Chapter Twelve: Transformation
Night. Remus paced, his restless feet carrying him around and around the abandoned warehouse that he had found for himself. He checked the door for the sixth time to make absolutely certain that it was bolted shut securely. If his potion failed him, he wanted a guarantee that he would be prevented from roaming the streets in his wolf-form. The door was shut and locked in such a way that the wolf within him could not unbolt it; reassured momentarily, he strode back across the warehouse. A window, covered with bars and located near the ceiling, showed a patch of jagged black sky and distant starlight. The moon had not risen to its full height yet, but Remus needed no window to know that. The wolf within him was tense, dancing around the edges of his mind. His spine had begun to tingle ever so slightly, a warning sign that meant that transformation would commence soon.
Remus looked around. He had broken into a different warehouse and placed his belongings inside, in an out of the way corner so that they would not be compromised by his wolf-form if the Wolfsbane potion did not work. Nothing worse than coming off a transformation and realizing you've unknowingly destroyed everything you own, he thought, smiling ruefully. He had also dragged an old, discarded chair into the room—it would be something to gnaw on other than his own limbs. Finally, he had changed into some of his most worn robes, ones that he did not care much about, ones that could be ruined. Usually he was careful to take his clothing off immediately prior to transformation, but he obviously could not run around London without clothes on.
The thought of how some of the higher-maintenance Londoners would react to such a thing made him laugh quietly, but the laugh quickly changed to a groan of pain as he doubled over, twitching slightly. The hair on the back of his neck bristled, and goosebumps rippled across his skin. Almost time, he thought, grey eyes fixed on the grey stars and the patch of blackness visible through the window.
A torrent of pain ripped through his body and he had to swallow a howl of agony. He staggered and fell to the ground, panting, forcibly reminded of the transformations of the past, before he had been aware of the Wolfsbane potion. The pain then had always been worse than transformations recently.
He felt his limbs stiffen, and he knew that the change would begin in moments. Fur began to prick its way through his skin, and in a moment of sheer, mind-numbing anguish, his knee joints popped loudly and reversed direction. Through the hazy mess that was left of his thoughts, Remus longed for the days when he blacked out during his transformations—a sort of natural defense that his body, as a child, had developed against the pain.
As the change came faster, triggered by the fur, he emptied his mind—something he had learned from meditation, which he had taken up around the age of twenty to help himself manage transformations. As he reached his final wolf-form, his consciousness suddenly wavered, winking out for just a moment. Then he regained thought as, apparently, the Wolfsbane potion did its work.
It was a weak control, however, Remus noticed almost immediately. The presence of the wolf within his mind was stronger than ever as it stalked through his thoughts, constantly attempting to assert itself and push away his human rationality. It was a continuous struggle between the wolf's lust for starlight and hunting, and the human's desire for what little peace could be maintained while trapped in wolf-form.
A sudden crack caused Remus to scramble to his paws in surprise, taking on a defensive posture: head, ears, and tail raised, teeth bared in a silent snarl, fur puffed out to make himself seem larger than he truly was. The wolf within bayed triumphantly and tried to seize control while he was distracted, but Remus fought back, finally emerging the victor. He focused on the source of the noise.
A bewildered-looking wizard, the blond Death Eater that had been spying on him earlier, had just Apparated into the middle of the abandoned warehouse. He blinked several times, trying to get his bearings, and then spotted Remus near the corner. His blue eyes widened impossibly and he went incredibly pale. He pulled out his wand and shouted, "Stupefy!"
The spell hit Remus square in the snout in a blaze of red. He had a fleeting second to think tiredly, Idiot, before the enraged wolf within went completely berserk.