Chapter 2
The next day, I walk into the office for work and Gemma is already there. "Hey baby. Feeling better?" she asked. "Yes and no." I tell her. She looks at me confused and I say "About Nate, yes. About everything else? I have no fucking clue." Closing the door and sitting down, she says "Talk." I sigh and start talking. "Okay, last night, I was closing up and Jax came into the office to check on me. I tried to tell him I would be okay and went back to closing up but he kissed me. Not like the other time but like kissed me kissed me." She shakes her head and says "Holy shit." I look at her and say "That's not all. After leaving here, I get home and Opie is waiting for me. We went inside and were sitting on the couch and talking and he kissed me. Pulled me into his lap kissing me." I tell her. "Fuck. Now, you can't tell me that you think they are just being nice." she says. "I don't know what the hell is going on. But Gemma, I can't get involved with them." I say. "Why not?" she asked. "Not only would it mess up my friendship with both of them, but it would mess up their friendship and I can't be the one responsible for that. Plus, you see the croweaters they have all over them. How in the hell could they be attracted to my fat ass when they can have their pick of girls not only skinnier than me but that actually know what to do." I say looking at my hands. "Sweetheart, are you saying?" she asked. "I'm not a virgin Gemma but haven't had that much experience." I say to her. "How do you feel about them? Friendship aside." she asked. "I don't know. I mean, I care about both of them. I never really thought about them as a boyfriend. Gemma, I'm not delusional. I know I would never be enough for them." I say, getting up and leaving the office.
I walk into the clubhouse and start cleaning up and getting lunch ready for the guys. Once it gets lunch time, I set the food out for them and head out to the office to relieve Gemma. "Head on in and eat Gem. I got the office." I tell her. "You need to eat." she says. Smiling I say, "I ate when I was getting the food together." She looks at me and I give her my best smile. I didn't eat but she doesn't need to know that. I work in the office until after lunch and when Gemma comes back in she tells me to go home for the day. I think she knows I am avoiding everyone.
I get home and my phone rings. I hear the recording, knowing it's my dad, and press 1. Once the call connects I say "Hey Daddy. How are you?" I asked. "Good baby. How are you doing?" he asked. "A little better. I'm not really upset over Nate anymore but now I'm confused as hell." I say. "About what?" he asked. "You know I need the money but now I am kind of trying to avoid Jax and Opie." I say. "Why are you avoiding them? Did something happen?" he asked. "Nothing bad. Just. Well, They kissed me and I don't know why but at the same time, I don't want to get anything started with them because it will mess up our friends all around and I won't come between brothers." I tell him. "Well, let me talk to your mom. I know she could use someone to handle the book work and no one I trust more than you." he says. "Really Daddy? Thank you." I say. Then we hear the one minute warning. "Well, baby, I gotta go. I'll talk to mom. Love you Princess." he says. "Love you too Daddy. Be safe." I say and the call clicks off.
A few hours later, my mom comes by. "I talked to your dad. You need to call Gemma and tell her that you won't be working there anymore. Working with me, you'll make more than enough to live comfortably." she says. "Good. Thank mom. I wanted to talk to you about it but didn't really think that Daddy would be okay with it but it was his idea." I tell her. "Why are you wanting to quit the garage? I thought you loved it there?" she asked. "I do but I can't be around Opie and Jax anymore. They both kissed me again. Not like before. They kissed me. Like tongue down my throat kiss." I tell her. "Both of them?" she asked. "Yeah. I can't do that mom. They are my best friends and like I told Daddy, I can't come between brothers." I tell her. After she leaves I call Gemma, "Hey Gem. Can I talk to you a minute?" I asked when she answers. "Sure baby. What's up?" she says. "I wanted to let you know I won't be working at the garage anymore. I'm going to work with Mom." I tell her. "Your Dad know about this?" she asked. "It was his idea. I talked to him earlier and told him I couldn't be around Jax and Opie anymore since they kissed me and he said for me to start working with mom. He already told her and I start tomorrow." I tell her. "Well, baby, I understand. I get where you are coming from about the boys but you do what you need to do." she says. "I just don't want you mad at me." I tell her. "Baby, I'm not mad. I get it. As long as you are somewhere that we all know you are safe and you are getting what you need, we are good." she says. "Thanks Gemma. Love you." I say. "Love you too sweetheart." she says and we end the call.
