"That stings…" The bedroom was quiet and felt safe to Evan after what had happened not even an hour ago. Evan couldn't remember much of what happened after Jonathan had closed the car door. He had slipped into unconsciousness as whatever drug that had been put in his drink took full effect. He came to only for a few moments to find Jonathan and Craig carrying him from the elevator to the apartment door. He awoke again when a cotton ball with an antiseptic was pressed against the cuts on his cheek.
"I know. It won't last long." Craig said quietly, tossing the bloody cotton ball into the trash and reached for a new one from a bag on the floor beside him. Evan looked around, his head still feeling heavy. He lay on Tyler's bed, lights from the city turning the white ceiling orange. The bedside lamp was on. On the dresser across the room, the pig mask watched Evan from where it lay beside a vase of red roses. Beside the mask was his red jacket.
Evan slowly turned his head to watch Craig as he applied a bit more of the antiseptic to the new cotton ball. "Can I see your hands?" He asked. Evan nodded. Craig lifted Evan's left hand, gently rubbing at the cuts on his palm. Evan noticed the tears in Craig's eyes.
"I'm sorry." Evan whispered. Craig stopped, looking down at him with a furrowed brow.
"Why are you sorry? If anyone should be apologising it should be Tyler and Marcel." Craig said sharply.
"No...They didn't climb that fence...They didn't talk to Adam." Evan's voice broke. Craig shook his head.
"You're the bravest kid I know." Craig let go of Evan's hand and gently pulled him into a hug. Closing his eyes, Evan rested his head against Craig's shoulder. "You did the right thing."
"It doesn't feel like it." Evan whispered.
"I know." Craig sighed. "I'm sorry they hurt you...It's not excusable." He moved away from the hug, going back to cleaning the cuts on Evan's hand. "It's just what people like us do in these kinds of situations. With our backs against the wall, we lash out at we assume to be the weakest link in the chain that is holding us down."
"I don't hate them. I'm not mad at them." Evan said quietly, wincing against the stinging alcohol on his hand. "Smitty didn't want to do it." Craig looked at him with a confused expression. "I saw it in his face. The way he looked at me. He didn't want to shoot me. He wasn't going to do it, even if you hadn't shown up." Craig stared at him for a few moments, then nodded.
"I think so too."
"You're angry too, aren't you?" Evan whispered. Craig didn't meet his gaze when he nodded.
"I am."
"I understand. I would be too. I understand why they were violent. Tomorrow you could all die because of me. If I was you, I wouldn't be helping me." Evan said. The roses on the dresser looked dark and bloody in the neon glow coming from the city outside. Neither of them said anything for awhile. "Where's Tyler?" Evan finally asked, looking up at Craig with big eyes. He still felt light headed and his short pained breaths didn't help but he had to see Tyler. He wanted to tell him that it would be okay, that he shouldn't be upset with the others.
"He's in his office."
"Can you get him?" Craig glanced at him, thinking about what he should do for a few moments before he got up and walked towards the door. He returned a few minutes later with Tyler who looked exhausted. "I'll wait out here." Craig said to Tyler and closed the door.
"Hey...How are you feeling?" Tyler asked as he sat down the bed beside Evan. Evan didn't answer, he simply sat up and pulled Tyler into a hug despite the pain in his ribs, surprising Tyler.
"Thank you." Evan said, pressing his face against Tyler's chest.
"F-For what?" Tyler slowly wrapped his arms around Evan, leaning his head against the top of Evan's head.
"Saving my life."
"Anyone would have." Tyler said quietly. Evan nodded but he doubted that. He hugged Tyler more tightly. Tears spilt down his face as a sob rattled his shoulders. "Hey, its okay." Tyler ran a gentle hand through his hair. "You're alive...And as long as I'm alive too, nothing bad is ever going to happen to you again. I promise."
"I want to go home." Evan sobbed.
"I know." Tyler sighed.
"I want to see my mom again...I don't want these numbers. I don't want any of this. I just want to go home." Tyler couldn't say anything. He stayed silent, letting Evan cry against his chest. He cried for the man that Ryan had killed. He cried for Tyler and his makeshift family who were all in danger now because of the promise he made. He cried for his mom. He cried for the broken flowers left behind at a motel in San Diego.
Tyler held him the whole time, quietly reassuring him when he mumbled out his fears. Exhaustion crashed over Evan after a while, leaving him hiccuping, his tear stained face pressed against Tyler.
"Get some sleep." Tyler whispered. "It will all be okay."
The clock on Tyler's bedside table ticked past four am. Evan couldn't sleep. Craig had finished tending to his cuts and scraps a few hours ago and had wrapped his ribs for the night. There wasn't much that could be done for his ribs but the occasional wrapping, but even then it shouldn't be for very long. Evan stared up at the ceiling, his mind overflowing with fears for the day to come. Everything was worst case scenario. He wanted to call his mom.
