I think he realized I was about to hit him, because he grabbed both my hands and thereby almost pushed himself up against me. He looked at me and shook his head. First he looked stern, but that expression soon changed to sadness. It seemed like he pitied me. Anger was still swirling inside of me, but his sudden change of expression had caught me off guard. I looked at him slightly puzzled. Our bodies were close and I was almost sure he could feel my racing heart thump against his chest. He didn't let go of my wrists and he didn't step back. The control he usually held, was slipping for the second time around me I realized. His breathing became heavier, but he forced himself to let go. He then looked around and I was pretty sure he was checking to see if anyone had seen us. Just like his feelings had changed and he had lost his control, I did too. My anger turned into lust and this time it was me who grabbed his wrists. I dragged him into the hallways. It seemed like he wanted to resist, but I left him no chance. As soon as we were alone, I pressed him against the wall. I would have just kissed him in the middle of The Great Hall, but I had some sense in me. I knew that would destroy him. I didn't immediately press my lips on his, though. I leaned forward and looked him directly into the eyes. My hand traveled to his hair and I twirled it around my finger. One hand lingered on his lower back. I could feel the soft strokes of breath that left his mouth against my lips and I leaned a bit further to him. His chest was heaving, he didn't struggle, but he also didn't come towards me. I did, however, see the longing I felt, reflected in his eyes. As soon as I realized that, I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips on his. It felt the same like last time, no wait, better even. The last time I hadn't longed so badly for his kiss. I had noticed him, yes, but I had only been attracted to his looks. Now I wasn't only attracted to his looks, but to him completely. Right at this moment, he seemed extremely hot and sexy, but I knew it was only a matter of time before I got bored of him. I knew how I worked. For only a small second I wondered if that was fair to him, but then he kissed me back and every thought got driven from my brain. His arms now wrapped around me and pulled me closer. I loved the fact that he was taller than me, I had never kissed someone who was taller than me.
We kissed for a while and then both pulled back to gasp for air. I leaned my forehead against his and studied his face. I had of course noticed the scars on his face, but from up close they were even more manicing. I bit my lip and trailed my finger from his hair to the rough skin on his face. He flinched as I touched the scars and pushed me away in shock. He shook his head and it only now seemed to dawn on him what had happened. He almost stumbled when he tried to back away.
'Don't go,' I almost begged. Something in my voice seemed to startle him. I, again, saw the same longing in his eyes as I had before, but this time he forced himself not to oblige. 'Please…if you really meant what you said earlier… about how you were sorry for ignoring me after our last kiss then you will stay.' I looked at him, pleadingly. I was still out of breath, just like him. Our chests heaved in the same, rapid rhythm.
'I meant I was sorry for kissing you,' he then said, 'not that I was sorry for ignoring you. It just shouldn't have happened, just like this.' His voice sounded uncharacteristically harsh. I swallowed and for one in my life I didn't have a retort ready. I just looked at him with a sad expression. After a few seconds, in which neither of us had moved, I pushed myself away from the wall and walked over to him. I grabbed his jacket, pulled him towards me and gave him a world chattering kiss. I didn't kiss him gently like the one before, but I kissed him rough. A kiss filled with longing for him. I left him breathless when I pulled away and looked at him fiercely.
'If that didn't do anything to you and you don't want to be kissed like that, walk away and I won't bother you again. If it dit, kiss me again and I will make sure you won't regret a second of it.' I stepped back and folded my arms over each other. I could see the mental battle going on inside of him. Most of the time he looked smaller than he was, because he walked a bit hunched. When he had spat at me, he seemed to grow in length, but now? He looked smaller than ever. I felt sorry for him. I knew how hard it was for him to challenge everything about yourself, you and others had ever believed, but I also knew that he couldn't lock up his true feelings. He didn't need to be in love with me, but he did need to stop pretending he wasn't interested in guys. If I could give him that, I could leave him in peace and we could go our separate ways. However, when I thought that, a small voice inside of me, told me that wasn't true. Somewhere deep down I knew I had never fallen head over heels for any guys like I had for him from the start. I pushed my own feelings away and looked at him intently. He still hadn't moved and I was still waiting for him to make a choice. My heart skipped a beat when he moved forward to me and I waited for him to take me and press his lips on mine, but he stopped halfway through. I could see something flicker inside of his eyes, it wasn't lust this time, it was fear. I was about to open my mouth and tell him it was going to be okay, but before I could do that, he had already made his decision. He turned around and walked away from me. I just stood there, startled and hurt. In that moment I wondered what on earth the sorting hat had thought, when he had placed that coward in Gryffindor, not for a moment wonder if there could be something else that was holding him back.