Alec's note: I'm glad you're still here, it would be quite unfortunate for you if you wern't. Wouldn't want your precious reputations ruined.

I chug the rest of my water, my hand shaking slightly. I never expected anything like this to ever happen. Even if I had though, I don't think I ever could have imagined how hard listening to something like this could be.

I also am starting to realize how little I actually knew of Alexander Lightwood. We had begun to get close in the last few months before his death, not counting the last two-three weeks after his little brother died, and I knew nothing of these things. I knew Clary was Jace's boyfriend, I knew Jace and Alec seemed to be a bit tense around each other. But Alec had never got into it further than that.

I really had just assumed until a few hours ago that Alec hadn't been able to take his little brother's death. The little boy fell down the stairs after a party, the last time anything between Alec and I was normal, a few weeks ago and hit his head too hard on the ground. Obviously his little brother's death was probably a big factor, but apparently there were at least thirteen other reasons that didn't help anything.

I wonder how Alexander's family is taking all this. Jace and Isabelle haven't been to school since it happened. Regardless of any feelings Jace and Isabelle have, had, towards Alec.. losing two siblings within a month couldn't be easy. Maybe I'll go check on them tomorrow. But.. Jace was the first person on the tapes. He's already had them. He not only knows about them, he also knows what I did. Whatever that was.

I shake my head. Eventually possibly.. but I don't know if I can return to Alexander's house so soon. See his family, see the startling resemblance to him in Isabelle. Look at Jace, knowing the way he had treated the boy when he had been aliv-

"Excuse me sir," I jump, looking up to see the hostess, apparently the waitress too, from earlier. "Would you like anything else or maybe some more water?" I shake my head, mumbling I'm fine. She gives me one more questioning, almost concerned look. I must look like shit. Eventually she leaves though, thank God. Taking a deep breath, I look down at Raphael's Walkman. I press play on the third tape.

'Now Jordan.' So Jordan's story isn't over. 'What did you do after you stopped coming to Takis? It's time for the rest of your story.

The day after the last day I went to Takis, I started seeing you around with Maia Roberts. I only say her name because you're still with her and everyone knows it. Unlike you, she is not on these tapes and has no play in this.' I shake my head. The amount of shade Alexander was capable of throwing was astonishing.

'Along with Maia came a new set of friends. I was left with nobody. When there are projects, I still look from you to Clary. Except now, you're looking at Maia. Clary, at my brother.

But that's not why you're on this list.

Everyone remembers the big factor on these tapes, right? The one that shouldn't matter. I'm gay.

To Jace's credit, it was not him who told the whole school.' Oh yes, how so very generous of him to not spread a secret that was not his to spread and that could possibly stain his and his family's reputation.

'Exchanging secrets is something you do when you're friends, right? I told you that in confidence. As you told me the same day about- wait. You feel how your heart started to accelerate?How your breath caught in your throat for a moment? You thought I was going to tell everyone here, didn't you? You're not supposed to tell people's secrets.

I'm not like you Jordan. And this tape is not about pety revenge. So your secret will die with me. Die with me tonight in fact.

But why'd you do it Jordan? What did I ever do to you? You knew I didn't want people knowing that. You knew how people would look at me and that I wasn't ready to handle that.

But I had to learn fast, as it didn't take long for the taunting to begin. Guys thought it was hilarious to whistle at me when I walked by. I don't like attention. I don't think even half of them knew my name.

They didn't need to. I had a new name. Several actually. Fag. The gay boy. Typical immature teenager stuff. I wonder if they'll know my name now.

Girls started asking me out. All of them very pretty, all with the ego of God. They knew. I guess they thought if I rejected them that would without a doubt confirm your words. You could see the moment they got what they wanted. Everytime I said no, something lit up in their eyes and they returned to their friends who were waiting for the news.

I never denied it though. I didn't want people to know, but once they I didn't see a reason to lie about who I am anymore. So in a way you helped me Jordan. People started treating me like shit, I hope everyone thought you were a little bit cooler, but at least I was out of the closet.'

So. That's who outed him. Considering I wasn't even aware it was Jordan, apparently nobody particularly cared who told but only that I was true. I too hope he got off to his sick little joke Alexander, I hope his five seconds of fame makes up for your misery in his head.

'What I don't understand thought is how you could betray my trust like that. I... I don't know.' My heart breaks as the boy stutters. 'You gave me trust issues. I haven't told secrets since.' So why I didn't learn any of this till now. 'Not till now. But don't worry, not yours. Only the ones that mattered.'

Alec's note: I wonder if Jordan still benefits from this as much as I would be suffering from it to this day if I was still alive