The following months in their relationship were complete domestic bliss for Carmilla and Laura. Carmilla started working more on her art, taking it more seriously, and even getting a couple more pieces up in galleries outside of Silas. Vordenburg's deal finally went through and apparently her work's permanent residence in the Kunstmuseum Liechtenstein drew a lot of attention to her as an artist and she started receiving royalty checks from the museum as a part of her and Vordenburg's deal, as opposed to him simply giving her the large amount of money he originally proposed. Carmilla used those checks to pay for the rest of her and Laura's schooling (with a little bit of resistance on Laura's part), leaving the money her father gave her alone and in the bank. After taking on a summer semester to catch back up, both girls were hoping to finally graduate in the near future, after putting their education on hold when Laura's father passed away and with the move and everything else. Laura was hoping to graduate after the fall semester with a degree in Journalism and an English minor, while Carmilla started working double time after choosing to start working on another degree, hoping to double major in Philosophy and Fine Arts and still be able to graduate after the fall semester, with Laura. If it weren't for the classes she took in Paris, under her mother's orders, she probably wouldn't have been able to pull it off, but things were looking good for her and she was on the right track to graduating in the upcoming months.
Laura was working as a paid intern with a pretty big news outlet in Toronto and she had to fly out every couple weeks to attend important meetings with the media mogul who she worked under, but other than that, they allowed her to work from home after the first week. They loved her. Back home, she had a part time job at the local newspaper and that helped with paying some of the bills. Carmilla even started working with Betty again as a sort of gallery curator and only flew back to Silas when she absolutely had to, which wasn't very often. Betty even started paying her. She secretly put the money she didn't use for bills into the gallery's donation box, though, whenever she did have to go in. Theo was even able to straighten up and Betty let him keep his job after he proved himself to her when he was forced to set up the gallery for an exhibition while Betty was out of town and Carmilla couldn't cover for her for reasons she left undisclosed.
The dogs were fully grown now, being almost two, at around 140 pounds each and healthy. They looked like bears with the amount of fur that covered their bodies. Laura loved it. Carmilla secretly loved it too, but whenever she had to vacuum and the clumps of hair that came out of it could make pillows, she definitely didn't refrain from complaining the entire time. At least they were listening to her more. Long months of endless training with Finn and Doc (mostly Finn) were finally paying off. Carmilla could even take them running with her and they knew to stay at her pace without her constantly telling them to heel or Fuss . Laura was even able to ride her bike with them without toppling over and that was a big step, as well.
The house was coming together slowly, but surely, forming into the home Laura imagined it being, and Carmilla agreed to. They were on the same page about a lot of things though, so it wasn't that big a compromise for Carmilla to make. They shared the office space on the main floor, using it solely for school and work, with two identical desks on either side of the room. Carmilla's was significantly more cluttered than Laura's, but Carmilla knew where everything was. Carmilla's desk was Carmilla's desk and Laura didn't dare try to tidy it up, just like Carmilla didn't touch anything that was on Laura's. The guest bedrooms were put on hold for the time being, but the master bedroom and bathroom were pretty much finished, as was the kitchen and living room. Carmilla even managed to set up an area in the basement for weights and her punching bag.
The outside of the house and lawn were even starting to look better. Laura started a small garden off on the side of the house and managed to grow ridiculously tall tomato plants, along with cucumbers, bell peppers, squash, peas, and rhubarb. Carmilla recruited Will and Kirsch to help take down the dog run and install a privacy fence around the perimeter of the entire yard instead, to make more room for Laura's vision of an outdoor patio or a place where they could set up the grill without the fear of catching the house on fire (there might've been an incident that left a large scorch mark on the brick where Laura and Laf tried to grill vegetables and steaks one night), and they had bought an outdoor furniture set and fire pit for late summer nights.
They were content with the little plateau of a life they created.
But they had little to no free time for themselves or each other between working and catching up with school and it was starting to take a toll. They were drained. Even their friends started to notice a shift in their relationship, even with a few hundred miles and a country's border between them.
le 9 decembre
They had a fight.
It was stupid and petty and for the life of her, Carmilla couldn't remember what the bloody hell they were even fighting about, but there was screaming and yelling and crying probably and there was a hole in the wall that left Carmilla's hand in a state that was less than ideal. The whole thing was probably her fault. It always was. The night started off just fine, but they both ended up storming off. Laura to go call Perry probably and Carmilla to walk her residual anger off, but she promised to be back later. It was going to take more than a petty fight to get her to walk away from the woman she fought so hard for.
Instead of going straight home after cooling down however, Carmilla found herself sat in a bar at the edge of the small town, overlooking a large river meant for freights and whatnot, with a cold glass of whiskey in her good hand and a napkin, wrapped around several melting ice cubes, resting on the other. The bar was fairly empty for a Friday night and Carmilla evidently became fast friends with the bartender, who also happened to be the bar's owner. He reminded her a lot of Laura's father with his stocky build, bright eyes, and bald head, and they instantly hit it off.
