Craig is feeling thoroughly depressed by the time he makes it inside, his coat and gloves tossed carelessly on the floor by his boots.

"How was your date?"

Craig jumps slightly, just now noticing that Ruby has been perched on the couch the entire time. He shrugs in reply and moves to join her, flopping down heavily.

"That bad?" she says, and she clicks her tongue in a way that reminds Craig too much of their mother.

"No, I just wanted it all to work out so bad, I didn't really think about what would happen if the feelings weren't there," he sighs, rubbing his face roughly.

He lets his arms fall to his sides, his gaze on the ceiling, and he starts thinking that maybe love just isn't in the cards for him, that maybe he really is defective and incapable of feeling it for anyone.

"How do you know there weren't any feelings?"

Craig shrugs. "I didn't feel anything when I kissed him."

"So, what do you feel when you kiss Clyde then?" Ruby asks.

Craig sighs and stays silent for a while, not liking where the conversation is going anymore.

"I'm gonna guess that means something," she says and pats his knee. "Maybe you should start thinking about what that might mean."

Craig glares at her and crosses his arms. "I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just imply that I'm in love with the guy who treated me like shit for months. You know, when he wasn't completely ignoring me," Craig says, hating how bitter he sounds when he says it. Shouldn't he be over it by now?

"Hey, you said love, not me, and you guys have started being friends again, haven't you? You seemed close enough on Halloween at least…" Ruby pauses at the look on Craig's face and sighs.

"Right, sorry," Ruby hums and leans against his shoulder. "You should get a hobby. Something to distract yourself. Like those movies you used to make. Why don't you do that again?"

"I'm more interested in watching movies than making them," Craig replies.

"How about gardening?"

"How about no?"

"Oh come on!" Ruby pleads. "You could have a garden of cacti. They'd be prickly, like you."

"Cactuses, and maybe. I'll think about it," he concedes, snatching the remote and flipping channels in spite of Ruby's protests. Ruby gives up the fight after a moment and leans her head on his shoulder.

"Craig?" she says after a couple minutes of nothing but the sound of rapidly changing channels.

Craig makes a small noise of acknowledgement, finally settling on a movie he knows they've both seen hundreds of times.

"How did you know you were gay?" she asks after a long pause.

Craig looks down at the top of her head and sets the remote down just out of her reach. "I guess I always knew in a way. Admitting it was hard, but once I did, so many things just-"

"Made sense?" Ruby supplies, and Craig nods.

"Exactly," Craig responds. "Why?"

Ruby shrugs but doesn't say anything else. Craig has his suspicions but decides not to push. His sister is strong, and he knows she'll come to him when she's ready.

He wraps his arm around her shoulders instead and pulls her close, settling in to continue their impromptu movie night.

Craig awakens the next morning with a stiff back and sore neck and groans. Ruby is sprawled on the couch next to him, her arm and leg dangling precariously over the edge.

A quick glance at his phone tells him it's time for him to get ready for school. He considers skipping but knows he won't get away with it again. Cursing his past self for using all his sick days, he quickly shakes Ruby awake before she can fall to the floor fully and hurries upstairs to get in the shower before she can stake her claim.

He still isn't fully awake by the time he makes it on the school bus. He scans the seats for somewhere to sit. Stan is sitting alone looking like a storm cloud, but Craig sees no other open seats, so he takes what he can get.

"Hey," he greets just to be polite. Stan gives him a small nod but says nothing else. Not like Craig wanted to talk to him anyway. He would consider this the most awkward bus ride of his life if it weren't for the memory of his time caught wedged between Cartman and Kyle on their hour long bus ride to the museum. Why they all had to share a seat, he can't remember, but he would rather throw himself in front of a train than have a repeat. Speaking of, Craig glances around and notices a lack of a certain angry redhead. He wonders if that has anything to do with Stan's sour mood but doesn't care enough to ask.

He can't get up fast enough when the bus stops in front of the school and pushes his way through the crowd to be the first one off, ignoring the dirty looks aimed his way.

He shoves his things into his locker as fast as possible, hoping today goes by at a pace faster than soul-crushingly slow. He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns to find Kenny standing behind him with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"What do you want, McCormick?"

"I think there's gonna be a fight today. Wanna place a bet?" he asks and shoves his hands in the pockets of his ripped jeans.

"Depends. Who's fighting?"

"Stan's gonna kick the crap out of Token," Kenny answers. "My bet's on Stan. You can't beat a jilted lover, right?"

Craig raises an eyebrow and looks toward Token's locker, not finding him there. "What are you talking about?"

"Token asked Wendy to the winter dance."

Craig sighs heavily and slams his locker shut. "Marsh has gotten sloppy, so I don't think Token has anything to worry about. Where's Broflovski anyway? Isn't he supposed to be Marsh's lapdog or something?"