Wincing as he sat up, Evan managed to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He stood slowly, leaning against the bed as he started towards the door. He stopped suddenly though, his hand on the door handle. Across the room, the pig mask stared at him. Evan turned away from the door and made his way across the room. He stopped in front of the dresser, raising a hand to touch the red petals of one of the large roses in the vase. Then he turned his attention to the mask. He stared at it, wondering if Tyler would notice. He picked it up with both hands, seeing flecks of red on the pink rubber. Evan turned the mask in his hands and lifted it over his head. It was a bit big, feeling loose around his head but he could still see out of it.
Taking a pained breath, Evan smiled.
Morning light shone through the large windows of the apartment. Evan sat at the dining room table, watching the others who were scattered about the living room, either still asleep or wide awake, never having fallen asleep the night before. Smitty sat on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Every so often, he would look up at Evan as if waiting for him to start yelling at him. He probably thought he deserved it for what he did. Marcel lay on the floor on his sleeping bag, not acknowledging anyone. No one had seen Tyler all morning.
"Hey, Evan?" Jonathan suddenly sat down beside Evan, a worried look on his face. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay." Evan whispered, looking down at his bowl of cereal.
"Do you wanna go for a drive? Just to get away from the stress in here?" Jonathan asked. "I'm sure it's hard to be around everyone right now for you." Evan looked up at him, then over his shoulder to the others.
"Okay." Evan nodded. Jonathan smiled and got up, leaving Evan to finish his breakfast. He couldn't eat though. He managed to take a few more bites before dumping it out, leaving the bowl in the sink and hurried down the hall to the bedroom. He grabbed his red coat where Craig had left it folded on the dresser. He pulled it on and froze.
One of the pockets was open.
"Oh god…" He couldn't breathe. He reached into the pocket, knowing already that it would be empty.
"Evan?" Jonathan called down the hallway. Evan's shaking hands dropped the jacket. It couldn't have been Craig, it couldn't have been Jonathan or Tyler. It couldn't have! His mind was racing. He was going to be sick. He couldn't breathe. "Are you coming?" Evan took as deep a breath he could, his hands curling into fists.
"Four, one, eight, two, five." Evan whispered. He still knew it. Maybe it had fallen out of his pocket and someone who those numbers had no relevance to, found it and threw it out. Evan nodded at that thought, convincing himself that that was what happened. No one had taken it. They would have to have known it was there. They would have to have known he would write it down.
"Evan?" A knock on the bedroom door startled him. He spun around quickly to see Jonathan standing in the doorway. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Evan managed to say. Jonathan stared at him. "I'm fine." Evan said again.
"Then lets go." Jonathan smiled, turning away from the door. Evan picked up the red jacket and hurried after Jonathan, the dark eyes of the pig mask watching him go.
The blue BMW sped along the quiet road that went up the mountain side. Jonathan took turns sharply, smiling every time the tyres squealed like a pig. Evan didn't look at Jonathan. They had sat in silence for most of the drive. Jonathan had stopped asking him if he was okay. It gave Evan a thought that he couldn't shake. Where had Jonathan gone last night? Why did he seem unsurprised at Tyler lying to them? At Marcel and the others drugging and beating him? Who was driving that car that had pulled up and watched them? Fidgeting with his red sleeve, Evan looked out the window at the flower bushes on the side of the road.
"Jonathan?" Evan asked.
"Yeah?"
"Where did you go last night?"
"What?"
"Where did you go when they took me to that club?"
"Just some errands." Jonathan shrugged. "Marcel was talking about how angry he was with Tyler and it was tense."
"So you left me?" Evan finally turned his head. His fear of the missing piece of paper was making him angry now.
"I didn't mean to leave you. I didn't think that they would actually go through with it...I mean, they had asked me what they should do." Evan's chest tightened. Everyone but him and Tyler had known. A more frightening thought brought a tremor back to his hands. Had Jonathan given them the idea?
"What did you say they should do?" Evan breathed. Jonathan didn't hear him over the engine.
"Look. Everyone knows now. Everyone knows what could happen today. They know they were wrong now to go after who they thought was the weakest link." Jonathan explained. He glanced at Evan and smiled. There was something dark in his eyes. "I know you aren't the weakest link." Evan stared back at him, wondering who he thought was the weakest link.
Looking away, Evan held a hand out the open window, feeling the wind through his fingers. He wanted to go home. He should never have climbed that fence.
"Have you seen my phone?"
"No."
Evan stood in the kitchen, a cup of cold water in his hand. Beside him was a new vase of roses on the counter. Jonathan turned away from Smitty, his right-hand curling into a fist and uncurling. Evan watched Jonathan walk out of the living room towards Craig's room then glanced at Smitty who had gone back to playing a game on his phone. He could hear Tyler, Craig and Jonathan's voices drifting down the hall. Marcel, Daithi and Brock sat around the living room around Smitty, the TV on quietly. When they had gotten back from their drive, Jonathan and Evan found that Lui had arrived who explained that he was nervous to be alone today. Now he sat at the dining room table by the window, the apartment across the street visible over his shoulder. With a beer in hand, Lui watched the city, his other hand nervously tapping against the table. Evan glanced at the door that lead to the office then back at the others. No one would notice. He wasn't going to take anything, he was just curious. He wasn't looking for anything. Setting his cup down, Evan took a slow step towards the door. No one was looking at him. Evan swallowed, taking a deep breath and reached for the door handle, opening the door just wide enough for him to get inside before closing it behind him.
