A/N: This chapter was the hardest to write so far! Also, the longest, so that's nice, especially since I doubt I'll get any more than one other update out over the long weekend. Busy, and all that. R&R, hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Kim Possible and affiliated licenses do not belong to me, I'm simply borrowing them for my own use, and for your entertainment.
The Strange Life After
Chapter 5: Cakewalk
Having nowhere to sleep, Ron elected to spend the last few dollars in his pocket on a sparse sleeping bag and pillow from the local Smarty-Mart, which he set up (over Shego's protests that 'that's what hotels are for') on the top floor of the firm. Since his presence there meant that she would be unable to set the alarms, Shego stuck him with another job during the night: watching over the building and its contents. Of course the assignment was strictly a formality, as the odds of the building being disturbed were slim to none, being located in the more upper-crust part of the city. After making himself as comfortable as possible on his bare-bones sleep setup, Ron slept fitfully despite the events of the day, probably due to exhaustion.
He awoke the next morning with a start, jolted from his rest by the obnoxious sound of Drakken yelling his name in his ear. 'Huh? Great, just when I thought things couldn't get any better'. He sprang into a combative stance within an instance of opening his eyes, to the sound of a slow clap from behind him.
"Not bad", Shego drawled, picking up and tossing the tape-recorder into the trash bin. "There may be hope for you yet, Stoppable."
"That your idea of a wake-up call?" Ron griped, gesturing towards the source of the offending canned sound-bite.
"Got you on the alert, didn't it?" she replied curtly.
Ron shrugged, reluctantly returning to a more casual stance. "I guess. I should have known better, though. Remembering my name never was Drakken's strong point…where did you get that from, anyway?"
Shego chuckled, a strangely melodic sound. "It's just a quick grab from old footage of the Diablo incident. Thought it would be an interesting way to get your attention…"
"Or something" Ron finished, frowning. "So, now that you've ruined my morning, what's on the agenda for today?"
Shego glared daggers at him, but let the comment pass. "Well, I mentioned yesterday that we had a field assignment. That's gonna happen around 4 this afternoon. So until then, time to relax."
"So, if we get to relax, why wake me up? Another test, I'm guessing?" Ron asked, a tad confused, to say nothing of his obvious irritation.
"You got it" she replied simply. "But I should probably clarify: I get to relax. You get to spend this morning training. I can't have you watching my back if you can't even defend yourself."
Ron sighed. 'Figures. Still, she's got a point. I'm a little out of shape to be working at a private security firm.' He gave her a nod of acceptance before heading for the gym. He was surprised when she followed close behind him.
"I need to see how you fight" she answered at his confused glance.
Despite doctor's orders to take it easy, Ron found himself being pushed to his breaking point for the next hour and half, his 'trainer' barking new orders every few seconds. His surprise was palpable when, after he collapsed in exhaustion, Shego volunteered a small canteen. He took it gratefully, before spluttering at its foul-tasting contents.
"Ugh! What is this?" he asked sourly.
"Protein-building supplement" she responded matter-of-factly. "I need you recovered by this afternoon, and that means you'll need to build some stamina back up before then. For today, I guess you're done." She stripped off her coat, revealing a simple black sports bra and sweat-shorts. "My turn" she stated simply, stretching.
Ron averted his eyes, despite a certain part of his anatomy…eh, suggesting that he take in the show. This action was not lost on Shego. 'Heh. Smart, kid' she thought with a smirk before going to work on the speed bag.
Ron shuffled over to the sidelines, watching her form intently, successfully managing to keep things strictly analytical (for which he gave himself no small praise). She took a break after about an hour, toweling off and joining him near the door.
"Impressed? That, Stoppable, is years of experience in action" Shego said, oblivious to the bouncing of her sizable…assets, despite their constriction. Ron found his eyes traveling downwards of their own accord, but thankfully his self-preservation instinct kicked in before they reached their final destination.
Again, this did not go unnoticed, although Shego did appreciate the young man's effort at decency. 'Typical male' she thought, allowing herself an audible snort before throwing a punch that stopped just short of his face. Ron gulped, realizing his blunder, but was shocked to find himself still breathing.
"C'mon" she said, moving towards the door. "Lunch." After running one more vitals check, Ron shuffled after her, hurried on by the prospect of food.
The office had no table (courtesy of Ron, as Shego was quick to remind him), so they elected to sit in at the local grocer and consume food from the deli.
'Okay, so it's not Bueno Nacho, but I'll take it!' Ron thought with a grin, practically inhaling his sandwich.
