Authors Note: The reason this is late is because of RivalAdmirer. She filled my head with delicious possible future events and I couldn't help but write/brainstorm those first lol

Thank you so much for all the favourites and follows and reviews. I would like to know what parts of this story you've liked so far?

Also I made a DGM imagines blog over on tumblr so head on over? URL is imaginethedgm at tumblr dot com. Shoot me a headcanon or scenario ask!

Bit of a surprise but not a crossover people. I just didn't want to make too many OCs and the two animanga were in similar timelines so… heh.

Fighting Fate

III

Awkward did not even begin to describe my current situation. Exasperating, however did.

A long time ago, back in my first life and the first time I read through -Man and before the cluster fuck that is Mana and Nea being two halves of the Millenium Earl, my perception of Mana was an old man who liked to make fun of Allen and cared for him deeply. I thought he was a mature man that just liked teasing his hard-assed stubborn adopted son.

How wrong I was.

"Don't you look adorable! She looks like a mini you, Nathan!" Mana cooed as I flushed in deep embarrassment.

Mana Walker was a shameless doting parent. And Nathan, the traitor, was bloody encouraging him. I was now wearing an identical suit to what Nathan usually wore to his gigs, which was basically a fully white lounge suit with dark grey accents. My hair that normally fell straight was somehow wavy, matching Nathan's own hair. How the hell Mana managed that, I have absolutely no idea. The thought of him actually remembering how to use whatever version of magic this world had to style my hair was ridiculous but with what I know of Mana now, not unimaginable.

It's been a couple of months since we left the town we met Mana in. Even though I had fully expected Mana to leave at some point, he had dutifully followed wherever Nathan had decided to go. Right now we were in Norwich, following an invitation by one of Nathan's friends. His friend had asked to catch up while he was still in town and to maybe play a few songs for them.

Mana had followed us too, not that Nathan minded since he seemed perfectly happy to have someone who wasn't six to talk to. He seemed to find Mana's way of communication which mostly consists of either teasing me or speaking in riddles and quotes vastly entertaining.

The fact that Mana seemed to be able to guilt trip me into obeying social niceties of the late 19th century probably had Nathan worshipping the clown's feet. Also side note: Mana has devastating puppy eyes. I am weak.

Anyway, Nathan's friend had invited us to join them for dinner as well, so we were all dressed up to the nines. Mana had thought it would be better for me to dress as a boy for now since we didn't have anything to cover my left arm with that would be appropriate with the fancy dresses Nathan had insisted on buying for me. I was just grateful I could put off wearing the monstrosities of late 19th century fashion. As a modest 20th century dresser, the… bump thing that's required on all dresses ladies wore in this age was ridiculous. Why the hell would you need a wired bump at your back? I mourned the loss of modern fashion and was forever thankful I still had a few more years before I was subjected to the ridiculous fashion of the current age.

Nathan was for some reason devastated he forgot to buy me gloves to cover my arm. I tried not to pay attention to his mutterings of how much he had wanted my first appearance in front of his friends to be as a girl. It was nice though, to know that Nathan wanted to show me off. Even if it was mildly annoying.

My thoughts wandered as we walked our way out of the inn and into the prepared carriage that would take us to the large mansion at the edge of the town. Somehow, Mana had ended up travelling with Nathan and I. I wondered if this was fate's way of saying that there were things that could and could not be change? Was my meeting with Mana inevitable after all? Even if I had been able to out stubborn Nathan out of going to the circus, would I have eventually stumbled upon Mana? What sort of change will Nathan's presence in Mana's life bring?

I shivered in dread at the thought and I felt Mana pull me closer to him, probably thinking I was cold. I smiled lightly at him when he rubbed my head gently, my thoughts in a state of disarray. This kind, gentle, irritatingly doting man was also the person who created Akuma. I wondered what really happened to Mana and Nea? Things were still left unfinished when I had died and I was never one to remember the littlest details. I must be missing something here because the man I've gotten to know for the past few months did not resemble the Millenium Earl in any way.

