Jacob sat looking out over the bay on the cliff. He sat there every day looking out across the ocean. He tried not to think about her, but he couldn't stop. There was a constant ache that never seemed to go away, but he learned to live with it. He deserved it.
Jane, Hillary's mother often told him that she was doing fine and happy. Hillary was happy and that was all that mattered to him. She deserved it, especially after what he had done. Jack, true to his word barely tolerated him. He would never forgive him and that was fine because Jacob wasn't sure that he could forgive himself.
Three years ago, not long after Hillary left, Bella tried to come running back, but he had snarled at her to leave him alone. It wasn't until the Cullens approached Sam, begging for their help that the pack became involved with Bella's drama once again. When she had come back from her honeymoon pregnant Sam demanded that they leave Forks or the treaty would be considered voided and they would all be slaughtered. Jacob did nothing to help, only sneered and snarled at her when she looked to him for help. Seeing that he was serious they quickly left town, promising to never return. Their home was quickly sold and the pack began patrolling Forks and the other surrounding areas as well.
Last they heard Bella had been turned and her daughter was a half vampire. He didn't care. After everything, he never spoke to Bella again. Not that she hadn't stopped trying to rope him back into her life, he thought viciously. He trembled angrily, wishing that he had seen and realized the type of person that she was before he had let her destroy his life, before he had destroyed it.
Sighing, he looked back out over the water and prayed that Hillary was alright. He feared for her safety often, knowing that there were real monsters out there in the world. With a huff he stood and phased before going to take his turn on patrols.
Eventually life returned to what it had once been. The pack eventually gotten over his idiotic behavior and began interacting with him like they used to. They tried to help him, offered to go out looking for Hillary, but he refused. If she didn't want to be there, then he wouldn't force her especially not after everything that had happened. She was the imprint and it was her choice as to what she needed.
He ran long sloping lap around La Push when he felt a tug. He nearly stumbled when he realized it was a tug he hadn't felt in three years. Immediately the others asked what was wrong. He didn't reply, but raced towards the Brigs' home. The others called out to him in his mind in concern. He waited silently in the tree line he heard a voice he never thought that he would hear again.
Hillary laughed and hugged her parents. He saw the moving van in the driveway and realized that she had come home. His heart lurched in his chest knowing that she had come back. Slipping back into the shadows of the tree line, he silently crept back into the woods. He raced towards Sam's knowing that the pack would be waiting.
Phasing in the trees behind their home, he quickly tugged on a worn pair of cut offs. Walked barefoot towards the house, the door was thrown open on his approach. The pack filed out of the house waiting for him.
"So she's back?" Embry asked cautiously.
"She is," Jake replied. "And I have no idea what to do about it."
"Just go talk to her," Jared told him.
"Not going to happen," Jake said with sigh. "After everything I'm not sure she even wants anything to do with me."
The women, the imprints, came out of the house. Rachel leaned against the door frame with a carefully blank face looking at her brother. It had been hard, but she had kept Hillary's secret for all of these years. She and her sister used to hang out with Hillary when they were younger. Sure she was their younger brother's age, but her parents were often gone at work and their mom would watch her. Pushing off away from the house she approached the group and stood beside Paul, her wolf. Clearing her throat she looked at Jacob, drawing everyone's attention to her.
"She's home for good now," she said surely. "She finished her degree early and moved back home. Hillary has been homesick for a while."
Sam turned and pinned her with a look. "You would know this how?"
"Because I kept my promise to her and kept her secret," Rachel replied. "As her friend and fellow imprint I respected her wish to remain away. She deserved to try to find happiness."
"You knew where she was?" Paul looked down at her, hurt that she never told him.
"I promised her, long before I even met you again that I would help her," she said emotionally, willing him to understand. "That girl contacted me and Rebecca months before her graduation to help her get out of La Push and I damn well wasn't going to deny her. She was broken and in so much pain."
"Well you would know all about getting out of La Push," Jacob scowled as his sister.
The group paused and looked back and forth between the siblings. Embry looked between then and then turned back to Rachel. He had a hunch and needed to know.
"You said Rebecca," Embry said. "Does that mean that she went to Hawaii?"
Rachel snorted, "You always were the smart one in the bunch, Embry. Yes, she was in Hawaii, but it's her story to tell."
"You sent her to Hawaii?" Jake asked incredulously.
"I didn't send her anywhere," Rachel scowled at him. "She chose to leave."
"Enough," Sam said with authority.
They group talked for a while in the backyard. None of them were sure what they would do in Jake's shoes. They had watched him for the past three years trying to hold himself together. At first many of them were disappointed and furious with him for what he had done and how he had treated Hillary. Eventually once he shared his thoughts and memories with all of them, they started to understand a bit more. It didn't mean that they agreed with it or thought it was right, but they understood.
