Chapter 12: DELUSION
Shisetsu Akira was a simple woman, slightly on the thin side and nearing her 60's. There was nothing much left in the world that could surprise the aged woman, and even fewer things that pleased her. For this reason, she kept to herself and followed a strict routine. Her mornings are comprised of a daily walk and on alternate days, shopping; though even this small activity had started vexing her severely. For instance, just the other day she had gone to the market and found their vegetable selections appalling. And the prices!
If only her children came home more often. She wouldn't mind the prices half as much if she knew there would be someone at home waiting to be fed.
One curious morning, just as she was about to leave her home, she found a boy sleeping on her porch. He was so tired that no amount of prodding would wake him up. He probably ran away from home, she mused inwardly. He'd regret it soon enough the moment he wakes. Oh how the boy's mother must be out of her mind with worry!
She gave a disapproving tut and then made her way inside to procure a thin blanket. She then wrapped the boy, tucking him in on both sides for good measure before heading off briskly. He would probably leave before she returned.
But when the woman once again came home from her shopping, she found the boy still there, perched on the bench where she had left him.
She wondered if she should wake him. It was already nearing 10 in the morning and the boy still hadn't moved. She shook her head and went inside. Shisetsu lived comfortably enough with the support of her three children, all of whom had done well in the corporate world. So well that their companies could not afford to let them go, even for a short visit to their aged mother. Without really thinking about it, she had made enough food for two.
Really now, she was getting old.
When the afternoon sun was at its peak, and the heat was nearly unbearable, Shisetsu finally decided to prod the boy once again. It wouldn't do to have the child die of a heatstroke right there on her porch. What would the neighbors say?
What she hadn't been prepared for though was the manic way the boy had woken up. He reacted as though he had been violently shaken. He woke with a start, had looked as though he was, well, a wild creature seeing civilization for the first time. His orange-red hair looked unkempt, his skin dry and pale. And his eyes...
It reminded her too much of her elder cousins during her younger days, those that had witnessed and survived the war. One of them in particular came to her mind. She shunned the memory. After all, she was busy enough trying to calm the crying child in front of her.
Still, the way he trembled even as she escorted him inside, you'd think it was ice cold instead of blazing outside.
/Haikyuu/
The boy clutched the blanket he was given, the tremors had yet to leave him. He felt as though he was in a suspended state. In his mind, he knew he had somehow managed to escape the man (the very image of him made the boy shudder) but he was lost as to what he's supposed to do next.
He's out. So now what?
Every time his mind brings this question forth, his actions are limited to looking at the walls before him, at the ceiling high above him, at anything but the question itself. How strange it was to feel so disconnected, so detached.
He hears the clinking of glasses, of plates and cutleries, and suddenly there is a meal before him. The woman has a similar set before her.
"Eat." She said. His eyes looked at the meal; rice, miso soup, stewed beef and some pickled vegetables. His hand picked up the chopsticks and with a quiet 'Itadakimasu', they began eating in silence. The woman didn't question him at all, didn't say anything beyond asking if he wanted seconds.
He politely refused and thanked her for the meal.
The woman set out to clean the table as he stared at her. And then he stood up to help. It would be rude not to. The woman merely nodded her approval and they set out to clear, to wash and to put the dishes away. The only words uttered by the woman were commands of when to give her the plates, or where to keep them.
They were done in record time.
/Haikyuu/
The meal made the boy feel drowsy. He could feel warmth spreading from within him, that, coupled with the blanket currently on his shoulders, he felt like he was wrapped in a cocoon of lulling exhaustion. Slowly he curled on the ground. He could still hear the nice woman walking in a room nearby.
It didn't take long for the boy to fall sleep. Just beyond his level of consciousness he could've sworn he felt someone shift him onto something soft and tucking him in...
The boy dreams of jagged images.
Of running in a never-ending corridor, shadows nipping at his heels from behind.
Of empty grey walls that held no warmth and comfort, and constant light that was both blinding and suffocating.
Of a smile that stretched too wide, and an oppressive pain slowly giving way to unwanted pleasure.
Stop
In the vivid flickering imagery of his nightmares, it is always the man that lingers.
Hiding in the corners.
Leering before him.
Or breathing from behind.
Stop
He is jerked awake by the woman. The world is dark but the air is different. It smells of jasmine tea, and floral incents. He is sweating profusely and his stomach rebelled against the meal he had, threatening to upheave itself right then and there. The boy grips his mouth and tries to still the nausea rising within him. He bites down on the fears of his nightmares, hating the aftertaste of it.
"Toilet-" He gags out before the woman leads him to it.
He feels the soothing strokes on his back as he vomits into the toilet bowl, and though it brings some comfort to him, the tears still fall anyway.