Shego looked on in disgust at the greedy display, but said nothing. It was Ron, after he was finished, who initiated conversation.
"So…" he began tentatively, chasing a tomato seed around his plate with his fork.
"'So'…what?" Shego replied, eyebrow raised.
He finally decided to start with as safe a question as he could think of. "So…how did you get into this? The security thing, I mean?"
"I already told you" she answered irritably, "I was pardoned".
"Not what I meant and you know it" Ron countered, shocking both with his boldness.
"Let's get one thing straight right now, Stoppable" she began with a sneer. "I'm not your buddy. I'm not here for you make friends with. We're working together, nothing more. Am I clear on that?"
"Yeah" Ron answered. The pregnant pause that followed was broken by Ron's belated justification. "I just mean…I don't know. I worked with KP for years, and part of me thinks that the reason we worked so well together was because we knew each other. I'm not trying to make friends, I just thought we might work together better if I know who I'm partnered with."
It was an obviously untrue excuse and they both knew it, but she reluctantly answered him anyway. "Well", she said, taking another bite before continuing. "I guess I needed to find work that I knew how to do. I had money from working for Dr. D, so I figured I'd start a business. I'm good at espionage, private security came naturally. Shouldn't that much be obvious?" she finished with a biting edge.
"Well, yeah, I guess, but…" Ron reflected for the briefest of seconds before part of her explanation caught his attention. "Wait a minute, they let you keep your Drakken money?"
'Typical Team Possible, first concern is the legal aspect' Shego grimaced. "Not exactly. I mean, under the law I can only get paid for services legally rendered, so I wasn't eligible to keep…well, anything, really. But then, there wasn't exactly much reason for GJ to take it, either. They figured it would save time and energy to just write it off as a loss and let me on my way." She smirked again at his widened eyes. "Not the answer you were expecting, Mr. Idealist?"
Ron rubbed his neck nervously. "Well, not really, but I mean…yeah, I guess it's just a waste of resources to re-check every single cent to find out who it came from, to say nothing of the stuff you'd already spent."
It was Shego's turn to be confused. 'He's really serious, isn't he? He doesn't give a red cent about it? Heh, if little Miss Perfect could see her man now.'
"So…is there a reason you have a three story building with only one employee?" Ron asked, changing topics to more comfortable ground.
"Well, I obviously didn't intend to work all this time alone. Doy!" she responded with a sweep of the hand. "I just haven't had any promising applicants. Anyone with actual experience doing this sort of thing knows who I am, so they don't even bother throwing their name in. And anyone else is too naïve to be of any use."
"But not me?" Ron asked, getting the chance to raise HIS eyebrow.
"Heh. I didn't say that, Stoppable. The difference is that thanks to your debt, you didn't have a choice. But for what it's worth, yeah. I WOULD consider you closer to the experience level of a veteran than a rookie. I mean, you've survived this long, haven't you? Granted, I have no idea HOW…" she dismissed caustically.
'Did she just compliment me? I mean, yeah, it was a left-handed one, but still…' Ron looked around for signs of the impending apocalypse for a moment. Satisfied, but disbelieving, he switched query.
"And another thing, what does 'private security' even mean?" he ventured. "Common sense says, like, a body guard or something. But from what you've told me it sounds more like glorified mercenary work. What's up with that?"
Shego was taken slightly aback at that. 'He's a little sharper than I thought. Huh. Who knew?' Another dismissive wave. "You're right on target there" she replied after a second. "'Private security' is basically a blanket label for high-dollar mercs. Also, it sound a hell of a lot nicer on paper than 'freelance mercenary'."
Satisfied at the answer, but surprised at her honesty, Ron chanced at asking one more question. "So, putting all of that aside, how come you left Drakken? I mean, he went legitimate too…"
"That one's none of your business!" she snapped angrily.
Once again, Ron Stoppable couldn't curb his tendency for foot-in-mouth. "What? I was just curious is all…I mean you guys did look pretty cozy at the end there."
Ron's first awareness after the statement was the blood blotting out of his mouth, presumably from her punch, although it happened so fast he wasn't sure. THEN came the pain. "So-rry" he choked out, feeling as though he would vomit.
"Those answers are WAY above your pay-grade, Stoppable" she hissed violently, looking around to make sure her outburst hadn't attracted any attention.
"You're not paying me" he found it in himself to start, which promptly led to his being dragged violently out of the store by the collar.
"Exactly" she responded harshly, looking over her shoulder at him with disdain. "We're done playing twenty questions now."
