"Carmilla, come on!"
Laura tugged on Carmilla's arm toward where there were several different living room displays setup. Carmilla groaned in response as she dragged her feet along the floor behind Laura, ignoring the burning on her arm where Laura's fingers are wrapped around her bicep.
"The faster you pick out a couch, the faster we can leave."
"Okay, that one. Let's go."
Carmilla points to the nearest couch and writes down the number before taking Laura's hand and turning to find the escalator, but Laura grabs Carmilla's wrist back and pulls her to a halt. Carmilla groans again at the look on Laura's face.
"Carmilla."
Carmilla sighs and rolls her eyes.
"Why couldn't you just do it? It's too early to be couch shopping."
Laura rolls her eyes and pulls Carmilla further down the row of displays.
"It's your apartment. Can you just cooperate for the next five minutes? And it's after two, when would be a better time to go couch shopping?"
"No. And never."
Laura rolls her eyes again, stopping in front of a display holding a light colored, fabric couch.
"How about this one?"
Laura exclaims, excitedly, Carmilla just makes a face.
"Ooookay, moving on."
Laura walks over to the next display and makes a face at the blue couch against the wall. Carmilla bites her bottom lip trying to hide the smirk creeping onto her lips.
"Maybe we should narrow down our search...What color were you thinking?"
Laura turns around to face Carmilla who immediately returns her expression to that of unimpressed, not wanting Laura to see her finding any amusement in this.
"Black."
Laura groans.
"Carmilla, everything you own can't be black. If you don't pick one I'm getting you that yellow one over there and you'll have to deal with it."
Laura puts her foot down, literally, and Carmilla smirks at her.
"I thought you said it was my apartment. Besides, if you get me a yellow couch, I will personally sic Dumb and Dumber on it myself."
Laura rolls her eyes, for the hundredth time this trip, but reluctantly leads Carmilla over to the dark colored couches and gestures at them with her free hand.
"Happy?"
"No."
Laura huffs.
"You are impossible."
Carmilla smirks and threads her fingers through Laura's, leading her over to a dark grey, almost black, leather corner sofa and plops down on it, bouncing a bit on the cushions before standing back up.
"This one's super, let's go."
Laura rolls her eyes and goes to write down the number of the couch anyway, but stops herself and looks back at Carmilla, her face falling.
"Carm, this is almost two thousand dollars…"
Laura whispers. Carmilla looks at her, confused, raising an eyebrow.
"And?"
"And, I can't afford that, that's like...seventeen hundred dollars more than I was planning on spending!"
Carmilla raises an eyebrow at the girl in front of her.
"Than you were planning on spending?"
Laura shrugs.
"Yeah, it's kinda my fault Finn and Doc ate your couch in the first place, so-"
"You are not buying me a couch."
Carmilla shakes her head.
"Yes, I am."
Carmilla narrows her eyes at the girl in front of her.
"Laura."
Laura mimics her look and lowers her voice to match Carmilla's tone.
"Carmilla."
Laura crosses her arms across her chest and Carmilla rolls her eyes.
"Ok, one: I do not sound like that, and two: no, you're not. Plus, this is the one I'm getting for my apartment and since you don't want to pay over three hundred dollars, you have no choice but to let me pay for it. Now, let's go, I don't want to be here any longer than we have to. Also, your friends are still watching the little monsters and it's only polite to not leave them for too long."
Carmilla drawls before turning on her heel and making a beeline for the escalator to go pick up the couch from the storage compartment on the lower level. She smirks when she hears Laura groan behind her, but quickly shuffle her feet after her anyway, not bothering to object.
It took the two of them over a half hour to find all the pieces for the couch on their own, since Carmilla refused to ask for an employee's help. It took even longer to maneuver the pieces for the couch over to the line for the check out, considering the trolley they had found only had enough room for the largest, heaviest box, leaving the two girls to carry the rest in their arms. Once in the line, Laura immediately spotted the small cafe behind the registers and her eyes lit up.
"Carm! You need to try the cinnamon rolls here! It's all part of the IKEA experience!"
Laura grasps Carmilla's arm, causing her to almost drop the boxes she was balancing. She watched as Carmilla raised her eyebrow and rolled her eyes at the small girl in front of her who was practically bouncing with excitement. Carmilla nods her head and Laura shoves the boxes she was holding onto the boxes in Carmilla's arms before rushing over to the counter and ordering two cinnamon rolls with extra frosting and a black coffee for Carmilla and a hot chocolate for herself. She found a small table for two in the corner and placed the order down before eyeing the register she had just left. It was Carmilla's turn at the register, she was digging through her wallet with her eyebrows furrowed and jaw tense while the woman behind the register was swiping a card through the reader. After a few seconds the woman shakes her head and Carmilla's jaw clenches before she throws down another card. The woman swipes the card through the reader and, again, looks up at Carmilla apologetically and shakes her head.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
Laura's eyes grow wide at Carmilla's sudden outburst. She watches as the woman mouths the word 'sorry' before Carmilla throws another card down. The woman reluctantly takes it and swipes it through the reader, not meeting Carmilla's eyes when she shakes her head this time. Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before she grabs the card from the woman in front of her and places it back in her wallet with the others. She places her wallet in the back pocket of her dark jeans and pulls out a wad of cash from the pocket of her leather jacket and starts flipping through the cash before placing a pile on the counter in front of the woman, whose eyes were as wide as Laura's at that point, and stuffs the wad back in her pocket. Carmilla narrows her eyes at the woman before huffing loudly and pushing the trolley to where Laura was sitting at the table, frozen. Laura watches as the woman behind the register holds up what should have been Carmilla's change, but she's left looking around worriedly with a handful of coins.
