I am glad to find the response so positive for this new story. Thank you all for taking a chance on this one. Now we get to see how Booth gets The King of the Lab in on finding out what has caused all the calamity to occur so he can figure out who to take down. I hope you enjoy this second chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth had to admit that Bones was nothing if not persuasive. The nanosecond she'd mentioned to his Doctor's nurse that her favorite plaything wasn't up to snuff he had an appointment right that morning! That meant a whole morning off while he was poked, prodded, stuck, and penetrated as he got the full treatment job. He was going to be having a little chat with Bones about the totally barbaric and torturous treatment that got meted out to his person. The straw that broke the camel's back was the camera at the end of a long, extremely thick (his opinion!) tube that got shoved up Junior to take a little sneak peak at his urethra and bladder! No advanced warning! No sedative to lessen the trauma! Just grab, line up and shove in for all it was worth! Thank God he hadn't had to go through a colonoscopy! He was definitely an exit only kind of a guy, so the traumatizing experience that Junior underwent ranks very high on his list of punishment worthy no no's! His Sadist of a doctor seemed to enjoy his job a little too much in his totally unbiased opinion. He was going to have a chat with Bones about finding another doctor seeing as how since his whole brain tumor incident she had taken it upon herself to totally manage his health care, up to and including approving of all doctors. He still couldn't remember the conversation that she swears was had in which he had ceded control to her on the subject.
At the moment he was sitting in the Diner waiting for Hodgins to arrive. This was a totally off the books meeting as he wanted none of the other Squints to know what he was doing. That especially meant making damn sure that Angela didn't get wind of the fact that Junior was behaving in a decidedly sub par manner. The minute she had that juicy bit of news it would be all over the Jeffersonian and the Hoover before he could put the kibosh on it. He would never hear the end of it if that happened. His minions in the Major Crimes division he headed absolutely must never know that their El Jeffe was having a bit of trouble in the old pleasure salute side of marital life. And the Squints? He didn't even want to think of all the shit they'd be giving him! It was bad enough that he had to involve Hodgins in this one, but his mental and marital well being demanded sacrifices, especially if he wanted to avoid the total humiliation, at least in his case as he knew that it benefited many men, of having to use Viagra to get Junior back to being the good soldier he usually was.
He was broken out of his reverie when Hodgins rolled up to his booth. Booth looked at his friend and gave him his best I will be obeyed look.
"No one knows you're here?" Booth asked directly.
"Nope," Hodgins assured him. "I told Angela that I had to meet up with a lawyer about the barbecue sauce business. She and Dr. B are at Founding Fathers for lunch."
"Good!" Booth replied, taking a drink of his soda. "I need you to take a copy of the film for Wonder Woman, go through it and the audio with a fine toothed comb, and see if there is anything that is not supposed to be there."
Hodgins jaw about came unhinged. What Booth was implying was so beyond his imagining that it was practically ludicrous! "Uh...excuse me?" he croaked. Yeah, he was the ultimate conspiracy nut, but if he dug around and found out that someone had slipped in some sick subliminal shit into a hit movie like Wonder Woman he'd be on the public hit list and have to go into hiding from the fans, studios, and actors! This could ruin the entire entertainment industry! Not to mention the nightmare of torture and mayhem that Dr. B would inflict on him seeing as she was such a fan of the Wonder Woman character.
Booth kept a steady glare on him. "Bones has dragged my ass to a showing every single damn day since it hit town!" he said a bit loudly. "Then she takes my whipped butt home and screws me senseless!"
"And that's a bad thing how?" Hodgins asked, focusing in on the screwing senseless side of the trouble. He didn't mention the whipped comment as he didn't want to piss off the man who could rip his balls off in a heart beat. He'd come to terms with being in a wheelchair, and loved his life with Angela, but the King of the Lab had no desire to lose the Crown Jewels that went with the Royal Scepter!
"It damn sure is when you lose all interest in sex whatsoever, Junior down there decides to go AWOL in spite of a little solo display by Bones, and the very idea of going to a movie theater ever again makes me want to toss my cookies!" Booth said fiercely. He hadn't wanted to admit to the specifics of his dilemma, but he was a bit crazed at this point over the whole thing. "Now I've arranged through some bigwig who loves Bones' novels to have an actual reel of the film sent here to you, and also a copy of the audio. I expect you to work your magic on this on the QT, Hodgins. If Bones finds out, or any of the other Squints, we're dead."
"I think I'll pass on this one," Hodgins said firmly. No way was he going to touch this pending nightmare!
Booth raised a brow. "Alright," he said in a low, dangerous voice. "I guess that leaves us with Plan B."
"I love Plan B!" Hodgins enthused, figuring that anything other than trying to uncover some nefarious conspiracy within the entertainment industry was vastly more preferable.
"What's Billy's cell number?" Booth asked.
Hodgins looked at Booth as if he had horns growing out of his head. "What the Hell do you want that sick freak's phone number for?" he questioned, keeping his tone down and moderate. He may not like it, but he had to keep his cool. Billy was a complete whack job, but he was Angela's father, meaning that he needed to keep his fear and loathing of the nut bar to a minimum. If he had his druthers the sick Sadist would be behind bars for the totally unwarranted bodily mutilation he'd perpetrated on both upper arms.
"I think Billy would be interested to find out his daughter's been emotionally abused and is unhappy because her hubby's husbandly behavior just isn't cutting the mustard anymore," Booth mused with a glare at the husband in question.
"Hey!" Hodgins squawked. "I was seriously depressed, I found out I'm stuck in a wheelchair, after all, but I've made damn sure that I cleaned up my act! I've been back in there cutting the mustard for some time now, and Angie's happy as ever! Besides, Billy will check in and find out that your little report is total bullshit!" He made a quick mental note to immediately ask Angie if she was happy when he got back to the Lab and start kissing some serious ass if her reply was anything less than an enthusiastic make out session.
"You so sure about that?" Booth questioned, a smile on his face. "Who do you think he's going to believe? A decorated former Army Ranger and FBI agent, or a son-in-law who he's had some issues with and left for the buzzards in the desert?"
"He'd still call Angie and check out your load of bull," Hodgins latched onto one last item.
"Billy strikes me as the shoot first and ask questions later kind of Father-in-Law," Booth observed.
Hodgins' shoulders slumped in defeat. Given how sadistically demented Billy was Hodgins was sure that the whack job would immediately hop on his plane and fly over for another celebratory Tequila party with him and he'd wind up with some more tattoos, most likely on the old Royal Scepter. He shuddered at the horrifying thought. He felt like crying, knowing that this would not turn out well.
"When's the film arrive?" he squeaked.
"Tomorrow afternoon," Booth told him. "Thanks, Hodgins! I knew I could count on you!"
"Go Team," Hodgins muttered as Booth left the Diner to head in to work. If he found some subliminal shit in the film or audio he was going to make damn sure he found who did it and sick Billy on his sorry ass! And after that? Hodgins began to mentally work on the formula for a very highly concentrated Ultra Turbo Lax to douse Booth's apple pie with! Maybe a few days on the Throne would teach Booth that no one screwed with the King of the Lab! He just prayed that he didn't have to celebrate with Billy when this was all over with. Now he was beginning to hate that damn flick Wonder Woman!
A/N: Short, but fun as I wanted Booth to be irrational and a bit crazed as he drags the King of the Lab in to find out what was causing Bones to become so obsessed, and also the culprit who was responsible for ruining Junior. I couldn't resist a fun mention of Billy, either. I hope you enjoyed it! Gregg.