Bright sunlight streamed into the room. Hillary rolled over stretching and turning her alarm off. Sighing she looked around the room with a soft smile. She couldn't believe that she had already been living with Rebecca and Michael for over a year. Time had flown by so quickly.
When she had enrolled, she had begun the accelerated degree program and was on her way to graduating a full year early with a Bachelor's degree in business management and dual minors in mechanical engineering and mathematics. She was going to school year round. It was difficult work and took a lot of time and energy, but she was determined to make the most of her education and time in Hawaii.
"Hillary!" Michael's voice boomed down the hallway. "Kahale and Honi are here! Get up or you'll be late."
Hillary grinned and launched herself out of bed. Kahale and Honi were her two best friends. She had met them at Freshmen Orientation. They were twin brothers and couldn't be more opposite personality-wise if they tried. Kahale was dating a sweet girl, Alani. They were all fast friends and nearly inseparable. Her boys, as she referred to them, had taken her under their wing and brought her out of her self-imposed misery. They knew her story, well as much of it as she could tell an outsider.
Tugging on her bathing suit and grabbing clothes to wear over it, she grabbed her bag and jogged into the kitchen. Rebecca and Michael had breakfast made, but Hillary smiled ruefully because she wouldn't have time to eat it all. She sat with them while Kahale and Honi were leaning against the counters smiling at their friend.
It had taken a while, but they had gotten her to loosen up and relax a little. They were on their way to a very important appointment that they had made months ago. Today there were all getting tattoos. Hillary had decided that she would be getting a rather large tattoo on her left shoulder blade. I wolf on a cliff howling seemed rather fitting in her opinion. Wolves were her history and her heritage. And though she still felt the pull and dull ache of the imprint, she was learning to live again.
Kahale and Honi had pulled her from the dark place that she had sunk into. They encouraged her to get out there and try new things, to date, and just be happy. Without them and Rebecca, she wasn't sure that she would be the person that she was today.
"Ready?" Honi asked with a grin.
Laughing lightly she nodded and got up to put her plate in the sink. She dropped a kiss on Rebecca's cheek and followed her friends out of the house. Kahale climbed into the driver's side of the jeep that the twins often shared. She climbed into the back, knowing that the six foot three inch frames of either twin would not comfortably fit in the back.
They drove down the bumpy gravel road towards the main part of town. Upon reaching the main drag along the beach the looped around to find parking. Climbing out of the vehicle they turned towards the shop. Hillary laughed as she was scooped up and tossed over Kahale's shoulder. Her five foot four inch frame, no match for the larger more muscled twins, was easily carried.
They entered the shop and each waited their turns. Hillary grinned at her friends as they were in seats nearby. Her friends each picked out symbolic tattoos that meant something to them, much like she had. Hours ticked by and they were finished. Glancing over her shoulder at the beautiful wolf, Hillary felt an ache rise up in her chest. She missed home and her friends. She missed him, even if she didn't want to admit it to herself.
"Hey, no sad faces," Honi whispered from beside her.
"Little sis," Kahale said with a sad smile, "you'll go home someday."
Laughing she wiped away her tears and they paid and left the shop. They linked arms and walked back to the Jeep. Hillary needed to go to the school library to research for a paper that she had due. The twins thought that she was crazy with the amount of classes that she was taking, but supported her.
They dropped her off with the promise of picking her up around dinner time. She walked back to the familiar section of the library where she had frequented. Walking back into the stacks, she searched the selves for the three books she needed to finish the paper. It was nearly done, but she needed a few more sources.
Time flew by and Honi poking her in her side jolted her from her focus. She was just finishing up the rough draft. Storing her things and grabbing the books they went to the front of the library to check out the books. He took her bag and put it in the back of the Jeep.
"What happened earlier today?" he asked gently.
She shrugged and leaned back closing her eyes. "I miss home," she said quietly.
"You were thinking about him, weren't you?" he asked sharply. "He doesn't deserve you, he never did."