Mana was an infinitely gentle person with me. He was a little closed off with Nathan at first but that had diminished slightly after the first few weeks. For some reason, it felt like he was… resettling? Like he was getting used to something he was used to before. I wondered if Mana could somehow sense Nea inside of me. He had been so exceedingly comfortable with me from the start. Instead of being closed off physically like I had expected of Mana, he had hugged me quite a few times already and seemed to enjoy playing with my hair.

He also liked seeing me cross dress, getting something like a faraway look in his eyes that Nathan always had to bring him out of. It made me wonder just how much Mana remembered of himself and Nea. It also made me wonder if Mana had known Allen. It was obvious even though I was a girl that I looked like this mysterious friend of Nea. So when Mana looks at me when I cross dress, did he somehow remember Allen?

"Where did your mind wander off to, Ellen?" Nathan's voice broke through my thoughts and I turned to him.

Nathan was smiling at me with a gentle look in his eyes. I wasn't sure what he was thinking about but somehow I really didn't like it. It felt like Nathan was trying to embed me into his memories. Like he was afraid of forgetting me. I forced a smile on my lips, hoping it would make that look go away but the look stayed and I struggled to keep the smile on my face.

"Nowhere. Just wondering how long it'll take us to get there,"

Mana hummed and peered through the curtains of the carriage. "If where we're going is a rather large mansion up the road surrounded by white rose bushes, I say we're already there."

Nathan snorted. "White roses this time, huh?" He muttered under his breath. I looked at him curiously and he just smiled widely at me. I huffed just as the carriage came to a stop.

The carriage door was opened for us and Nathan stepped out first, turning around to offer me a hand. I took it, thinking I would step down on my own but Nathan was having none of that and took another hand to my waist and carried me out of the carriage. I squeaked in surprised and glared at a forever smiling Nathan. Mana followed after me with a chuckle.

"Nathan, old friend!" A deep voice called out jovially and our group turned to the entrance of the beautiful mansion we had arrived at.

A man around Nathan's age, maybe a little older waved enthusiastically. His face light with joy and gave me the impression of someone who enjoyed the little things in life. His hair was a light blond, the sides swept back and the top curled back. He had a light beard going on that probably made him look older than he actually was.

"Finn! It's good to see you again!" Nathan greeted back, fast walking forward and giving the man a firm handshake and pat on the shoulder. Mana and I quietly followed him. I curiously peered into the open door behind the man, Finn. It looked as extravagant as I suspected. Clean wallpapered walls, lush carpets and ornate decorations. Nathan was friends with someone as rich as a noble? Or was this guy actually a noble?

"Oh, and who are these two?" Finn asked, finally noticing us.

"This is Mana, someone I met and befriended in my travelling. And this," Nathan paused to kneel beside me and place his hands on my shoulders. "Is Ellen. Forgive her dressing, we didn't exactly have much time to purchase a dress for her… And it was safer for her to cross dress as she was travelling with me."

I honestly didn't expect Nathan to blow the fact I was a girl so soon. He had always introduced me as 'Allen' after we met Mana and I started going out into town with him or Mana more. When I had asked, he didn't answer of course. Nathan just looked at Mana sadly, leading me to believe he thinks that calling me Allen sometimes would maybe help Mana.

I didn't really appreciate it but Mana had been getting a bit more cheerful than he was when he started travelling with us. And honestly, seeing the man look so desolate was maddening. I didn't understand how Allen had missed it. But I suppose as a child he wouldn't notice just how emotionally turbulent Mana actually was.

"She's a bit of a day dreamer, huh?"

I suddenly found Nathan's friend right in front of my face and squeaked back. They laughed and I blushed in mortification. So what if I got lost in my thoughts some times?! I had a lot to think about!

"She gets lost in her thoughts almost all the time and gets such a complicated face. Little ladies should enjoy her present time, Ellen." Mana teased me and I felt my face getting hotter.

I scowled at Mana, though with my age, it was probably a pout. I was proven right when the men around me laughed and I pouted harder.

"Oh dear, it's rude to laugh at young ladies without even inviting them in, Finn!" A soft voice chastised from inside the mansion. I looked up and saw a pretty lady with gorgeous sky blue eyes and platinum blonde hair tied up in a tight, neat bun at the large entrance way. She had a very kind looking face and I knew I would immediately like her. Especially when she started pinching Nathan and Finn's ears hard as she reprimanded them.