Laura was on the phone with Perry explaining, in excruciating detail, her and Carmilla's fight, hoping Perry would know what to do. She already explained that it started when Carmilla complained about their lack of a sex life, or more so their lack of anything resembling intimacy. She said it as a joke while they were eating a dinner of leftover Chinese takeout from the night before, as neither of them felt like cooking or ordering in, and watching some Christmas movie on the television in the living room. Laura laughed it off that time, but Carmilla mentioned it again, a little later on in the movie, a pout forming on her face, the take-out long gone. Laura felt something spark inside of her. She didn't say anything that time either. She knew there was a lack of action in the bedroom, as of late, she didn't need Carmilla to point it out to her. Her body told her enough. As if the amount of cold showers she was taking lately wasn't enough of a clue as it was. But they both had been so exhausted lately from taking more than a full load of classes that semester and with finals just last week and trying to find time to relax in between that and work, not to mention Finn had taken to chewing furniture and couldn't be left alone for two minutes. There wasn't time for sleeping, let alone time for sex. The third time Carmilla mentioned it, though, Laura snapped. It was her fault. She didn't mean to snap, but she was stressed about school and anxious about passing her finals and being able to graduate on time and getting through all of her online classes without going completely insane and she knew Carmilla was in the same boat and that sex would most likely relieve some of that stress, if not momentarily, but she snapped . And the look on Carmilla's face and the way she flinched when Laura practically screamed ' is that all I am to you? Something that can get you off in ten minutes or less? Another notch in your proverbial bedpost? ' was enough to make Laura's stomach drop and she regretted the words the second they escaped passed her lips, tasting like acid on her tongue. Laura vaguely remembered Carmilla's wide eyes and her whispering ' No, Laura. God , no ' before she calmly placed her takeout container on the coffee table under her feet. Laura watched her walk silently down the hall to the stairs that lead to their bedroom on the top floor. Laura was slightly taken aback by the loud bang that sounded 30 seconds later and the hiss of pain from her girlfriend that followed. She was even more startled by the angry footsteps that paraded back down the few steps she had managed to climb, then back down the hall towards where Laura was frozen on the couch, fighting back tears. Carmilla was cradling her left hand against her stomach with an unreadable expression on her face, amongst the pain and hurt. Laura had an inclination that the pain etched on Carmilla's face wasn't from her hand going through the drywall.
"Is that really what you think?" Carmilla raged. "That I use you for sex? That I'm only with you because you're good in the sack ?" She sounded hurt. Her voice was too even for comfort.
" No , Carm. I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"What? You didn't mean to say that? You were angry? Frustrated? You're stressed? Upset? You have a lot going on?" She was getting more and more furious with each word, her voice rising to a shout near the end. "I know , Laura! So do I. But just because I want to fuck you until we both can't move, does not diminish the fact that I want to hold your hand and watch stupid movies with you in your stupid pillow forts and buy you stupid flowers and fucking stupid boxes of chocolate…How many times do you need to hear that I love you until you get it through your head that Iwant this? I'm not leaving you again, Laura. Not unless you tell me to." By the time Carmilla stopped talking, she was practically screaming, her chest heaving with the effort, unshed tears in her eyes.
"I'm-"
"I'm going for a walk, I'll be back... later ." Carmilla took a deep breath and turned around before making her way to the front door. She had to physically force herself not to turn back around, in fear of what look Laura was giving her in that moment.
" Carm- "
And that was where the conversation ended. Laura cut off with the slamming of the front door and Carmilla walking down the driveway in sweats and a t shirt, no idea where she was headed.
Perry told Laura to give Carmilla time, that she said she'd be back so Laura had to let her calm down before she could try to apologize. She knew Perry was right, but that didn't stop her from staying up until way past midnight with her phone practically glued to her hand as she switched between pacing back and forth in front of the couch and sitting on the piano bench, her leg bouncing up and down with worry. She tried calling too. Each time she tried, it went straight to voicemail. Laura grew increasingly worried every time the call cut to Carmilla's personalized message, telling the caller " I obviously didn't answer for a reason, so leave a message, if you must. I probably won't bother listening to it though, so maybe you shouldn't bother wasting your breath...unless it's Laura, then I'll call you back when I can ".
le 10 decembre
At exactly 2:30 the next morning, Laura got a call from Carmilla's cell phone. She had half a mind to let it go to voicemail in spite, but decided it was way too late and she honestly just wanted to go to bed, preferably with Carmilla in it, tightly wrapped around her. Except when Laura answered her phone, it wasn't Carmilla's voice on the other line. Instead, Laura's ears were met with a man's deep tone and thick Canadian accent and the sound of breaking glass in the background.
"Is this Carmilla's significant other who she seemed to be avoiding all night?"
Laura's stomach dropped at his words and she unconsciously flinched, though his tone was light and not at all accusing. The man sounded way too calm for the amount of glass that was being shattered to pieces seemingly right next to him. Laura answered his question with a hesitant ' yes ', almost in question, causing the man to sigh in relief.
"Oh, great! My name is Tim, I own The Regatta Bar just off of North Main Street. Do you think you could come and pick her up? I would hate for her to have to walk home this late after she's been drinking. I would gladly take her home, but she's been very adamant about wanting you to pick her up."
Of course she would find a bar and get plastered , Laura thought, but mumbled a ' sure ' to Tim who was waiting expectantly on the other end of the phone, completely ignoring his last statement. She wrote down the directions Tim gave her and thanked him before going to hang up. The last thing she heard before the line went dead was more glass shattering and a loud whoop in what she assumed was some sort of victory.
The drive to the bar took less than five minutes. It was practically around the corner and down the street from their house. At least she hadn't walked far in this weather. Laura pulled into the parking lot and up to a dingy, two story, brick structure with a small light blue, hole-in-the-wall building that desperately needed a paint job, attached to the back. There was one car in the parking lot and considering it was almost 3am, Laura figured that it was the owner's car. She was proven right when she made her way inside the small bar and it was completely empty, the only proof that anyone was even there was the sound of glass breaking coming from an open door at the back of the kitchen to the right of the bar. Laura made her way through the kitchen and the second she passed the threshold into the back alley, she froze.
