful.
"We brought those mattresses for you both, Sam" Jake said, getting his attention as he and Unique finished getting a couple of perfectly good and comfortable mattresses down the stairs. "We thought you should take the office next to the kitchen. It has a fireplace and that could come useful if we need to keep Blaine warm while he recovers. Plus I think Blaine could use some quiet while he is sick, right?"
"Thank you, guys" Sam honestly answered, glad that they would have some privacy while Blaine recovered, as there was little space on that office he had already visited and he knew no one else would ask to share with them. That way Sam would be able to take care of him while injured and make it up to him for how wrongly he had acted once he was okay.
He gently took Blaine in his arms once again, feeling reassured at the familiarity of Blaine's weight against his chest, and followed the others towards said office, where he laid Blaine down as soon as the other two left the mattresses on the floor.
"You need some help with him?" Unique kindly offered, but Sam refused with a grateful smile.
"No, thank you" he answered as he made Blaine more comfortable on his new bed. "I can take it from here. Though if you could find some pillows and blankets…"
"Of course" Unique immediately agreed with a smile before she left the room after Jake.
"So? Do you like our new room?" Sam asked as he sat down next to Blaine's unmoving form and picked his hand in both of his, acting as if they were just having a conversation because it was the only way he could find to stop himself from breaking into tears at all the guilt and worry and sorrow he was feeling. "It is more beautiful than the last one for sure, isn't it? Though we're back to the mattresses on the floor, are we never going to earn the right for a real bed or what?"
Sam chuckled to himself, imagining Blaine's dorky laugh at his comment. But he wasn't awake to laugh, and before that he had felt too hurt and betrayed to laugh, anyway, and Sam wondered for a moment if he would have the chance to enjoy Blaine's laugh again.
"You don't mind sharing with me, right? You're not angry at me anymore, aren't you? Someone needs to look after you, and I'm not letting anyone else do it, you very well know that" Sam said with a smile as his hand moved once again to play with the curls on Blaine's forehead in a gesture that had become second nature to them. "But don't worry, as soon as you wake up I will tell you how much I love you and how sorry I am and you'll have to forgive me, right? I'm counting on your big heart for that and we both know you're too kind for your own good"
"Sam?" Puck whispered as he knocked on the open door and poked his head around it, involuntarily interrupting Sam's tirade as he brought some sheets and blankets for him. "I heard you needed these"
"Thank you" Sam answered coldly as he took the linens from Puck's hands from his place in the bed, but he was surprised when the latter didn't go away once his task was finished. "Look, if you're here to tell me again how Blaine is not going to make it…"
"No, of course not" Puck immediately denied, and Sam noticed he was really making an effort to be positive. "I wanted to apologize for… giving up on Blaine so easily. I've wanted to do it all day. I've seen this little guy in action before, after all. I should have known he was not going to surrender so easily"
"Yes, you should have" Sam agreed, trying not to smile at the fondness on Puck's voice when he called Blaine little guy –as it was pretty obvious that he cared very deeply for him too.
"I was… just trying to protect you, you know? I didn't want you to suffer more than necessary" Puck tried to justify himself, even though he could see now that that had been precisely his mistake: trying to protect Sam when the only thing Sam wanted was to protect Blaine.
"I know. And that's the only reason I'm going to forgive you" Sam said in a warmer tone this time, not feeling the need to remain angry at one of his best friends anymore. "But if you ever doubt Blaine's endurance again…"
"I won't" Puck answered as he raised his hands in front of him in an act of surrender until he made Sam smile and he knew he was really forgiven.
Puck, happy at having recovered his bro, didn't need an invitation and let himself fall on the mattress at Blaine's feet, carefully so as not to jostle the injured boy.
"How is he?" he asked, honestly worried.
"As well as can be expected, I guess" Sam answered, not really wanting to go into how his fever was rising or how terrified he was that he would never wake up again.
"And how are you?"
"Much better now that I know he is going to be alright" Sam answered, and even if Puck thought he was probably being too optimistic, he refrained from saying anything this time.
"Good" he answered this time, before his gaze got lost in Blaine's peaceful face. "Gosh, I really thought he had been bitten"
"Me too" Sam agreed, his body shaking involuntarily at the reminder of the feeling of thinking Blaine was doomed. "And he wouldn't even have been hurt if it wasn't for me"
"What do you mean? You say that because he was there to save us?" Puck asked, surprised he hadn't realized Sam was feeling guilty about Blaine's injury until that moment.
