Sorry about the wait, everyone. I've just been very busy, and I don't expect that to change any time soon unfortunately. Still, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I think this is a better indicator of how my story will be. Downright impossible scenarios made possible by the plot hole messing with the people of Remnant.

Enjoy!

Chapter 3: The Varying Wizards of Oz

Professors Ozpin, Goodwich, Oobleck, and Port all stood around the swirling vortex that had come to be called 'the plot hole'. They were currently discussing the recent development that had occurred. "And you say that you watched it grow?" the headmaster asked Port.

"Indeed. I'd just subdued the rampaging student, and made quite the inspiring speech about responsibility to her might I add, when- Oh wake up Barty, I'm not that bad!" shaking the dozing huntsman awake, Port continued. "As I was saying, the plot hole began to grow. It hasn't increased in size greatly, but my instincts told me this was most important, so I came directly to you!"

Ozpin pondered what it could mean, and stepped closer to the plot hole. As he did, the old man heard a faint sound, as if someone was whispering to him. "Ozpin?" Goodwitch asked, concern evident on her face, but fell quiet when her boss held his hand up. He drew closer still, he could almost understand it. The voice was quiet, repeating a single word over and over again. 'What is it saying? What could it mean?'

So close! It felt as if it was just beyond his understanding, just too quiet! Coming closer and closer, Ozpin could feel that he was on the brink of hearing it. "Ozpin!?" the combat instructor called again, this time silenced with a "shh" from the man. Nearly touching the plot hole, Ozpin's eyes widened in surprise when he finally understood the mysterious voice.

"Gotcha."

Ozpin's stomach churned as he was pulled forward into the void. His colleagues were unable to catch him before he disappeared fully. "Headmaster!" Glynda cried, moving to enter the plot hole as well, before her was held back by Oobleck.

"Professor Goodwitch, we know not what is on the other side of that portal. If the professor can return, he will. If not, none of us would be able to either- we cannot go in after him safely!" The plot hole swelled to a new size, before a man with a green suit and grey hair tumbled out of it.

"See? There was nothing to-" Then another man, identical, fell out and landed on top of the first. "I stand corrected." Again, another emerged from the plot hole, and another after that.

One minute, and three additional Ozpins later, the plot hole ceased to create more headmasters. "This may be a larger issue than I'd first anticipated," Doctor Oobleck noted.

"Okay, seven Ozpins… I'm not sure how to react to this." Goodwitch stated as she watch the new arrivals pull themselves off the floor. One of them looked as shocked as she was, and moved to stand beside her. Oobleck inspected the clones closely.

"Simply amazing! They are all physically identical to the headmaster we know! I wonder if they are the same in personality as well." One of the copies who stood before him shouted in indignation. "I am no subject to be observed and questioned! Kneel before me, you pathetic servant, and I may show mercy!"

The room was silent for a moment, before the doctor spoke up again. "Evidently not."

"Well, that seems like a bit of a problem," one of the other Ozpins said, "you should probably get on that Glynda. I'm going for a coffee, Bartholomew, care to join me?" The hyperactive professor normally would have, but this was so much more interesting, he couldn't accept.

"I know! We should lock him up and question him with our most effective torture methods until we can ascertain his plans!" Yet another exclaimed. "One of you, prepare a cell for him, I'll get… the country music CDs!"

One more clone spoke up, "you guys do that, I have some matchmaking to do. Imagine the next generation of hunters, if only we could get the greatest students of our time to start families together- we could end the Grimm threat forever!"

Goodwitch narrowed her eyes. If he was really suggesting what she thought he was, this headmaster was going to be at the top of her watch-list. "Not to bother any of you," said the professor beside the rest of Beacons staff- Goodwitch assumed this was the original Ozpin, "but has anyone noticed that one of me has yet to get up?"

Looking down beneath the plot hole, there lied the still form of the headmaster. "Uh oh. This one's dead. Someone slit his throat!" The Ozpin who'd noticed this covered his mouth with his hands. "One of us is a murderer!"

All eyes turned to the first Ozpin who had spoken, the one with the aggressive attitude. "Oh do shut up you blithering idiot. He was dead when we arrived, I had nothing to do with it."

"I hate to interrupt, but what is going on right now!?" Port bellowed, finally fed up with the situation around him. He was a huntsman for Dust's sake, he didn't sign up to deal with this insanity! The final, and so far silent, Ozpin stepped into the middle of the room.

"It would appear that through some process, we have all been brought to this world from our own. In each universe of ours, we are different, and now that we are in one place, it is causing much confusion. I suggest some manner of distinguishing one-another." Walking over to Port's desk, he pulled out a stack of name tags and a pen.

