The Beginning of The End...
"SANS! SANS! GET OUT OF BED ALREADY!"
"*(groan) just a femur minutes."
"REALLY SANS, THIS EARLY? AT LEAST LET ME EAT MY BREAKFAST FIRST."
"*well that sounds like you're problem."
"NO JAPES! ARGH, I CAN ALREADY FEEL A MIGRAINE COMING ON."
"*well that sounds like-"
"NYEEH!"
Papyrus stomped off downstairs.
"TEN MINUTES!"
Sans chuckled to himself, he then closed his eye's and tried to get some more sleep.
He really was bone-tired this morning, it was because didn't get much sleep last night because he really wanted to get revenge on Undyne for what she said to his bro.
He decided the best way to do this at the current moment was to give her the worst night possible.
Before she decided to go to bed, he stuck bones and any loose change he could find into the cushions to make them lumpy and uncomfortable.
Then every five minutes he pretended to creep down the stairs, purposely stepping on all the creaky and loose boards.
He then made sure to turn the kitchen light on when Undyne was facing the kitchen.
And lastly, as loud as he could, he rummaged in the fridge pretending to look for midnight snacks. Careful not to disturb Papyrus's Spaghetti museum he would grab a single chip out of his packet of chips then leave.
To add the cherry on the cake, if he heard Undyne move/stur/groan or grumble, when he was making his way back, he made sure to say: "*sorry Undyne, did i wake you?" in a stage whisper.
(For those who don't know, a stage whisper is like whispering but loudly so it projects to the audience. It sounds like a whisper but you can hear every word without trying too hard.)
Sans would then creep back upstairs just as loudly as he creeped down, but he made sure to lighten his step when he got closer to the top of the stairs as not to wake Papyrus...that is...if he did sleep.
Of all his years with his bro, he had only seen him sleep several times, and that was when he was a baby bones.
Even after Sans read Papyrus his bedtime stories Pap would stay up for a good long while after.
He was always doing something, you wouldn't know this on account of how quiet he was, but if you peeked into his room you would see him either on his computer messing around on Undernet, practising poses and his fighting techniques, reading his puzzle manuals or Fluffy Bunny, eating some dinosaur egg oatmeal, rearranging his books and action figures by colour or monologuing about something he is currently doing, for example. "I AM MAKING MY BED, NOW I AM DUSTING THE TABLE."
He also can be seen sniffing oranges or hiding in his closet, Sans still doesn't know why though.
maybe i would know if he paid more attention to what Papyrus does all day.
Sans felt his heart ache as guilt set in.
"*welp, there goes my extra ten minutes of sleep."
He muttered and got out of bed, he started pulling on his jacket but hesitated.
it's almost that time of the year again, i should get something for Papyrus...
He looked down at his jacket and smiled.
heh, thanks Pap, i'll make sure to get you the best present ever this year.
"*I promise."
Sans went downstairs to find a very grumpy Undyne.
She was sitting upright on the couch with a blanket draped around her shoulders, her red hair was messy and falling out of its ponytail. There were dark bags under her almost bloodshot eyes. Her mouth was slightly open and small streaks of drool ran down her chin as her eyelids slowly dropped and her head nodded forward.
Sans couldn't resist this temptation. He quickly jumped onto the couch with one arm over Undynes shoulders but immediately regretted this as a bone in the cushion jabbed him in the back.
Undyne bolted upright, her eye's wide.
"*I'm up!"
"*good-morning fish-breath." Sans said and waved his hand in front of his face as if he smelt something vile.
"AH UNDYNE, YOUR AWAKE! I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL."
"*Yeh well, er..." Undyne mumbled and started nodding off again.
"AND SANS? I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU UP ALREADY, ARE YOU FEELING WELL?"
"*yeah of course bro, why wouldn't i be." Sans tried to keep the tension out of his voice as he fidgeted. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get comfortable and to make matters worse, the bone that was poking him in the back snapped and sharp shards stabbed his spine.
-0,0001 hp
"*ow."
A few shards must've stabbed Undyne too because she immediately jumped off the couch.
"*I think they are finished fixing my house, tHanK...you Papyrus for letting mE stay for the NigHt!" Undyne gave a really forced smile, her eye's were wide and her left eyelid was twitching.
"ANYTIME, IT WAS FUN...BUT PERHAPS YOU WOULD WANT SOME BREAKFAST FIRST?"
"*NO!...I am fIne thAnk you. See you for yoUr coOking leSson later...BYE!"
Undyne walked rather stiffly outside and towards WaterFall and left Papyrus and Sans sat in silence.
"HMM, UNDYNE LOOKED A BIT TROUBLED, I HOPE SHE'S ALRIGHT."
"*its probably because a human might come today."