Laura doesn't say anything as Carmilla sits down in the chair across from her and picks up the drink on her side of the table. Laura clears her throat and Carmilla's eyes snap up to meet hers.
"What?!"
Carmilla snaps, a bit too harshly, her features stoic as she waits for Laura to say something. Laura's shoulders tense at the sudden bite. Carmilla's face falls at Laura's change in demeanor and she lowers her head to look at her hands around the cup of coffee in front of her.
"Um...Sorry, I didn't-"
Laura quickly shakes her head, her eyebrows furrowing.
"No, it's fine-"
"My mother drained my savings."
Carmilla quickly blurted out, keeping her eyes on her hands, focusing on the warmth from the cup. She could feel Laura's eyes on her and the anger in her stomach was beginning to bubble to the surface. Her entire body was buzzing with fury, but she couldn't lose it in front of Laura, not again. She was focused on pushing the building rage to the deepest parts of her mind when she felt a soft touch on the back of her hand, causing her to jump and her fists to tighten around the styrofoam in her palms. Suddenly her hands were burning and she was quickly brought out of her thoughts as she quickly stood up, the chair she was sitting in falling back behind her with a loud bang, surely capturing the attention of anyone nearby.
"Ah, fuck!"
Carmilla's hands were dripping in hot coffee and now the table was covered in the dark liquid, as well as her lap. Somehow Laura had saved the cinnamon rolls, moving them to an empty table and had grabbed a stack of napkins which she was now placing in Carmilla's hands, her first priority to get the burning liquid off her skin. She placed a few napkins on the table, stopping the flow of the coffee and trapping it before turning her attention to Carmilla.
"Are you okay?"
Laura asked, taking Carmilla's hands in her own. Carmilla's eyebrows were pulled together as she nodded. Carmilla knew she wasn't talking solely about the condition of her hands. Laura dried Carmilla's hands as best she could before handing her more napkins and the cinnamon rolls and the keys to Lafontaine's truck, which they had borrowed to transport the couch.
"Here, I'll meet you in the car."
Carmilla didn't move.
"Carm…"
Laura was looking at her with such intensity that Carmilla felt like she was going to burst, but at the same time there was something in Laura's eyes that put out the fire in her stomach and she wasn't mad anymore. She just nodded her head and took the keys and made her way to the exit to the parking lot to bring the truck around to the loading dock where Laura would soon meet her with the trolley filled with boxes balancing on top of each other and a fresh coffee for Carmilla.
The car ride back to Carmilla's was silent. Laura didn't comment on the fact that Carmilla had eaten both hers and part of Laura's cinnamon roll, but instead, reached for Carmilla's hand across the center console and intertwined their fingers together while drawing small circles on the back of Carmilla's hand with her thumb. Carmilla didn't object, so that's how they sat for the 40 minute car ride.
Upon arriving at Carmilla's apartment, Laura didn't bother letting go of Carmilla's hand, instead she put the truck in park and they sat in the parking lot on the side of the building until Carmilla was ready to head up.
"Are you okay?"
Laura whispered, squeezing Carmilla's hand in an effort to somewhat comfort her. It scared her when Carmilla wouldn't talk. She shut down a lot and although Laura knew when to pry and when Carmilla needed distance, talking about Carmilla's mother was fairly new. In high school, Carmilla never really mentioned her and Laura never brought her up in fear of her closing down and shutting Laura out and now Laura knew why. Carmilla squeezed Laura's hand back and brought it up to her lips, placing a soft kiss to the back of her hand and nodding her head.
"I will be. Thank you."
Carmilla whispers. Laura just nods and Carmilla releases their hands before going to open the passenger side door and turning around to give Laura a small smirk.
"Now, let's go relieve the Ginger Twins of the Monsters and get this couch together over a bottle of wine."
Laura had conveniently left Carmilla in the company of Laf and Perry and the two puppies while she went and picked up the pizza she ordered, 40 minutes prior, and a couple bottles of wine. Carmilla tried to volunteer to go instead, but Laura could be incredibly convincing and she insisted that Carmilla stay behind and 'bond' with the redheads on her living room floor where the remaining shreds of the couch had been before they left earlier that afternoon for IKEA. Laura mentioned that Perry must have cleaned it up and took it out back to the dumpster and that Carmilla should probably thank her, but to be honest, Carmilla didn't know how she felt about the fact that there were two, almost complete, strangers in her apartment with access to everything she owned and a lot of her past, but then on the other hand, she trusted Laura and her judgement and tried to push those thoughts to the furthest corner of her mind. Even if she did, slightly, know the Ginger Twins from high school, they weren't that close and Carmilla only knew who they were through Laura and if Laura was still friends with them, then they might not be so bad.
When Laura came through the door, 20 minutes later, arms full of pizza and a bottle of wine in each hand, Carmilla was standing awkwardly in the kitchen, her back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest and her most impressive indifferent expression on her face, watching the interactions between Laf and the puppies and Perry who seemed to want nothing to do with the pups in front of her. Seeing Laura walk through the door, Carmilla quickly rushed to Laura's side and grabbed the pizzas, placing them on the island bar. Laura smiled at her and whispered a thanks, but then turned her attention to Laf and Perry on the living room floor.