"Honestly! Both of you were raised as gentlemen, most would think you would have some semblance of manners!"

"Sweetheart, please do let go! It hurts!" Finn winced as Nathan just chuckled through his grimace.

The lady huffed before letting them go. Nathan and Finn rubbed their ears, trying to sooth the pain as she came forward and gave me her hand.

"Hello, little lady," She smiled widely as I accepted her hand and she started pulling me inside the mansion. "My name is Eleanor Nevill. Marchioness of Abergavenny."

I was so startled by her title, I stumbled a bit in my steps. The only thing that kept me from falling was her firm grasp on my hand. I looked at her, feeling very bewildered much to her amusement.

"Did Nathan not tell you who we were, little lady?" She asked, silently eyeing the man with a raised eyebrow. Nathan merely shrugged with a sheepish smile as he guided a curious Mana inside.

"Um, no?" I replied. "I'm Ellen, my lady." I introduced myself, tacking on the last bit when I remembered Mana's lessons on how to address nobles.

I saw a sparkle in the sky blue eyes and a bright smile dominated her face in an instant.

"Such manners!" She cooed. "At least Nathan did something right. Call me Aunt Eleanor, Ellen. You're practically family now." She teased out the last bit, smiling mischievously at Nathan. "It's not everyday the great Earl of Phantomhive picks up a little girl off the streets after all."

I blinked at her. Then turned to Nathan who was starting everywhere but at me. Then I turned to an extremely amused Mana and Finn who looked like he was two seconds from collapsing on the floor laughing. Then I turned back to Eleanor.

"I have an idiot for a guardian, Aunt Eleanor." I said seriously, still feeling flabbergasted at the turn of events and completely ignoring Nathan's squawk of protest and the others laughter.

My mind was racing with the new information. Nathan was an Earl. He was a bloody noble. Why on earth would a noble become a travelling violinist, let alone pick up a stray kid on a whim? Why wasn't he where he was supposed to be doing whatever it was a noble of the late 19th century did?

"There will be time for you to think later, little lady," Eleanor chastised me with a smile as she pulled me along to follow after Finn whom had taken the lead to what I assumed was either the dining hall. "For now, we shall feast and perhaps I can get you into one of the old dresses around here. A little lady should dress appropriately, after all!"

She had an unholy gleam as she said this and I shuddered at the possibility of becoming a human doll for her to dress up. Glancing at a very amused Mana and a slightly guilty Nathan, I knew I wasn't going to get any help from them.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a noble?" I asked Nathan the next morning.

It had been a long, exhausting night. After a rather amiable dinner filled with light chatter as Nathan caught up with his friends and Mana and I sampling delicious food, Nathan had left to talk with Finn. We were left in the gracious hands of Eleanor who proceeded to stuff me into varying dresses that she had deemed cute. Mana had entertained her by styling my hair according to the lady's wishes that would suit the dress I was wearing at the time. There was a bit of a pause in the beginning when Eleanor saw my left arm, but she merely eyed me with a strange glint that I couldn't make heeds of last night as she had whirled me into a dress before I could say anything about it.

She had kept quiet about it, even if there were times during the night she would lightly brush her fingers over my Innocence arm and stare at me almost forlornly. It made me wonder if Eleanor knew what my arm really was. But it also served to remind me I had been somewhat ignoring what my arm implied for my future.

Don't get me wrong, Mana's constant presence was a blaring reminder of what I might not be able to avoid. But Mana was a reminder of the Millenium Earl. He is the Millenium Earl, though I believed he didn't know that himself right now. I remembered vaguely that the Millenium Earl had no recollection of ever raising Allen, so maybe he either forgot or something else had happened between Mana's death and Allen turning him into an Akuma.

But Crown Clown is an Innocence. A Parasitic Innocence that was in my arm. I knew I couldn't avoid Akuma forever because Innocence was like a beacon to them. I knew that one day I had to learn to use it. But I kept denying it. I knew what was inevitable but I couldn't help but want to just get rid of it. I didn't want to have to do anything with Crown Clown. I didn't want to be part of any war let alone a bloody Holy War that's been going on for thousands of years.