The remainder of the time leading up to the afternoon's mission was spent in uncomfortable silence, Ron constantly looking over his shoulder for fear of a sudden violent end.
She finally spoke again as she led him up to the helipad on the roof, a feature he hadn't previously noted.
"So, since you insist on grilling me about my relationship, what happened between you and Kimmie? It's not like little Miss Perfect to let her boyfriend go running off on his own" she sneered. The tell-tale blue flash passed across Ron's eyes as he rounded on her, fist primed. She blocked the blow with ease.
"THAT'S what I was waiting for!" she said without missing a beat. "That's what we need."
Ron amped down just in time to be confused and frightened for his life simultaneously. "What are you talking about?" he asked, dazed. 'No one's EVER managed to dodge the monkey powers that easily'. Still, his monkey powers had never sat well with him, and he was relieved that he'd been so easily diffused. After all he hadn't intended to attack Shego, and if he was honest with himself, he was lucky to have gotten out of his first outburst unscathed. He didn't need to have another.
She elaborated. "I never knew you had it in you before, Stoppable. That thing you do, when you get pissed off. That's what's gonna give us the edge in tough scrapes. Now we need to work on how to hone that skill so you can use it whenever we need it."
"So, wait, that was another test?" Ron asked.
"Essentially, yeah. Now come on, get in the heli. We've got work to do."
She climbed into the pilot's seat, making Ron squirm a bit. "Uh, Shego? You do know how to fly one of these, right?" His answer was an obnoxious snort, followed by a (deliberately, he suspected) jolty takeoff.
"So listen up!" Shego yelled over the sound of their transport. "We're gonna retrieve some high-dollar microchip that some company lost. Apparently it was stolen, and they want it back."
"Do we know who stole it?" Ron asked, struggling to be heard over the noise.
"Doy!" came the response, distorted through the whirring of the blades. "How do you think I know where to go? Gotta think, there, sport."
"So what's the plan?" Ron asked hesitantly.
"Simple. I slip in, take what we need, and get out. You're job is to make sure the way is clear for me. In theory, you take out the guards by force. In practice, it'll probably be more like what you did for Kimmie: distraction, for as long as possible. Should be pretty simple, you can deal with a few overworked, underpaid thugs, right?"
Ron grimaced. It wasn't that he couldn't deal with opposition, it was just that he had hoped he wouldn't have to, still being more than a little sore. Although if he was being honest with himself, he wasn't exactly confident in his ability to fight, either, having only the barest and most clumsy of experience from the mission days.
"I can handle it" he replied, sounding much more sure than he felt.
"Good. Should be a real cakewalk then" Shego responded skeptically.
Ron exited first, stumbling clumsily out the side of the helicopter, faceplanting on the ground. 'Yupp, I've still got it' he thought sarcastically. He turned to his companion. "I would say 'just like old times, but…" he stopped, trying to get re-focused.
"You still owe me that story about you and Princess, Stoppable. I answered all of your questions, I expect you to answer mine" she replied nonchalantly, removing a few items from her bag in the heli.
"I-I do?" he asked, surprised (and not pleasantly so).
"Yeah. Later" she said, feeling for pressure points in the roof. Finding one, she melted a hole just barely big enough to fit through, and slipped in silently. 'Oh, she's good' Ron thought obviously.
He readied himself, before slipping on a balaclava and Night-Vision goggles, fastening a rope to the roof, and rappelling down the side. He deliberately crashed through the top window of the lair, setting off countless alarms and raising every one of the room's three visible guards to full alertness. 'They were sleeping? Wow, she wasn't kidding about the 'overworked' thing. And why so few? Is this guy hurting for money THAT badly?'
Ron had scarcely finished that thought before he became aware, more from his gut than his head, of another three guards trying to get the drop on the new intruder. He sighed under his mask. 'Just had to jinx it, huh Ron-man?' He whipped around and gave the first a swift kick in the groin, effectively taking him out of the fight early, as he crumpled in a heap.
"Rule one when you're getting paid to be in fights" Ron quipped, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. "Wear a cup" he finished, punctuating the statement with a clumsy elbow to the face of the guard behind him. It didn't have the desired effect, as the guard quickly restrained his arms. Ron countered this by wrestling one hand loose and tossing a smoke bomb he had 'liberated' from Shego's bag.