"Hey, you were supposed to be bonding, not brooding over here in the corner."
Laura teased, a slight smile on her lips as she bumped her shoulder into Carmilla's. Carmilla shrugged in response, looking completely out of place and uncomfortable, even in her own apartment. She gathered from the way the two had looked at her over the past 20 minutes that Laura was gone, that the taller, curly haired one, the one Laura mentioned had helped her the day before when Carmilla was asleep, didn't exactly like her. The other, shorter ginger didn't act like they disliked Carmilla, but they made no move to get to know her better, either. She was sort of ignored and, although Carmilla didn't mind the lack of communication, they were in her apartment and when they did happen to glance up at Carmilla, it was with sadness in their eyes and disappointment and the curly haired one always seemed to be judging her. It was unsettling to say the least.
"I don't think they like me very much."
Carmilla whispered as she began dishing out pieces of pizza onto her plate and grabbing four glasses from the cupboard for the wine, which she placed on the counter in front of Laura.
"They don't know you that well, Carm, maybe if you relaxed-"
Carmilla paused, a slice of pizza halfway to her lips, her mouth open. Laura had begun to pour the wine.
"Relax? They've been looking at me like I just pushed over an old woman walking across the street, that's not exactly inviting, cupcake."
Carmilla lowered her voice so only her and Laura could hear. She placed the slice of pizza back onto the plate as Laura turned to go walk the pizza and wine she gathered for Perry and Laf to where they were still sitting on the rug in front of the coffee table.
"They're just overprotective. When you left, I went-"
"They know!?"
Carmilla whispered harshly, grabbing Laura's elbow before she could walk any further into the living room. Laura turned around with an apologetic look on her face. She dropped her eyes to the ground before placing the the cups and plates back onto the counter.
"Carm, you were there and then you weren't, it-"
"...wasn't my fault. We're still doing this? My mother-"
Carmilla was starting to get angry. She thought when she told Laura what had happened that night, that she would understand that there wasn't really anything she could have done.
"It doesn't matter that you left anyway, she still found out. I've already started looking for different schools and-" Laura groans. "Can we not do this right now?"
Carmilla's face contorts in confusion and hurt.
"What do you mean you started looking for different schools? You have a year left. What did she say to you? Laura, if she threatened you-"
Carmilla and Laura were no longer whispering or trying to keep their voices down, in fact, their voices were rising as each fueled the other's fire. Laura ripped her arm out of Carmilla's grasp on her elbow.
"Hey, L, you need help with the-"
Laf tried to diffuse the situation, but Carmilla was having none of it.
"Not now, Ginger One."
Carmilla raised her hand in Laf's direction, cutting her off.
"Stop. It doesn't matter. Please, can we just go put together your stupid couch and get drunk?"
Laura's voice was small, she didn't want it to have to come to this, but she didn't really think she had much of a choice when she was dealing with Carmilla's mother.
"It does matter. You matter. She can't make you leave."
Carmilla's voice was soft, but Laura just scoffed.
"She's the Dean, Carmilla, she can do whatever the fuck she wants and since I didn't accept her check… Forget it."
Laura shakes her head and Carmilla's confusion only grows, she grows more concerned with each sentence out of Laura's mouth.
"What does she have on you? Why is this suddenly okay?"
Laura's mouth goes dry and the floor of Carmilla's kitchen suddenly becomes the most interesting thing in the room.
"Just forget it, please."
She's practically begging Carmilla to back down and she can feel tears start to build up at the corners of her eyes. Carmilla brings two fingers to rest under Laura's chin as she gently raises her head so she can look Laura in the eye.
"No, Laura. She's not going to win, this is ridiculous. Where's the Laura that would fight tooth and nail to bring her down? I'm not walking out again."
Laura pulls her head away from Carmilla, a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek as Carmilla's arm falls limp at her side.
"Then I am. I can't fight this. You know first hand how she is. I'm finishing the rest of this semester and then I'm moving back home with my dad and Noah. I should have done that years ago."
Laura says the last part mostly to herself. She reaches up and wipes away the tear on her chin. Carmilla shakes her head.
"Your house isn't that far away, I could still-"
Laura cuts her off with a harsh no.
"Not here home. Home, home. They moved back with my other relatives after my freshman year."
Realization crossed Carmilla's features and her mouth formed into a small 'O', her stomach dropping to her feet.
"Home, home, as in Canada. You're moving back to Canada. What the fuck Laura, since when? The semester ends in less than a month."
Carmilla's voice was soft, she wasn't angry at Laura, she was furious at her mother. She pushed the anger down and ignored the vibrations in her arms and hands, itching to hit something, and she was left with hurt and betrayal.
"I was going to tell you-"
"Since. When."
"Your mom called me the day after I left the studio."
Laura murmurs, Carmilla scoffs, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Of course she did. It all makes sense, now. How did she even...Is that why you didn't call me or come over?"
"Part of...the reason."
Laura chances a look at Carmilla's face, before she quickly glances over to Perry and Lafontaine on the floor. She can feel Carmilla's eyes on her.
"Look at me. You're keeping things from me."
Carmilla takes Laura's chin in her hand again and attempts to turn her face toward Carmilla, but Laura pushes her hand away.
"Laura, please, I just want to help."
Carmilla whispers, bringing her hand up to cup Laura's cheek. Laura closes her eyes for a second, relaxing into Carmilla's touch before she pulls her head back, out of Carmilla's grasp.
"I can't do this right now."