I was a nearly 30-year-old woman stuck in a child's body. I had a life I was taken away from abruptly after I had finally been comfortable – content. I had been at the height of my life, I had finally been able to truly enjoy life.

And it was all taken away in an instant.

I shook my head, getting rid of those thoughts. There was a time and place for everything and right now wasn't the time to contemplate on my own self pity. I turned my eyes towards Nathan who was cleaning his violin silently. Mana had opted to sleep in a different room tonight. Whether or not he felt like he needed to give us privacy, I would probably never know. But I was grateful that he wasn't here.

I had come to care deeply for Nathan. He was like an older brother to me, albeit a slightly annoying one sometimes. But he was good to me. Sometimes I think he was far too good for me. He had after all chosen to care for a little girl he knew nothing of on a whim. I had never really asked him why he had chosen to take care of me. Part of me was afraid of the answer I would receive.

Nathan had somehow burrowed himself so deeply in my heart this past few months without me noticing. Starting from that point when he called me his little sister in front of Mana, I started to rely on him more. I started to childishly hold onto his hand when we walked, to clap excitedly when he played a cheerful tune, to cherish the moments when he ruffled my hair, kissed my forehead or pulled me close for a hug.

I loved Nathan. He was the older brother I had always wanted and now that I had him–.

I never wanted to lose him. I never even want to think of the possibility that I could lose Nathan somehow. I hadn't realized how much I had craved for family. For people that would love me unconditionally because they were someone we thought of as siblings. I never had that kind of bond with my first siblings. We were never so close. Never as close as I was to Nathan. I never knew their favourite foods or colours like I knew Nathan's. I never knew they didn't like wearing bright colours like I knew Nathan didn't like wearing black.

But did I really, truly know Nathan? I didn't even know he had a last name until last night! Maybe it was my fault that I never asked him, but wasn't your name – your full name something you would tell people when you first met them? Why would Nathan not tell me, even after almost a year of travelling together?

"Nathan?" I called to him again, wanting him to answer me.

"I never liked my last name," He suddenly said and I startled.

I blinked at him, confused. He had stopped rubbing the cloth on the back of the violin, instead staring at it with almost narrowed eyes. I stayed silent, biting my lips in nervousness. After what felt like forever, he raised his eyes to me and I could see the raw pain in usually warm chocolate.

"My last name… it wasn't really mine. I was a street rat… an orphan. I didn't have a family. But this family name came with a lot of responsibility. Responsibility that I didn't want," He started. "The Phantomhives… They were a family drenched in the darkness of the world. They were everything I hated when I was a kid. Noble, rich, strong, ruthless. But then…" He trailed off, his eyes gaining a hazy sheen. Like he was remembering something from the past.

"But then, a hand was offered to me. A gloved hand attached to a man who was consumed in hatred and vengeance. His name was Lord Ciel Phantomhive, Earl of Phantomhive and the Queen's Watchdog." Nathan smiled bitterly at this as he put the violin down into its case, his hand clutching the rag he had been using to clean it. "There is always a darkness to every society, Ellen. And the Phantomhives dealt with that darkness for the Queen. It didn't matter what it took, so long as that darkness never reached the crown then the Phantomhives would do it."

Never. Never in all my life, either in this one or the last would have prepared me for this. I knew that not everything in the world was fine and dandy. Not even in the twenty first century. There was the Italian mafia, the Chinese triads, the Russian mobs. There was the Underworld. A world that I had thought I would never get caught up in and now…

I watched wide eyed as Nathan slowly stood from where he was to kneel in front of me, leaving the rag on the table, left rumpled from his grip. His hands came up and gently laid them on my shoulders, not quite gripping but not quite firm enough. As if… As if he was afraid of touching me…

"I hate my last name," He started again, his voice soft and I could practically hear the pain in it. "It was the name of the man that did horrible things for the Queen… and the name of the man that gave me a family. Ciel had many regrets but he did not want to regret everything in his life. He wasn't the best father, but he tried his best. He was awkward at showing affection but never failed to remind me that it was his own whims and choices that led to my adoption." Nathan's smile was so heartbreakingly sad. As if thinking of this Ciel brought him the most unimaginable pain to him. "So I became both salvation and damnation for him. I saved his humanity when he had to raise and take care of me. And I became his damnation when he chose me over his duty.