Eventually they all went home. Jake raced to his father's home and entered his room. He sat down wearily on his bad and hung his head in his hands. Swallowing thickly, he knew that he would have to see her eventually. It was going to be an uphill battle, but he hoped that she would let him be part of her life in some way.
Hillary Brigs grinned as she pulled into her parent's driveway. The past three years had been tough, but she worked hard to get her degree. Rebecca and Rachel had been so helpful. She had managed to transition into life in Hawaii far easier than she thought that she would be able to. She still felt the dull ache and pain urging her to be with Jake, but she learned to live with it and ignore it.
She tried dating, but just couldn't bring herself to go forward with the relationships that she started. It often frustrated her to no end, but she adjusted. Because of this she threw herself into her studies. In just a three short years she received her business management degree. She didn't know what she would use it for in La Push, but who knew. She wasn't even sure that she would stay there long if at all.
Once she graduated, she and her parents packed her things and shipped them home. It was a tearful reunion. She hadn't been home since she left La Push. They were upset with how she left, but understood why and supported her as best as they could.
It was a whirlwind two weeks after her graduation that she found herself pulling back into the driveway of her childhood home. The moving truck was already in the driveway with her things. Sighing she turned off the ignition with a smile and bounced up the stairs to the front door. Her mother threw the door open and pulled her in the house.
Nothing had changed, she thought to herself. The smells were the same, the furniture, even the paint was all the same. Shrugging she walked with her mom into the kitchen where she threw herself into her father's waiting arms. She felt his warm arms wrap tightly around her and sighed, breathing in his familiar scent. Blinking back tears, she realized how much she had missed this.
"I'm glad you're home, sweetheart," her father said gruffly.
Laughing and wiping away her tears she grinned at her parents. "I'm glad that I came home," she replied.
Glancing out the window her eyes were drawn to the tree line. Looking around, she couldn't find anything, but felt drawn in that direction. Shrugging she turned back to her parents and began talking about her life in Hawaii. They sat around the kitchen cooking dinner together like that had in the past. Hillary described everything about her life over the last three years. Sure she spoke to her parents regularly, but it wasn't the same. Her parents filled her in about life in La Push over the past three years.
After dinner was cleaned up she went out back to sit on the patio. Night had fallen and the stars were poking through the clouds. Sighing she breathed in deeply. It was going to rain soon. Hillary sat on one of the chairs of the covered back patio and looked out towards the woods. She saw large shape dart between the trees and knew that the pack was patrolling. She knew that she would have to eventually face them all again, but for now she wanted to keep to herself. Shaking herself she went back into the house and climbed the stairs to her childhood room. It hadn't changed much since she left.
Hillary was jostled awake by the familiar figure of her high school best friend Kim. She groaned and tried to bury herself back under the pillow and covers. She heard her friend huff and the deep chuckles of Jared and Embry. Then she felt the covers tugged away.
"Holy shit!" Embry squeaked.
Hillary pulled her head from under the pillow and turned to scowl over at him. She was wearing a simple, but silky tank top and sleep shorts. She also knew that they could now see the large tattoo on her left shoulder blade. Grumbling she rolled over and sat up, shoving her tussled hair out of her eyes.
"Coffee," she mumbled, stumbling out of the bed past them.
She ignored Kim's snort and the shocked looks of her male friends. Padding down the stairs into the kitchen she grabbed a coffee mug and poured the hot, dark liquid into the cup, breathing in the rich aroma. Taking a sip she sighed. She heard the others come back down into the kitchen and slowly turned to face them, leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Where the Hell were you, Hillary?" Embry stuttered out. "And what did they do to you there? Where is the sweet innocent Hillary?"
Hillary smirked into her coffee and grinned playfully. She finished drinking her coffee before turning to pour a second cup and reached up in the cupboard for pancake mix. She heard Emrby swear again as her tank top rose up in the back. Smirking to herself, she ignored their reactions and began mixing batter.
"I went to Hawaii," she said as she began making enough breakfast for all of them. "I stayed with Rebecca and Michael while I was there. At first it was only supposed to be temporary, but it felt like home. I'm sure you're wondering why, but we can get to that after breakfast, please."
Embry grumbled darkly, but quieted when she pinned him with a look. She wasn't the same broken girl anymore. She had learned to live with her situation and to take care of herself. Dishing out the meal she sat on the kitchen chair with her feet curled under her and ate quietly for a while.
