Chapter 9

Jason stood at the water's edge on pier 52, hands shoved into the pocket of his jeans, looking out into the dark waves, contemplating his next move. He had just left a therapy session at the hospital and although it had been hard at first for him to start going, he had to admit that Dr. Collins had been helping him with the struggles he faced and things were becoming more and more clear for him. At first, he had resisted the idea of a therapist being able to do anything except confuse the situation more, but after two weeks of going, he realized that it helped to talk about the things he'd been remembering and dreaming about, and Dr. Collins was able to provide a keen insight that was fresh and removed from the chaos in his life, while helping him to reach the memories locked deep within his jumbled mind. He had started going when Sam and Danny left on their adventure when he'd found himself missing them more each passing day. As he'd struggled to reconcile his growing feelings for Sam with the commitment he was about to make to Elizabeth, he'd decided that he needed help to make sense of the scattered emotions. So he had gone to an initial appointment where he'd ended up spending the entire hour just sitting there, wondering why he'd thought it was a good idea to begin with. It wasn't until recent developments had convinced him to do everything in his power to get Sam back that he started going twice per week. He was determined to do everything he possibly could to show Sam that she and Danny were all he wanted and he would stop at nothing to win them back. Even without his memories he knew that Jason Morgan didn't believe in therapy, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

He needed to get his wife to give their marriage another chance, and so far she had been stubbornly opposed to the idea, adamantly rebuffing his invitations to spend any time together that did not involve their son. But Jason wasn't about to give up. He would go to the extreme to show her how serious he was, even seek therapy. He needed her and he was finding out with each passing day just how much he'd always needed her.

"Annulment, Jason? You had our marriage annulled, as if it never happened?"

He'd heard the footfalls on the steps of the dock behind him and somehow, he knew it would be her. He could just tell by the tiny hairs on the back of his neck that seemed to stand on end whenever she was near as of late, and his annoyance at the intrusion to his reflections was evident. Without turning around he replied, "it should never have happened in the first place. I knew while I was doing it that I was making a mistake, but I had stopped listening to my heart and somehow gotten stuck in my head, giving in to you."

When he wouldn't turn around to further acknowledge her presence she stepped up alongside him at the edge of the water, but he still didn't look at her, just kept staring into the depths before him. "You don't mean that. Tell me you know we belong together, tell me you believe that too, Jason. You love me, I know you love me!"

At first she could tell that he heard her only because of how close she was standing next to him, but as she looked into his face she saw that he seemed to be far, far away at the same time. Finally, after what seemed like minutes of silence he spoke again, "do you know where we are?" He turned his head to look at her then and nodded his head towards the water. "This is where my life changed. This is the pier where I came that night, the night that I left my family alone, to go answer a call about business. This is where everything changed for me." He turned his head back towards the water, the forlorn, empty look still haunting his face. "This is where my wife dove for hours, trying to find me."

He stopped talking, again lost in his thoughts. Elizabeth needed to get his focus onto her. "You would have had a completely different life with us, Jason. If you had only made a different choice instead of leaving us, you would've never been out here that night, so none of this would've hap…"

He continued as if she hadn't spoken, "…I can almost see her in the frigid dark water, refusing to give up searching, refusing to give me up as lost."

He turned so he was fully facing her as he softly asked, "what did you do, Elizabeth? Did you search for me too? That night, when you heard what happened to me, what did you do…did you dive into the cold, dark waters looking for me, the supposed love of your life? Sam did. Sonny did. Gosh, even Spinelli did…but did you?" He didn't really expect an answer so when she only shook her head as though confused by his question he just continued, "you like to insult and talk down to Sam, talk bad about her, talk about old, outdated transgressions that she's more than made up for, but Elizabeth, you don't know the first thing about Sam's heart."

He watched her growing discomfort and saw that she was about to say something nasty, but he wasn't done. "I remember so much about her now. I remember everything that happened with the kidnapping, I remember how scared you were when you were threatened, and I remember how livid I was with Sam for setting that up. I was so disappointed in her because I knew her, I knew that if she had been thinking straight that Sam would never in a million years put my son, or anybody else's in danger. Never…not consciously, but she had been devastated and destroyed by what I did to her, what I allowed you to do to her."