"Kyle's out sick," Kenny grins. "And when Kyle's away, Stan will play. Or kick ass. Whatever comes first. So, care to place a bet?"

Craig shakes his head and adjusts his books in his arm. "It wouldn't be fair to take your money, McCormick," he says and weaves around Kenny to head to his first class.

He doesn't spot Token or Stan on the way, but he does share his first class with Wendy. He hurries into the room and manages to snag the seat next to her. He ignores the weird look she gives him for a moment as he moves his books and grabs a pen before turning in his seat a little to face her.

"So," he says.

Wendy furrows her brow at him but turns toward him as well. "So," she repeats.

Craig sighs. He knew she wasn't going to make this easy. "I heard you're going to the dance with Token."

Wendy tosses her head back, moving her hair out of her eyes. "What? Don't approve?" she asks.

Craig shrugs and leans one arm on the back of his chair, keeping an eye out for the teacher but not spotting him yet. "No, I approve. The guy's had a crush on you for a decade," Craig says, the grin blossoming on Wendy's face making the corner of his lip twitch. Ah to be young and in love. "I just don't think Stan approves."

The grin quickly morphs into a scowl, and Wendy twists around to face the front again. "I broke up with Stan months ago. If he has a problem, he should come to me himself instead of sending his lackeys."

Craig winces at the harsh way she hisses the last word and holds up his hands in mock surrender.

"I'm not one of Marsh's lackeys. I just heard he was gonna try to start shit with Token. I don't really want to see Stan get his ass kicked," Craig clarifies and turns back to face the front as the teacher finally makes his way into the room, stumbling over apologies and carrying a stack of papers.

He starts handing stacks of packets out to each row before heading back up front and writing the book chapters on the board. The teacher barely teaches, relying instead on fill in the blank packets and group work to compensate. Craig normally hates busy work but finds he doesn't mind as much today as he takes his packet and turns back toward Wendy.

Wendy writes her name on the top of the packet in neat, flowing script and opens her book before speaking again. "I tried talking to him before all this," she says. "I don't know what else to say."

"Why'd you break up with him?"

Wendy tucks her hair behind her ear and shrugs, finishing the answer she was currently writing. "I realized after a while that I was with him for all the wrong reasons. He was my childhood love, my first boyfriend, my first lots of things. I thought I had to be with him forever because we had already been together so long, and if I couldn't make that work, then what hope did I have?"

Craig looks back at her, watching her pen move across her paper.

"But then I realized that I shouldn't settle for someone just because they were the first. I realized I was holding myself back from finding something better because I was scared of moving on, and I was holding him back too," she says. "Even though he doesn't seem to agree right now."

Craig fakes a laugh for her benefit and shoves her shoulder gently. "I get what you're saying," he says. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Wendy gives him a look of surprise but shakes her head. "Just warn Token to stay away from him. You should talk to Kyle instead. He'd be more willing to listen."

"Kyle's not here today," Craig explains as he leans over to start copying Wendy's answers. She slides her paper closer.

"Of course he isn't," she says and sighs. "Just warn Token then. I'll call Kyle at lunch."

Craig nods and keeps copying answers as Wendy writes them, spending the rest of the class period in companionable silence.

He spends most of the day avoiding Stan and desperately trying to find Token. Token remains a ghost, and unfortunately, he and Craig share no classes. Stan is easier to find, but Craig keeps his word and doesn't approach him. He storms through the halls, his fists clenched and his face etched in a perma-scowl the likes of which Craig hasn't seen since Ruby's boyfriend broke up with her on her birthday a few years back. Craig almost starts to doubt if Token really would be able to take him in a fight.

Craig manages to run into Token right before last period and snags his arm before he can rush by. "Where the hell have you been all day?"

Token pulls away from Craig's grip, a confused smile on his face. "What do you mean? I've been in class," he says, seeming unaware of the target on his back.

"Well, whatever you do, avoid Marsh after school," Craig says and does a quick scan of the halls to make sure he hasn't accidentally summoned Marsh by talking about him. He doesn't see Stan anywhere, but he does spot Tweek and Jimmy talking to each other further down the hall. Tweek glances his way and gives him a small wave.

"What are you talking about?" Token asks, pulling Craig's focus back to him.

"He wants to beat you up for asking Wendy to the dance," Craig explains.

"Who wants to b-be-beat up T-tuh-token?" Jimmy asks, he and Tweek having made their way over.

"Stan, apparently," Token answers before Craig can open his mouth.

"D-don't worry, b-buh-buddy. We can save y-your a- y-y-your ah-"

"We'll protect you," Tweek says, smiling at Jimmy when he nudges his elbow.