"REALLY!? DO YOU REALLY THINK SO!?"
"*maybe, but we may have a gift giving miracle."
"YES! I AM CERTAIN THAT A HUMAN WILL COME TODAY! AND THEN...I WILL BECOME POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR! ALL THE MONSTERS WILL LOOK UP TO ME AND UNDYNE ME MAKE ME A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"
"*heh, chill bro, the human hasn't arrived yet."
"BUT THEY MIGHT HAVE! QUICK SANS! WE NEED TO GET BACK TO OUR POSTS!"
"*but what about breakfast?"
"THERE'S NO TIME FOR BREAKFAST! QUICK SANS LETS GO!"
And with that Papyrus ran outside and started running towards his sentry station.
Sans sighed and snapped his fingers, then popped next to his station.
Though he could've sworn he saw Pap frown as he ran out.
probably nothing.
Flowey bobbed up and down impatiently.
What is taking that human so long?
After the human killed Toriel they went back upstairs and wandered around the ruins a bit more, then got stuck at that pitfall trap.
It took them 10 minutes to solve it, again! Then they decided to go back to Toriel's house and stare at that Butterscotch Cinnamon pie for how long. Then they decided that they were a little sleepy, at least that is what I presume they felt.
They went back to MY and CHARA's room then stared at MY bed for another...I don't even remember how long!
After that the human started walking up and down the place, searching through drawers and the fridge, multiple times. Did they learn any manners!? Or are they so brain dead that they forget that they just searched...Oh MY GOD! They are looking in the fridge AGAIN!
Flowey felt like ripping his own petals off, this was so painful to watch.
"*You know what!? SCREW YOU!" The human didn't seem to hear flowey and went over to Toriel's pie again.
Flowey grumbled harsh words and popped underground, he had enough of this and decided to see what tubby and noodle were doing. Flowey chuckled at the new nicknames he came up with for them.
Sans stood by his station and started to doze.
"SANS, argh only you could sleep while standing up." Papyrus strolled over to Sans.
"*its my special talent."
"REALLY NOW." Pap replied in a sarcastic tone as he rolled his eyes.
"*yeah, i'm so good, i can do it with my eye's closed."
*Da Dun Tis*
Papyrus glared at his brother then looked away in disgust.
"*heh, funny huh?...yeah its a real rib tickler...zzzzZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzz."
"SANS!"
"*wha, what is it dude?"
"A HUMAN HAS FALLEN FROM THE SURFACE WORLD!" Sans's eye's shot open and he started looking around him.
"*woah! really?"
"...NO...*Nyeh*" (*Nyeh* was a sigh) Papyrus looked at his feet and crossed his arms.
"*heh, good one bro...you got me... heh...are..are you ok?"
"...I'M OKAY...IT'S JUST..." Papyrus looked up at Sans, he looked very sad and paler than usual.
"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN...DOING THIS?"
"*doing what?"
"..WAITING...FOR A HUMAN...IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME NOW AND...I JUST...WILL WE EVER... WILL A HUMAN EVER COME?" Papyrus looked down,
tears started to form in his eye's.
"*hey hey heeey," Sans put a hand on his brother's arm. "*don't say that, a human will fall someday, i know they will!"
Sans wiped Papyrus's tears away and beamed up at him, Papyrus looked down in Sans's eyes.
"DO YOU REALLY THINK SO?" Papyrus sounded desperate
"*of course! that's why, Undyne... has been preparing... her secret, weapon!"
"SECRET WEAPON?" Pap asked in Confusion
"*yeah, i heard she has been giving him SPECIAL one on one TRAINING."
"WHAT KIND OF TRAINING?"
heh, he took the bait.
"*well~" Sans looked up in the sky as if he was thinking hard. "*i heard she has been giving him a new type of training! one that nobody has seen before, she realised that you dont only need muscle, but brains too!"
Papyrus gave Sans a sideways look, and a few sweat drops appeared on the back of Sans's head.
"*so she found... not only the strongest monster, but the smartest, and is teaching him how to cook."
"COOK, HUH?" Papyrus sounded sarcastic again and looked annoyed.
"*yep, she knew that her AWESOME SECRET WEAPON could use these skills and make SPAGHETTI for the humans and they would give themselves up because of how GREAT and MEGA AWESOME her SECRET WEAPON is!"
"...GREAT?" Papyrus looked thoughtful.
"*yep he is VERY GREAT! and guess what?"
"WHAT?" Papyrus seemed genuinely interested now and leaned a little closer to Sans.
"*he didn't even need the training! he was already a FIVE STAR CHIEF and FOOD CRITIC!"
"WOWIE! REALLY!"