Sighing she glanced up and found that they were watching her carefully. Hillary pushed her plate away and met their eyes. Shrugging she looked down before looking at them again.
"I wasn't going to stay and allow myself to be treated like that anymore," she said quietly. "None of the other imprints were treated that way and I wasn't about to accept it. So I made plans and left. No, don't interrupt me. Do you think if you had known that I would have been allowed to follow through with my plans? I had to leave and maybe I should have contacted you, but I needed space from all of this. It hurt too much."
Kim was out of her chair and her arms around her childhood best friend as she blinked back tears. She couldn't imagine what Hillary had felt. Since imprinting, Jared had always cherished her and treated her with so much care. It ached to think about being away from him or to have him behave the way that Jacob had.
As if sensing her thoughts Jared met her eyes with a pained, but understanding look. Embry watched his friend quietly. He ached for the familiar pain he saw in her eyes. No, he couldn't blame her, but he hoped that she would let them in her life again.
"So what is your degree in?" he asked with a small smile.
"I have a Bachelor's in Business Management and dual minors in Mechanical Engineering and Math," she said tiredly.
"Jeez," he whistled. "Way to be an over achiever."
She snorted as she grabbed the plates to wash them in the sink. "I figured I could use a business degree anywhere," she said with a shrug. "I've always like math and sciences."
Hillary was wiping her hands dry looking out the back window towards the woods. She knew that they wanted more answers and she wasn't sure what she should say, what she could say. Her chest ached, rubbing it with a wince, she tore her eyes away from the woods towards the concerned looks of her childhood friends.
"It still hurts?" Kim asked.
"It always hurts," Hillary said bitterly. "I thought I was doing everyone a favor leaving, but the pain has only gotten worse. I tried to be happy, tried to have a life away from here, but apparently I can't."
"Hillary," Embry said in a pained voice. "You didn't have to leave."
"Of course I did," she scoffed. "Do any of you have any idea of the pain I went through on a daily basis while I was here? Or the pain I felt every time he paraded her around in front of me? I just couldn't do it anymore."
Emrby whimpered and put his head down on the table. Not for the first time since Jacob imprinted he wished that he had been able to stop the idiot. Or perhaps that he had imprinted on her instead. He had always liked her and cared for her, but not in a romantic way. He would have at least taken care of her though.
Her cell phone interrupted them all from their thoughts. Hillary grabbed it from where it was charging on the counter and grinned. Her smile widened when she saw who was calling.
"Honi!" she laughed as she answered. "Yes, I know I forgot to call! I'm fine and back home. What do you mean? When? Seriously? I can't wait! What? Why did Alani and Kahale split? I guess if they're both happier. Well let me know when, I miss you."
Hillary smiled softly down at her phone. She would really miss her friends and life in Hawaii. Part of her wished that she could ignore the imprint and stay there. Glancing back at the table she noticed that Kim was looking at her in concern while Embry and Jared seemed to be struggling to remain calm.
"Who was that?" Embry gritted out.
"My friend Honi," Hillary said in confusion. "I forgot to call and let him know that I made it home last night."
"Him?" Jared asked. "Tell me you didn't, Hillary!"
Kim watched her face go through a range of emotions before it went blank. This was not going to be good. No, not good at all. Sighing, she knew the boys had really messed this up. It was the same as it had been before Hillary left.
"I think you need to leave," Hillary said evenly. "Not that it's any of your business, but no I'm not with anyone. Not for a lack of trying though. Believe me if it wasn't for this damn imprint I probably would have stayed in Hawaii and married him. But I can't I'm stuck with this stupid fucking bond that neither of us want. But apparently what I want or need doesn't matter to any of you, it never has. So you can leave and not come back. Just leave me the Hell alone. I'm beginning to think that coming back here was a mistake."
"Hillary," Kim whispered, stepping closer.
Hillary wrenched away and glared, "You should go, Kim and take your friends with you."
"Please, Hillary," Kim said through tears. "They didn't mean it!"
"Of course they meant it," she snapped. "Didn't you know that everything is always my fault. God, nothing has changed. Not a fucking thing has changed. I should have just stayed away."
"Please, Hillary," Embry whispered hoarsely.
She held up a hand to stop him. "You should leave now," she said before turning her back to them.
Hillary left to room and went upstairs to her room slamming the door shut. She heard them leave the house and then let the tears fall. Dragging herself to the shower, she got it out of her system before getting dressed for the day. Pulling on a pair of shorts and a tank top, she pulled her curly black hair up into a messy bun.
Grabbing a flannel shirt and slipping on her shoes, she left the house. Tucking her keys and phone into her pocket she started walking. Breathing in deeply, she tried to calm down, tried not to panic and run. She was done running.