"The name Phantomhive killed the closest thing I had to a father. It broke the heart of the closest thing I had to a mother and fractured the family that had gathered under its name." His hands on my shoulders gripped me lightly now. Not enough to hurt me but enough that I could feel the pressure. His eyes were hazy again and I knew I saw tears in them. "It was a chain that held me down, a chain that wanted to force me into the dark mould of Earl Phantomhive… But at the same time it was the name the only family I had known had banded together.

"My mother… She took the Watchdog's name in honour of my father and to protect me, even for just a little longer she said. But I couldn't bear to leave her to handle the society that took her fiancée so I helped in anyway I could," His smile turned bitter at this. "I used the violin, the one thing that Ciel had enjoyed teaching me to gather information to give to her."

It was quiet for a moment as I tried to digest what he was telling me. I knew he was glossing over a lot of things but the little things that slipped… Getting involved with Nathan was dangerous. It was just as dangerous as getting involved with the Noah or the Black Order. Just a few minutes ago I was agonizing never being able to escape the Holy War because of Crown Clown. And now… Was staying with Nathan worth it?

"…I didn't tell you my name because I never wanted you to know," Nathan's words brought me out of my thoughts. "You were an orphaned little girl living near the East End of London, I didn't know if you would recognize the name and fear it."

I blinked at that. "Why would I…"

Nathan smile turned sad and regretful. "There was a time… when Ciel's father was Earl Phantomhive that orphaned children would be taken from their homes by him and never returned. It wasn't exactly his fault but… the rumours… I just didn't want you to be afraid of me when I realized you didn't recognize me."

"…And after…?"

"…It… was just easier to continue like that, I suppose." He admitted, regret filling his eyes. "You knew of the name Phantomhive and that made me a little happy. I could pretend that I was nothing more than a travelling musician with you."

The words brought a cold chill in my heart. Pretend… Was everything just an act then? Everything from the moment Nathan picked me up? When he called me his little sister? When he would comfort me when I had nightmares? Was it all… Just pretend…?

"No!" I startled and saw panicked eyes and a hard grip on my shoulders. "I may have omitted my name but whatever I felt when I took you in, when I realized I loved you like you were family, that was all real, Ellen. I could never fake that. I could never hurt you like that." He pleaded with me and I realized he had known what I was thinking. His hands left my shoulders and wrapped themselves around me, pulling me closer to him and practically crushed me to him. "You're my little sister, Ellen. That's why I decided I wanted you to know. It was cowardly of me to let you know by letting other people to tell you and I'm sorry. I should've just told you. You've always been so mature, so understanding and I should have told you but I didn't want to be the one to tell you I was lying."

I blinked rapidly at that, feeling a bit choked up as I felt tears well up in my eyes. "T-That doesn't make sense!"

"I know. It probably doesn't. But I didn't want to lose you. I wanted someone else to be a scapegoat for me to blame if you turned around and decided to hate me for lying to you."

"You're stupid!" I cried, feeling my tears overflow and run down my cheeks. I raised my arms to grip at his stupid white suit.

"I know. I am. I'm a big idiot. I'm sorry." Nathan agreed and apologized, squeezing me tighter to him. "I love you, ma petite soeur."

All at once, as if a dam just broke I cried my heart out. I mumbled incoherently into Nathan's shoulder as he tightened his grip on me and started to pet my hair. I knew I didn't make sense. I didn't even know what I was saying. All I knew was that I loved this man, with all his past and the dangers that would come, I loved Nathan. He's my brother. The only family I have in this world and I wasn't letting him go. Even if that meant getting potentially pulled into the Underworld, I wasn't going to regret it.

Nathan Phantomhive was my brother and I would do everything to make him stay by my side.

Ma petite soeur = 'my little sister' in French. Which I wish I could learn but I have my hands full with Japanese lol