AN: Hey guys! I know it's been a while, but I've got another chapter for you. As I get into the summer, there will be more chapters coming on the regelo' (that means more regulary for you normies out there).

Now that that weirdness is over with, here ya go!

All rights to Supreme Leader Rick. Long live the Supreme Leader!

Previously...

"What do you mean? Is there something stronger than Tartarus?" Aphrodite asked slowly.
I couldn't help but chuckle at the question. "Well, of course, there is! I kill 20 beings stronger than Tartarus every week! Do you really think you're at the center of everything? You're not even the only pantheon on Earth!" I told them.
Dionysus asked, "Does that mean that all the human's gods are real?"
I rubbed my temples, trying not to let their ignorance give me a headache. I sighed in frustration and said "Yes, booze dude. As long as they have influence, they have power."
The gods were slack-jawed. I rolled my eyes as their narrow-minded brains tried to comprehend all the other gods that exist. It was almost funny how unbearably naive they were. The Olympians thought they were the only immortals in the universe, but they weren't even the only gods on Earth. I was starting to remember why I left three years ago.
"Well, as much fun as this was not, I have to get going. I have to do literally anything else. I won't see you later! Bye!" I waved cheekily as I opened a portal that opened into darkness. As I turned to leave, Poseidon shouted for me.
"Wait!" he exclaimed, "Don't go! We need you!"
I turned around and sighed "Sorry, but I don't need you." With that, I walked through the portal.

Now...

I stepped out of the portal into my Los Angeles apartment. I got a place in LA because when I was being a big, mopey, pussy about my mom dying, I couldn't handle being in New York City. The memories were too painful. But after six months in LA, I was in love with the city. I can't remember if it was the funky layout, the famous celebrities, the tourist attractions, – no, wait, now I remember. It was the cocaine.

"Ah, nothing better to come home to than four lines of coke all cut and ready to blow!" I sighed to myself. I hurried through all four lines in rapid succession. I frantically sprinted over to the minibar and gulped down a full glass of scotch, eager to forget the world around me.

And forget I did.

I only remember parts of the next seventy-two hours. It flashed by me like an action movie trailer. I saw myself taking a piss in Hades' garden. I somewhat remember mooning the hunters. I think I saw myself riding Chiron and yelling "Yeehaw!", but I'm not sure if that's real or a hallucination. I definitely remember wiping my ass with Zeus' master bolt.

When I finally came to, I was naked, in the Camp Half-Blood woods, and my left foot was facing the wrong direction. Not to mention I had a massive hangover. Distant sounds of the clashing of metal rang out. I checked my watch and realized it was Friday.

I was in the middle of a capture-the-flag game.

I tried to summon clothes and fix my foot, which was starting to make me nauseous, but my head was splitting itself open, and I couldn't concentrate. My whole body was aching. I tried to lift my head in order to sit up, but that yielded no result. I collapsed on the forest floor from the strain of effort. I watched the birds fly overhead as I waited for the sweet release of death.

"That's not going to happen anytime soon." I inwardly mumbled. As nice as that would be, I'm too powerful for death. I probably can't be killed by anything on Earth. So instead, I waited for the awkward encounter that was sure to follow someone discovering me in this awkward position.

As the clanging of swords on shield grew closer, I silently cursed myself for ending up here. Of all the places to end up naked and shitfaced, this had to be the worst one of all. I prayed that the gods would take a little pity on me, and make this as swift and painless as possible. The author said, setting up a painful and awkward situation.

"Sup, Seaweed Dick." Annabeth said, breaking the silence, "You wouldn't happen to have the Ares flag lodged up your asshole, would you? I've been looking for it."

"Heyyy..." I stuttered as I tried to curl my body into a defensive position, "Long time, no see?"

She grunted as she thrust her sword in between my legs, a mere three inches from my manhood. "Really, is that the best you got? No sorry, no excuses, no begging for mercy?! That's what I'd be doing if I were you!" she seethed. Her gray eyes were a tempest, ready to shoot lightning and blast me to smithereens. I winced at the yelling, which wasn't helping my headache.