"No. I know nothing could have kept him away if there was the tiniest chance for him to save our lives"
"Then?"
"I couldn't save him" Sam lamented, feeling the by now familiar sting of tears in his eyes that he again refused to shed. "I wasn't fast enough… When I saw that man about to kill Blaine I shot at him, but I wasn't fast enough. If I had killed that man only a second sooner he would have never gotten the chance to shoot at Blaine and he wouldn't have been hurt"
"You know you saved his life, right?" Puck said, being completely honest even if he only wanted to make Sam feel better.
"How?" Sam asked, angrily drying some stray tear from his cheek that he hadn't been able to stop.
"You saw what a good shoot that man was, didn't you?" Puck explained. "You think he would have missed his shot from that distance and just injury Blaine on his shoulder instead of killing him if you hadn't hit him? You stopped him from killing Blaine, Sam, you saved his life"
"You really think so?" Sam asked, desperate to believe Blaine's being in the brink of death wasn't his fault.
"Of course" Puck reassured him. "If anything, you should be proud of yourself. And I'm sure Blaine will tell you that himself once he wakes up"
Sam nodded gratefully before drying the rest of the tears from his cheeks, only slightly embarrassed that Puck had seen him breaking down like that. But only one look at Puck's reassuring smile and Sam knew his friend understood.
"I should probably go back to my duties now, before Santana starts bitching about how lazy and selfish I am" Puck said as he rose to his feet, wanting to give Sam some space to deal with his battered emotions –though it was also true that he was afraid of Santana. "Take care of him, you hear me?"
"I will" Sam promised as he gratefully smiled at his friend.
Hours went by and Blaine showed no sign of recovering consciousness or getting any better. On the contrary, his fever seemed to be getting higher, he was starting to sweat and his skin looked paler by the second. Sam had checked on the wounds a couple of times, and while the one on his back didn't show any complications, the one on the front seemed more angry-looking around the edges and it seemed to be radiating heat, though there were no signs of pus and it didn't smell funny –at least not yet–. If it was becoming infected only time would tell. But Sam was not an idiot, and he knew that the chances of such a wound recovering nicely without infection in a situation like that –with no medicines, no sterilized instruments, no doctors– were pretty slim.
The thought of leaving the room even for a minute hadn't even crossed his mind –even if some of the guys had come and gone during the afternoon and tried to lure him to give it a rest– and he was now lying on the mattress next to Blaine, on his side with an arm around Blaine's waist, hoping that Blaine would feel somehow that he was not alone and he would fight harder to survive. And that's how Sebastian found them a while later when he came to check on the patient.
"Hey" he said, his lips breaking into a smile at the tenderness of the scene.
"Hey" Sam answered as he politely sat up for his guest.
"Do you want some supper? Unique is making sandwiches for everybody" Sebastian offered, as he knew Sam hadn't gotten out of the room for the whole day –which meant he hadn't taken a bite for the whole day too.
"No, thank you. I'm not really hungry" Sam unsurprisingly refused as he tiredly rubbed on his eyes.
"You should eat something, Sam"
"And I will, just… later"
"How is he?" Sebastian asked, not needing to specify who he was referring to as both gazes turned inevitably to Blaine.
"He's burning up with a fever" Sam lamented, slightly shaking his head with frustration as he was quickly losing the strength to pretend to be positive. "Mike said it could just be the shock, but I think he's getting an infection"
"Yeah, Mike mentioned it, so I brought some cold water and cloths to make compresses so we can cool him down" Sebastian said as he settled the washbowl that he was carrying –and that Sam hadn't noticed until then– on the floor and sat on the edge on the mattress, next to Blaine's unmoving form. "It's a shame we don't have ice, but the water is cold enough, I guess"
"You think that will make a difference?" Sam asked, his voice a mixture of hope and despondency that broke Sebastian's heart.
"I don't know" Sebastian admitted while he soaked one for the cloths in the cold water and brought it to rest on Blaine's warm forehead. "But we're not going to lose hope, ok? If someone can beat this, that is him. Right, Killer?" he asked with a smile as his eyes turned again to his unconscious friend.
