Chapter 2

Fifteen minutes later Jason was walking towards Sam's door when it opened rather forcefully and an obviously angry Patrick Drake came storming out, almost running him over. Jason watched him storm to his car and peel out of the driveway towards town. Concerned, he continued to the open front door and looked in to see Sam standing in the far corner of the dining room near the terrace doors, staring at the gaping front door, a look of pain on her face. A look that turned hard and almost unwelcoming when she saw him. He stepped through the door hesitantly and gestured with his hands towards the door that Patrick had exited, "I'm sorry, looks like I came at a bad time?"

Her voice was unusually harsh again, "what do you need, Jason?"

He moved further into the room and stood facing her, noting that she was still very angry and almost fighting to control it. He started awkwardly, "I want to apologize for how I spoke to you earlier." His keen eyes didn't miss the way her head went up, her eyes getting even steelier as he continued quietly, "almost since the day we met, you've been nothing but kind and good to me. You've been a very good friend and you've treated me with nothing but respect, and I couldn't show you that same respect tonight. I'm sorry, Sam."

She took a step back and looked at him incredulously, "you're sorry? You came here to tell me that you're sorry for how you spoke to me tonight?" She was angry again. "How about for how much of a douche you've been since you found out who you were?"

He stepped back as if slapped, the look on her face making him think she wanted to do just that. "Ouch. I suppose I deserved that."

She stepped forward this time and he thought for sure she was going to slap him, but she yelled instead, "fuck what you deserve! You've been a total and complete ass to me, not to mention to Danny, and I'm sick of tiptoeing around you and that lying, conniving trash that you're choosing ahead of us, yet again! I don't give a shit what you think you deserve anymore Jason, just go deserve it someplace else," she finished by turning her back on him, moving closer to the terrace doors, raising her arms to heap her long dark hair up on her head in frustration. He stared at her back, her normally strong and confident posture seeming to sag, as she sighed and took a deep breath. Was she crying?

"Sam?" His tentative step forward halted when she whirled around, no sign of tears in her angry eyes.

"Why are you still here, Jason? How did you even get away from the chain around your neck to be here apologizing to me? Did you sneak out again without your warden knowing?"

"Please, Sam, we need to talk."

She wouldn't make it easy for him, she was tired of making everything easy for him. "What do we have left to talk about?"

"Tonight, at Elizabeth's, you said she was lying about something. What do you think she's lying about?"

Her laugh was mocking. "So little miss perfect has a chip in her halo, and you glimpse it, finally? Couldn't bring herself to tell you though, could she?"

"Tell me what? Can you just say it already?" He couldn't control the frustration any longer.

"Tell you that she's known for awhile now, that you're Jason Morgan. I don't know how long exactly, but I overheard Jake telling Danny that his mom and his grandma Laura had a secret about you. Then I started to remember all the conversations that Elizabeth and I had about Jake Doe. When you proposed to her I found her crying in the chapel. She was so lost and confused about marrying you, and guess who ended up convincing her that she should accept your proposal? Why not, you two were in love and you both deserved some happiness after all the upheaval that life had thrown at you, so I encouraged her to follow her heart and go for it." Sam laughed dryly, "how ironic, right? There I stood, encouraging another woman to marry my husband, the love of my life. She must've had a really good laugh at that one afterwards. I'd laugh myself if it wasn't so sad and pathetic."

Jason was getting even more frustrated. "That doesn't mean that she knew who I was, Sam. Are you sure you're not just wanting her to be the bad guy here?"

She was shaking her head adamantly, "think about it Jason…we've suspected for awhile that Nicholas knew who you were, and Nicholas and Elizabeth are the closest of friends who've been spending a whole lot of time together in recent months. Nicholas obviously told her who you were and she has been keeping it to herself, pushing me and Patrick together, convincing you to give up trying to find out who you were, getting edgy every time you came near me and Danny." She was almost pleading as she stared him in the eye, "you've always had great instincts Jason. They've saved us more times than I can count, so don't overlook them now."