Laura starts toward the door to Carmilla's apartment, but stops short at the gentle grip on her wrist.
"Laura…"
Carmilla whispers, almost pleading. Laura just shakes her head and pulls her wrist from Carmilla's hand.
"I'm sorry."
Laura's voice cracks on the last word and she slips out into the hallway without looking back because she knows if she did, she would see hurt in Carmilla's eyes and it would stop her from doing what she needs to do. Carmilla's mother has a lot of shit over Laura's head and Carmilla can't find out, not like that.
Lafontaine and Perry left shortly after Laura did. Laf offered to take the puppies with them, but Carmilla turned down their offer with a door to their face after shoving a box of pizza into their arms since they didn't really have any time to eat. In the back of her mind, Carmilla figured Laura would want to come back and get the dogs before she left for Canada, and then Carmilla would talk to her. She had to come back, right? She wouldn't just leave Carmilla with two puppies and a broken heart, right? Right?
That night, Carmilla sat on the floor of her shower with Finn and Doc and just let the water pour over her head and soak her clothes while she ate the leftover box of pizza in it's entirety, ripping off pieces of the crust, every once in awhile, and feeding it to the pups. She had already finished one bottle of wine and was in the process of uncorking the second when she heard a knock at the door. She immediately sprung to her feet, her body swaying from the alcohol in her system. She shakes her head to try and shake some of the drunkenness out, but ends up almost slipping on the wet tile, having to catch herself on the sink before opening the door and stumbling into the living room. The knock comes again and she starts walking faster to the door, nearly landing on her face when she runs her hip into the corner of the island bar. She makes to the door in one piece, mumbling profanities under her breath at the inanimate objects that kept getting in her way. She flings the door open with hope in her eyes and butterflies in her stomach, but maybe that's just the alcohol.
"You're not Laura."
She deadpans, slurring a bit, upon seeing the figure standing in the hallway outside her apartment door, her face falling instantly.
"And you're wet and drunk. Now that we're finished stating the obvious, are you going to invite me inside, or are you going to leave your darling sister out in the hallway."
Carmilla stares at Mattie, hand still on the door handle, actually considering leaving her sister in the hallway, but Mattie pushes past Carmilla and invites herself in before Carmilla even has a chance to comprehend what just happened.
"I don't want to talk to you."
Carmilla says slowly, shutting the door and locking it before taking a long sip from the bottle in her hand and heading back in the direction of the bathroom.
"Carmilla, I think you might want to hear what I have to say."
As it turns out, Carmilla isn't broke after all. Although her mother drained her bank accounts of every last penny she had ever given her, her father left her with a great deal of money from himself and the address of some property around where he grew up, that his father had given him, before he moved to pursue his dream of becoming a surgeon and before he met their mother. In his will he stated that half of his fortune would go to Carmilla, along with the property, and the other half would go to William, along with their father's antique car collection, but only when they turned 25. Mattie was given the house she had been living in since she was 18, in Versailles, and the education to become the lawyer she is today. Of course, he left their mother a small fortune for herself and the large estate in which they lived in Styria, but the children's fortunes were kept separate and under lock and key with their father's lawyer and old friend.
Mattie told Carmilla that the will also stated that Carmilla and William were only able access to what was stated in the will before they turned 25, if he, by some wicked twist of fate, died before they reached the age of 18, which he had. Apparently their mother had kept the information a secret and hidden away since his passing and Mattie just recently thought to pull out her copy of their father's will.
It had been two weeks after Mattie told Carmilla the news of her father's will and her newfound wealth. She hadn't heard anything from Laura since she walked out on her. Currently she was sitting on the pile of boxes that contained the pieces for the couch her and Laura bought, but she couldn't bring herself to put it together. She was watching an old black and white movie that was on tv. It was pretty late, almost 10pm. The puppies were at her feet playing with a rubber tire when a knock sounded rapidly at her door. She jumped when she heard the noise, as she wasn't expecting company and from what she gathered by interrogating the Ginger Twins, it wasn't Laura either. The person on the other side of the door began pounding on the door again just as Carmilla was rising from her stoop on the boxes.
"I'm coming, calm the fuck down!"
She yelled, but the knocking only grew in intensity. Carmilla groaned and unlocked the door, throwing it open, a scowl plastered on her face.
"What?!"
Her face relaxed immediately when she saw the terror in the shorter ginger's face, their hand still floating in midair from where they were knocking on the door.
"I-um-I'm sorry, but-"
"Out with it, Lafonbrain."
Carmilla exclaimed, defeated.
"I-It's Laura."
Carmilla's stomach dropped to the floor at her name, it felt like she was punched in the gut and it must have shown because Lafontaine quickly stumbled over an explanation while pushing Carmilla out of the way to step into the apartment.
"Ah, no-sorry, sorry-I mean...Laura's fine, it's her-"
Carmilla shut the door behind them and turned to face Lafontaine who was wildly waving her hands at Carmilla.
"Laf, breathe, what's going on?"
Lafontaine took a deep breathe before simply saying,
"She left."
Carmilla rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, no shit."
Laf groans.
"No, I mean, she left for Canada."
Carmilla's eyebrows come together, her head cocking to the side.
"What? When? I thought she was finishing the semester?"
"This morning. And she was, but- She told Perry it was because of her dad and I mean, we knew he was sick, but-"
"What?"
"He's sick, did she not tell you?"
"Uh, no."
