I do not own digimon nor its characters.
Chapter 8: All roads lead to the past
Ok… I was definitely not expecting this.
I am standing in front of a house; well, it is actually a mansion, where "THE party" is, in Yolei´s words. The first time she told me about it, I didn't pay much attention, however, since what didn't happen yesterday, I need a major distraction. I am not in denial, nothing happened. NOTHING. My friend send me a text asking if I would come and when I confirmed that yes, I would, she called me immediately to tell me that she will be in charge of choosing me an outfit and makeup.
Yolei showed up at my house´s door with a huge equipment, apparently it contained all things that were necessaries to "make us shine". This is what freaked me out a little, since I am not the one to show herself, it is not my style at all. Besides, Tai would kill me if he found out that his little sister is dressed as a… well you know. On the bright side, even if I was force to use a dress, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. The dress was white; it hugged my body up to my waist where a pink belt was and the skirt reached few centimeters above my knees. She did my makeup, which had a very natural look.
-I think you should paint your nails another color.- She commands.
I look doubtfully the black nail polish.
-Don't you think it gives my look an original touch?
She rolls her eyes at me.
-Lets go.- She says.
Her one shoulder purple blouse shines under the few lights that are inside and her white shorts are a strange sight. All looks as bizarre as my friend´s clothing: the colors and shapes. Girls and boys dance to the music beat, they drink their beverages in perky shaped glasses and laugh so loud that the sound comes as part of the song playing in the speakers.
-Kari!- Shouts a very familiar voice. Then, when he is closer, he adds (making each syllable longer):- I can't believe you are here!
By his way of speaking, the blush on his cheeks and by the way he has to hold on me in order to stand straight, I know something is not quite right. I close my eyes, I is too early for him to e this drunk. I make him put an arm over my should as I pass one of my own around his waist so he can lean on me. It seems we are hugging and he notices it.
-Why are you so cuddly?- I roll my eyes and push him to start walking. He laughs.- I'm not complaining,- he clumsily pulls me closer,- not at all.
-Don't be silly,- I complain pushing him slightly- I'll find you a somewhere to sit.
We wander awhile among the crowd and without noticing, he was the one who guided me where we are now: right in front of the bar. I glare at him hinting that it is not funny at all, he just shrugs and gives me a playful smile. He acts as if he didn't have seen my look of disapproval while he orders. When the barman gives him two glasses full of alcohol he offers me one.
-No.
-Come on Kari,- he insists offering me a Little glass, putting it in front of me- drink one shot with me and the, you can kiss me.- I glare at him, he leaves his shot in front of him and he leans over the bar with a weird smile. Is he resigned? Truthfully, I don't know for sure, I can't say.- Fine… I promise you that this will be my last one, for tonight.
My fingers touch the cold glass.
-I wonder what is the reason why I don't believe you.- I say with a sigh.
He smiles and his eyes are illuminated by the pulsating lights. These make them look hypnotizing. Usually, I am not one of those people that follow the crowd in this matter and today it is not the exception, because I didn't take the little glass from him due to social pressure but to my own memories. I bring it closer to my nose, the smell is very strong.
-For our senior year.
There are some changes that are necessary. There are some people that are destined to stay in our lives. There are some people that are destined to go their ways. That's life.
-For our senior year.
I just hope I can cope what is coming.
Both of us put the empty glasses on the bar.
-Another one?- He asks me with his eyebrows raised, I just look at him. He passes a hand through his already messy hair.- That's alright. At least I tried.
I give him a half smile.
-It is time.- I say with a head movement.
He nods and puts an arm around my shoulders; I, around his waist. We walk like that for some time until he tenses up. I look at him with questions in my eyes, but he is oblivious to this: he maintains his eyes focused somewhere in front. I try to see what has him like this and I soon regret knowing it.
-I didn't expect to see you in a place like this.- Say the boy with eyes of the color of a jade with deep voice.
I straighten up in order to seem in control, which is far away from how I feel at the moment. Daisuke pulls me into him. The other boy doesn't make a comment, he just stands there looking amused.