"Fine! Since you're still hungover from whatever you were doing – wait, is that cocaine on your nose?! – never mind, I'll do the talking!" she said, shaking with anger, "When you left, it tore me apart all over again! We had a future! And you threw that all away, just because you got scared of losing anyone again! Is that right?"

I couldn't look her in the eye. Apparently, she took that for an answer.

She sighed and nodded her head with a half-hearted smile. "I just thought you were different. I thought you cared about me. For the first time in a while, I'm wrong." she said quietly. She looked wistfully at me as if I was about to disappear into thin air. It took all my courage to give her a response.

"Got any weed?" I asked hopefully. "I'm so wasted right now, I need something to take the edge off."

She swiftly snatched her sword out of the ground, and I covered my dick for fear of castration. Thankfully, it was a group of Ares kids looking for the flag. One of the juiceheads swung his sword in an executioner's blow, but Annabeth rolled to the right and kicked his left foot out from underneath him while she deflected a blow from another Ares girl. The big dude fell to the floor as Annabeth simultaneously defended both Ares kids. She switched back and forth from them so many times it gave me whiplash just watching her. She blocked one overhead blow from the right while sidestepping a jab from the left. The guy on the left ended up impaling the girl on the right, and Annabeth knocked both of them over the head.

"They really need to lay off the steroids." I commented, "I think it interferes with blood flow to the brain." Annabeth just rolled her eyes, and begrudgingly she gave me a hand up.

She turned to me and said "Look, just for the record, I'm only helping you because I can't wait to see the look on everyone's face as you walk into camp naked. Don't get any ideas."

I smirked and replied "You sure it's not 'cuz you get to touch me while I'm naked? I know you like what I got."
I received a punch to the groin for my trouble. I doubled over as my vision went red. I hadn't felt physical pain since I got my powers. I held my mouth shut to keep myself from singing soprano.

"Any other smartass-ery, Seaweed Dick?" she mocked.

"I'll take that weed now," I replied.

Annabeth hauled me back into camp like a lion dragging a gazelle across the Serengeti. I didn't really want to see the camp again, especially not while I'm buck naked. Since I still couldn't concentrate enough to summon clothes, I was stuck in my birthday suit. The dense, dark forest began to give way to the open air and sunshine of Camp Half-Blood, my former home.

Since I was eleven, every time I had come to Camp Half-Blood, I felt like I was wrapped in a warm, sunshine hug that would care for me and keep me safe. But now that I had acquired my power, all I could see was the pale and frail skeletons of my former campmates. Jawbones chattered underneath the dining pavilion. Skeletal hands clawed their way up the rock wall. Skin and bones danced with their swords in the arena in some eerie ghost ritual. It seemed like just a strong wind would blow it all away. Despite the fact that I was still naked, I felt more protected then the whole camp.

As we got into camp I staggered into the infirmary, and without saying a word, I crashed on the cot. What I wasn't prepared for was the sheer force of my falling weight shattering the cot frame into splinters. The cot came down with a huge crack, and I rag-dolled to the floor.

"Whoopsie daisy!" I exclaimed. Annabeth just rolled her eyes at me and yanked my arm up.

"You're an idiot, Percy," she said exasperatedly. I struggled not to bite back at her with anything that might land me a punch in the balls. Annabeth called over a couple of the Apollo kids, but by the time they got to me I had already blacked out.

I hadn't had as many nightmares since I acquired my powers, but this time was different. I was floating in what seemed to be Earth's orbit, staring out at the stars. As I stared into the depths of space, I noticed something was weird. Constellations were moving across the sky, swimming through the inky black of the space around them. Their movements seemed to be full of anguish as they squirmed. I started to hear the whispers of a few different voices, all muttering about the same thing.

"Justice..." one hissed. "Revenge... sweet revenge..." another mumbled. The constellations were pissed about something. They all started to swarm together, got more solid, and got closer to earth. Slowly their chants got louder, and their whispers became desperate cries.

"Justice... Justice... JUSTICE...!"

I bolted up with a start. I was thinking a million thoughts a second as I tried to remember something.

I wondered aloud "Did I leave the oven on?"

AN: REVIEW! Good, crtitical reviews make my content better and easier to write. Please and thank you!