"Oh, um, well she seemed pretty upset from what I heard on the phone when Perry was talking with her, but I just thought you should know and-"
Carmilla didn't let Lafontaine finish her sentence before she pulled her phone out of her pocket and redialed the first number in her recent calls. She put the phone to her ear and the phone barely rung once before she heard Mattie's voice on the other end. She didn't bother with pleasantries and quickly got to the point.
"Hey, change of plans, I'm leaving tonight on the red eye."
She didn't pay much attention to what Mattie had to say about her sudden decision. She was busy rummaging through the piles of paper on her kitchen table, looking for a pen and paper, which she shoved into Lafontaine's hands when she found what she was looking for.
"Address."
Carmilla stated curtly, gesturing to the pad of sticky notes in Laf's grasp. Laf just looked at her with a blank expression.
"Laura's. Laura's address, write it down. Come on, I thought you were the smart one."
"Ouch."
Carmilla still had the phone to her ear and caught the last bit of Mattie's speech.
"- in 20 minutes."
Then the line went dead and Carmilla placed her phone on the table, looking at it, confused, her eyebrows knitted together. She shakes her head and looks to Lafontaine who is now holding up the pad of paper, an address written on it and two phone numbers, one with Laura's name next to it and the other with Lafontaine's. Carmilla grabs the paper from Lafontaine's grasp and shoves it in her pocket.
"So, you need someone to watch Finn and Doc while you're gone?"
Carmilla shakes her head, walking to the back of the apartment and grabbing her suitcase from the closet.
"Nope, they're coming with me."
20 minutes later and Mattie was walking through Carmilla's apartment door. Carmilla and Laf had thrown all of her essentials in the single suitcase and were now busy packing for the dogs. Mattie tried to talk Carmilla out of leaving before the semester was over, but Carmilla didn't give two shits.
"Mattie, we've already done this. I'm afraid that if it happens again, we won't be able to come back from it. You're not going to be able to convince me to stay. I'm going."
Mattie sighed, knowing very well how stubborn Carmilla could be and accepting her fate.
"At least be rational and take the company airliner, Carmilla. You'll be more comfortable and you'll be able to pack your things and you won't need a second trip to do so. I know much you love flying."
Carmilla rolls her eyes.
"Of course your company has a plane, why wouldn't it?"
"Holy shit, your family is loaded."
Carmilla glares at Lafontaine, who throws their hands up defensively before turning back to Mattie.
"Can we be wheels up in an hour?"
Mattie smiles.
"I've already contacted the pilot and he's going through the pre-flight checks as we speak."
Carmilla nods looking Mattie in the eye.
"Thanks, Mattie, for everything."
Mattie smiles back and clasps her hands together before turning to Lafontaine.
"Now, why don't we get this show on the road so the big sap over here can go get her girl? Hm?"
Carmilla pushes Mattie in the shoulder.
"Shut up."
It took Carmilla less than 30 seconds to find Laura after reaching the 16th floor of the hospital. 25 of those seconds were spent giving herself a pep talk and catching her breath in the stairwell after sprinting up 16 flights of stairs to the Oncology and Palliative/Hospice Care Unit that made up the entire 16th floor. She found Laura shortly after opening the door and taking a step into the hallway, the strong smell of antiseptics and flowers hitting her nose immediately. The small brunette was sitting on the floor less than ten feet from Carmilla, leaning against the wall across the hall from a closed door with the number 1607 marked above it. Laura's elbows were resting on her knees in front of her, that she had drawn to her chest, and she had a hand tangled in her hair on the side of her head, the other was placed over her mouth. Carmilla couldn't really see her face, but her shoulders were slumped and shaking and Carmilla could hear her sniffling from where she stood by the door to the stairs. Laura was wearing an old, oversized black and red Silas University crewneck and a pair of gray sweats with the university's logo on the leg rolled a couple times at her waist because they were too big. Her hair was slightly out of place and, just by the way she was sitting, Carmilla could tell she was exhausted. Her heart sank at the sight.
Remembering she had a hot drink in her hand and a bag with two, warm, chocolate chip cookies from the cafe on the main floor, Carmilla finally takes a step toward the girl on the ground. She's suddenly extremely nervous. What if she just makes it worse? What if Laura doesn't actually want her here? She probably wants to be alone. This probably isn't the best time to show up out of the blue. She's probably not even hungry anyway. What if Noah's here? There's no way he would be, in any way, ecstatic to see her here. Now that she thinks about it, neither would Laura's father, but she's not here for them. She's here for Laura. Laura, whose dad...Oh God. This is the Oncology and Palliative/Hospice floor. No nononono. Oh God.
Carmilla swallows hard when she realizes what this means. None of the reasons for him being up here are particularly good, just some better than others. She's never hoped for someone to have cancer as much as she did right now.
A nurse walked past her with a tray of food and brought Carmilla out of her thoughts. She took a deep breath before forcing her feet further down the hallway. She stopped when she reached Laura's side and realized she had never seen her look so small. She quietly cleared her throat and when Laura didn't look up she leaned back against the wall and slid down until she was sitting with her shoulder touching Laura's.
"Hey, Cupcake."
She said softly. When Laura looked up, her eyes were red and bloodshot and there were tears streaking down her cheeks. She wiped at her eyes before running her hand through her hair.
"I know you're probably not hungry, but I got you cookies and hot chocolate and I made sure they put cinnamon in it-"
"Carm, what are you doing here?"