Taking another deep breath, Evan leaned his head back against the closed door. He was sick of waiting for this day to be over. He was sick of feeling useless. Opening his eyes, he looked up at the far wall and the weapons there. He glanced at the map, then to the window on the other wall. He could see the building across the street and the city beyond. His dark gaze turned back to the white neon wall and the guns there. Tyler's handgun was gone, but there was a slightly larger gun above the empty hook. Before he could think about it, Evan moved across the room and took it off the hook. It was heavier than the handgun, but with two hands, he was still able to hold it up. This time, he turned towards the window, imagining how cool it would be to shoot out the glass.
A phone started to ring.
Evan lowered the gun, his gaze locked on Jonathan's phone on the desk. Setting the gun down on the desk, Evan picked up the phone, staring at Brian's name on the screen. His hands were shaking. The phone stopped vibrating, going to voicemail. Evan swiped his thumb across the screen to open the phone but was stopped when it asked for a code. Jonathan's passcode was five numbers. His hands wouldn't stop shaking as he pressed at random five numbers. It wasn't right. He tried again and it still wouldn't unlock. His mind went to the missing piece of paper and the open pocket. Evan pressed four, then one, then eight, two and five.
The phone unlocked.
Evan dropped the phone, covering his face with his hands to stop himself from screaming in anger and fear. He stared down at the phone, running his hands through his hair. Jonathan had been lying to him this whole time. He had been talking with Brian. He knew the code. He stole it from him. Evan felt used.
Taking a shuddering breath, Evan forced himself to pick up the phone again, clicking on the phone app. Brian and Luke's names filled the previous calls list. Fearing the worst, he opened the missed calls list, scrolling back to the day he had spent with Jonathan. It wasn't Tyler that had called Jonathan, it was Brian. Jonathan had shown Evan a screenshot from a different day and he had been foolish enough to believe it. The list of calls disappeared as the phone began to ring again, Brian's name at the top of the black screen. Evan answered.
"Jonathan?" Brian snapped.
"No." Evan said quietly. He heard Brian take a breath, surprised.
"Evan." Brian said, probably for anyone around him. "I've missed you. Have you thought more about that deal? It's still on the table. It's not too late."
"How long has Jonathan been lying?" Evan asked, his hand reaching for the gun on the desk as if he could do anything with it.
"Longer than he's known you." Brian said. "It's a shame really that it's come to this, he said he likes you."
"He used me."
"It's nothing personal." Brian was smiling, Evan knew it. "If you give me the code, you can stay best friends with Jonathan. I promise."
"You are still going to kill everyone."
"Again, nothing personal. Tyler's just been in my way for far too long." Brian said casually. Evan said nothing, his grip tightening on the gun. "What is best for you right now is give me the code before Jonathan does. We both know that Jonathan is a liar and everything he says should always be taken with a grain of salt. You care about him and I care about that code. Let's not let him stab us both in the back, especially for you, a second time." Evan remained silent. He did care about Jonathan but he felt undeniably hurt. "That gun you're holding." Evan froze, looking up at the window. Brian could see him. "You want to do something with it, don't you? With everything that has happened, you've had no agency over it. You've been thrown around and none of it has been under your control. You want control over your life again, don't you?"
"Yes."
"I can give you control if you give me the code." Evan stared out the window at the building across the street. His hand holding the phone was sweating. He could say yes. He could give Brian the code and go home but he couldn't stop thinking that if Jonathan was lying to him, who else was lying to him? He shook his head, Tyler and Craig weren't liars. Marcel and the others weren't liars. They are scared and desperate but not liars. They wanted to protect each other, they had to protect each other and Jonathan had spat in the face of that. For Tyler and his family, Evan could not tell Brian the code. Tyler needed the code. It was the last job they would ever have to do. Evan looked up at the window, taking a deep breath.
"No. I made a promise."
"So you'll give up control over your life because of a promise you made to a dying man?" Brian sounded annoyed.
"I have control." Evan said sharply. "It's my choice not to tell you."
"We'll see about that." Brian hung up. Evan lowered the phone from his ear, his hands shaking. What had he done? He quickly left the room, not bothering to put the gun back. No one had noticed. He grabbed his cup of water, taking a nervous sip.
The new roses on the counter had sharper thorns than the other ones.
Jonathan stepped out of Craig's room, looking up to see Evan staring at him.
The window suddenly shattered, then the vase of roses shattered. The cup in Evan's hand dropped to the counter, glass and water spilling across the counter top.
"Get down!" Lui screamed.
Evan dropped to the glass covered floor as bullets flew through the air. Red petals fell around him.