CHAPTER 19: ENDINGS

Misaki hadn't been expecting visitors so the three quick knocks on her door startled her. She had been sitting on the couch in her pajamas, a tv show playing in the background while she scrolled through her phone. Perhaps it was solicitors she thought and stayed curled on the couch. The three quick knocks were replaced by two loud bangs and a man's voice shouting, "Misaki open the damn door!"

"Rin?" Misaki whispered to herself and lifted herself from the couch, her phone falling to the floor with a thud. The banging happened again, turning her surprise to irritation at what this aggressive visit could possibly be about.

Her hand turned the knob confidently, words beginning to leave her mouth before the door was even fully open. "Why are you banging on…what?" Her hand fell from the knob as her eyes focused on the two, not one, males standing in her doorway. Both were refusing to meet her gaze, Rin choosing to stare at his shoes while Makoto looked above Misaki into her house. It didn't take long to click. The bags around Makoto's eyes, how they were tinged red, the look of shame on Rin's face. In less than five minutes Misaki went from a content girl mindlessly scrolling through her phone to a monster.

"He knows," she whispered and the tears were almost instant. Yet, she felt foolish for crying. After all hadn't see been the one to commit wrong? To break Makoto's heart? Why did she have any right to cry? Misaki sniffled and quickly wiped the tears away with the back of her hands and took in a deep breath. "I'm so-"

"Don't say sorry," Rin interjected, flicking his gaze up to Misaki, "It means shit in this situation. Look I'm going to give you two some space so uh, I'll be over here I guess." Rin pointed towards the front yard and then followed that pathway until he was standing a few feet away.

Makoto and Misaki stood in silence for what felt like eternity, though in reality it was only a few minutes. She had no idea what to say and felt grateful when he began speaking first. "I don't hate you."

"You don't?" Her voice sounded so fragile and she hated it. Hated how she felt like the victim in this situation when she was the criminal.

"I knew you'd be worried about that and I want to make it clear that no, I don't hate you."

"But I hurt you." It wasn't a question, but Makoto nodded in agreement anyway. "How'd you…"

"Rei and Nagisa, they saw you and Rin today outside Samezuka."

"I," Misaki paused and inhaled, running her fingers through her hair, "I don't know what to say. I want to say that I'm a piece of shit and I'm sorry but you shouldn't feel bad for me at all and maybe you should hate me and I can't imagine how much I've hurt you oh my god Makoto I-"

"You're rambling," Makoto touched her shoulder only briefly, but already the touch felt different. Foreign. She was no longer his to hold. He dropped his hand and took a small step back and cleared his throat. "You never took the bracelet off." Both of their eyes fell to the bracelet still clinging to Misaki's wrist.

"No," she whispered, "I couldn't. After our first day when you asked if I was over Rin I lied, I was a liar from the start I guess."

"I knew you lied."

"Then why did you still go out with me?" Misaki rubbed the tears off her face again.

"Because I wanted you to eventually be able to say you were over him and it not be a lie. We never thought he was coming back, I didn't want you to be sad for the rest of your life. Plus, I love you."

This time Misaki couldn't stop the sobs from overtaking her body. Her shoulders quivered and her nose began running. It took several seconds for her to even get words out. "You're…too….nice, I never…deserved…you." She covered her face with her hands, desperately willing herself to get it together. To own up to what she did without the tears, but she simply couldn't. Nothing about being with Makoto was bad. He was funny, kind, smart, helpful, beautiful- everything she should have wanted. But he wasn't Rin. And that wasn't his fault, yet he had to pay the price for it.

His embrace surprised her. Sure he said he didn't hate her, but Misaki couldn't fully believe it. But then Makoto wrapped his arms around her tightly and whispered that everything was going to be okay. "You love Rin," he mumbled into the top of her head, his voice cracking, "And he loves you too."

"That doesn't make it okay," Misaki held onto Makoto's shirt, her tears seeping through his clothing.