When she finally spoke, her voice took Carmilla by surprise. She sounded so broken and fragile and it was almost as if they were kids again, sitting on the floor of Laura's old bedroom after her father had told her that her mother wasn't coming back from the hospital and she was confused and scared and didn't know what that meant and when he told her that the sickness had finally run it's course and he broke down in front of her, she realized that she didn't have a mother anymore. Now, she was losing her father and the realization hit Carmilla like a punch to the stomach.
"Laura, I am so sorry."
Carmilla forgot about the cookies and hot chocolate as soon as Laura's bottom lip started trembling and her face crumpled in front of her and before she knew it she was holding the smaller girl as she cried into her chest, her small arms wrapped around Carmilla's waist, Carmilla's instinctively wrapped around Laura's shoulders, one hand on the back of her head. They sat like that until Laura was calmed down enough to speak, barely above a whisper.
"He has what my mom had."
"Laur-"
"His scans light up like a fucking christmas tree."
She doesn't even make it through the sentence before her voice cracks and another heart wrenching sob escapes her throat. Carmilla just holds her tighter, running her fingers through Laura's hair.
"I'm sorry, this probably isn't what you came here for."
Laura cries before pulling back to wipe at her cheeks. Carmilla placed her hand on Laura's cheek bringing her closer, resting their foreheads together, their eyes closing.
"Sweetheart, this is exactly why I came here."
Laura scoffs and tries to turn her head away, but Carmilla places her free hand on Laura's other cheek and she holds her there.
"Laf told me you left earlier than expected and said you sounded upset on the phone when you called Perry, so I flew out here and they gave me the address of your house and no one was there when I got there and when they said your dad was sick I started calling hospitals and thank God it only took me three tries to find the right one-"
Laura pulls their foreheads apart, placing her hands over Carmilla's on her cheeks.
"Carm. You're talking really fast."
She whispers. Carmilla takes a deep breath and nods her head.
"Right. Um, anyway-" Carmilla clears her throat. "-I just wanted to make sure you were okay, or somewhat functioning, I know how you were when your mo- um...I...I have some news, but first, I actually have a surprise for you."
Laura's eyebrows furrow in confusion. Carmilla stands up and offers Laura her hand which she takes, pulling herself up as she gently wipes her cheeks free of tears. Carmilla starts to lead her to the stairs, but Laura stops them both and looks back at the door to room 1607.
"Wait, Carm, I don't-"
Carmilla tugs on her hand and gives her a small smile.
"Come on, it won't take 15 minutes."
Laura takes a step forward.
"Are you sure?"
"Do you trust me?"
Laura's eyebrows scrunch together again before she nods and watches as Carmilla squats down in front of her.
"Uh, what are you doing?"
Carmilla just laughs and shakes her head.
"Come on, get on. You look like you're about to pass out, there's no way you'll make it 16 flights. When's the last time you got any sleep?"
Laura shrugs and wraps her arms around Carmilla's neck, but starts wiggling when Carmilla goes to stand up.
"What is it, creampuff?"
"Wait a second."
Laura hops off Carmilla's back and turns back to her dad's room, hopping back on a few seconds later with the hot chocolate and the bag with the cookies in it, in her hands. A small smile makes it's way onto Carmilla's face as she takes the bag and pulls out a cookie before handing it to Laura and taking the other cookie and holding it in her mouth while she bends over once again and let's Laura hop onto her back.
By the time the two of them have reached the ground floor, they both had finished their cookies (Carmilla only ate half of hers before giving the rest to Laura) and Laura finished the hot chocolate. Carmilla was still carrying Laura on her back, Laura's face pressed into the side of her neck, when they walked out to the parking garage and down a couple aisles where Carmilla's car was.
"Who's car is this?"
Laura gestures to the black SUV before she slides off Carmilla's back and runs her fingers through her hair, turning to Carmilla.
"It's just a rental, but your surprise is inside."
"You rented a range-?"
Just then the back door opened and out stepped Laf with a wriggling Doc and behind her, in the next seat over, Perry, with a sleeping Finn in her lap and Mattie in the front seat. Laura's face lit up, just enough for only Carmilla to notice, but also just enough for her to count as a small victory, in her favor.
"They insisted on flying here with me, trust me, it would have been just me and the dogs, but Lafontaine and Perry are a force to be reckoned with, also they promised to help me with a couple things, which I am holding against you two."
Carmilla stated that last part with a finger pointed at the two gingers. A slight smile made it's way onto Laura's face as she took the puppy from Laf before she hugged them, whispering a small thank you into their ear. Lafontaine just nodded in agreement, knowing what she meant. When Perry emerged from the backseat of the SUV, she was carrying two tupperware containers in one arm and Finn, still sleeping, in the other. Carmilla grabbed Finn from her arms before propping him up on her shoulder, hanging onto his butt and letting Laura hug Perry.
"Lafontaine and I brought you some of your favorite's."
Perry said, handing the tupperware containers to Laura, who eyed them suspiciously before she realized that there were Perry's famous brownies in one and enough homemade lasagna in the other to feed a small village in the other and they were in fact, Laura's favorite.
After fifteen minutes of watching Laura quietly hold Doc while he, every once in awhile, licked her face, making her smile slightly, Carmilla reluctantly announced that they should get back up stairs. Laura nodded, handing Doc back to Lafontaine and Carmilla handing Finn back to Perry. Laura hugged them both once more before she turned to start heading out of the parking garage, finding Carmilla bent down in front of her. Laura just rolls her eyes, but placed herself on Carmilla's back anyway, tossing a 'see you later' over her shoulder with a small wave of her hand as Carmilla lead them both to the door to the stairs, Perry's tupperware containers in her arms.