They both fell into silence for a moment, each lost in their own feelings about the boy lying silent between them. Sam observed the tenderness which with Sebastian took the cloth again in his hand and wiped it all around Blaine's face and neck, trying to cool his burning skin down and not for the first time he wondered what was going on between him and the boy who held his own heart. But he had nothing to lose anymore, and when he felt the jealousy returning to his stomach at the scene, he couldn't help himself from asking.
"Sebastian, I need to ask you" Sam started in what he hoped didn't sound as a threatening voice. After all, he didn't want to start a fight or reproach him for anything; he honestly only wanted to know. "Do you have feelings for Blaine?"
"What?" Sebastian exclaimed, honestly surprised at the unexpected and direct question.
"Those last few days… were you trying to take him away from me?" Sam insisted, not caring about blowing up his own secret because he more than suspected that Sebastian was very aware of it.
"I think you were doing a great job with that yourself" Sebastian answered with a smile, only half joking.
"He told you?" Sam asked, slightly surprised that Blaine had confided in his friend after all, although he couldn't really blame him after all the pain he had put him through.
"No, and not because I didn't try to get it out of him! He didn't want to betray you, but I'm not blind"
"Okay, listen…"
"No, you listen" Sebastian interrupted him, not caring about sounding too harsh because he really needed to make a point. "There is nothing between Blaine and me besides a nice friendship. I love him with all my heart, I really do, but I'm not in love with him. And what's more important, he's not in love with me either. Come on, even you can see he only has eyes for you! Do you know how he hurt his hands? Trying to break a hole through the wall so he could get to you"
Sam gasped about that new bit of information: with all the drama with the shot and how they had thought he had been bitten, he had completely forgotten about his battered hands. His heart aching with love for that wonderful human being, Sam picked one of Blaine's hands to check that what Sebastian was saying was true, and then he strongly held it between his own, moved to no end about how much Blaine loved him in spite of how little he deserved it.
"The thing is: is he as important to you as you are to him?" Sebastian pointedly asked, getting him out of his reverie, and Sam marveled at how much he had been able to guess about his situation with Blaine.
"I…" Sam tried to explain, but Sebastian didn't want to hear it.
"It's not me you owe an explanation to" he gently stopped him, not wanting to invade Blaine's privacy before he had had the chance to mend his relationship with Sam. "I'm leaving now with Trent, he was not lying when he said he wasn't really injured, so we'll try to find some antibiotic for Blaine somewhere so he can fight infection. We are not going to let him die, are we?"
"No" Sam immediately denied, grateful beyond words that Sebastian and Trent would risk their own lives like that for Blaine. "But it's too dangerous"
"We'll be careful" Sebastian promised. "I think it's safer to do in the dark, so I should get going" Sebastian explained as he got up from the floor and turned to go, but he turned to Sam again before leaving, wanting him to reassure him that it was going to be alright. "Sam, Blaine will wake up and then you'll be able to fix… whatever the hell you did. And you will make him the happiest man alive"
"No" Sam contradicted him, surprising Sebastian for a second until he explained himself. "Because that will be me"
Sebastian chuckled at his answer and nodded in agreement.
"We'll bring him some medicines" Sebastian promised as he went.
"Sebastian?" Sam called him before he was entirely out of the room. "Thanks"
"Don't thank me. We all want him to get well" Sebastian answered with a warm smile that was immediately reciprocated before he left the room and Sam was left to his own thoughts once again.
"So you were right in the end, weren't you?" Sam said as he turned to his lover's unmoving form. "Sebastian was just a friend, a great friend. I don't know why I am surprised, though, you're always right. But I'm warning you, I'll deny having said that if you ever ask"
Talking and joking with Blaine, even if he wasn't able to answer –or even listen to him, Sam was very aware of that– was the only thing keeping Sam sane. The guilt and the worry were eating him, and he only hoped that Sebastian and Trent would be alright and that they would find something to help Blaine.
Not wanting for him to dehydrate, Sam carefully drove a hand under Blaine's back and lifted him enough so that he could try getting some water into him from a plastic bottle Marley had previously brought to him from the kitchen.