He returned to his position, and held the items out for Goodwitch to take. "Seeing as how we can only be distinguished by our personalities, and to each of us we are our normal selves, it is up to a third party to decide what attribute best describes each of us."

Nodding, Goodwitch wrote down her impressions of each Ozpin, and went around handing them the name tags to place above their left breast. In the order they had spoke, she wrote down the adjectives. Evil, lazy, insane, creepy, normal, and calm. As she'd expected, a couple of them had comments for her.

"Creepy? I'm not creepy! I simply want to see love blossom, even if it means making two students realize just how much they love each other."

"Are you going to put a name tag on the dead one? What if someone tries to impersonate him!"

"But… he's dead." Oobleck responded in confusion.

"Exactly! It's the last thing we would expect! Also, I resent being called insane."

Goodwitch sighed. "You thought we should torture someone with music." When she said this, the man looked her in the eye with a dead serious expression on his face.

"No, I don't believe we should ever do that to a person, I only believed that we had to, for the safety of Remnant. It is a burden I was willing to bear, but do not presume I took that matter lightly, or that it was a desirable option. I felt it was our only option."

"Rrrr." Goodwitch was very tired of these imposter Ozpins already, the only one who she would call bearable was Calm. So long as she could keep them together in this room, she had equal chances of returning them to wherever they came from and killing one of them.

That, however, mattered little as her worst fear was soon realized. Insane Ozpin stood up, stretched, and walked toward the door. "Well, I'm off to run my school. Anyone care to join me?" With that, he and four others left the classroom, leaving only the original staff members and Calm Ozpin.

"Professor Goodwitch, I know that you want to round them up and bring them back here, but until you know how to send us all back, it will be fruitless. We must find out how to fix this before you can go after all of them." The calm and wise duplicate said.

A knock at the door drew their attention, as Nora Valkyrie stepped in. "Uh… I was coming by to say sorry to Professor Goodwitch for causing so many problems yesterday, Renny said it would be the polite thing to do, but I just saw a bunch of Ozpins run out of here so I think I should come back when you're less busy."

"Actually, Miss Valkyrie, I could use your help." The combat instructor said, raising a hand to stop the girl from leaving. "Do you have any idea where Chaos is? We need to ask him a question." The hammer-user let out a 'hmmm', before snapping her fingers. "I think I can get him for you, I'm starting to get the hang of this new semblance stuff!"

Clearing her throat, the girl said dramatically, "Things couldn't possibly get worse." As she said this, a light fixture fell from the ceiling and smashed professor Port in the head, causing him to let out a pained cry. Laughing awkwardly, Nora said, "oops, still working out the finer details."

Trying again in the same tone of voice, now with the rotund man watching for any falling objects, Nora exclaimed, "The only way things could get worse was if Chaos came by to rub it in!" The door swung open.

"Helloooo! Did I just see several headmasters on their way to sow chaos and destruction throughout the school?"

"Ah, see, the problem with the first one was I wasn't specific enough. You learn something new every day!" Nora explained cheerfully.

"Yes, it is hilarious, Chaos. It's incredibly funny." Glynda said the words begrudgingly. She had realized the only way to get Chaos to cooperate with you was to humor him. "My school being thrown into chaos by a group of identical Ozpins is ironic." She winced as she described the situation as such, despite not being ironic in the slightest. 'Anything to get this moron to tell me how to return them to where they came from.'

Chaos finished laughing, wiped a tear from his eye, and stood up to leave. "Wait, before you leave, tell me how to get rid of these imposters."

"Oh, simple, just have them walk back through the portal in the order they entered." Glynda froze and stared at the man ahead of her who was now smirking. "Ever heard of Occam's Razor? The correct answer is often the simplest one... well, that's paraphrasing it, but close enough."

Something still felt off to Goodwitch, and it was something very easily identified. "Why did you tell me so quickly? No jumping through hoops, no payment, nothing- it's not like you." Again, that ever-present smirk grew on Chaos's face.

"Because I know how this ends. I know exactly what will happen, and let me tell you, that is well worth the price of helping you without repayment." Turning to face her, the smile on her new nemesis's face was borderline malevolent. "Simply put, you will fail, and I can't wait to see it with my own eyes."

Crossing her arms over her chest, the combat instructor glared at him. "Oh? And how would you know the future?"

"Silly Glynda," Chaos chided, "I thought you'd learned than to ask questions like that by now." With that, he left Goodwitch to think over what he'd said.

