Chpt. 10
Mrs. Weasley returned with Ginny and the twins behind her. She gave John a kind look, before noticing the salamander by him.
"Oh my," she said simply, "What's that?"
John beamed brightly at her, "That's my salamander, Casey." Fred and George looked from behind her. They looked at Casey's bubble and smirked.
"Oh, well then, I suppose that's alright," she said, because at this point, nothing would surprise her.
John smiled and grabbed Casey's hand, and extending his free arm for Vodka Mutini to climb on.
"Oh!" he exclaimed, "And this is my friend's cat, Vodka Mutini, or Mutie for short." He pat her head as she nuzzled his cheek.
"Well then, would you like some more breakfast?" she asked.
"Yeah!" John exclaimed, "This is the best food I've had in a long time!" He sat down, Karkat still not present. He began to practically inhale his toast.
"I'd like some more too, if that's alright," Terezi said happily, having emptied her plate of all food.
"Hey," John said, "Where's Karkat?"
"'He's probably off sulking somewhere. He'll show up eventually," Terezi said.
"Well, okay then." The twins and Ginny went to sit down, the twins on either side of John and Ginny next to Terezi. Harry and the others sat down as well while Mrs. Weasley used her wand to pass plates filled with food down the table and took John and Terezi's empty plates away, replacing them.
John offered a piece of toast to Casey, who took it in her stubby arms and somehow managed to get the bread in her mouth, and swallowed it in one gulp.
"Hey," he said to Mrs. Weasley, "Is there a pet shop around here that we can go to? I need to feed Mutie.
"I can pick some up when we go to Diagon Alley once the owls arrive."
"Die again alley?" Terezi said with a hint of laughter, "That's a little crude."
"It's Diagon Alley, not die again alley," Hermione said to Terezi, who just shrugged.
"I have a some money to pay for it," John said to Mrs. Weasley completely ignoring the conversation in the background.
"Oh, it's quite alright."
"No, really. I have more than enough." Mrs. Weasley gave in and nodded as John stood up.
He passed the empty plate to her and left in a hurry, a mischievous smile forming. Fred and George glanced at each other and began to stuff their mouths full of food, most likely hoping to see what he had planned. Harry too, was interested and ate his food ate a rate that Ron would be proud of, even though he had finished his food a few minutes earlier. Hermione looked at them, obviously disgusted, and continued at a normal rate.
Harry sat at the table, patiently waiting for Hermione to finish despite the fact that he was itching to go see what was going on upstairs.
Ron, however, was not so considerate. "Come on 'Mione!" he moaned. "Finish your food already!"
Hermione scowled at him, about to reprimand him, but was cut off from a loud crash from upstairs.
Harry, Ron, Terezi and the twins jumped up from there seats, running upstairs with Hermione trailing after them.
Terezi was the first up, a look of both horror and amusement on her green tinted face as she cackled at Karkat. Harry took a moment to wonder why she felt sick, but turned his attention to the screaming boy
Karkat was screaming his head off. "HOLY F*** IS THAT A BUCKET ON MY HEAD? IT BETTER NOT BE, OH GOD." He freed his head from the bucket, and once he had confirmed his suspicions, he screamed and threw it across the room, and began to back up as far as he could on the other side, barely noticing the slime that had dumped on his head.
"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD," he screamed at the top of his lungs. "WHO WOULD DO THAT? OH F*** OH F***, IT WAS ON MY HEAD!" Karkat continued to yell, oblivious to the visitors outside his open door. He noticed the note left on his bed, and cautiously approached it, his eyes still wide and breathing hard.
He read it, and his face turned a brilliant shape of red. He looked positively murderous, and he ran to the window.
"F***BERT!" he roared, "I WILL KILL YOU, WATCH YOU REGENERATE, AND KILL YOU AGAIN, YOU FILTHY NOOKSNIFFER! I WILL POUR A HOT STEAMING BOWL OF F*** YOU OVER YOUR DEAD BODY AS YOU TRY TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR NOOK, YOU-" Karkat was interrupted from his tirade as John interrupted him with a loud laugh.
"Sorry Karkat," he said between laughs, "You're shouting in the wrong direction." Karkat looked around for the source of the voice, along with Harry, though Terezi just smiled.
"Look up f***ass." Karkat did, revealing John to be sitting on a support beam. Harry wondered how he got up there, but the thought was pushed to the back of his mind as Karkat began to speak.
"Come down here so I can strangle you with your own perverted hands."
"Um, how about, no. Come on Karkat, it's just a prank."
"JUST A PRANK?" Karkat roared, "HOW DUMB DO YOU GET?"
Terezi was laughing incredibly hard, and Karkat finally noticed them in the doorway. Fred and George fist-bumped each other.
"I'm dealing with you asses later after I kill John."
"Don't you ever play pranks Karkat?" John asked from the beam.
"I don't play pranks, that's juvenile nonsense. I do two things, and two things only, I devastate sorry motherf***ers, and get shit done as an awesome leader."
"I feel like I've heard that before."
"Hey Nubby, didn't you give up being a leader?" Terezi asked.
"Yeah. But someone has to keep the assholes in line." Terezi shrugged and went back to laughing at Karkat.
`John snickered, "So Karkat, I thought you were taller."
"GET DOWN HERE YOU BRAINDEAD ASSWIPE!" Karkat wiped a bit of slime off his face as he yelled.
John grinned mischievously, "Okay." He jumped off the beam, landing on Karkat. Hermione gasped as John's foot met Karkat's face. Surprisingly, neither fell down.
"Out of the way!" John yelled as he began to push Karkat towards the door with a surprising amount of strength. Harry jumped out of the way as John pushed Karkat towards the stairs, despite the loud and angry protests from the latter.
"He wouldn't!" Hermione gasped.
As John drew closer to the stairs Ron said, "He would." John and Karkat were near the stairs, and with a push, Karkat began to fall the stairs. John grinned as he fell down the stairs, cursing and yelling.
"What was that for?" Harry asked, confused.
John smirked, "It's just a big old push down the friendship stairs."
"I warned you about stairs, bro!" John shouted to Karkat.
/lame pun is lame. Heh, new chapter. I decided that being one chapter ahead is INCREDIBLY STUPID. :T I'll try to get another chapter up before I leave for summer camp next week. I'll be gone for a week. In other news, I FINALLY watched Con Air. My life is now complete UwU
Thanks for all the fans/follows/reviews! It really means a lot
EDIT: HOLY SHIT MOST EMBARRASSING TYPO EVER /shot
Homestuck © Hussie
Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling
