Chapter Two
After Azula and Ty Lee return to reality and leave the lights behind them, "I've never had Tang," says Mai, sipping the orange elixir.
She stands in the kitchen with Azula, Ty Lee, Zuko and Ilah. They all came to make Christmas cupcakes but only Ty Lee is putting any effort into the baking. It is the dead of the night and no one has any interest in recipe books.
"Do you like it?" asks Ilah, ceasing to aid her granddaughter's wife. She turns and leans against the counter to talk to the gathered young adults.
"I do," Mai says with a shrug. She softly smiles after a second sip.
Zuko sees the curve of her lips and his expression sours.
"So, only Tang can melt the ice princess," says Zuko, glaring. "We should market it that way."
"Do any of you want to go riding with me?" asks Ilah, desperate to change the subject before Zuko and Mai fight.
"Can you do that in the snow?" asks Ty Lee, tilting her head to the side. She sneezes suddenly from the flour.
"Yes. Mai?" Ilah offers.
"I don't like riding horses," says the newly named ice princess. "I got a pony when I was a kid, but I only rode it once."
"Why?" inquires Azula. She does not remember that.
"I liked the pony, but I didn't like the part where it moved. My parents only gave it to me as an apology, anyway," Mai flatly explains with a cavalier shrug.
"For what?" Ilah inquires, cocking an eyebrow.
Mai sighs, shakes her head and answers, "They forgot me at the airport. They forgot me a lot, which was absurd because I was their only child for fourteen years and Ty Lee and Zuko never were forgotten anywhere once."
Zuko fiercely corrects, "I was forgotten at the airport when I was seventeen."
Azula scoffs and says, "You weren't forgotten. Mother told me you were coming and I just didn't tell father. It didn't seem very important, and you were at home when we arrived, so you are just being a drama queen."
Ty Lee giggles, and sneezes again.
"That counts as father forgetting me," growls Zuko.
"Oh, shut up. If you are angry, blame mother. She should have told someone other than me that you were coming. She should have known that I find nothing more beautiful than the idea of you lost and probably scared as you sob hysterically about how much your daddy hates you," Azula says, smirking. "It is like heroin. That is how good it feels to think about that scenario."
Zuko punches the wall.
Thankfully, this time he does not leave a dent.
[X]
That night, "Why is it so cold?" Bunny asks, crawling into bed with her mothers and wedging herself between them. Her knee collides with Ty Lee's back, making her yelp. Azula softly snickers; Ty Lee had that coming. "It's cold."
Azula sighs and says to her wife, "Ty Lee, go find out why it's so cold."
Ty Lee buries her face in her pillow in a futile attempt to pretend to be asleep. Azula refuses to fall for it.
"We are both comfortable, I know, but it is inexplicably cold and you have jeopardized my inheritance, so, honestly, it falls on you to figure out the problem."
Ty Lee slowly begins to stand up, but when her skin touches the frigid air, she slides back into the blankets.
"Does it really matter why it's cold? It's just super cold," Ty Lee softly says, tugging the blankets up higher over her body. "Let's stay comfy and figure it out tomorrow."
"I can live with that," groggily replies Azula.
They both fall asleep in a guest house with a broken furnace.
[X]
In the freezing morning, Azula sits at the breakfast table with her daughter and her horrible sister-in-law. God, she is a sister-in-law. Azula knew she and Zuko would never break up, and she also knows that she is entirely responsible for their wedding, but that does not make her happy about it. Nothing could possibly make a lifetime stuck with Katara be a good thing.
Azula is wrapped in her parka, scarf, gloves and hat. Bunny is bundled up as well. Katara sits casually in her pajamas without so much as a robe.
"How can you be comfortable in this weather? The furnace is broken in the mountains in winter," Azula snarls at Katara.
Katara shrugs. "I'm from Alaska. Anyway, you can have the fire soon; your grandmother wants us to play games and sit by the woodstove."
Bunny looks aghast. "I don't wanna play board games; I wanna play Grand Theft Auto!" she exclaims as she glares at her mother.
Azula's eyes harden. "Then poker. We will play poker," she coldly suggests, her eyes as frigid as the room she sits in.
Bunny wails, "That's not better!"
Azula rubs her temples. "I will buy you a car if you come downstairs and play poker."
At first, Bunny is thrilled, but then she realizes, "I can't drive; I'm eight!"
"I will buy you two cars if you come downstairs and play poker. And I will let you watch Homicide for the Holidays with us," Azula says. Bunny contemplates the deal for a few moments before nodding. "You will act like a sweet and adorable and polite child, or you will receive no reward."
Bunny grins. "I'm always sweet and adorable and polite! Especially when there's presents!"
"Oh, the innocence of children," remarks Katara under her breath. She finishes slicing her orange with a grimace.
Bunny does not understand the comment.
Azula ignores it.