Turning to her associates, she started handing out orders. "Peter, Bart, you two keep the school in working order, and try to limit any damage these lunatics cause. Ozpin stay behind and keep watch over the ones we get back here. Once they're all together, we can send them home."

Realizing that there was already one imposter Ozpin here she could trust, Goodwitch dished out one final request. "Actually, Calm, would you mind tracking down Lazy? You seem to be rather level-headed, and he should be the easiest to convince. I trust that you'll come back of your own accord, and that you're capable of persuading him to do so as well."

After receiving nods from her fellow staff, Glynda created a mental list of all the Ozpins she had to collect, and the order in which she should get them.

First up was the evil one. Of all the arrivals, he was the only downright dangerous one. The others could be frustrating or annoying, but it seemed his only mission was to cause as much damage as possible before leaving.

Next would be Insane, Glynda didn't trust him, and he was certainly the most unpredictable of their group. She had little doubt he'd do whatever was necessary to hang around and annoy her for the fun of it.

Finally, she would go after creepy Ozpin. He seemed… mostly harmless, just weird and inappropriate. Glynda doubted he'd be able to culture any relationships between students in such a short amount of time, but he was still an issue to be dealt with.

All that left was Calm who was going to get Lazy, the original Ozpin, and the corpse in the corner. 'I don't want to think about the world that one came from,' the witch thought with a shudder. So long as she reached them all in time, this crisis could be managed easily.

Evil only had a short amount of time to cause pain and suffering in this universe. As to why, well his motivation wasn't ever fully developed; but he was sure it would be something ingenious when the writer got around to that part.

To cause serious damage, Ozpin needed to destroy a valuable asset. He just so happened to know about a certain Fall Maiden that he'd kept in a vault. In his world, he had been planning to find a way to take the powers, despite not being a woman. Sure being called maiden wouldn't be ideal, but the raw power he would hold outweighed any other consequence.

If his theory was correct, this world's Ozpin would have her there as well, though most likely for some noble purpose. 'Ugh.'

It wouldn't take that annoying assistant of Ozpin's long to figure out his first target would be the most powerful asset on the school's grounds, so he had to work quickly. Reaching the pod, he began typing in the control console, searching for a way to remove Amber from this world.

"Life support… life support… where are you?" As if in answer to his rhetorical question, the screen displayed the woman's vitals, and the different measures in place to keep her stable. "Ahhh, there we go."

Pulling up a blueprint of the device, Ozpin located a few key parts to sabotage, and was preparing to dismantle the machine when an angry combat professor entered the hall and stormed toward him.

"Oh… Uh… Hello, Glynda dear. I was just checking this equipment to make sure that my evil duplicate had not gotten to Amber first. While devilishly handsome, he must not be allowed to harm her! I will keep watch here, you track him down." Glynda crossed her arms, unimpressed.

Looking down, Ozpin remembered the presence of a certain white name tag with the word "evil" scrawled on it. "Confound this adhesive label!" the man yelled, "I can't believe that my plans were foiled by a sticker… again!"

Shrugging off the implication that an evil mastermind's plot had been undone by a sticky piece of paper once before, Goodwitch picked him up with her telekinesis and brought him back to the elevator. Struggling all the way, Evil Ozpin kept trying to find some way to cause some measure of damage to this world.

'It would appear that this 'plot hole' is the reason behind many of their problems already. If only I could find some way to make it stronger- some way to cause more chaos, more… insanity….' The answer came to him, it was suddenly so clear. He was going back through that portal, one way or another, but that didn't mean he couldn't leave this Remnant with a present.

He was unceremoniously deposited on the ground in the room with the plot hole, the witch responsible for the indignity storming off. As she left, Evil's smirk grew predatory, and he sat attentively and waited for the opportunity to begin the next stage of his plan.

Insane happily strolled through the school campus, looking for something fun to do. He suddenly had an idea. Practically giggling, the man rushed to the CCT and ran into his office. He took a brief moment to appreciate that, even in this world, he still had purchased a phallic chair, intentionally or otherwise. Where he came from, it was good to get a rise out of Glynda, here it was most likely just an oversight.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, the false headmaster put on a face of seriousness and horror, then began a call with one of his favorite people to annoy. "Ozpin, what is it?" General Ironwood asked, concern etched into his features when he saw the state of his friend's face.

"James! I need you to fire any dust missiles you have in range of Beacon at the coordinates I'm sending you! It is vital that you do it immediately!" While some may call him crazy, Ozpin was as good an actor as he was a strategist.