Sam became emphatic, gesturing with her hands to get him to hear her. "Think, ask yourself, haven't you had those moments with Elizabeth where you thought things weren't adding up, like she was keeping things from you, being secretive about something? Haven't you had a cryptic conversation where she's started to tell you something and then changed her mind at the last minute?" Sam crossed her arms defiantly over her chest and sneered at him, "of course she has. That's why you're here, isn't it? Can't count on Saint Elizabeth to be truthful, can you?"

Jason felt the need to defend Elizabeth, for the umpteenth time that day. "Elizabeth and I don't have secrets between us. If she knew who I was she would've told me the moment she found out. She knows how important that was to me." The words sounded hollow even to him, but he had to continue, "she's a good person and she would never keep something like that from me. Are you sure you're not just telling yourself that because I've asked you for a divorce, because I'm in love with her and don't remember you?"

He knew he had gone too far, almost as soon as he said the words. Her hand shot out so fast that he heard the sound of the punch before he felt its connection with his jaw. He reached up and rubbed at the sting as he looked at her apologetically…damn, her tiny ass could pack a punch! "I'm sorry, Sam but you're trying to make me doubt the woman I'm about to marry and you don't even have any real proof. So what you heard Jake say something about a secret, that could've been anything, something he made up to impress his younger brother. And I know that Nicholas knew who I really was all along and kept it a secret for his own selfish reasons, but there's no way that he told Elizabeth, she would've told me, and nothing that you've said here is proof that she knew."

Sam wanted to punch him again. She wanted to take all of the frustration that she's had with the entire situation, all of the anger that she's felt about how unfair it all was, and pack it all into a punch that would land him on his ass all the way outside in the yard, but instead she clenched her fists and screamed. She bent over at the waist and put all her strength into the scream. Patrick had gotten mad and stormed out tonight because they'd been fighting about Jason and how Sam was determined to out Elizabeth's part in the coverup of his identity. He couldn't understand that she just wanted Jason to know the truth, so he could make informed decisions about his life and not be manipulated by the very people that he trusted. Now, here Jason himself was defending Elizabeth too, again. Sam had enough. She just wanted it all to go away. She screamed again for good measure, oblivious to him dropping to his knees in front of her, hesitant to touch her, with his arms extended awkwardly in front of him, his face worried as he looked at her with concern. "Sam, please, it's going to be okay. We'll figure everything out. Please, stop Sam, please."

But she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop all the pain, and grief, and anger, and frustration that was coursing through her heart. Sam screamed for the perfect life that she had finally made for herself, a life with her husband who loved and wanted only her. She screamed for the loss of their perfect home with their son between them, enjoying their long awaited family together. She screamed for how short that time had been, for how cruel life had been to their son. She screamed for the man who came back but who was not her Jason, and she screamed for not being able to stop screaming. The tears soon followed what turned into silent screams, as her knees hit the floor now, trailing giant sobs that wracked her entire body, the anger and frustration pouring out of her soul.

Jason was horrified. He didn't know what to do, had no clue what she needed in that moment. Her wracking screams hit his ears and tugged at his heart, as he reached his arms around and wrapped her into his body. She fought his embrace, her arms splaying wildly as he tried to hold her, the screams subsiding into sobs, tears streaking her beautiful face. He ignored the protest and held her tightly to his chest, trying earnestly to soothe her, rocking their bodies lightly from side to side. "It's okay, Sam, it's okay." A couple minutes later, she had stopped fighting him and her sobs grew soft. "I'm sorry, Sam, it's okay."

Sam shoved herself out of Jason's arms and stood to her feet, brushing away the helping hand he tried to offer her. She wiped furiously at the unwanted tears on her face, speaking icily to him as she turned away from him to face the terrace doors. "I'm fine, please go."