Hillary turned and glanced at her friend. He rarely raised his voice or got angry. He was such a kind, fun-loving, gentle man. Any time Jacob was brought up Honi's entire frame tensed and she could see the anger swell within him.
"Hey," she said putting a hand on his arm. "I can't help it, okay? I've tried everything to forget him, but I can't. I've tried dating, but I can't. He is always going to be part of me, of who I am."
She watched as his hands tightened on the steering wheel. "It's not fair, Hillary," he said sharply.
She knew that if she said the word, he'd sweep her off her feet. She also knew that it could never happen. She was an imprint and needed to go home. Tears stung her eyes at the unfairness of it all. She could easily see herself happy with Honi and never leaving Hawaii, if she hadn't been an imprint that is.
"Honi," she said brokenly. "You know that I can't, that I have to go back."
"I know," he said gruffly. "I know that there is nothing that I can say to convince you otherwise. I just don't like the idea of you going back to-," he cut himself off.
She climbed from the Jeep and ran into the house. Rebecca looked up in concern seeing the tears rolling down Hillary's cheeks. Michael walked outside to go talk to Honi. Rebecca followed Hillary to her room and found the younger woman curled up on the bed crying. She held her and let her cry it out.
Jacob sat on the cliffs looking out over the ocean. His chest throbbed painfully today and he knew that it was Hillary. He nearly went mad thinking that she was in pain. She was alone and she was in pain. Shaking his head he looked back out over the water. He prayed that she was okay, that she could forgive him some day.
Sam ordered him to phase back and go cool off. That had been two hours ago. Beside him he felt Quil and Emrby come to sit beside him.
"Do you think she will ever come back?" he asked quietly.
Embry and Quil shared a look behind his back and grimaced. Neither of them knew what to say to their friend. Quil had imprinted on Claire and could not imagine doing anything to harm her or drive her away. The thought of being separated from her hurt him too much to even think about. Emrby longed to imprint. He longed to find his soul mate and knew that if given the chance he would spend the rest of his life making sure that she was happy and cherished. Neither of them could fathom what Jacob had done to Hillary, the pain that he had caused her.
"I don't think she'll forgive me either," he said hoarsely. "I don't think that she will ever come back and I have no one but myself to blame."
Hillary went through the motions. Her relationship with Honi was strained and poor Kahale and Alani were caught in the middle. She tried to distance herself from them, but they wouldn't let her. Eventually, she and Honi got back to their friendly banter and fun loving friendship. She knew that he cared for her more than she could ever reciprocate. Not for the first time in her life she cursed Jacob Black.
The semesters blurred and new ones began. Hillary threw herself into her school work and pushed herself harder and faster. Something pushed her to hurry and get home. Part of her knew that it was the imprint and another part of her knew that she wasn't meant to be away from La Push like this. There were days where she felt pain, like an open wound and knew that it was Jacob and their bond.
She fought the urge to rush home to his side. He had Bella and didn't want her. He never wanted her. Never mind that they had been friends since they were young children. Sure she had Kim as her best female friend, but Jacob, Emrby, and Quil were her best friends for as long as she could remember. It hurt to know that she had walked away from all of them.
Her mind quickly reminded her that they had walked away from her first. Even though it wasn't their choice, they had walked away from her first. And then they had sided with Jacob, out of pack loyalty, they all had sided with Jacob. She knew that nothing that she said or did would ever change that. There were times when many of them looked like they wanted to say something to her, to reach out to her, but Jacob would pin them with a look and they would all walk away.
The imprints had supported her the best that they could. Jared had been there because of Kim. It was Paul of all people that surprised her the most. He had been there in his own way. Behind is gruff exterior, she knew that he was a good guy. He was an angry guy, but he was a good guy. He disclosed that he wished he imprinted, but wasn't holding on to the hope that he would. Thus he began his never ending stream of bed mates. He certainly had the looks for it, she admitted. He was roguishly handsome, a real heart breaker.