"No," he sighed, "It doesn't. I wish you'd have told me right away instead of going behind my back. But I can't say I'm surprised. You two were inseparable in school, Rin even asked me to look after you when he left. Back then I knew without a doubt you two would be together. Guess time and hope just got in the way and I thought I could have a chance. But, hey…hey" Makoto stepped back and put his finger under Misaki's chin and titled it up to look at her, "It's going to be okay. It'll take time, but we, all of us, are going to be okay." He kissed her forehead and there they stood for a few seconds, their eyes locked before with a long exhale Makoto stepped away.

"Okay," Makoto looked over to Rin and Misaki realized how he'd been staring at them this entire time. "You know we are okay too right?"

Rin cleared his throat and awkwardly shifted his weight. "Yeah….yeah if you're sure."

"I want some time though to ya know not be around…this situation," Makoto looked between Rin and Misaki and she knew what 'this situation' meant. Them. He didn't want to see them. "I'll see you when school starts back up okay?"

Misaki shouldn't have felt sad, but she did. She had talked to Makoto every day since they started dating and now she wouldn't speak to him for over a month. Or his family. The twins, his parents, she would not longer be a part of their life. Their entire relationship was over, and it hurt.

"Okay," she croaked and nodded, trying to make herself believe that it would be okay.

"Okay," Rin agreed. Neither Rin nor Misaki moved as they watched Makoto walk away. Watched him until he turned the corner and even then they stayed glued in their spots, unsure of what happens next.

Rin moved first, closing the gap and embracing Misaki in a hug that he needed as much as her. They stood in silence for a while, Misaki focusing in on Rin's heartbeat while trying to let the reality sink it. Her and Makoto broke up. Rin was no longer taboo, yet he somehow still felt it. Somehow still felt far away. The thought pained her but Misaki couldn't deny that having Makoto felt like a safety net. That if Rin left again she'd have Makoto to pick her up. Now, he was gone.

"Rin," she whispered, "Are you here now?"

"What do you mean dummy? I'm standing right in front of you."

Misaki stepped away from the embrace and looked up at everything she'd wanted since she was little. "No. I mean are you here, with me, now. For good. No leaving, no stopping talking to me, no going away anymore."

"I get why you'd be scared, but yeah. I'm here. Promise."

"No," Misaki chuckled and shook her head, wiping stray tears away, "No promises," she looked down at her wrist and unclasped the bracelet. "No more of the past. Starting over okay?"

"What are you going to do with that?" Rin asked, referring to the bracelet.

"Keep it, always. But I dunno it's like symbolic or something, for us starting over."

"Okay…" Rin trailed, "How do we start over?"

"Well I mean normally when a guy likes a girl he asks her out on a date."

"Misaki we've had sex," Rin deadpanned, "Think it's a little late for that."

"I know," she slapped his chest lightly, "But humor me."

"Fine, fine. You uh, wanna go on a date or something?"

"Sure, how about one right now. You, me and my couch." Misaki smiled, though she wasn't sure how. She still felt like the world's shittiest human and her chest ached from knowing the pain she had caused. But maybe, just maybe, things could go back to what she had planned when she was a little girl.

"Yeah," Rin smirked. "Sounds good."

Misaki stood by the door even after Rin walked in. She watched him throw his Samezuka coat onto the couch and slip off his shoes. Noticed the intricate way his muscles moved, ways his body had changed over all these years. She wondered what life would have been like had he not left. Would this just be another regular day with him coming over? Would they have spent countless night holding each other? Would he have gone to Iwatobi? Would they have stayed together or fell apart?

"Yo," Rin stated, snapping her out of her thoughts, "You coming?"

"Yeah," she whispered and walked into her house, realizing that none of the what ifs mattered anymore. Because he was here now, and life wasn't perfect. And thinking life would be perfect was a naive childlike thought, just like thinking that promises can't be broken.

Author's Note: Keeping my word and updating :) Story will be finished next chapter!