Jason stood up also, still unsure of what to do, knowing only that he was not ready to leave. He could not leave her like that, he had never seen Sam like that before and he didn't know what to do. "I can't leave like this Sam. Please tell me what's wrong?"

Sam turned to look at him incredulously. "You can't be serious?"

It hurt him to see how much he was hurting her, and he didn't quite understand it. She had told him many times about the once in a lifetime love that she shared with her late husband, and in the time spent as Jake Doe, he had seen how much she missed him, but they had gone their separate ways, life had taken them in two different directions and he thought that they had agreed that the decisions they'd made were for the best. She had found love again, had found a safe haven for herself and her son, with a good man who made them happy, and even though seeing them together always seemed to hurt a little, he was certain that's what his old self would want for her and Danny.

"Sam, you have a new life now, we both do. I can't remember our lives together and I'm sorry, but those memories may never come back."

She met his eyes fiercely, "if you keep saying you're sorry to me, Jason, I swear I'll slug you again!"

"But I am, Sam. I've hurt you and I don't mean to. I know how much you want me to remember and probably pick up where we left off, but I don't, and I can't. I'm in love with Elizabeth."

The sound of the woman's name was not in the least bit soothing to her. "I'm more than aware of how you feel about Elizabeth, Jason. You've always thought the world of her and nothing could ever change that, no matter what she did or who she hurt. In your eyes she was always in need of protection and forgiveness and you were always first in line to give her both."

"She's been good to me, Sam. I can't see her doing the things that you're accusing her of."

"But you can see me doing it, is that it? You can see me standing here, lying to your face about something this important?"

"I never said that."

"Well, one of us has to be lying, Jason, and if it's assuredly not your sainted Elizabeth, then it must be the needy ex, trying desperately to hold on to you, right?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth, Sam. This situation is hard on everyone, I know that you're not trying to hurt anyone, but think about what you're asking me to believe, here. How am I supposed to believe that the woman who's been my rock since I woke up in the hospital, has been lying to me about something as life changing as this? We're planning a life together, I trust her."

Sam stepped towards him slowly, her arms folded tightly across her body as though to hug herself, "you know what's funny, Jason? A long time ago I probably would've lied to try to hold onto you. I probably would have done anything to keep you with me, but you…you came into my life and showed me that there was a better me that I could be for myself. You taught me that I didn't need to lie, and cheat, and manipulate to be loved, that I was enough, just by being me. But that was a long time ago, I am not that woman anymore and I haven't been her in many years. I have a son who needs me, I have a family with Patrick that I love being a part of, I have purpose in my life, and people who care about me." She took another step for emphasis, "and you used to know that I would never lie to you."

Jason felt a twinge of guilt as her jab struck a chord in him. She was right, in the year that he could remember knowing her she had never lied to him. She had been a voice of reason and his biggest champion in his quest to uncover his identity. Deep in his heart he knew that she wasn't lying to him now, but the alternative was too painful to accept. "I can't accuse Elizabeth of lying based off anything you told me tonight, Sam. You have no proof that she's lying and I can't hurt her for no reason."

"No reason, Jason? Here's a reason…how about you deserve to know the truth and to be able to make your own decisions for your life? How about Helena and everyone else have been using you for an entire year, taking away your choices and treating you like an object, instead of a person? How about you have a little boy asleep upstairs who spent years not knowing your love, because of other people's choices for your life? I can give you a slew of reasons, Jason, but you're not interested in any of them, because the truth is that you can't trust Elizabeth, and you've somehow turned into this scared, obedient individual who prefers to live behind the foggy curtains in front of you, because what's behind them is way too truthful for your liking."