"Oz, I don't have any weapons in range of-"

"Now is not the time for this, Ironwood! I know you are prepared in case I were to pose a threat to Remnant- and I commend you for that, most men could not set aside their feelings for matters such as these- but I need your cooperation, there is no time to explain!" The general looked conflicted, so Ozpin played his trump card. "Do you trust me?"

The expression James wore went from confusion, to guilt, and finally to determination. "Without a doubt. Lieutenant, fire all weapons in range to this location." Typing a few keys, the man sent her the coordinates that Ozpin had given him. "Ozpin, what is this about? What did I just destroy?"

"Let me go find out, I'll tell you when I see where they land."

"What!? Ozpin-" The call ended when Insane pressed a red button. Leaning back in his chair, Ozpin looked out over Beacon and the city of Vale. He watched as several bright streaks flew into Forever Fall Forest.

"Lieutenant, move those dust containers further apart. One idiot drops something on them, and we'll lose the whole stockpile!" Adam ordered his second-in-command. The heavily-muscled White Fang picked up one crate and started carrying it to the other side of the camp. The White Fang cell was planning on moving to a new location in Mountain Glenn soon, but Adam wasn't taking any chances, an attack now could severely deplete resources at their disposal.

"Uh, boss…" Adam growled, before turning to look at the lieutenant, "I don't think it's going to make much of a difference."

Following his gaze, the bull faunus saw five flaming projectiles coming down on them from above. 'Oh shit.' His ally looked toward him, hoping for something.

"Anything, sir? Any way out of this, any 'our sacrifice will show the world humanity's true face' stuff, any last words? Anything at all to say?" Though he would normally spout cheesy and over-the-top speeches about their glorious uprising, their heroic actions, and the shining future they would secure for faunus everywhere, Adam was uncharacteristically quiet.

"You know, for once, I got nothin'. Sucks to be us."

"Oooh, that was very pretty. Oh, but all those environmentalists are going to be uppity now. 'Oh, it's the only habitat left for many unique species on the planet, boo hoo.' They should be happy! If we can wipe out one species, then there's hope we can do it to the Grimm too!"

The elevator doors slid open to reveal a decidedly unhappy Glynda Goodwitch. "Was that an explosion!? What have you done!?" she screeched at Ozpin.

"Relax, I just blew up some forest, nobody died… I think. Though it did cut away from me for a second there, maybe… the point is I only do funny things. If they were heading somewhere bad, they'd have just collided in the air. Unlike the rest of you, I understand how this all works."

Though Goodwitch would normally be appreciative of someone who knew how to handle the plot hole's strange effects, the fact that it had to be this moron meant he was useless. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like he was on the plot hole's side, rather than hers.

'The plot hole's side? Since when did I start thinking of this like a war. Then again, today's seen a dead headmaster, an assassination attempt on the maiden, and now a bombing. Perhaps it is a war.'

"Come, you. We're going to send you home, where you can torment someone else." Collecting this imposter similarly to the last one, the combat instructor left him with Evil and the original Ozpin while she went out to get the last one.

While he settled down, miffed that his only actions included annoying military personnel and a singular explosion, he felt a nudge against his arm. Turning right, he saw his villainous counterpart grinning widely.

"I have a proposition I think you'll be very interested in."

Creepy had instantly made his way to the cafeteria. He stood by the back and watched over the students, before picking out a pair that seemed like close friends. 'And a very cute couple!'

He didn't care what anyone thought, he was making these kids happier. They found love, and he got the satisfaction of watching all the students in his academy walking around with smiles on their faces. Was it really creepy to want others to feel joy? He certainly didn't think so.

Waiting for them to split up, he went over to one of them, a brunette wearing some very fashionable clothes, shades, and a nice beret. It wouldn't be the first time he'd set these two up, it was one of the first he'd tried back in his world, and he couldn't wait to replicate it here. "Why hello Miss Adel, how are you today?"

"Oh, hello Professor Ozpin. Can I help you?"

"I couldn't help but notice that you enjoy spending time with Miss Scarlatina more than most partners do with each other. Usually most partners need a fair amount of time apart from one another, but you two seem inseparable."

The student looked up at him, lowering her shades to look directly at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, simply that it is good to see two students form such a close bond. It's important that everyone has someone they know will be there for them no matter what." As he walked off, the man knew he wouldn't have to wait long. While she might seem a little rough to outsiders, Coco was actually quite caring. All he'd done is simply brought her closeness with Velvet to the front of her mind, and left her to think about it.

Not too much later, Ozpin was sitting in a classroom, staring out a window at a rabbit faunus as her friend arrived to meet her. He saw some nervous shuffling, eye contact was limited to a few darting glances, and a light blush on Coco's face. He was so enraptured by the blossoming relationship, he didn't notice the doors open behind him.