He cocked his head to the side a little as he studied her face closely. "I also remember how much she apologized for everything, over and over, how compassionate she was towards you when you stumbled, how many times she put her life in danger to save Jake, to save me." He was nodding, watching the recollection crossing her face. "I remember her walking into a den of armed Russians to save our little boy, and jumping from a burning building just before it exploded, Jake safely wrapped in her arms." He shook his head, looking at her sadly, "you weren't there, Elizabeth, just like so many other times that Sam put herself and her life on the line for me, you weren't there, so you don't know. You talk about her as if she took something from you, you've even said that Jake's life would be different if it wasn't for Sam, but the truth is Elizabeth, I would be different if it wasn't for Sam. Everytime I try to live without her I end up making a mess of my life and I have a habit of getting involved with you each time that happens. I know that you would have talked me out of going to help Bernie, but what you don't get is that I would've resented you for it. When Bernie died I would've hated you for guilting me out of going to help a friend who needed me, and that's only one of many things you've never understood about me. You don't get me…but Sam does. She always has."

He took a step closer to her, looking her dead in the eye, "I can't live without her, and I'm really not trying to hurt you right now, but I've proven that I can live without you. I've been happier with Sam than I've been with anybody in my life, and she's the only thing that always makes sense to me."

Elizabeth was speechless the whole time. She couldn't find the words, couldn't understand what was happening. Jason bent his shoulders so that he was eye level with her, wanting to make sure that she understood once and for all. He spoke slowly and softly still, trying to be as clear as he could possibly be. "You and I don't work, and if you insist on trying to put us back together you will only end up hurting yourself, again. We do not belong together, and if you've never heard me when I said this before, please hear me now…I want my wife back, and I will run over you and anyone else who stand in my way of making that happen."

He stared at her for a long moment, having effectively silenced her signature whining, then walked past her up the stairs, to his SUV and out of her clutches.

Over at Kelly's Sam grabbed a cup of her favorite brew and pulled up a chair outside to enjoy the unusually warm day for the middle of winter. The sun was out and although there was a limit to its warmth, there was no limit to the bright array that it cast on the small town. Several people went in and out, obviously taking advantage of the beautiful clear day, much like herself, and as she fired up her laptop to go over her case notes, the smiling face of the tiny love of her life popped up, bringing the usual smile to hers, in response. Sam stroked the little screened cheek and took a deep breath, using the moment to relax and give thanks for all that she had in her life. She thought about the events of the preceding weeks and the turbulence they had unleashed, and she felt as though she had proverbially "found herself" again during that time. She thought of the bouts of anger that at times had threatened to consume her, filling her with the kind of murderous rage that had her wanting to beat people up and watch them bleed, mainly Elizabeth and Jason, and she savored the calm she was once again feeling in her soul.

Not only had she moved past the destructive anger that had eaten her up for weeks on end, but she had moved past Jason and Elizabeth. He was the romantic love of her life, always was and probably always would be, but her life had grown to be so much more than just Jason Morgan. Her son, the delightful little devil whom she hung the moon and the stars on was her entire world. The joy that she got from being Danny's mother was unmatched by anything else she'd ever experienced and she lived for his smiles, his contagious and infectious laughter, and his golden hugs that healed every wound she'd ever suffered. She learned the power of her son's hugs and kisses the minute his daddy had gone missing, and when nothing else was able to calm or soothe her devastating grief, Danny had been her only light. He was the very best thing she'd ever done with her life. Sam smiled wider at the still picture of his smiling face and sent a mental hug to her baby in that instant.

Finding out that Alexis was her mother had brought more family to her life, something she had spent many years without, something she had thought she'd never have again after her brother died and during that very dark period after she'd lost Jason to Elizabeth and his first son. Her world had gone dark, so dark that she'd unwittingly colored her soul to match, sinking down to a place so low that she had been lost to her very self. Her mother and sisters' love was what helped her out of that dismal position and gave her a reason to hope and dream and to live again. They had been her Godsend ever since, holding her up through every struggle, every stumble, every hurt, and celebrating her every feat. She was no longer alone, and even before she'd been blessed with her darling little boy, she'd stopped feeling alone…she had family.