Carmilla was carelessly throwing glass plates at the brick wall of the bar, along with coffee mugs and the occasional beer mug and shot glass, from a tub that was quickly diminishing in supply. The man to her right, who Laura assumed was Tim, was simply watching her with childlike amusement in his eyes.
"Carmilla!" The girl in front of her stopped mid-throw, plate in hand, and turned to look at Laura with glossy eyes that took a second longer than it should have to focus on her, but when they did, they immediately turned soft in recognition. "What the frilly Hell are you doing?!" The softness in her eyes immediately vanished behind Carmilla's smirk before she sent the plate in her hand hurling into the building making Laura jump when the glass shattered and fell to the concrete at the base of the wall. " Carmilla ! You can't just-"
"Relax, Cutie . I'll pay him back." Her words were slightly slurred and when she tried to take a step, she tripped over the tub of intact mugs and plates, sending her straight into Laura's arms. Laura caught Carmilla against her chest with a nearly silent 'oomf' shared between the both of them. Carmilla started laughing hysterically. " Oops ." Laura rolled her eyes, but held onto her girlfriend as tight as she could, whose head was already resting on Laura's shoulder, soft breaths exhaled into the crook of her neck. Laura could smell the whiskey on her breath and it caused a pang of guilt in her chest.
"How much does she owe you?" Tim had been watching the two of them carefully and when Laura asked the question, he jumped as if startled out of a memory.
"No worries, get her home safe. I'll send a receipt in the mail for the replacements, she gave me her address and she's already paid for the alcohol. I cut her off when she started slurring. She might need to see a doctor for that hand, though." Laura glanced down at Carmilla's limp body in her arms and sighed before she turned back to address Tim.
"Thanks." It came out as more of a soft whisper, but Tim nodded and the small smile on his lips confirmed that he heard her.
Laura managed to get a half asleep Carmilla through the bar, out to the front parking lot, and leaned up against the car, with little difficulty. The hard part came when Laura had to actually get Carmilla into the backseat. She eventually just laid her down and hoped she didn't roll off onto the floor. Or throw up. Laura managed to buckle two seatbelts around Carmilla's frame and hoped that if they got into a car accident, they wouldn't do more harm than good. She made sure to drive extra careful and five under, anyway.
Carmilla slept the entire drive back to the house and she managed to keep whatever was sloshing around in her stomach down, much to Laura's gratification, and only put up a fight when Laura tried to remove her from the car.
"Cupcake no , I'm sleeping. Come sleep with me," Carmilla slurred, reaching an arm out to try and grab onto Laura's forearm, but she completely missed and her arm just ended up falling limp on the seat next to her.
"Carmilla, you are in the back seat of the car. You can sleep in the nice warm house, in your nice warm bed, in your pajamas. Now, come on ." Laura tried to get Carmilla to at least sit up, but Carmilla was stronger than she looked and seemed to be putting all of her effort into not moving from her position in the back seat.
"But I'm comfy , Cupcake," Carmilla whined, pouting.
"You're not going to be comfy in an hour when it starts snowing and you freeze your ass off." Laura was starting to get annoyed. It was cold, it was late, she was exhausted. Maybe she should bring out the big guns.
"Uuuuugh, but Cupcake- "
"Carm. Please ?" Even in her inebriated state, Carmilla was a sucker for the puppy dog eyes and The Pout™.
"Fine, but that's ch-cheating," Carmilla hiccupped, her eyebrows furrowed into a frown. She eventually sat up though, with Laura's help, and was halfway out of the car by the time Laura was finished with her internal happy dance and victory screech.
"What is?" Laura asked innocently, knowing full well what she just did.
"You can't use the pout when I'm drunk, it's effects are heightened by like a bajillion times." Laura rolled her eyes, attempting to shut the car door with her foot and drag Carmilla into the garage without dropping her. By the time they made it to the door into the house, Carmilla was nearly asleep again, Laura completely holding her up.
"No, no, no. Carmilla ! Do not fall asleep, I can't carry you up these stairs by myself!" Carmilla mumbled a response into Laura's shoulder. "What was that?" Carmilla lifted her head, just enough to reveal her mouth.
"I said, ' I believe in you, Babe '."
"Gee, thanks, Babe ," Laura chuckled, " but I don't think that's going to be enough considering I have to drag your drunk ass up two flights of stairs and put you to bed," Laura huffed, adjusting her hold on Carmilla. Carmilla just held on tighter, or as tight as she could while half asleep and drunk.
"Don't worry, you can do it. You're basically a superhero, with all your huge yoga muscles and impeccably unfair good looks...and your abs...definitely your abs," Carmilla mumbled into the crook of Laura's neck. Laura snorted.
"I don't know about that ." Carmilla raised her head slightly, just enough to look into Laura's eyes.
"Well, you're my superhero. And I believe in you. So, onward, my- oh god ," Carmilla groaned and tried to back herself away, out of Laura's grasp.