"*(hum of agreement) and do you know who this VERY GREAT MEGA AWESOME SECRET WEAPON who is also a FIVE STAR CHIEF and FOOD CRITIC and is SUPER HANDSOME is?"
"...METTATON?"
"*nope."
"...WHO?"
"*well im not really supposed to tell you...Undyne did tell me it was a secret..." Sans grinned inwardly to himself, this was his one yet! Papyrus is totally going to start begging him to tell him who the SECRET WEPON was.
"Oh...WELL IF IT IS A SECRET, THEN I GUESS THERE'S NO HELPING IT, I REALLY WOULD'VE LIKED TO KNOW WHO THIS GREAT AND HANDSOME MONSTER WAS...OH WELL." Dragging his feet, Papyrus started to walk away.
shit!
"*ah um well er...hah i guess i can make an exception for my little bro." Sans stammered.
"NO, THERE MUST BE A REASON SHE TOLD YOU THAN ME, AND I WILL NOT MAKE YOU TELL ME, YOU'RE VERY LUCKY SANS."
crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcprapcrapcrapcrapcrap
"*well uh you see uh Undyne said i could teLl you if ah you ah...(Lightbulb) find a lamp for my station!"
"A LAMP? WHY?"
"*well it's cause...ah.. it's a.. TEST! yes she wanted to see if you had the endurance to find a lamp and bring it to my station!" Sans's grinned innocently as sweat drops poured down the back of his head."
"..."
"*..."
"..."
"*...well...y..you.'d...better..go now...you're running out of time!" Sans looked at his wrist.
Without another word Papyrus bolted towards Snowdin and presumingly to the dump.
Sans let out a big sigh.
"*that, was close." Sans wiped the sweat off his brow and started t relax again.
That should buy me a femur minutes.
Sans chuckled to himself and slowly drifted off.
"*zzzZZzzzZZzz."
ARGH, even this is boring
Flowey pouted, and stared at Tubby.
This is worse than the human! at least they did something, all he's doing is sleeping!
Flowey groaned, then stuck his tongue out at Sans. No reaction.
"*Freaking fatass.." Flowey grumbled, then had an idea.
"*H..hey!...heehee, funny guy! i've got a joke for you! you're so fat pmph! y..you need two watches for each time zone your in! hahah." Flowey tried to stop his voice from cracking. He decided to be brave and crept a few steps closer to Sans.
"*hehheehee...y..you're so fat, everytime you turn around it's your birthday! heh."
"*zzzZzzzz *snort* zzzzz."
Flowey crept closer.
"*Your so short heh heh, I can look down on you!"
Flowey used his vines to hold onto the stations beam and pulled himself above Sans to prove his statement.
"*Your so fat! if you went on a diet you would end world hunger!"
Flowey looked down on Sans.
"*ooh this one is good heh, Papyrus is so stupi-"
"*HUH PAPYRUS!?" Sans immediately woke up startling flowey and making him fall into the snow. Flowey quickly scrambled behind the station and held his breath, it felt like his heart was in his throat...that is if he had one.
Flowey could hear Sans walking around, searching..
For me!
Flowey gulped and started trembling.
"*i swear i just..." Flowey heard something approaching.
Oh thank god.
"HUFF WHEEZE..."
"*hey bro, watts up?"
"I HAAA...GOT THE...LAMP." Flowey peaked out from behind his hiding place and saw Papyrus present Sans with a very conveniently shaped and ugly lamp.
Why does it look so conveniently shaped?
"WILL YOU TELL ME WHO THIS GREAT AND HANDSOME MONSTER IS NOW?"
"*yeah, if it will lighten your mood." Papyrus put the lamp down and ignored San's pun.
"SO?"
"*ok, but dont tell anybody." Sans went closer to Pap, Flowey leaned in closer too.
Is this a secret? I love secrets!
"*the VERY GREAT MEGA AWESOME SECRET WEAPON who is also a FIVE STAR CHIEF and FOOD CRITIC and is SUPER HANDSOME is..." Papyrus leaned closer and so did Flowey.
"*a cool skeleton whose name is...Papyrus!" There was a long pause from Papyrus as he absorbed this information.
Ah what! Lame...
Flowey rolled his eye's.
"*heh...yeah...it's a..you Pap..heh." Sans laughed uneasily and scratched the back of his head.
"...ah...WOWIE! REALLY! I'M HER SECRET WEAPON!"
"*yeah!"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THIS IS GREAT NEWS BROTHER! YOU KNOW WHAT! I'M GOING TO PREPARE SOME OF MY WORLD FAMOUS SPAGHETTI TO ENTICE THE HUMAN! IT WILL BE MY GREATEST PUZZLE YET!"
"*what if it gets cold?"