Hillary walked for most of the day, not paying attention to the time or where she was going. Eventually she found herself at First Beach. Kicking off her shoes she walked to a large piece of driftwood and sat, digging her feet into the sand. Pulling her phone out of her pocket she saw that she had a dozen unanswered text messages and two voicemails from her parents. She called them back because they were frantic messages begging her not to leave again. Apparently when Kim and company had left, they called her parents, concerned that she would leave again.
Hillary snorted, texting people back that she felt like talking to. With the exception of Rachel, she ignored the messages from people involved with the pack. She had nothing to say to any of them.
A warm body dropped on the log beside her startling her from her thoughts. Glancing over she noticed Paul was sitting beside her looking uncertain and concerned. Behind him stood Rachel, looking equally concerned and more than a little annoyed.
"I've been trying to reach you for hours," Rachel said smartly.
"I needed to clear my head," Hillary said evenly. "After being ambushed by them this morning, I needed to clear my head before I did anything rash."
"So you won't leave again?" Paul asked uncertainly.
Hillary glared at him and stood to walk until the water lapped at her ankles. Drawing in deep breaths she could hear more heavy footfalls approaching. Damn it, she didn't want to face the pack. She didn't want anything to do with any of them, but apparently she wasn't going to get a choice, again.
Turning back, she realized that she was right. The pack was here, as were the imprints. Hillary sneered at Kim who stood behind a pained looking Jared. Emrby whimpered from beside him. Good, she thought darkly.
Getting pissed off she yanked off the flannel shirt and tossed her keys and phone to Rachel. Not looking back she turned back to the water, ignoring the murmuring about her tattoo. Wading out into the surf, the cold bite of the water calmed her and steadied her. Dunking under the water she resurfaced with a slight gasp. Yeah, this water was not the same as the warm water of Hawaii.
Wading out of the water, she wrung her hair out and walked over to Rachel, ignoring the others. She could feel their stares. Let them look, she thought to herself.
"Remind me next time that it's fucking freezing!" she laughed to Rachel. "I forgot it was so cold here. The water in Hawaii is like bath water in comparison."
"I think we should head back to the house to talk," Sam said deeply.
"By all means go back to your house," she replied evenly, facing him for the first time in three years. "I've got nothing to say to any of you. Those of you have spoken to made your low opinions of me known this morning and I have no desire for more."
There was a growl and a snarl from nearby, but she refused to turn or acknowledge it. "I'm not sure how long I'll be staying, or if I'm staying," she told Sam. "What I do, how I live my life is none of your business. I don't answer to you, so please just leave me alone."
"You don't understand," he said, clearly trying to remain calm. "There are things that happened while you were away."
"I don't give a damn about what happened," she cried. "I left for a reason, or had you all forgotten what my life was like leading up to my departure? I'm supposed to go back to caring and slowly dying? I think not!"
"Hillary, please," Rachel said softly. "I haven't asked anything of you. I'm asking you to please hear us out."
"Fine, but I'm not going anywhere," she said crossing her arms. "You want to talk, start talking. But one word about Bella fucking Swan and I will go back to Hawaii without a second thought or glance."
"Some of it involves her," Rachel said tiredly. "But she's gone Hillary."
"Well lah-tee-fucking-dah," Hillary sneered. "I'm supposed to now pretend that you all weren't assholes to me. That I wasn't treated like shit for months? Guess again."
Leah and Paul snorted, but Hillary glared at them. "You can explain it, but so help me Rachel do not make me regret it," Hillary said.
"We have no right to ask anything of you, Hillary," Rachel said softly. "Not after everything. And I'm sorry for what they said to you this morning. I'm sorry that you were imprinted on by my asshole brother. I'm sorry that the imprint has done nothing but hurt you. I'm sorry that you couldn't find true happiness in Hawaii."
"Rachel," Hillary said with her voice choked with tears, "Stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong. You have nothing to be sorry for. Let's just get this over with."
Sam started talking and Hillary kept her eyes on him and him alone. She listened to what happened when she immediately left. She listened to what happened with Bella Swan and her bloodsucking fiends she now called family. She watched him talk with dispassionate eyes and nodded when he was done.
"So does that mean you'll stop phasing?" she asked him, not looking at anyone else.
"No, we still have rogues show up often," Sam said tiredly. "The Cullens being here drew attention to the area."
She was going to say something when her phone went off again. Glancing up she met the eyes of Kim, Jared, and Emrby and watched them tense. Rolling her eyes she took her phone from Rachel.