"God? I think that's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?" Laura was smirking, but when Carmilla's hand shot to her mouth, her smirk fell and was replaced by a concerned frown. "Carm?" She didn't get another word in before Carmilla was half stumbling, half running to the basement bathroom. Carmilla barely made it to the toilet and got the toilet seat up before her stomach heaved and everything she drank within the last few hours was emptied into the porcelain bowl. Laura followed her into the bathroom and winced when Carmilla heaved again, a noticeable layer of sweat beginning to shine on her forehead. Laura's first instinct was to grab a washcloth from under the sink, run it under the tap, and place it on the back of Carmilla's neck, before using the hair tie around her wrist to gather Carmilla's unruly curls into a bun at the back of her head. Carmilla was panting over the toilet bowl, spitting and wiping at her mouth with toilet paper, while she rested her forehead against her arm and Laura rubbed her back, now kneeling beside her on the cool floor tiles. Carmilla's stomach clenched and heaved one last time, emptying any remaining alcohol from her body, before she relaxed back into Laura, her head falling heavy to Laura's shoulder with a groan and a hand on her stomach.
Significantly more sober, Carmilla whispered, "I'm sorry, Laura."
She was out before Laura could even respond.
Laura managed to flush the toilet and maneuver herself so she was leaning back against the wall opposite, her legs stretched out in front of her, her arms wrapped loosely around Carmilla. Carmilla only sighed, fast asleep with her ear against Laura's chest, Laura's heartbeat her lullaby. Laura fell asleep shortly after placing a gentle kiss to Carmilla's hairline and whispering that it was okay to deaf ears.
Laura woke up to incessant pounding on the front door. Or maybe it was the dogs barking. Or perhaps it was the pain in her back and neck from falling asleep on the bathroom floor. Either way she was now awake.
Carmilla's head had slipped down to her lap sometime in the night and her hand unconsciously found it's way to Carmilla's, tangled together and held to Carmilla's chest. Laura's back was stiff and her ass was numb and her legs were screaming from having Carmilla's entire frame resting on them all night. She was uncomfortable and groggy and the knocking and barking wouldn't stop.
"Fucking hell. Carmilla, someone's at the door, you need to wake up." Laura gently brushed back Carmilla's fly aways that got loose from her bun, in a subtle attempt to wake her up. She only sighed and leaned into Laura's touch, still very much asleep. Laura tried again, this time running her fingers along Carmilla's jaw bone and rubbing her thumb across her cheek. Carmilla stirred, but only tightened her hold on Laura's hand before settling again. "Carm, come on. We fell asleep on the bathroom floor." Laura began lightly scratching Carmilla's scalp with her fingernails. " Carm ."
"Mmm Cupcake, shhh. I'm sleeping," Carmilla mumbled into Laura's thigh, her voice a half whisper and raspy from barely being awake.
"Yeah... exactly why you need to wake up." Laura was getting impatient. The doorbell was now ringing nonstop and either Carmilla just completely ignored it, or she was still half asleep enough for it to not even register. Laura envied her.
" Nooooo ." Laura rolled her eyes. Carmilla whining, no matter how cute, only made Laura want to answer the door that much faster. Mostly so she could tell whoever decided early-as-fuck o'clock was a great time to visit them to go away and then she could get into an actual bed and fall back asleep with her girlfriend tucked into her side.
" Yessss . Don't make me make you, I'm sure you're hungover and you probably wouldn't appreciate that very much." Carmilla snorted, but made no move to remove herself from Laura's lap and instead burrowed her face deeper into Laura's thighs and latched her arms together behind Laura's back.
"I'd appreciate you letting me sleep ." Laura had to physically hold herself back from laughing. She was trying to be the responsible one. Carmilla being an adorable grump was not helping. Laura cleared her throat in an attempt at regaining composure.
"Carmilla, get your ass up." Carmilla lifted her head from Laura's lap, eyes narrowed. Laura rolled her eyes, getting the hint. " Please ."
" Fine ," Carmilla dramatically sighed, while she reluctantly rolled off of Laura's body in favor of sprawling her limbs out, as much as she could in the tiny bathroom, like a starfish. Laura lifted herself from the bathroom floor with a groan and an eyeroll directed at Carmilla's childish display, and practically ran up the basement stairs and to the front door, trying to fix her hair on the way. She quickly gave up and just ended up throwing it up into a quick bun on top of her head before quickly throwing the front door open.
She was expecting the mail lady, or a neighborhood kid selling something, or the neighbor asking for sugar, or something that was within the realm of possibility. What she was not expecting was to see Lilita Karnstein-Morgan, in all her terrifying, witch-like glory, standing on the side porch of her and Carmilla's isolated home. She was wearing jeans , how could Laura stay calm, cool, and collected, when the she-devil herself was wearing denim and a white, sleeveless shirt with a black peter pan collar? She actually looked normal and non threatening and like a… a mom . Especially with her hair down ? Laura doesn't remember Lilita ever wearing her hair down. She was actually quite breathtaking, in all her ageless, sharp angled glory, if Laura was being honest. And she looked so much like Carmilla it was slightly unsettling.
Laura was frozen for the entirety of three long seconds, wide-eyed, and slightly scared, before Lilita opened her mouth to speak and Laura promptly went to slam the door in the older woman's face, a bit panicked. Lilita managed to catch the door with her heel-clad foot and it bounced back open. Laura stared at the door before Lilita cleared her throat and Laura's eyes immediately snapped to hers. At the expectant look on Lilita's face, Laura dramatically sighed and rolled her eyes, snapping herself back to reality.