"Okay, this is sooo not my department…" Ron griped, lashing out with what he hoped was a well-placed kick. Sure enough, he clipped the guard to his immediate front and center with a kick in the gut, dropping him for just a second. 'Long enough to focus on getting free' he thought with a grimace. Deciding that they probably would expect the obvious first, he made with a half-hearted attempt to wrench free, hoping to slip his other arm out when the guard repositioned him for a better grip. This strategy, combined with the smoke impairing his captor, proved rewarding. He turned on his goggles to combat the smoke-effect, leaving himself the only un-handicapped fighter in the room.
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he whipped around with a swift uppercut, felling his prior captor before launching himself with a spring towards the next guard, hitting him hard in the chest with his shoulder. Ron took advantage of the man's momentary stun with a clumsy haymaker, knocking him out. He dived into a roll, and repeated the process with the next guard, but was rewarded with a kick in HIS groin for his troubles. "Ah ah ah" Ron said, almost completely indifferent. "I always follow my own advice!" He thrust his knee upward, pulling the man's face down toward it. The 'snap' he heard was simultaneously sickening and cathartic.
By now the remaining two guards were wise to his body-slams, and went on the offensive. One went for a sweep to Ron's leg, the other made to punch him in the face. Both were felled by green plasma originating from out of Ron's field of view.
"Booyah!" he yelled as they fell at his feet. "Man that felt good! Any more playmates?" he joked, turning around to face his employer. His face suddenly turned serious upon realizing that they were, indeed, alone. "Shego? Is it just me, or did this seem—"
"Way too easy?" she finished for him. "Yeah, this SCREAMS set up, but I'm not sure why they would bother. I got the chip, and I made sure it's not a decoy, so why bother stealing an expensive microchip just to bait someone? It's not like they could have known I'd be the one these guys hired-"
Ron felt like a bit like he had stepped into 'The Matrix' as he instinctively grabbed Shego around the waist and dove for cover without knowing why, just as copious amounts gunfire ripped into the wall near where they had been.
"How did you—"
"I don't know" he cut her off honestly.
"Whatever, it doesn't matter. Any ideas?" she asked.
"Um, no! You're the idea person! The Ron-man is just here to look good and follow orders" Ron responded half-joking.
"Oh, you're a great partner. Complaining that I order you around too much one day, asking me for orders the next!" she shouted. "Whatever, we don't have time for this". She peaked out as far as she dared from their cover, taking stock. "They're automated turrets!" She turned to him. "Stoppable, find the power source, ASAP!"
Ron looked for cover nearby, finding it in the form of a concrete pillar located about twenty feet to his left. Bracing himself, he sprung forward, diving into a roll at the half way mark, rolling about five feet, and scrambling the last three. Ron checked his vitals yet again that day, in utter disbelief that he had once again cheated death.
Soon enough, he spotted the terminal bank built into the wall a few feet away, which was hopefully the source of the room's security. Taking a chance, he yelled to his partner, pointing it out. She shot him a confused look, dismayed at his belief that something so obvious would work. "FRY IT!" he yelled. She responded with a half-hearted attempt, which quickly demonstrated the futility of Ron's idea as the plasma bounced harmlessly off the reflective surface, the new trajectory sending towards the unshielded guns, taking one offline. His cover slowly eroding under fire, this sight blessed Ron with a new idea. "FRY THE GUNS!" He gestured to the glass, trying his best to make a 'ricochet' motion with his hands, then pointed to the turrets.
Understanding, Shego began to measure out the trajectory of her blasts, then let loose a volley of a half-dozen, coming within centimeters of Ron's face as they passed.
Within a second, the gunfire had ceased. "Could we have done that WITHOUT putting my life at risk?" Ron asked, shell-shocked.
"Nope" she responded with an evil grin. "Let's get the hell out of dodge before they throw more toys at us."
"I agree!" Ron squeaked, following as closely as possible.
Somehow, they made it back up to the roof without incident. "Something was very wrong in there…they WANTED us to take this chip back. Almost no guards, unshielded turrets…there might as well have been no resistance at all" Shego analyzed.
Ron , for his part, couldn't think of an experience that…intense, in all the times he'd been with Kim. 'Although I know I've faced worse before. I must be rustier than I thought.'
Shego spoke again. "Little different from your playtime with Kimmie, huh?"
"Yeah. A little" Ron replied dazedly as they took off again.
A/N: Aaaaaaand that brings the crappiest action sequence ever written to it's oh-so-stunning conclusion. Sorry, guys. Not my forte, I'm afraid. Pointers would be nice, so I can go back and improve this part later. As always, reviews appreciated. Thanks!
:)