"Hi Kahale," she said tiredly. "No, everything's fine, how are you? Honi said that you and Alani decided to split, are you okay? Yeah, sometimes being friends is better. Yeah, I made it home fine, just got out of the water actually. Yeah, not the same. I miss Hawaii and you guys. I'll talk to you later."
Glancing up she saw the group watching her carefully. She shrugged and tugged on the flannel shirt and grabbed her keys. Bending to grab her shoes she looked up to meet the curious stare of Paul.
"Kahale? Honi? Alani?" he asked.
"My best friends," she said with a shrug. "I met Kahale and Honi at Freshmen Orientation and Alani and Kahale dated for a couple of years, so we became friends as well."
"But they're guys," he said slowly.
Hillary rolled her eyes and laughed, "Yes, they are guys. I've always gotten along better with guys," she told him. "I grew up with Jacob, Quil, and Embry for crying out loud. Well, that is until I was ditched, but life goes on."
She heard Jacob suck in a breath when she had said his name. Hillary still refused to face him, to even look at him. She was ignoring the tug that urged her to throw herself in his arms.
"You know we had no choice," Emrby said hoarsely.
"There's always a choice in life, Emrby," she replied.
"I issued and Alpha order," Sam rumbled.
"Have you stopped to think about the lives and families you have or are destroying doing so?" she asked hotly. "How many parents or siblings are clueless? How many relationships are destroyed?"
"What I say goes!" he shouted. "It's the only way to keep people safe!"
"It was never meant to be your word though was it?" she retorted. "It's not the only way, it's just what you've chosen and refused to think about a different way."
She watched him trembled and snarl. Paul launched himself in front of her and Rachel and the others stepped forward. Hillary knew that she shouldn't have pushed, but she was tired of this entire situation.
"We all know who is supposed to be the Alpha," she said firmly. "Someday when he's ready to grow up and grow a set, he will need to step up. You will have to step down and you need to start accepting that now, Sam. You can't and won't always get your way, so get over it."
He growled and snarled at her, and then just as quickly the fight went out of him. Clenching his jaw he glared at her and nodded before turning towards home. He walked away quickly with Emily trailing behind him wringing her hands in concern.
Hillary deflated and lifted a shaking hand to her face. Good Lord, nothing was going right. Tears stung her eyes. And not for the first time, she wished that she had just stayed in Hawaii.
"You've got a brass set, Hillary," Paul said with a smirk.
She smiled through tears up at him and threw her arms around him. "God, I missed you, Paul," she said tiredly.
He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her and leaned in. Rachel stood beside them with a gentle smile. She knew from Paul and Hillary that they two had been there for each other. Paul had tried to help Hillary through things before she left.
Hillary pulled back with a playful smile, "I guess you got your wish," she said nodding towards Rachel.
He ducked his head in embarrassment before a beautiful smile lit up his whole face. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to. Hillary watched him turn to look at Rachel with such a look of love and devotion it took her breath away.
She pulled back and stepped out of his arms. He threw an arm around her shoulders and drew Rachel to his other side. He glanced down at Hillary with a roguish grin and eyes full of mischief.
"A tattoo, Hillary?" he asked.
Hillary laughed throatily. "I have a few," she said with a wink.
He looked down at her in shock. "What? Where?" he asked.
"Are we playing show and tell?" she asked playfully.
"Who are you and what have you done with sweet, innocent Hillary?" Quil asked.
"I'm the same person that I always was," she said finally looking over towards the man that had once been one of her closest friends. "I just learned to live with the hand I've been dealt."
"And that includes tattoos?" he asked in surprise.
"Kahale, Honi, and I went to get them about a year after I arrived," she said with a shrug. "I have another that wraps from my left ribcage around my back up towards my right shoulder. I also have another on my right hip."
"Wait don't you have to be, you know, naked to get tattoos?" Seth asked awkwardly.
She heard Jacob snarl from beside him and she burst out laughing. Tears streamed down her face she was laughing so hard. Leaning into Paul, she tried, but she couldn't stop.
"Seriously?" she gasped. "Naked? No, you do need to have the area of the tattoo bare, but you don't have to romp around bare-assed, jeez kid!"
"What?" Seth asked sheepishly.
"Idiot," Paul snorted.
"Alright, I need to head back home," Hillary said standing and pinning Kim with a glare. "Someone called my parents in hysterics telling them I was leaving."
"Hey, don't be mad at me!" Kim cried. "You said you wished you had stayed in Hawaii!"
Hillary felt and heard Jacob whimper. She felt his pain through the bond and rubbed her chest. Finally she raised her eyes to meet his. The agony she found there took her breath away. Everything else fell away and there was only him.
"Hillary," he whispered, taking a step towards her.