Sighing she leaned back against the wall on her bed and brought her knees to her chest. Looking out her window over the crashing waves below, she let the sound of the waves soothe her. She knew that she would have to go back. She was a little over six months away from getting her degree now and she knew that there was no turning back from the path that she had chosen.
Closing her eyes she fought the tears burning in her eyes. She could feel his pain, she could feel his emotions off and on throughout day. It hurt her to know that he was hurting right now. She wasn't supposed to be feeling pain from him. He was supposed to be happy with Bella fucking Swan. She snarled angrily. She hated Bella Swan, and had no problem admitting it.
Glancing over at the clock she groaned. She had to get up for class in three hours. It had been a long restless night of aching. It wasn't her that was hurting for once, it was Jacob. Because of that, she hadn't been able to sleep. Eventually she fell asleep before staggering into the kitchen blurrily.
"Rough night?" Michael asked in concern.
Rebecca looked up and watched Hillary in concern. "Everything alright?" she asked.
"You need to call and check on Jacob," she whispered to her pseudo sister.
Rebecca stood from her seat and looked down at the younger woman leaning her head on the table. Hillary hadn't been able to tell them everything that was going on. Her father had filled her in on some of it, but because she wasn't directly involved with what was going on with the tribe.
Rebecca shakily walked to the counter and picked up the phone and called home for the first time in a year. Her father gruffly answered and she tried to choke out the words. She missed him, she missed home, but this was her home now.
"Hi dad," she said softly. "Yeah it's Rebecca. No, no everything is fine. I'm actually calling to make sure that Jacob is okay. No, I can't explain it, but you need to check on him. I don't think that he's doing okay."
Hillary looked over at her friend sharply. She trembled and waited for the reply. Michael stood behind his wife and put comforting hands on her shoulders. He knew that this phone call was difficult for her. Her choice to come here with him was difficult for her. They had met and it was bam, like they knew. Michael was instantly head over heels for little Rebecca Black. They had eloped and moved back to Hawaii.
He listened to his wife talking to her father, really talking to her father for the first time in a very long time. Perhaps he could swing things at work and when Hillary graduated at the end of the summer, they could make a visit. Yeah he would have to talk to his boss, but that's exactly what he was going to do.
Rebecca hung up the phone and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Dad's going to check on Jake," she said to Hillary. "He will make sure that Jake is okay."
Hillary nodded and grabbed her bag for class. She kissed her friend on the cheek and went out the door. Alani was waiting in the car for her. She looked at Hillary in concern, but she waved it off. They arrived at school and raced to their classes for the day.
That evening Hillary arrived home and found Rebecca talking to Rachel on the phone. She waved to her and went down the hall to her room. She had three papers to finish by the end of the week. The fatigue was beginning to finally weigh down on her. Six more months, she kept reminding herself. Just six more months until she would be home again. Which reminded her, she needed to call her parents later, it had been a couple of weeks since she had spoken to them last.
Padding down the hallway she heard Rebecca still on the phone with Rachel. Apparently Rachel was moving back to La Push permanently and involved with Paul of all people. Hillary's grin spread across her face as she realized that Paul probably had gotten what he wished for. Grabbing a drink from the fridge, she looked over at Rebecca talking on the phone, wondering who else had imprinted while she was away.
Rebecca hung up the phone and looked over at Hillary. "So apparently Rachel will be there to welcome you home," she said with a sad smile.
"You know that you can come back," Hillary said. "You can come to visit."
"It would be too hard," Rebecca said softly. "I left so abruptly, while I will never regret my life or Michael. I will always feel horrible for the way I left Jacob and dad."
"They were hurt and angry for a while," Hillary said honestly. "However, I know that they would both be thrilled to see you and to meet Michael."
Michael looked up from where he was sitting at the kitchen table and winked at Hillary. She wondered what he was thinking. Usually that crooked grin and devilish look in his eye meant he was up to something. She smiled back at him before going back to her room. There was so much to do, and so little time to get it all done in.