"My daughter has seemed to rub off on you quite a bit, Miss Hollis." Laura managed to refrain from rolling her eyes again, but couldn't stop her hands from turning into fists at her sides or her jaw from clenching. If she ignored the fact that Lilita looked like a born again Christian soccer mom that was in charge of her child's PTA meetings, but also modeled in her spare time, she could focus more on the fact that this was Lilita, probably eats children for dessert Lilita .
"What do you want, Lilita?" Laura exasperated.
"Is Mir-" Lilita cleared her throat, catching herself, and stood up straighter, her hands clasped behind her back, "-Carmilla here?"
"Why?" Laura questioned, with a raised eyebrow.
"I wanted to…" Lilita sighed,"...I wanted to... make amends with my daughter."
"Bull shit ," Laura scoffed.
"Miss Hollis-" Laura took a step forward, getting dangerously close to Lilita, effectively cutting her off. Lilita stood her ground.
" No . You expect me to believe that after everything you put her through, you want to ' make amends ' now ? She's moving on, Lilita. She doesn't need your crap." Laura's voice was dangerously low. She was trying not to let this woman get under her skin, but it was proving to be somewhat difficult after she had to spend her childhood ignoring the signs of abuse that showed from Carmilla.
"Perhaps, it is fair to say that people are capable of change, Miss Hollis." Lilita was just as composed as ever. Laura ground her teeth and it took everything in her power not to slam the door shut with Lilita's toes still in it.
"Really? That's what you're going with? People change ? You had ten years to change , why now? Why, after everything, are you here now ?" Laura was genuinely curious. She wanted to knowwhy , she wanted to know what changed , she wanted to know why she was having a conversation with her girlfriend's estranged mother in the foyer of her home.
Lilita nodded her head and took a deep breath before looking Laura straight in the eye and, with a steady voice, she answered, "The first step to recovery, Miss Hollis, is admitting you have a problem. I abused, took advantage, and manipulated my children for years and it makes me sick to look back at who I was while they were growing up. That woman is gone now, I assure you. I have not had a drop of alcohol in six months, I go to AA meetings twice a week, I am seeing a therapist for many reasons, I have reactivated my daughter's savings for her to do with as she pleases. I even started going to yoga three times a week. I am working on myself.
"I know what I did was wrong. I also know that you are aware of what it feels like to lose someone you love. Different people have different ways of dealing with the grief. The way I chose to deal with Carmilla's father's death, was simply unethical. Laura, I do not wish to be forgiven, I just want her to know how sorry I am for splitting our family apart and hurting her the way I did. It will take some time, I know, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes. I just want her to look at me again without hatred in her eyes." Laura was taken back by the honesty and vulnerability in Lilita's eyes, and if she wasn't mistaken, there might've been some unshed tears there as well. She wasn't actually expecting a straight answer so to say she was shocked, was an understatement. Her mouth was open, but no words were coming out, she honestly didn't know what to say. Lilita seemed sincere, but Laura was supposed to be on Carmilla's side in all of this. What Lilita did was wrong and should be unforgivable, hell, she should be in jail...probably...but...people do change. Merlin , she wasn't the same person that she was back then. She wasn't even the same person she was yesterday, and she had to take that into consideration.
Maybe Lilita was telling the truth, maybe she actually wanted to be involved in her daughter's life again. Laura was intrigued. Sometimes her journalistic nature really was a nuisance. She was about to invite Lilita in, but was interrupted by a small sniffle from behind her. Laura turned around and what she saw broke her heart.
Carmilla was standing at the top of the basement stairs, tears streaming down her face, her eyes red rimmed and bloodshot, her hair still wet from showering, and she was wearing Laura's Silas Devils hoodie and a pair of black leggings with thick wool socks, pulled up to her mid-calf. She was staring at her mother, her brows furrowed, she had heard everything her mother said. She didn't know how to feel about it. Any of it.
"Carm-" Laura tried, but Lilita beat her to it, in a whisper.
" Carmilla ." One word, her name, and Carmilla's face crumbled. Her hand shot to her mouth to muffle a strangled sob.
"I don't hate you," Carmilla whispered from behind her hand. Her tears were flowing more freely now, as she no longer needed to hide her presence. Those four words were all she was able to get out before Lilita was practically gliding across the hardwood floor of the foyer, her expensive heels clicking as she walked, and wrapping her arms around Carmilla's small frame. The hug was awkward and stiff and slightly uncomfortable for all parties involved, Laura included, but Carmilla fought the urge to flinch and escape her mother's surprisingly gentle grasp. Her mother wastrying . Whether or not she was genuine was still to be determined, but for now Carmilla was going to give her the benefit of the doubt because she knew her father's death had broken her mother. She knew her mother had loved him with everything she had and when he died, she became a shell. Carmilla watched her mother's downfall before her very eyes and if her mother was trying to actually be a mother , then she didn't want to pass that up.
The hug didn't last that much longer. After Lilita stepped back and away from Carmilla, letting her go, Carmilla managed to shakily invite her mother to have their morning coffee with them, to which Lilita accepted.
Laura joined the two of them at the kitchen table after insisting she get the coffee ready, along with a mug of hot chocolate for herself. Lilita was showing Carmilla her six month chip from her AA meeting last week. Carmilla held the chip in her hand, with delicate fingers. Lilita watched her carefully as Carmilla intently studied the chip, probably making sure it was legitimate.
"I want to be a part of your life, Carmilla. I am trying. Please, my glittering girl, let me in." Lilita slowly reached her hand out towards Carmilla's cheek and Carmilla instinctively flinched back. Her mother retracted her hand almost immediately, but she didn't look hurt at Carmilla's response, just resigned.