"Here you are, sweetie" Sam said as he neared the bottle to Blaine's lips. "Now be a good boy and try to swallow some water. It's been hours since the last time you drank something"
Very slowly –afraid he would choke– Sam let a small trickle of water fall through Blaine's partially opened lips and he thought he could cry as he noticed Blaine instinctively swallowing.
"That's it, babe" he gratefully said with a fond smile while tenderly squeezing Blaine's upper body to his chest. "You did great"
Once he was sure Blaine had had enough water for the time being –and trying not to think of how they would get nourishment into him if he remained unconscious for too long–, he put the bottle aside and let Blaine's head rest on his lap as he sat against the wall, not ready yet to lose contact with him. That way he could easily reach him while he followed Sebastian's advice about cooling him down with the water and they could stay connected, exactly what Sam needed.
Careful so as not to bother his wound, Sam unzipped Blaine's hoodie –his hoodie, Sam reminded himself as he fondly smiled at how long and adorable the sleeves looked on Blaine's arms– and soaked one of the cloths to wet Blaine's neck and chest with it, careful so as not to wet Blaine's bandage. He didn't know if those actions were going to change anything, but at least they made him feel as if he was helping, as if he was taking care of Blaine as the smaller boy deserved.
"So are you going to stop being so stubborn any time soon and start talking or am I going to have to wait much longer?" Sam joked as his hand tenderly made his way around Blaine's torso with the damp cloth, resuming his one-sided conversation. "I'm bored out of my head here, you know? How you managed not to go crazy those two weeks you stayed at the hospital with me is beyond me. I've barely been a few hours watching you sleep and I can't stand the silence anymore! 'Cause you know, you're usually a pretty noisy guy, you know? Either if it's talking, or singing or playing your piano or whatever, but silence doesn't really suite you, you know? And believe me, I know, our history goes back a long time now! How long we've known each other? Two and a half years, give or take?"
Sam smiled in spite of himself as he reminisced about everything that had happened between Blaine and him along the years and that had brought them to the point they were now.
"I remember the first time Kurt introduced you to us New Directions, and I thought 'wow, what a beautiful guy, Kurt surely struck lucky!' Yeah, I know, I was as surprised as you are, I had never thought that about a guy before" Sam continued with a chuckle, pretending he was having a conversation with the other boy because it made him feel closer to him. "In my defense I'll say you are, indeed, really beautiful, anyone can see that. I mean, even someone like Puck would have to admit it. Not that I'm going to ask him, because I don't really like other guys looking at you the way I look at you. I can't help it, I'm jealous like that, apparently. I had never been a jealous person before, but that's probably because I had never felt something like this for anyone before either"
Sam sighed before he was able to stop it, his heart feeling so heavy with sorrow that sometimes he felt as if he couldn't breathe. The cold cloth in his hand moved to Blaine's forehead as Sam's hand gently caressed his flushed face, hoping he would be at least giving Blaine some relieve from all his suffering.
"And I know it's my fault, but… I miss you, Blaine. So much" Sam continued, not so lightly anymore. "It feels like we've been apart for ages instead of just a couple of days… You know what I miss the most? Your laugh. You know how I told you your smile can light a whole room? Well, your laugh can warm the coldest of hearts. And when all this shit started, I thought I'd never hear you laugh again. But then we got to the prison, and we created that illusion that we were safe, and then we happened and… I don't think I've ever seen you that happy. The first thing I saw each morning was your smile, whether you were awake or not. Did you know that you smile in your sleep? And then I just needed to say any stupidity and you would be laughing like an idiot. And that was probably my favorite moment of the day, seeing you so relaxed and at ease and… so you. And I miss it so much… I obviously miss your kisses too. And everything that comes after that, if you know what I mean… I never had such a loving partner before, someone who could make each moment so special and who made me feel so loved…"
Sam interrupted himself when he couldn't help it anymore and broke into desolated sobs, his eyes filling with bitter tears that for once he didn't even try to stop. He took one of Blaine's injured hands to his lips and kissed each one of its knuckles devotedly, as if willing him to wake up that way. Unfortunately, it didn't work.
"So Blaine, please, even if you don't forgive me and you never want to laugh with me, or kiss me or make love with me again, you have to wake up. I can't stand this silence anymore" Sam pleaded, bending down to join their foreheads together as a plea, trying to ignore how warm Blaine's felt to the touch.
But Blaine still refused to wake up.