He didn't appreciate being called a coward, and Sam saw the way his chin shot up at the harshness of her words, but she would not stop there. "When you thought that you were married to Hayden Barnes, you went as far as to move into her hotel room with her, slept in a bed with her night after night, because you thought the honorable thing to do was to give your marriage a chance, to try to recover your memories of your life with her. Yet, when you find out you're really married to me, suddenly it's a different story! You can't ask for a divorce fast enough, and you don't want to remember a damn thing about your life as Jason Morgan. You don't want to remember making that precious little boy with me, because you're committed to a sweet little life with your life long saint." Her voice turned bitter and biting, "tell me something, Jason, after you found out who you really were, did it feel like you were home at last when you went to Elizabeth's bed that night and every night since? Do you feel like your life has been leading you to her this whole time, like fate brought you back to this town, to these people, to her life again?"

She was waiting for an answer.

Jason dragged his hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "Look, Sam, Hayden was a completely different story, okay.

The need to reach him was intense, that connection that they'd always shared raging to find home with his heart. Sam laid her hands on Jason's arms as she looked earnestly into his concerned blue eyes, awash with unanswered questions. Her voice was almost inaudible, shaking with the intensity of her emotions as she asked, "did you go back to her bed that night?" The question in his eyes grew more complex as he started to say, "Sam…"

She needed to finish. "That night when you found out that you were married to me, that we had shared a life and a child together, the night that you realized that you were the man that had meant everything to me for so long, the man that I died for when he died, what did you do that night, Jason?" Her whisper grew lower, as she leaned her head to the side and looked up into his face. "Did you, Jason? Even with no memory of our love or our time spent wrapped up in each other, were you able to climb into bed with another woman and make love to her that night?"

The forlorn look in her eyes was pulling at the very core of his heart. "Sam, please don't do this."

"What, Jason? Don't what? Don't tell you that I remember every kiss, every touch, every lingering caress that we shared? Don't tell you that I have missed every late morning in bed, every rain dance and rooftop dinner where we lost ourselves in each other? How do I not tell you that every breath that I took after you died was possible only because of the sweet baby that you left me to hold?"

As soon as she said that, Jason was transported to a place he didn't recognize. Sam was there, a much younger Sam, and she was crying, he was hurting her again. Why did he always seem to hurt her so much? She was saying something to him…"but our child, Jason, our child will be my love, my heart, my constant reminder of you."

Jason found himself whispering as the memory played out in his mind…"you may have to leave me, but you do not have to leave me alone."

Sam didn't understand. "What?"

Jason was in shock. He had just had a crystal clear memory of Sam, where they had talked about having a child together, a little part of him that he would leave with her when he died. The rawness of the emotions and the connection that they'd had in that moment was breathtaking to him. He had loved her so deeply, and he was so sad to see her crying, hurting so much at the thought of losing him forever. He had felt such an immense need to hold her and to make everything okay. He never wanted to leave her, she was everything to him and he had to find a way to dry her tears and ease her pain. The thought of leaving her with a part of him was everything. "You, Sam. I just remembered you."

She perked up in curiosity. "What did you remember?"

"We were alone together in a house somewhere near the beach, I could hear the waves outside. You were crying, saying that I didn't have to leave you alone, that the only thing that you really wanted was…". He trailed off as she finished, "…a baby."

Sam sighed softly, "Hawaii," she whispered. "We loved it there." Tears welled up in her eyes as she recalled the conversation that had ended so much better than how it had started. "You remember us?"

He nodded hesitantly and answered her unspoken question first, "I don't remember anything else, only that I hated to leave you and would've done anything to take the pain away."

Sam turned away from him and hugged her body tightly. "You should go, Jason. Just go home to Elizabeth…I'm sure she's wondering where you are." The words cut like a knife through her already fragile heart but she knew he was not her Jason anymore.

Jason was torn to shreds. He knew she was right, but a part of him wanted to stay with her, felt like he needed to stay with her. He didn't understand it, he didn't know what to make of the memory or the intensity of the feelings that accompanied it. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt before, the sheer depth of it leaving him almost breathless. He looked at Sam, marveling at the love he'd obviously once felt for her, and he wondered…was everyone right? Was he making a mistake? Was he giving up his destiny because all he knew was his present?