Carmilla had wanted to tell Laura about the house her father had left her, which was less than an hour from the hospital, but when they reached the 16th floor of the hospital and Carmilla opened the door that lead out into the hallway where she first found Laura, that thought was the absolute last thing on her mind.
The hallway in front of Mr. Hollis' room was in complete chaos. Carmilla felt her heart sink as Laura's body immediately stiffened on her back, her grip around Carmilla's neck tightening slightly, at the sight in front of them. Suddenly Laura was sliding off Carmilla's back and making a beeline for room 1607, dodging a couple nurses as she went, almost knocking one to the floor in her panic, her hair flowing wildly behind her, but Carmilla was quicker than her and quick to react. Carmilla grabbed Laura's wrist, catching her before she could reach the room where a middle-aged man in a white coat briskly entered, seconds before. Carmilla could hear Laura's brother yelling behind the now closed door, as well as a loud, steady beep. Carmilla had never heard anything more grim.
Everything around them seemed to slow down. Carmilla's grip on Laura's wrist tightened as she, once again, tried to reach the door to her father's room. Carmilla couldn't let her go in there. She shouldn't have to see that. She shouldn't have to see him like that. Her father.
"Laura, no-"
When Laura twisted around to face Carmilla, her cheeks were wet with fresh tears and her eyes were red and puffy and suddenly she was screaming, but Carmilla couldn't hear anything other than the faint sound of Mr Hollis' heart monitor echoing in her ears and the sound of Noah's pleas of ' help him ' and ' why the fuck aren't you doing anything? '. Carmilla knew why they weren't doing anything, though. Their father was admitted here, knowing he wouldn't make it home. He knew what it meant when he was put on the 16th floor, he knew they were waiting for him to die and that the only thing they could do was take the pain away and wait. He probably didn't mention that to his children, but Carmilla knew and Laura and Noah would soon find out.
It didn't take long for Carmilla to register the fact that Laura was now hitting her chest with her tiny balled up fists and the words she had been screaming were more clear. Instead of the steady beep ringing in Carmilla's ears it was Laura's broken screams of ' I trusted you ' and ' you made me go with you ' and ' you promised '.
Each blow to Carmilla's chest became weaker and weaker with each cry from Laura's mouth. Eventually, Carmilla took hold of both Laura's wrists and held them against her chest, bringing Laura to her and wrapping her arms around Laura's body. She placed a hand on the back of Laura's head, holding her against her body. Laura struggled against Carmilla's grip, with every last bit of strength she had, trying to get free, trying to continue to hit Carmilla.
"Laura, stop."
Carmilla's voice was small and broken and she hadn't realized she was crying until she felt a wetness on her cheek that wasn't there before, when she rested her cheek against Laura's hair. Laura stopped fighting seconds later, the only sound in Carmilla's ears was the sound of Laura sobbing into her chest. Carmilla was still clutching Laura to her when Laura's legs gave out from underneath her as if it took everything out of her to go off on Carmilla the way she did, and they both ended up on their knees. Carmilla didn't blame her though, she understood why she was acting the way she was. She understood why she needed to blame Carmilla instead of the disease, it was easier. It was easier to put the blame on something physical, rather than something she couldn't control and Carmilla just happened to be there and Carmilla was the one that took her away from her father in his last moments. Maybe if Carmilla held her tight enough, Laura wouldn't be able to break into a million pieces like she had when her mother passed away from the same cancer when they were 7. Maybe if they sat there long enough and Carmilla held her long enough, they would both wake up back in Laura's bed, back in Styria, on that night that seemed like a lifetime ago and this would all have been a dream, the last three and a half years were all a dream. Oh how she wished this was all just some cruel, twisted, joke that her subconscious was playing on her. Oh, God, how she wished.
Carmilla was brought back from her thoughts when Noah rushed backwards out of the room in front of them, his hands in his hair. They must have shut the beeping from the heart monitor off because the only sound coming from the room now was a silence so loud it made Carmilla's ears ring. Noah looked older than she had remembered, he was more muscular and, maybe it was just her position on the floor, but he looked taller too. His hair, the same color as Laura's, was cut shorter on the sides and left a little longer on top of his head, messily pushed to the side. He had a bit of stubble on his chin that made him look like his father, in a way. He was wearing a military uniform and a set of dog tags were hanging loosely around his neck. His eyes were bloodshot and red and he looked fragile and out of place in his uniform. When he caught sight of Laura in Carmilla's arms, he suddenly looked so full of rage that Carmilla had enough sense to pull the two of them up and place Laura slightly behind her. Laura was so out of it that she hadn't caught on to what was happening, yet.
"Where the hell were you?!"
Carmilla knew he was talking to Laura, but she almost felt as though his words were somewhat directed towards her in a way, if it weren't for the fact that his gaze was glued to the smaller girl clutching to Carmilla's jacket behind her.
"Where the fuck were you?! He was calling for you, he was- You selfish child-"
Carmilla's body stiffened in front of Laura's. She could hear Laura silently crying behind her.
"Noah, enough."
He takes a step forward, bringing his hands down to his sides in fists, there were tears brimming in his eyes.
"You always leave when it's convenient for you. Did you even consider what you leaving could do? To him? Jesus, Laura, you have no idea. I hope it was worth it. I hope you know what you did-"
"Noah! Enough."