Laura chose that time to place the two steaming mugs of black coffee in front of the women. Carmilla placed her mother's chip back on the table and reached for the mug, taking a sip and inhaling the smell of the freshly brewed hazelnut. Her favorite.
"Lilita, I can grab you some creamer or sugar, or both, if you want any?" Laura took a sip of her hot chocolate, Lilita shook her head, going for her own sip.
"No need, Laura, black is perfect, thank you." Laura nodded her head, silently, she still found it weird hearing her name coming from Lilita's mouth, and chanced a glance at Carmilla. She was watching her mother carefully from behind the lip of her constellation mug, studying her, probably philosophizing. Laura cleared her throat.
"Well, I'll just leave you two be then. I'm going to let the dogs out and shower. Feel free to help yourself to another cup, Lilita." Laura slowly backed out of the kitchen, watching Carmilla intently for any sign that she wasn't okay with Laura leaving. That she didn't feel safe. That she needed Laura there. But Carmilla never gave her any sign, so she was free to finish her hot chocolate and let the dogs out into the backyard before she went back upstairs to check in on Carmilla and Lilita.
Carmilla was tracing the rim of her mug with her thumb, staring into the dark liquid, saying something about needing time while Lilita listened with everything she had and nodded her head. Laura missed what her response was, the shower was calling her name.
By the time Laura was out of the shower and dressed, Lilita was nowhere to be found, but Carmilla was still in the same spot as she left her. Except she had a new cup of steaming black coffee under her nose and both dogs were lounging at her feet.
"Where's-"
"She left," Carmilla whispered. Laura nodded her head and slowly took a seat where Lilita was sat previously. She reached her hand out and placed it over Carmilla's on the table. Carmilla immediately flipped her hand palm up and laced hers and Laura's fingers together.
"Are you okay?" Carmilla shrugged.
"I don't know." Laura nodded and brought the back of Carmilla's hand to her lips, placing a gentle kiss to the soft skin there.
"Talk about a surprise visit, huh?" Carmilla huffed out a laugh.
"Yeah." There were a few minutes of silence before Carmilla broke it again. She took a hesitant sip of her coffee with her free hand. It was still burning the back of her throat when she said, "Laura, about last night-"
"No, it's fine, we don't need to talk about it," Laura cut her off, with a persistent shake of her head.
"Cutie, we do." Laura groaned and slouched in her chair. "But, Communication is key! " Laura laughed lightly at Carmilla's too-high pitched interpretation of Perry, but made no sign to initiate moving the conversation along. So, Carmilla continued, "I'm sorry. We were both stressed out and on edge and I took the joke too far and I was frustrated . We both said things we didn't mean. I know I don't tell you enough, but I love you . One argument isn't going to change that." Carmilla paused and leaned across the small gap between them to press a gentle, tender kiss to Laura's lips. Laura immediately melted, then Carmilla whispered against her lips, "... Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas, ma chérie ," and she could practically feel herself liquify.
"I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded sappy and a lot like I totally forgive you." Carmilla laughed and quickly pressed her lips to Laura's again, the both of them smiling and at the edge of their seats, their knees touching.
"It means something like, 'let my kisses be the words of love that I don't say'."
"Exactly, sappy ." This time, Laura was the one to lean in and press her lips to Carmilla's, her eyes closed as she moved her hands to Carmilla's cheeks. When she pulled away, she whispered, "I'm sorry, too. I overreacted. Like way, way overreacted. I'm so in love with you it's probably unhealthy." Carmilla laughed, but kissed her again.
"Is this the part where we have amazing make up sex on every available surface of the house until neither of us can move?" Carmilla smirked and lowered her hands from where they were resting on the table, to gently run them up and down Laura's thighs, over her jeans.
Laura shivered and left a trail of kisses from Carmilla's lips to her jaw, to her ear, where she halted her assault and whispered, "Only if we start in the office, because I've been thinking about fucking you over your desk ever since we got it, especially when you wear those damn glasses." Carmilla chuckled, breathlessly, her grip on Laura's thighs tightening ever so slightly, her mouth going dry.
"Does someone have a schoolgirl fantasy, Miss Hollis?" Carmilla challenged, her voice lacking her usual confidence. Laura ignored her, choosing to focus more on the faded wallpaper over Carmilla's shoulder than the way her voice dropped and the way her pupils were dilated.
"Oh geez ," Laura laughed nervously, "don't call me Miss Hollis , I think your mother ruined that for me." Carmilla smirked and slid her hands around to Laura's backside and pulling her to the edge of her chair, Carmilla's knees now in between Laura's widespread ones.
"Don't worry, Laura , you won't remember anything but my name when I'm through with you," Carmilla husked, lifting Laura from her chair by her thighs and standing up solidly. Laura wrapped her legs around Carmilla's waist when she started walking down the hallway to the closed office door.
While Carmilla was impatiently trying to get the door open, Laura ground her hips into Carmilla's, eliciting a gasp from both of them before she whispered, "I'm looking forward to it." Carmilla crushed their lips together, needy, as she finally got the door open. She marched them over the threshold of the office doorway and over to her desk where she carelessly pushed everything from her desktop, onto the floor, replacing it all with Laura, wide eyed and breathless as wandering hands made their way to the waistband of her jeans.
le 13 decembre
Christmas was fast approaching and with classes over and the graduation ceremony that weekend, Laf proposed the idea of going out in celebration of Laura and Carmilla finally graduating. The girls were back in Silas for the ceremony, after a long debate with their friends and a couple of plane tickets later. The two of them stayed at Will's new place, in his spare bedroom, with the dogs. Laura first suggested Laf and Perry's again, but Carmilla quickly retorted with Will's offer to crash at his place and Laura thought it would be a good idea for Will and Carmilla to spend some time together as brother and sister.