"That's it Miss Adel… go tell your little 'bun bun' what you feel for her…. Ah! Glynda, I didn't see you there! You know you should really go on a date with Insane me! His random quirkiness complements your no-nonsense attitude perfectly!"

"That's quite enough of that, back to the portal with you!"

As he was taken from the classroom, he smiled know he'd done a good thing. Well, he thought so at least.

When the two of them arrived back at port's classroom, (Creepy remembered him being one of the only people he just couldn't find a romantic partner for- the man was just too full of himself) they came across two more Ozpins entering the class.

"Oh good, you've found him too. Where was he, Calm?"

"He'd found the nearest dorm room, used his all-access card, and fallen asleep in some poor student's bed. He couldn't even be bothered to go back to his own room." Calm replied.

"Hey, you say lazy, I say energy-efficient!"

The four of them stepped into the classroom, and Goodwitch prepared to end this nightmare. Then, just to add to her headache before she could get rid of them, Creepy spoke up. "Um, not to bother anyone, but there seem to be two dead Ozpins now. Could someone check that out? I want to make sure it wasn't one who was in a shipping chart of mine." Sure enough, a second corpse littered the floor, this one with a broken neck.

Growling, she looked over to the three Ozpins, well… two now, who had been alone. "Yes, about that. Evil killed Insane shortly after you left." The one with the "original" name tag said.

As morally wrong as murder was, Glynda just couldn't find it in herself to blame the man.

To start off the return of the Ozpins, Goodwitch used her semblance to push the first dead body through. Then she… encouraged… Evil to walk through. Then Lazy stepped through, and was quickly followed by another levitating dead body. Creepy too was forcibly removed, and finally Calm stepped into the plot hole, waving goodbye to the poor woman.

Sighing, Glynda sat down, thoroughly exhausted from hunting down all of the imposters. But duty called, and Professor Port suddenly stepped through the doors, Cardin Winchester being led in behind him. "Sorry to add to your busy schedule, but Mr. Winchester was recently caught making fun of Velvet Scarlatina. Apparently not only for her race, but also for her new relationship with her partner."

Glynda slammed her forehead against the desk she was seated at. Luckily, Ozpin laid a hand on her should and smiled down at her compassionately. "Don't worry, Glynda, you've done enough for one day. I'll take care of this." Smiling gratefully, Goodwitch closed her eyes for a moment and simply relaxed.

"Now then, Mr. Winchester, you should know that bullying and discrimination are strictly prohibited. I'm afraid you're going to have to listen to some 'Spice Girls' music for transgressions such as these."

Glynda's eyes snapped open.

Standing up shakily, she staggered back. "You… no! It's you, the insane one, you're still here! Oh Dust, that means that Ozpin's dead!" The smile on his face widened.

"Nonsense, Glynda. That's ridiculous. After all, what kind of moron would try to impersonate a dead man?"

And we're done! That was fun, wasn't it? So now you see how this is going to start going off on a tangent away from the story quickly. Ozpin's been replaced by a lunatic, Coco and Velvet are together now, and Adam (or at least his operation) has been blown to pieces, as to whether he's really dead, even I don't know yet!

Anyways, it's nearly my account's anniversary, November 13th (P.S. coincidentally, 13 is my luck number, I didn't realize what day it was when I started this account), and I've got a one-shot coming out that day that I have all written and ready for publishing! Follow my account if you want to be notified about it!

Now this chapter was inspired by all of those fanfictions where Ozpin is just messing with people, or he's evil, or he's basically Jesus and is as good a fighter as he is wise. Eventually I wondered what would happen if all these different ones came together, and this was the result. There were a few more fourth wall breaks in there, and many more are on their way!

Next chapter: "Spoiler Alert"

Oh, and as a gift, here is my first omake ever. I don't know that I'll do more of these, but I felt like this one worked here.

Omake:

It had only been a short while since Professor Ozpin had disappeared into that strange vortex, and already Glynda's thirty-year migraine had begun to recede. Her face changed to one of abject horror when another bright flash filled the room. "Dear dust, he's back! No!"

Looking down, however, she found her boss to be still on the floor. Upon closer inspection, she found him to be dead.

Her laughter was quiet, at first. A giggle, nothing more than that, but it soon turned into a roaring laughter that any passerby would deem the maniacal cackling of a madwoman. Through the laughter, she managed to joyously repeat a single word, tears of joy spilling from her eyes.

"Freedom!"