-It wasn't on my plans.-I tell him truthfully.
He presses his lips together and nods as if he knew I was going to answer that. The messy haired boy tries, without much success, to burn a hole through the other one with his glare. The boy, with eyes of the color of a jade, smirks.
-Maybe I'll see you around.
Sincerely I hope you won't.
I pull the hem of the heir of my brother´s goggles and start walking away. I can't believe I've found him here, he is supposed to live in another town, or something along the lines. We pass through the crowd with difficulty. Here I am trying to forget something, but the past continues to haunt me.
-I can't believe you went out with the likes of him.
-Shut up.
I continue pulling him. He can barely follow my lead, but I can't even consider caring about it.
-Do you know the chairs at on the other side?- He manages to asks me.
-Yes.
-Are we going to…?
-Yes.
He looks at me alarmed.
-I don't think you should…
- I don't think you should be the one telling me that.
I can feel how his body is shaken by his laughter.
-I guess you have a point.- He says between snickers.
Of course I have one.
When we make it to the bar, I start a competition with myself. I lose the count in the shot number seven. From then, my vision becomes very blurry. Without noticing it, I find myself dancing to the beat of the music playing on top of a table with many people-mostly boys- around. How did I got there? I don't know and truthfully, right now, I don't care.
-What do you think you are doing!?- Asks a voice I know well.
I ignore him and continue dancing. The other boys clap and urge me to continue.
-Come with me!- I can barely hear him over the music.
I cross looks with a blue one for a second before I start to dance boldly. I can feel him frown, even if I'm not in front of him. I just know when he does that. I play with my hair and seconds later, I am doubled over his shoulder.
-Let go of me!
The guys that were watching my show complain.
-No way.- He says in very serious tone.
I get myself more comfortable on his back by putting my elbows to hold my tired head. The slow movement that his walk makes is soothing the headache I dint know I had. Suddenly, he puts me down and sits me in the porch.
-I will bring you a glass full of water.- He informs me before he walks away quickly.
Between the dance, the shock of a retreat such as this one and the cold air, the alcohol effects lower considerably.
I sigh as I hug my legs to my chest. The moon looks enormous up in the sky and the stars shine to bring up the beauty of their queen. The noise of the water fountain and the crickets calms me. Well, a little, because many questions unanswered run through my head. Why does the have to be here? After so much time… Why did I have to behave like that? This is not me. It wasn't just the alcohol, I know it well, it was my cowardly… Why did you have to notice? You didn't forget… just like I didn't?
Suddenly, I can hear the noise from the party, the door closing and a couple of slow steps towards me.
-I've never seen the stars shine that bright or a bigger moon.
He sits by me side and offers me a red cup. I take it. Our fingers brush and his stay a little longer than necessary.
-It is because the sky is darker.
A small smile is form on my lips.
- It is because the sky is darker.- I agree.
Even if I am still toking up, I can feel his eyes on me. He wants to tell me something, I know. He opens and closes his mouth. For someone so eloquent with written words, he sure has some trouble with speaking them up. I don't blame him. I don't know how to start a civil conversation with him, not anymore.
-Hey…
I've noticed he doesn't call me by my name. In fact, he tries not to say my name, nickname, surname or whatever. When he talks to me he says "hey" or simply doesn't say that part, just like me. It must be weird calling someone who was very close, but now it is a complete stranger. You can't call him by his nickname; the trust is not the same. You can't call him by his last name, it would be like erasing all the memories and sadly, it is not our case. Choosing an option would lead to an awkward position or to talk about it and, maybe it is weird that a girl thinks like this but I don't want to discuss it.
I am weird and I know it.
-Did you see him?- He says slowly as if hoping not to confirm his suspicions.
I continue looking at the stars. He gets tired of waiting for an answer, so he imitates my position by putting his weight on his hands and throwing his head back to see the night sky. I giggle: it is so strange and familiar at the same time. He doesn't comment, it is his turn anyway.
-Why do you think I am like this?
He tenses up, even though he tries to not be obvious I notice.
-I would never had guess that he would be here.- I continue without even glancing at him.