Sam read through the first four pages of the case file and her thoughts drifted again to the blessings she had, one of them being her mode of living that filled her days, and some nights, with adventure and brain teasers, affording her the chance to do something that she loved, something she was extremely good at. Being her own boss had always been her way, even when she was running cons, she answered to herself, and she'd never been good at punching a clock and following instructions…brief stints in other careers where she'd tried and failed had taught her that much. Being her own Captain at sea, and now one-half of the best PI firm in town, was what she was most good at. Yes…her life was full and filled with good things, good people, and she'd made herself stop and remember each one, faring all the better for it. Thanks to that inner reflection she was calm now, she was cool, and she was certain that her blood pressure had ebbed in the last week. Not much would be able to wrangle her today.

Sam had been approached by Hayden Barnes to dig into the shooting that had left her in a brief coma a few months earlier. According to Hayden she had reason to believe that she had been the intended target of the shooting, and not Jake Doe as was originally thought, and although she would never be friends with Hayden after how she'd tried to use Jason at Ric Lansing's behest and checkbook, Sam was a professional. She was also invested in finding the second shooter if there was one, as her friend Sean had been imprisoned for the crime. If there was some chance that he was not to blame for Hayden's close brush with death, then she would find out, she simply had to. The firm's client roster had dwindled a bit over the years, what with Spinelli moving away to Portland and Sam engrossed in motherhood and life, but every so often she dusted off the old skills and fired up the deductive engines for a good cause. What they had uncovered so far, had certainly started to make Hayden's assumptions look more concrete.

With long distance cyber assistance from the one and only Jackal, Sam had uncovered that not only was Hayden the likely target of the shooting but that her seemingly respectable, gentlemanly, debonair cousin, Prince Nicholas Cassadine, heir to the fortune and Lord of Windermere, was the prime suspect. After the initial shock of uncovering her cousin's role in attempted murder, Sam reminded herself that this was the same cousin who had kept her husband's identity secret from all but one other…his longtime bed buddy and closest conspirator, the saintly, angelic debutant, Nurse Webber. Together they had plotted and lied to everyone's face for months, and Sam's loving cousin had practically gift-wrapped her husband and child's father in a bow and handed him over to his very dear friend, and his excuse when he was found out? He was doing Sam and Danny a favor because of how undeserving and dangerous Jason was. He was no good for his wife and child, but apparently he was good enough for the nurse and her brood. He was so far removed from the cousin who had been her friend and loyal supporter that he wasn't even recognizable anymore. The change was so drastic, so sudden that none of them had seen how far he'd fallen until there was no going back. Sam sighed thinking about them and the way they tried to rationalize their wickedness, when suddenly her eye latched onto something in her notes. She reread the discovery portion and watched the lightbulbs go off one by one.

Elizabeth hated Hayden, probably because she was sleeping with Nicholas, and everybody knows that once Elizabeth Webber tasted a man in Port Charles he was hers for life. No other woman better dare venture near him whether she wanted him or not, lest they fall prey to the wrath of the angelic one. She owned every man she'd ever slept with and that's why she thought laying claim to Sam's husband was her given right. Sam remembered Elizabeth's blatant distaste for Hayden, and recalled that despite her obvious and pronounced hatred, she had practically set up vigil at her bedside, constantly prodding Patrick for updates on the woman's condition. She was one of the first persons to see Hayden when she awoke from her coma, even though she wasn't even on duty at the time. She'd explained it as common empathy for Hayden's condition and the worshippers at the temple of Elizabeth hadn't even dreamed of questioning her motives. Too bad for her, Samantha Morgan was no worshipper. Retreating into her memories, Sam could now recall how nervous and fidgety Elizabeth had been around Hayden, how white she got when the subject of her waking came up. Maybe it hadn't been just about Hayden knowing who Jason was and was ready to tell him. Maybe there had been even more to the story. Of course, she thought, it could all be coincidence and Sam was just projecting her feelings of distrust and disgust for the creature, but it was certainly worth pursuing. Time to set out the rat traps. Sam edited her notes, mumbling to herself, "look out bitch, I'm coming for you."