That weekend, Kirsch and Will wanted to go out to a bar and celebrate the "traditional" way, but surprisingly, Perry came up with the idea of laser tag, and they compromised by making it " drunk " laser tag. Which Perry wasn't as thrilled about.
Apparently, Kirsch was friends with a guy who was friends with another guy that used to be a Zeta and happened to be the owner's son of the local laser tag place. Who knew Kirsch of all people had connections. But then again, it was for laser tag, so was it really that surprising? All it took was a case of beer and a couple benjamins and the gang had the entire place to themselves for the night and free reign of the liquor from the small bar that was used for parties at the back.
Because no one felt like arguing about it, they agreed to get into the same teams as last time, with Laf and Carmilla only arguing a little about their new team name. Team Shut Up, We're Trying - Laf, Carmilla, Perry, and Kirsch - and Team P RED ators (they decided to keep their team name) - Laura, Danny, Will, and Danny's friend, Mel, came as their extra player.
The arena was set up similar to the paintball arena they went to before, except it was dark, save for the neon paint splattered everywhere and the black lights hanging from the ceiling. The theme was some sort of alien spaceship/post-apocalyptic wasteland and divided into two floors. Each floor was a series of mazes with dead ends and staircases that lead to nowhere. Two bases sat at either end of the arena, one splattered in red neon paint, surrounded by red barrels and spiked rocks to mimic a sort of shelter for the "aliens", on the first floor. The other was splattered blue, in the corner of the second floor, made out of what was supposed to be the remains of a spaceship. Both bases had a perfect view of the open-center of the arena, acting basically as a suicide mission if any of the players found themselves walking through it - there was no cover and only two ways in or out. Both teams were set to play three rounds against each other.
With a shot of some clear liquid in everybody's hands (with the exception of Perry, claiming she was the DD) and their "armor" on and guns at the ready, both teams stared each other down, in the "control room", as the computer animated voice counted down from ten. Carmilla watched Laura with a smirk plastered across her face, silently coming up with a plan inside her head to get Laura back from the last time they played pool and from Laura's stunt during paintball.
At five seconds, they all slammed their shots, wincing as the liquid burned their throats.
At three seconds, Carmilla winked at Laura, cocky (and mildly excited, but she wasn't going to admit that ).
At two seconds, two doors, one red, one blue, began opening, sliding up and disappearing into the ceiling. As soon as there was enough room, Carmilla slipped under the door and sprinted out of the room and into the arena, ignoring Laura's shout of protest. She knew it was cheating, but she never claimed to play fair, and technically, the door was open.
She was climbing the stairs to the second floor when she heard the buzzer go off, indicating the start of the game. She found the blue base easily enough and made a mental note of it's location before she set off in another direction, getting a feel for the arena. She descended another staircase and caught Will just as he was rounding a corner. She shot him in the chest, smirked, and watched as his chest plate dulled, his gun disengaging, and he dramatically flung himself into the nearest wall and sunk to the ground. Carmilla rolled her eyes as she left him and his laughter behind her.
It didn't take very long before Carmilla found the red base. It was empty. She immediately crouched down just inside the rock formation and waited. She didn't have to wait long as she soon heard loud footsteps just outside the structure. Unfortunately, it was just Kirsch (she should've known, if the way he tromped about like an elephant was any indication), but they decided to team up anyway, Carmilla taking the lead and Kirsch following close behind, covering her back. They ran into Danny and Mel soon after. Mel shot Kirsch instantly, but Carmilla managed to get both Danny and her counterpart. Or that was what she thought, before Danny and Mel both sat on the ground and revealed Perry standing behind them, her gun raised. Carmilla chose not to comment on that and hushed Kirsch, along with a slap to the back of his head, when he got excited and started sputtering out nonsense along the lines of " Dude . Dude. Dude . That was so cool, dude!".
Carmilla didn't even see Laura once that round. 15 minutes and she only managed to run into her own teammates and occasionally Will, who she managed to hit every single time. She managed to get away with only getting shot once...by Kirsch , of all people. Apparently friendly fire was a thing that she needed to watch out for.
Team Shut Up, We're Trying won that round (mostly thanks to Perry). Laf was second on the score roster. Carmilla hadn't seen them the entire round either.
Round two wasn't all that eventful. After a short snack and refreshment (booze) break, they gathered in the small control room again, this time with two shots each, knocking them back at the start of the countdown and again at five seconds. Carmilla and Laura both dashed into the arena early, the second the doors were high enough for them to slide under, and found each other shortly after. Laura managed to pull the trigger first, hitting Carmilla straight in the chest with a victory ' ha!' and a fist pump. She left a sloppy kiss on Carmilla's cheek as she walked passed her and further into the arena.
That round was supposed to last longer than the one before it. 25 minutes in and after the buzzer, signalling the end of the round, sounded, Carmilla was at the top of the score roster, just under Perry. No one questioned Perry's ability to blow everyone away with her laser tag skills. Laf was disappointed to find that they were tied for last with Kirsch, both somehow only getting two other hits. Team Shut Up, We're Trying won that round too.