[X]
During the debacle called poker with an obscenely competitive family, Azula slinks outside with her gorgeous sentimental lighter in hand and a pack of excuses-to-leave-the-room. She stands in the ice and hopes to not light the fur of her winter gear on fire as she sets a cigarette ablaze.
Ty Lee follows her, garbed in a blindingly pink parka. "Seriously?"
"You shouldn't leave the room. Grandfather is mad at you," Azula says, glaring again.
Ty Lee sighs; she is getting tired of Azula's anger at her. She feels terribly that she laughed at Katara's comment, but she cannot take it back.
"I said I was going to share a cigarette with you." Ty Lee pouts.
Azula cocks an eyebrow. "You look annoyed."
"I seriously disapprove of all of your addictions," says Ty Lee, crossing her arms.
"Yes, but I am in charge of the relationship and you have to tolerate all I do and obey everything I say," Azula casually replies with a shrug. Ty Lee scowls. "Oh, what? You agreed to marry me and you knew the ground rules of our relationship."
Ty Lee huffily sighs. "It's because I love you, Azula. It's because I love you that I'm going to be really nice to your grandfather and maybe be kinda sexy to make up for it, and it's because I love you that I really want another baby, and it's because I love you that I want you to quit smoking."
Azula rolls her eyes. "Well, it is because I love you that I pretend to listen to your demands." She rests her left hand on Ty Lee's shoulder. "And it is because I love Bunny that I refuse to have a second child. I see what that does. My father and uncle, me and my brother…"
Ty Lee gently shakes her head, but she does not voice her thousand protests. The truth is, if they are good parents, they will not have to worry about that, but she knows Azula needs time.
"I'll wait for you. I'll wait forever if I have to, because I love you." Ty Lee kisses Azula, but it is broken up by her sneezing again.
Azula coughs.
Ty Lee accidentally inhales smoke.
It is not a very romantic moment anymore.
[X]
By the fire still, Mai says, "I'll be the judge. I don't do push-ups."
She sits and watches Azula and Zuko glare at each other before dropping to the floor. Ty Lee follows with a huge smile.
The rest of the family looks on with various incredulous expressions. Mai suppresses a laugh as she says, "Alright, start."
Azulon could not be more confused by the display. It is probably better than a fistfight, he must say. Although, he always likes it when his family breaks into acts of violence over the inheritance or his favor or any of their other absurd issues.
Azula and Zuko shoot each other fierce expressions as they do perfect push-ups. Ty Lee keeps smiling as she easily does the same.
Zuko falls first. Azula stumbles and rolls onto her back. Ty Lee jumps up.
"I won!" she chirps.
Azula sighs. Ty Lee does have impressive upper body strength.
[X]
The fire continues to warm the small room as the family sits trapped inside.
Bunny plays with Kya as Ty Lee looks on. It would be so cute if they had another little kid to play with Bunny. It would be adorable.
Mai feeds Valerie a few crumbs of sugar cookies. Ilah grabs her hand to stop her.
"She's already so chunky," Ilah breathlessly says. "She really shouldn't be eating cookies."
Mai cocks an eyebrow and whispers, "She's a baby."
"A chunky baby," Ilah corrects.
Mai does not care enough to argue.
[X]
Azula sits on the piano bench and, at the request of Azulon, performs for him. She always has had to do this since she was a child, and she is used to it by now.
She is halfway through her signature Christmas song at the moment with, "Nails, spears shall pierce him through—"
"What?" interrupts Bunny. "What? Why are there nails and spears in a Christmas song!"
Azula sighs and crashes her fingers down on the piano keys. The sound is unpleasant and makes everyone in the room cringe.
"Because Jesus died that way," Azula exasperatedly explains.
Bunny's jaw drops. Azula closes her eyes and tries to avoid murdering everyone here.
"That's horrible!" Bunny exclaims, her eyes rotund as full moons. "He's a baby!"
Mai mutters to Ozai, "A chunky baby," and he hits her knee.
"He does not stay a baby," Azula says, now truly considering whipping out one of her grandmother's swords and going Kill Bill on everyone in attendance. At least she would get the inheritance before Azulon could write her out of the will for having such a heathen child.
"Really?" Bunny cocks her head to the side like a confused puppy.
"Really." Azula sighs.
She glances at Azulon, her eyes pleading, 'Are we okay?' and the subtle shake of his head answering her question.
[X]
"Someone needs to get the parts so I can fix the furnace," says Azulon. "There is a very well-stocked hardware store in West."
"I volunteer," announces Azula, boldly standing.
She must regain her high status in Azulon's eyes.
"Azula," Ty Lee says, seizing her wife by the wrist. "What if you die? You could die! The snow is so deep and it's so cold and…!"
All Azula does is kiss Ty Lee on the lips.
She softly says, "Goodbye. If I die, I want you to know that I am so angry at you and Bunny that the sweet release of death by hypothermia or car crash would be the greatest Christmas gift in the history of time."
Ty Lee bites back tears as Azula grabs her purse and leaves.