For the first time since he started talking, he looked right into Carmilla's eyes, taking another step forward, laughing hollowly.
"Oh, look, it's the Karnstein that-"
"Stop. I get it, you're hurt and angry, but you shouldn't be pushing her away, you should be-"
Noah laughed again, there was no humor in it.
"Pushing her away? You have no idea do you? She-"
Carmilla tried to defuse some of the tension that seemed to be lingering in the air between them.
"Just now, she was with me. We were in the parking garage, she looked like she needed some air, that's where she was, so if you want to blame someone, blame me. I-"
"I'm not talking about ten minutes ago, Carmilla. When he was diagnosed, she-"
"Stop!"
Laura walked out from behind Carmilla, her cheeks still wet, her hands clutched into trembling fists. Noah averted his gaze to the frail girl behind Carmilla's outstretched arm.
"What, you mean to tell me you haven't told her? Oh, this is rich, Laura. Always the innocent one."
"You have no idea what you're talking about, Noah."
Laura's voice was shaky and small.
"No? Shall we recap the last three years, then? You want me to start? Or are you going to finally tell your girlfriend here what the fuck you did to this family?"
Carmilla stood frozen at Noah's words, she had no idea what the hell he was talking about, but the way he was talking to Laura was scaring her.
"Laura…"
Laura shook her head and pushed Carmilla's arm out of her way before stepping closer to Noah, leaving Carmilla in the background.
"I was scared, okay? I was heartbroken and scared and I didn't know what the fuck to do and alcohol wasn't cutting it anymore. When you told me what happened to Carm, I lost it, then when dad told us he had what mom had and it had already spread to his lungs… He wasn't supposed to make it this far, Noah. I honestly didn't think I would either. I didn't-"
Carmilla was beyond confused at this point. She didn't think she would make it this far? What is that supposed to mean?
"Yeah and you almost didn't. He wasn't the same after that night, Laura, and you know it. It crushed him when he saw you in that hospital bed, too high to even remember your fucking name. Do you even remember what happened? Do you remember waking up? Do you remember the look on his face when the doctors told him there was benzoylecgonine in your system? What about when-"
"Noah, please, don't."
Laura pleaded, trying to get Noah to stop the story, but he was on a roll and ignored her pleas.
"Laura, what the hell is he talking about? What's benzo- whatever the fuck he said?"
Carmilla was looking at Laura like she had just slapped her across the face. Laura didn't know what to say, she didn't remember anything from that night other than the fact that she woke up to the brightest light imaginable shining into her eyes, in a hospital bed and a woman in a white coat told her she was extremely lucky to be alive and her dad was sitting in a chair next to her bed holding her hand with tears in his eyes, while Noah was asleep in a chair across from her against the wall. She remembered the uncomfortable burn in her nose from the oxygen she was hooked up to and the unbearable pain in her chest and head and how her left leg had been wrapped in a white cast up to her hip, but she didn't remember how she got there or what had caused her injuries. She remembered how hard it was to breathe and how pain shot through her entire body with even the slightest movement or expansion of her lungs. The doctors told her she broke multiple ribs and one had punctured her left lung and at one point she had needed a chest tube and the scars from the surgeries and impromptu incisions that covered her body, reminded her everyday that she was stupid and reckless but that she was alive and she made it through that part of her life and onto the next. The police told her her car was wrapped around a tree when they arrived on the scene, she didn't remember even getting in her car that night. It took her over a year to finally be able to step foot in a car again, let alone drive one. She remembered the physical therapy that followed her release from the hospital and the counseling and the constant look of sadness in her father's eyes. She remembered refusing the pain medication, believing if she had taken even the slightest bit of medication she would relapse. The pain was barely tolerable, she barely slept or ate. But she didn't tell Carmilla any of this, she couldn't. Even with Carmilla looking at her like she needed to know, the words wouldn't work past her lips and she was frozen in the middle of the hallway in front of the hospital room where her dead father now lay, hooked up to machines and wires and on so many drugs for the pain that he could barely speak or keep his eyes open.
Her dead father. Dead. Dead, as in, never coming back. The words he told her when her mother had passed away were floating around in her head.
You remember how I told you Mommy was sick, Laura? She nodded her head. Her father's eyes were bloodshot and red and his voice was so pained, Laura's bottom lip had started trembling the second the words left his mouth. Well, she's in a better place now, Sweetheart. She's not coming home. Carmilla was sitting on the bed next to her, she grabbed her hand and squeezed it before bringing it to her lap and she didn't let go until the following morning when Mr Hollis woke them up to take Carmilla home. Laura had cried the entire night on Carmilla's shoulder and again when her father dropped her off. She begged him to let Carmilla stay, she needed her, but Mr. Hollis didn't think it would be a good idea. Carmilla was there for the funeral though, along with her mother and when Laura had cried herself to sleep that night, she was there too.
Laura pushed passed Carmilla and Noah in the hallway and into room 1607 with a blank expression on her face. Her father's lifeless body lay in the bed, placed in the middle of the wall to Laura's left. The machines and tubes and wires had been removed from his body and when she placed her hand over his, it was still warm, it was like he was sleeping, she thought. She hadn't realized there were tears running down her face until she was sobbing into his chest with her arms wrapped around him and she thought about how he didn't smell like himself and how frail he looked and how pale he looked under the fluorescent lights above their heads. She whispered I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry over and over again and didn't let go until three doctors pried her from his body and out into the hallway where Carmilla and Noah had been waiting, silently crying from the other side of the door.