Round three was the longest round - 35 minutes in the arena, chasing each other down like excited children on an elementary school playground. They decided to make it interesting. Will suggested a slight twist. Instead of shots that round, they were to each shotgun a beer (or water in Perry's case) in the control room, not being allowed to leave before the beer (or water) was emptied. Perry tsked at the idea, but didn't tell them not to, so they all grabbed a cold can of beer from behind the bar and made their way back to the control room.
The second the countdown started, everyone poked a hole in their cans with a spare key from Perry's key ring and attached their mouths to the aluminum before cracking the top open and letting the liquid pour down their throats, while Perry cracked open her water bottle and immediately started chugging it. Not surprisingly, Kirsch and Danny both finished first and they each threw their empty cans onto the ground in victory before dashing out into the arena. Perry finished second, followed closely by Will then Mel and Lafontaine. Carmilla finished when Will did, but Laura was having trouble chugging an ice cold beverage and Carmilla stayed behind to help, not before shooting Laura in the chest for keeping her back though.
Out in the arena, Carmilla found Kirsch splayed out on the floor like a starfish, counting down from who knows what. She gave him an eyebrow in passing and he simply replied with, ' Laf got me '. Carmilla chuckled and had no doubt in her mind she'd have to go back and get him after the buzzer sounded for the end of the round.
It didn't take long for Carmilla to find Perry. She was crouched behind a barrel stalking an unsuspecting Will who was using a wall as support to hold himself up as he dragged his body along it, his gun aimed in front of him, not realizing he was walking straight into the Dead Zone. Carmilla laughed, shot Will in the shoulder, and patted Perry on the back before finally going to find Laura. It was their final round and her plan to get Laura back was definitely way past due.
It was like an extreme game of hide and seek. Carmilla spent at least 10 minutes just walking around in circles, looking for any sign of a flash of honey brown hair. Mel managed to shoot her in the back once while she was particularly perplexed after running into a dead end, but she did hit an incredibly confused Danny in the chest so it all evened out.
Carmilla's plan was proving to be slightly difficult. She even caught back up with Perry and Kirsch and asked if they had caught sight of her. They hadn't. Then she found Lafontaine and asked them the same thing she asked her other teammates.
"Oh, yeah! I just saw her at our base, she was hiding behind one of the ship parts in the corner so I hid behind the other one and continuously shot at her before she got out and started running away. Man, I wish this place had cameras in here, that was the best thing ever! I could've played it in your wedding slideshow!"
Carmilla just rolled her eyes and mumbled a thanks and headed in the direction of the blue base.
Sure enough, Laura was still hanging around there. Albeit, not actually on the base, but close enough that she'd be able to see when someone was coming, but still be hidden behind the wall she was pacing in front of, waiting for Carmilla. Carmilla huffed out a quiet laugh at her antics before another idea sprang to mind.
With as much grace as she could muster, Carmilla removed her left shoe and threw it up a stairway that she knew lead to a sharp corner and an abrupt wall (she made the mistake of running up that staircase during the first round and almost ran right into the rubber wall) before ducking out of sight. Just as she expected, Laura took the bait, following the noise and starting to make her way up the stairs. Carmilla silently followed.
When Laura rounded the corner at the top of the staircase, Carmilla heard her whisper, 'Merlin's beard!'. Carmilla suppressed a chuckle. Just as Laura began to turn around to descend the stairs and enter back into the arena, Carmilla positioned her gun and pointed it straight at Laura's chest, Laura's eyes going wide as a smirk grew on Carmilla's lips.
"Don't. Move." Carmilla watched as Laura gulped and did as she was told, planting her feet, gun clutched tightly in her right hand. "Drop the gun, Cupcake." Laura did. It landed softly at her side. Carmilla's smirk grew as she took a step forward, arms still outstretched in front of her, her gun still pointed straight at Laura. "Good." Her plan was going smoothly. Carmilla took another step, now only one stride away from the girl in front of her. She lowered her gun. Laura watched her cautiously, slightly confused, and a little bit turned on. Carmilla closed the distance between them with a sway of her hips and backed Laura up into the wall behind her. Laura gasped, her breathing quickening as their eyes met. With one last smirk, Carmilla shifted so her left knee was pressed in between Laura's legs, her right hand gripping Laura's left hip, and her left hand still gripping her gun. Carmilla didn't even have to close the gap between their lips, Laura instinctively leaned forward on her own and Carmilla went with it. She kissed back with fervor, nearly losing herself and throwing her plan out the window when she found their tongues in a delicate dance, but she had Laura right where she wanted her. There would be plenty of time for that later. The second she felt Laura's hips start to move to their own rhythm against her leg, she removed her mouth from Laura's, using her need for air as an excuse to make her way down to Laura's neck, sucking at the soft skin there. Just for a moment, he reveled in the feel of Laura's heart beating against her chest and her quick intake of breath every time she hit just the right spot as her hips ground into the top of Carmilla's leg. Once the moment was over though, Carmilla forced herself to removed her lips from Laura's neck and kiss a trail to the girl's ear, while she slowly raised her gun in between them and pulled the trigger. She felt Laura's vest vibrate and the shorter girl gasp at the unsuspected movement. Carmilla only whispered, "that was payback for paintball," into Laura's ear before she pecked the girl on the lips, smiled sweetly, and turned around, making her way back down the stairs. She only turned around to mouth 'love you', before she entered the arena completely.
Team Shut UP, We're Trying won all three rounds.
Laura wasn't even that mad.