"What was your news?" Joey finally asked, not really caring about the answer, just wanting to break the horrible hospital silence. Joey, Rosenthal, and Corey had been sitting together in the waiting room for a hour without talking.
"We were creating a sketch comedy group and we wanted you to be a part of it." Brian said quietly, and fell back into silence.
A nurse walked into the room, and Corey leapt up, while Brian and Joey stayed sadly sitting.
"How are they doctor?" Corey asked hopefully.
"Good news or bad news first?" The young man asked slowly and carefully, as if the 3 men in front of him were glass.
Joey looked over at his friends, and they made a silent consensus. "Good." They said in unison. Usually they would celebrate and brag to everyone how they could read each other's minds, but today they just looked forward.
"So Dylan Saunders seems to be completely fine, just a little bruised and in shock." Joey let out a little smile, at least someone was fine. "Clark has a minor sprained ankle, and Julia Albain's arm is broken in 2 places, but they will both make a full recovery. Jamie Lyn Beatty has a minor concussion, but she should be fine given a couple weeks." The young nurse took a deep breath, and Joey prepared himself for things to get worse. "Joe Walker is undergoing surgery right now to stitch up his stomach and a few other cuts." Joey's breath caught in his mouth. Surgery? He felt Brian tense up next to him, and the nurse seemed to pick up on there discomfort. "He will probably be fine, providing the surgery goes well, which it almost always does." Probably. The word burned in his mind. "Now Brian Holden, we're not sure of the extent of his injury's, but with the amount of glass in his eyes it's fair to assume he's permanently blind, and will have heavy scarring all over his face." Blindness? Scarring? He felt Corey grab his hand, and he wasn't sure if it was for Corey or himself, but Joey sure as hell wasn't going to let go. Brian grabbed onto his other hand, and for a fleeting moment it felt like they were just joking around for a second, doing a silly sketch. "Meredith Stepien is currently awake, but appears to have lost a fair bit of memory and is permanently paralyzed from the waist down. She got hit in just the right spot."
"Oh my god." Brian whispered, and Joey felt tears finally escaping his eyes. Meredith? Paralyzed? She was so energetic, always tapping her foot and sillily dancing around. What the hell was she going to do now.
"Um sir?" Joey asked timidly. He had been checking off each friend in his mind, and realized there was one he hadn't mentioned yet. "What about Lauren? Lauren Lopez?"
The nurse gave him a pained expression. "I'm afraid she died. The bus crushed her, and she died on impact. It wasn't painful."
Joey felt his world stop. His hands went slack in his friends hands and he felt like he was about to fall over. He didn't think he was crying, but he could feel the tears running down his cheeks. "Oh my god." She was dead. The fucking love of his life was never going to pat his head jokingly, call him a bitch whenever they did anything competitive, jump on his back and force him to carry her around. He always complained, but he never really cared. She would never give him a warm hug, braid his ridiculously long hair, wear her sparkly t-shirts around her apartment. She would never get to sing Granger Danger with him, never get to pat Joe's head in Get Back Up, never get to be the leader of the Hot Girls, never scream her part in Get Back to Hogwarts. She would never hold him again.
He felt himself sitting down, but it was as if someone else was doing it. He just felt empty. He felt Brian give him a hug, he felt Corey rest his head on Joey's shoulder and cry. He heard horrible noises come out of his mouth. Strangled sobs reaching up out of his soul, tearing him apart from the inside. He heard the nurse carefully asking if he wanted to see the others, and he felt himself standing up and walking over, through the long, cold, empty halls of the hospital.
The air felt like glass, as if taking one breath would break everything. The three men walked side by side in silence, afraid to set one another off. Nothing could be said to comfort each other, so they didn't even try. Joey didn't want to be comforted. He wanted to feel this pain, only if to remember her. He just wanted to see her. But he couldn't.
Joey closed his eyes for a second. Put on a brave face Jo. They need you. He rubbed his eyes. Bury your feelings. They all have bigger problems than your sadness. They walked through the door of one of the rooms, and Joey felt the breath leave his lungs. Brian. Even sleeping he looked like he was in incredible pain. It was awful. His trademark grin was replaced with a grimace, his clear acne free skin he had always bragged about was rigid and covered in long cuts. And his eyes, well his eyes no longer held the same twinkle. The words Brian had told him during the accident replayed in his head like a tape. Joey it hurts. Don't leave me. He had begged him for help. And what had Joey done. He couldn't help anyone. Not Brian, not Lauren, not anyone.
He glanced over at the bed next to Brian. Meredith. He wanted to look at her, to comfort her, to give her a hug, but he couldn't. He couldn't look into her eyes. He knew the spark was gone from his own eyes. From Laurens. From Brians. But he couldn't bare to see the spark gone from hers. She was like a puppy, always happy, always smiling, and Joey couldn't have that not be true. He felt Brian lean against him, and he felt his body relax a little, and Joey put his arm around the smaller mans shoulders, and tried to slow his breathing.
He finally took a step forward. Toward Meredith. He felt his eyes finally open, and meet hers.
"Mer," His voice broke. She gave him a sad little smile, and beckoned him over to her bed.
"Hi Joey." She replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Come over here so we can talk. I don't want to wake Bri." Joey was confused about how calm and well, normal she was acting, but he felt Brian and Corey gather next to him. "Guys- guys, what happened? We just got on the bus and now I'm here and I can't move and I'm really scared and something happened to Brian and I can't find anyone else and no one will tell me what's happening and-"
"Mer," Joey cut off her rambling. "There was a bus crash."
For a second she looked relieved, then realization hit her and she looked even more scared. "What? What happened? Is everyone else okay? Are you okay?" Her voice was high and loud, and bordering on hysterical. Joey put his hand on her shoulder, but couldn't say anything.
"Um," Corey began, a little uncomfortably. "The three of us are fine, and so is Dyl. Um, Jamie, Julia, and Clark all have minor injuries, but should be fine. Joe's in surgery, but should be okay too. Well, um, you're paralyzed from the waist down." Her face fell.
"Temporarily, right?" She asked, a glimmer of hope shining through her words.
"Um, no Mer." Tears welled up in Meredith's eyes, and Joey could feel his eyes imitating them. Her face was red and fearful, but she tried for a smile.
"At least I'm alive." Lauren. Joey felt himself starting to break again. Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. He needed to be there for Meredith. But oh god Lauren. He got up, and felt Brian pat his back as he moved over and sat in one of the hard hospital chairs and buried his head in his hands. "Jo-?" She started, but Corey stopped her before she could question him.
"Brian got it pretty bad too, um, the windshield broke and a lot of glass got on his face, and in his eyes." Meredith looked like she was going to be ill. Joey felt about the same. "He's um, he's blind Mer." Joey was only able to look at her for a second before jerking his head away. The look in her eyes…. It was as if her world had stopped turning. Joey felt tears fill his eyes again, the days events all coming crashing down on him. He bit his lip, trying to stop the memories from rushing back. He started to taste blood, but he ignored it, squeezing his eyes tight, trying to block out the image of Brian crying and shaking on the ground. Trying to forget Lauren's limp hand hanging out from behind the metal, already gone. Trying to forget everyone crying and screaming and hurting, while he just stood there, completely unharmed. He felt everyones eyes turn to him, as he let out another sound, just like he had before. It felt like pain, clawing its way through his throat, ripping his brain to pieces. Joey got up and walked out of the room, leaving his friends alone.