/Haikyuu/
Somehow night comes.
The woman had made a gallant effort to get him to talk; had asked him for his name, for his home address, for a phone number. But to each question he gives nothing but a catatonic stare. The woman sighed, something weary in her features. She mentioned the police but the boy merely looked sideways. Her efforts for another meal were also rejected with that same indifferent look.
Eventually the woman gives up, clears the dishes away and prepares for the night.
"Good night." The woman says, leaving the boy in the living room lying motionless on the futon. Something about the sight tugged at her heart. The sleep that follows for her is a restless one.
/Haikyuu/
The moon was out, casting long shadows around him. He has not seen the darkness for so long, had forgotten that it contained shapeless nightmares within them.
He imagines going back home. Imagines explaining where he's been to his family.
The man appears beside him, a ghost that prickled at his skin, whispered to him all the sinful things they've done together, all the secrets he could never tell.
That he enjoyed it.
"I- like-..."
He covers his ears with his hands.
The pleasure was too much, but the man wouldn't let him come. The boy knew, that if he twisted a bit, the man would hit something within him- something unmentionable, something too shameful to ever escape his lips- but it would bring him release, it would end this. "No- not..." the boy's lips wobbled. "-not there..."
And suddenly he's back in that room. Back to feeling small and scared, back to gasping in desperation...
You liked it...
He imagines how everyone would look at him, with pitying and disgusted looks. His mother, his father… God, what would they say? And Natsu? How could he ever face Natsu?
He is tugging at his hair, feels his chest constrict and expand at the same time, feels an invisible hand clutching his throat, making it hard to breathe...
Disgusting, so fucking disgusting-
You liked it...
Maybe he should've stayed there. Maybe he should've disappeared. Be a boy who just went missing. He could run... he could disappear...
You liked it.
The boy was close to breaking, standing on the precipice with a fall that seemed endless. The wrong footing, another nudge and he would fall-
You could pretend it never happened.
He jerked his head, looking at his shadow. It sounded like his own voice. Like a phantom suddenly appearing, prying his hands away from his ears and speaking to him with reason. He could hear his heartbeat, feel the tense knot in his stomach peak
Pretend it never happened.
That's right. What was this but a negligence of the world, a mistake that should never have happened, that should never be uttered? He looked beyond the shadows, imagined his life as it stretched before him, but this time how it was- is meant to be. He was just a boy, just a boy from a small town who liked volleyball. Who liked spring and going to the beach with Natsu.
What was this but a small misstep?
What was this but a figment of his imagination…
It never happened.
He stared at his shadows, didn't even notice when sleep finally caught him in its clutches.
The boy dreams once more, of a place that was empty save for a still river. He looks down and sees himself, happy and whole, no evidence of physical abuse anywhere. He hears the creaking of metal on metal, and looks up.
Just beyond his grasp appeared an iron-wrought cage, black as midnight and twice his height. The door was slightly ajar, revealing a boy who is sitting within it. He looked small, hugging his legs as he did. His eyes looked dead.
Would you deny me?
The boy within the cage cocked his head.
The fiery-headed boy felt fear prickled within him, and he rushed forward. In a blink, his hands had grabbed the cold metal of the cage door, swinging it shut with shaking hands.
The slam reverberated through the empty space.
You're better off there.
/Haikyuu/
Shisetsu was an aged woman. She had seen many things in her lifetime and was sure there was little left in the world that surprised her.
And yet...
When she woke up the next morning, she found a bashful boy. He fidgeted but he smiled. His actions are reckless but they were portrayed with much conviction. His manner was so different Shisetsu wondered if the boy had a twin, and they had swapped places in the middle of the night.
He said he ran away from home, something foolish that he promises never to do again.
Stunned, the woman asked if he was feeling all right.
He smiled at her, somewhat embarrassed. Asked if they could call his mother.
In a matter of hours a petite woman comes knocking on her door, pale as a sheet and trembling with both anger and (as she bear hugged the boy) relief. His mother thanked and apologized to Shisetsu profusely, ordering her son to do the same. He complied without hesitation.
Gone was the empty look, the quivering, frightened boy she found on the porch, who cried in his sleep and refused the talk for hours.
She wondered if she imagined it, or if children these days were stranger than she expected.
Shisetsu could hear the mother berating the son even as their figures started shrinking in distance, seeing the last image of the boy walking away, hand on his chest and a watery smile on his face.
A/N: Finally got a new beta! She's the wonderful jia . kameda *round of applause* if you're interested in a lil TsukixHina pairing (since you don't find much here lol) check out her recent work Most Important. Happy early Halloween you guys! XOXO