The next morning, I walk into Cara Cara and walk up to mom. "Hey Sweetheart." she greets me. "Hey Mom." I say. "Follow me and I'll show you your office." she says. She takes me to my office and I sit at the desk. She tells me what she needs done and leaves me to it. I spend the day, keeping to myself and getting work done for mom. Once the day is done, I tell mom goodbye and head out the door for home. Pulling up to my house, I go in and take a shower and sit down on the couch with a sandwich and water and turn on a movie. I hear a bike pull up and pray it's not Jax or Opie. I look and see it's Tig. Opening the door, I let him in. "Hey Doll. Are you okay?" he asked. 'Yeah, why?" I asked. "You weren't at work today and Gemma wouldn't tell us anything." he says. "I started working for mom today. I don't work at the garage anymore." I tell him. "What? Why? Are you mad at us?" he asked. "No, Tiggy, I'm not mad at anyone. Just some things happened and it was time for me to find something else." I say trying not to give anything away. "What happened? You know you can tell me." Tig says. Since my dad has been locked up, Tig took over the fatherly role when I needed it. "Tig, I don't know what to do. You know Nate dumped me right? Well, Jax and Opie have been checking up on me." I say. "I know. We are all worried about you." he says. "Tig, they kissed me. Both of them." I say. He rubs his hand down his face and asked "Did you want them to?" I put my head in my hands and said "I don't know. I mean, it was nice. With both of them but I it will mess up my friendship with them or allow them to mess up the one between them." I say. "I get it. I wish you would have told us." he says. "I thought Gemma would have said something. Tig I can't be around them. I love them but...nevermind." I say. "But what?" he asked. "Tig, guys like them, don't look at girls like me. I just want to stay out of everyone's way and if it weren't for having to work, I wouldn't leave the house." I say. "Sweetheart, you are a beautiful woman. We go after croweaters because they are an easy fuck. But when we look for someone to settle down with, it's women like you that we want. The one's that love us for us and not the patch. That understand how shit works in the club and take care of us. Just remember that okay." he says. "I will Tiggy. Thank you." I say. "I better head out. Check in with me once in awhile and let me know how you're doing?" he says. "I will Tiggy. Thanks again. Love you." I say. "Love you Doll." he says before leaving. I lock the door and my phone goes off. I look and Jax is texting me.
J: Where are you?
C: I'm home. Why?
J: You weren't at work and I was worried.
C: I quit.
J: What? Why?
C: I started working for mom so I'm still protected. I can't be around you and Opie right now. I hope you understand.
J: I don't understand.
C: Look Jax, you're one of my best friends. I love you but I can't be around you. Going to bed. Goodnight.
J: I don't understand but if that's what you want.
Just when I think I can go to bed, it goes off again. This time it's Opie.
O: Are you okay?
C: I'm fine Opie. I know what you are texting about. I quit the garage and working for mom now.
O: Why?
C: Like I told Jax, I can't be around you two. I love you both but I just need you both to let me be.
O: Fine. We'll stay away if that's what you want.
I don't respond back and neither do they. The next few days go by and I don't see or hear from them. When they come to Cara Cara, they stay clear of my office. I don't answer any calls but mom, dad, and Gemma. Friday comes and mom asks "Are you going to the party tonight?" I just look at her. "You can still go, you know. You are still family." she says. "I don't want to go. The more I distance myself, the better." I tell her. "Baby, you know better than that." she says. "I just need time." I say.
I get home and knowing that everyone is at the clubhouse, I just sit and watch movies. I'm better off alone. I can't get hurt again so the best thing to do is to just be alone. I spend the rest of the night wallowing in my own pity. I get up and run to the bathroom, sick. Not eating these last few days is starting to mess with my stomach. Sunday rolls around and it's time for Gemma's dinner. I have to be there. Mom is driving me and we get to Gemma's and start helping with dinner. "How have you been baby?" Gemma asked. "I'm good Gemma. Promise." I say. "Good baby. You figured your shit out yet?" she asked and I look at her confused for a second before I realize what she's talking about. "There's nothing to figure out." I tell her and she just hums her disagreement but drops it. We sit down and I am sitting between mom and Gemma. Across from me is Jax with Opie next to him. Great. I don't look at them and they don't look at me. I don't really speak unless someone asks me something. After dinner, I help the ladies get everything cleaned up and we head into the living room with the guys.
Mom drops me off at home and I walk inside and head into my bedroom. Before I can get changed, I start feeling light headed and next thing I know it all goes black. Waking up, I open my eyes and I see that I am in a hospital bed. I turn to the side and see mom there. Looking around, I see Tig laying on the couch sleeping. "Momma." I say. "Hey baby." she says. "What happened?" I asked. "You tell me. The doctor said that you were anemic and that you were dehydrated. When was the last time you ate? Don't think I didn't notice you just pushing food around at Gemma's last night." Mom says. "I don't remember." I tell her, looking at my hands. "You don't need to be doing that shit, Doll. Do you know how beautiful you are?" Tig asked. "Tig, stop. We both know that's not true. Just everyone please leave and leave me alone." I almost yell. They both get up to leave. "I'll check on you later." Mom says before kissing my cheek and leaving. After they are gone, I just lay there and sob.
A few hours later, Opie shows up. "Don't." I say. "What are you doing, Cam?" he asked as he takes the chair next to me. "I said don't Opie. Just leave." I say turning away from him. "No, you need to hear this. Cami, you don't need to change anything about yourself. You are perfect. Why can't you see that?" he asked. Turning to face him I tell him, "My entire life, I have been alone. No one wants to be with me because of my mom and the club. I can't do this shit anymore. Just leave me alone." I say as the tears start falling again. Opie says "Babe, you aren't alone." he says. He sits on the side of the bed and pulls me to him and holds me. "I want to be with you." he says. "Opie we can't. I don't want to come between you and Jax." I tell him. "I promise, you won't. Just please think about it." he says. "Okay." I whisper. He holds me for a little longer. Once I start falling asleep, he whispers good night and slips out after I fall asleep.