-It was crazy seen him here, of all places.- He nods.
I play with my feet.
-Why would you even consider being with a guy like him?- He ask, as if the question was meant to be to himself, very quietly.
I stay still for a second, then, I keep playing with my feet. The silence blends in the atmosphere between us. It is slowly becoming a habit, every time it is a little bit easier, just like in the old times.
-It was a time of changes.-I pause, and then I whisper without thinking it through- Did you ever considered breaking your promise?
The crickets are still there, just as the water keeps falling down.
-The moon is always there, even if you can't see it.- He comments.
-The moon has a darker side.
The truth is there, in what we don't see, or in what it shows us?
-Haven't we all one?- He reminds me.
I was just saying that she is… intimidating. His voices echoes in my memories. I thought I played well my part, the sweet Hikari, the one person who wouldn't hurt anybody. Is it too easy see through my mask or it is just him who can do it?
-Are you talking about me?- I ask amused.- I am an open book.
His sarcastic laughter doesn't make me wait for its appearance. I look curiously at him.
-It seems the alcohol affected you more than I thought it had.
I make a face.
-Actually the fresh air and the water helped a lot.
To be honest, I am still a little dizzy, but I won't acknowledge it. His blue orbs penetrate in my very soul. I try to look away, the intensity is terrifying. I don't remember it that way.
-You shouldn't have drank that much just because you saw him.- He tells me in a serious tone.
I chew my tongue for it wasn't just that. Although I have to admit it was the last straw. I don't realize the alarming short distance between us, due to the fact that I'm in my own personal word. When I notice, I remember…
-You can't just kiss someone because you want.
-Just you.- He makes me come closer to him by holding my waist.
-Are you trying to confuse me?- I ask in a whisper, his cologne (or his singular smell) brings back memories that I´ve buried long time ago.
-Why are you so obsessed in turning me in the bad guy? I'm not one.
No, you are not one. I wish you were, that way all would be much simpler.
-I don't know.- With his thumb he draws circles in my waist. After thinking about it, I add:- It is not important.
-You say it is not, but I can see in your eyes that you think different.
I told you when you left that no matter what happen it would be fine and you promise that you will always be there for me. We both lied, we can't control the future. Why did we made those silly promises? My best friend went away to another continent. That goodbye made a hole in my heart.
I answer him with a bitter smile.
-Being alone is better that to be with people that will only hurt you.
A little after, I was still in pain and another one came, he enter my life without me noticing, he erased some memories and created others. They weren't all good. When I discovered his scheme, I was sad but I didn't felt so bad as when you left.
-You can't evade deception forever. Life is about that and keep moving on no matter what.
No, I can't evade deception forever.
The silence is present again. The soft breeze caresses my skin and the fall of the water is music to my ears, those are my distractions, what keep me from thinking about his hand in my waist. I can't seem to gather forces to tell him to take it out. I don't know if I want to.
-Can we start again?- He asks after some time.
I frown.
-I don't think that…
-I don't mean for us to forget all.- He draws circles again on my waist. His gaze is concentrated in the fountain.- Even after all those years, which are relatively a lot considering our age, the memories are still intact.
I know, it has happened to me.
-What do you say?- He asks softly.
What do I say? I say I want to go back to when we met; I want to know the simplicity of a smile. I want to go back: before I got conscious of the marital problems, those creepy looks from my neighbors, before you left, of my silly decision of trusting someone who isn't trustfully, of thinking you would stick to your word, that I would stick to my word.
-I should go.- I say as I stand up.
He looks at me from his position, his eyes tell me "I need an answer, please". A small smile forms in my face without my contentment. I offer him a hand. He looks at it strangely.
-Would you mind walking me?
He keeps looking at it for a while longer. He nods for himself, he stands up by his own and takes off his white jacket with little patters in black and green.
-What are you doing?
He puts it over my head, messing my hair in the process.
-Hey!- I complain.
-It is cold.- He smiles and it reaches his blue orbs.
He hugs me and I let him.
It is the alcohol. It is the unexpected encounter. It is the past.
A/N:Thanks for reading! See you next month.