"HMMM YOUR RIGHT SANS...OH I KNOW! I'LL PUT OUR MICROWAVE NEXT TO IT SO THEY CAN HEAT IT UP!"
"*our microwave? nooo...not the microwave!" Sans grabbed Papyrus's arm weakly and pretended to pull him.
"IT'S SETTLED! OH AND SANS, TRY PUTTING A LITTLE MORE BACK-BONE INTO YOUR PUZZLES! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" And with that Papyrus ran towards Snowdin again.
Gross
Flowey decided to leave Tubby and catch up to Papyrus but hesitated.
...my god...I could've just gone underground when Tubby woke up instead of hiding.
*sigh* Flowey facepalmed then left.
After a bit of searching, Flowey found Papyrus sitting on a stump looking into the stream the flowed by. Papyrus looked down, he was holding his head up with his hands.
"*Howdy." Papyrus jumped and Flowey smiled warmly back at him.
"OH GREETINGS FLOWEY, I DIDN'T SEE YOU ARRIVE." Papyrus straightened himself up and smiled back at his friend.
"*Is something the matter Papyrus?" Flowey put on his best concerned face.
"NO NO, I'M FINE.."
"*You can tell me anything Papyrus, I dont like it when my only friend is feeling down and doesn't tell me whats wrong."
"ONLY FRIEND?"
"*Don't you trust me?" Flowey said quickly.
"OH COURSE I DO, I JUST DON'T WANT TO WORRY YOU."
"*I still wanna know, or i'll sit here and sulk with you hmph." Flowey swallowed hard, sometimes it was really hard to play the innocent act.
"NYEH HEH, OKAY I'LL TELL YOU."
"*Yay!" Flowey made a little dance by wiggling his steam from side to side.
"*So what's up?"
"...IT'S ABOUT SOMETHING SANS TOLD ME EARLIER..."
"*Did he irritate you with his puns again? I told you to ignore them."
"NO NO, IT WAS SOMETHING ELSE...YOU SEE UNDYNE TOLD SANS I WAS HER SECRET WEAPON AGAINST HUMANS AND THAT I WAS REALLY COOL AND GREAT..."
"*sooo?" Flowey regretted starting this conversation, it sounded like it was going to be all dramatic and sad as hell.
Blurgh
"WELL I'M SURE SHE JUST TOLD SANS THAT SO HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY WHICH I AM GRATEFUL FOR..."
"*but.." Flowey wished he could just leave but since he couldn't SAVE or LOAD anymore he would rather not burn down his bridges, he can still use Papyrus.
"BUT..I DON'T THINK SHE WILL EVER LET ME JOIN THE ROYAL GUARDS..*NYEH*"
"*Shocker..." Flowey rolled his eye's again.
"NYEH?"
"*Ah I mean shocker! do you really think so?" Flowey put as much concern in his voice as he could.
"YES...I'VE NOTICED SHE BECOME MORE IMPATIENT WHEN IT COME TO MY COOKING LESSONS." An evil thought crossed Flowey's mind.
"I bet she will let you join if you catch a Human."
"NYEH?"
"*And I just happened to see one not to long ago..."
Sans walked over to the Big Doors, when he noticed them opening.
what? no way
Sans went behind a tree and scanned the area, sure enough, he saw a small child exit through the doors. The child started walking towards Pap's fence.
Sans decided to teleport behind them but as he clicked his fingers he saw the kid's eyes and got the fright of his life, he stumbled and accidentally appeared in the air.
shit
Sans fell and landed straight onto that big stick Sans put in the path a long time ago, the stick snapped and Sans quickly popped behind a tree.
heh oops, Pap is going to have my head with this, breaking my one and only puzzle.
The Human didn't so much as bat and eye at the stick and continued walking forward.
weird..
Sans ran up behind the kid and hid behind another tree, the human stopped and the foot of the fence and just stood there.
Sans got his whoopee cushion ready and walked over to the kid. With each step he made, the feeling of dread grew bigger and bigger.
this is crazy, and i afraid of a kid!? no, it's probably because i haven't had breakfast yet, yeah heh heh.
Sans stopped just behind the kid and mustered up the strength the speak to it.
"*HUMAN." The human straight up turned around, Sans extended his hand and it grabbed it. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Sans met it's eye's once more,
every inch of him told him to kill it, Sans could feel that pupils had disappeared, he wanted to run but his body wouldn't let him move. It looked up at him and returned his gaze, then smiled. Sans could feel chills running through him. It's eye's looked dead and almost as threatening as it's smile.
what the fuck...this...what the hell is this thing!? this can't be human.
The world continued moving around him but this moment when he grabbed it's hand still felt like eternity.
*burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrphch"
Wasn't sure what a whoopee cushion sounded like =/