"That's a good idea," Craig says. "You wait here after class. All of us will meet here, and we'll leave together."

He finishes just as the warning bell rings, and they all voice their agreements before parting ways. Craig is happy to have his friends all back together for once, but still can't help feeling like something is missing.

It turns out their plan was a good one, as a solo Marsh doesn't even try to approach the group as they leave school grounds and head for Token's car. He offers to give them all a ride home for their troubles, dropping off Jimmy first then stopping at Craig's. Craig bids Token good bye and wishes Tweek luck at work then takes his leave, unable to keep his eyes off the Donovan house as he passes.

Craig makes it to his bedroom and shuts his door behind him. He heads toward his bed, about to fall down onto it when something on his desk catches his eye. He moves a little closer and sees a small pink pot housing a tiny cactus sitting on top of a letter. He picks up the cactus and the letter, his eyes skimming over the words.

"I found him at the store and bought him for you. His name is Paul. Take good care of him. He's a baby.

Love,

Ruby"

Craig smiles and gingerly sets the cact- Paul back on his desk. He's about to turn back toward his bed when he changes his mind, rifling through his desk drawers and pulling out a sharpie. He picks Paul back up and sets to work redecorating his pot, doodling a couple tiny stars and an alien on the clay. He's about to draw a planet on the back when a soft knock interrupts him.

He sets his marker and Paul back on his desk and opens his door, his mom standing on the other side.

"Can I come in?" she asks, and Craig nods, letting her pass by him to take a seat on his bed. "Your father called," she adds.

"What did he want?" Craig asks, hoping he was able to keep the bitterness out of his voice but knowing he failed by the look on his mom's face.

"He wants to spend time with you," she says. "He misses you."

"So?"

"Craig, he's your father. You need to spend time with him," his mother says, the exasperation clear in her voice.

Craig closes his eyes to prevent himself from rolling them. "He hasn't spent time with me in years, and now he wants to pretend that he cares?"

"He's always cared about you," she says. Craig can tell by the tightness around her mouth that she's near fed up with him, but he can't help arguing when it comes to his dad.

"Why do you defend him so much?"

"Because I still love him," his mother answers immediately and sighs, patting the bed next to her. She turns to Craig once he's sat down and takes his hands, holding them tight.

"Your father and I did truly love each other. You know that, don't you?" she asks and waits for Craig to nod before continuing. "When you truly love someone, that love never goes away. No matter all the pain and misery, that love will always be there. Sometimes it just so happens that you may realize you're better off separate than together. That doesn't mean you no longer love each other, just that you are no longer good for each other. Does that make sense?"

Craig looks away toward the floor, his brow creasing in thought. "How are you supposed to know if it will all work out?"

His mom sighs and releases one of his hands to brush his hair back. "You can't know that, but you also can't spend your entire life running from something just because you're scared of the outcome. Sometimes you just need to take chances on things in life. Love is one of those things.

"Things with your father and I didn't work out, but I wouldn't change any of it," she says and smiles. "I still have you and your sister, and your father will still be there for us all when we need him. He really does love you."

Craig looks back at her and squeezes her hand. "I know," he concedes.

"And I love you," she says and pulls him into a hug.

Craig hugs back and rests his cheek on her shoulder. "I love you too."

His mom releases him after a moment and stands, patting his cheek. "Your father will be here soon, so get ready," she says and leaves the room, shutting the door behind her.

Craig sits for a moment, thinking over everything his mom said. He wonders if that's been his problem all along. Maybe he isn't actually incapable of loving. Maybe he's just scared. Maybe Clyde is scared too.

He doesn't get very far in his thoughts before he hears the front door opening and his dad's loud voice echoing up the stairs.

Craig decides against bringing his phone with him and heads downstairs, finding his father still standing by the door waiting. He gives Craig a brief smile and pulls him into a hug as soon as Craig is close enough, patting his back almost too hard.

"How have you been, son?" Thomas asks once Craig has slipped out of his grip to pull on his boots and coat.

"Fine," Craig answers, trying to ignore the look his mom is giving him.

He opens the door and hurries out into the cold before his mom can try having another talk with him. He doesn't wait for his dad to follow. Thomas' heavy footfalls can be heard trudging through the snow behind him. He doesn't know what his dad has planned for today, but he can't find any reason to feel excited.

He hasn't seen his dad since the day his parents signed the divorce papers, and he knows from the talks with his mom that it isn't all his dad's fault. He guesses in his mind that he needs some sort of scapegoat, and his dad seemed like the logical pick.

"How's school?" his dad asks as he pulls the car out of the driveway.

"It's fine," Craig answers and resists the urge to fiddle with the radio. It isn't all his dad's fault, but he still can't let go of the anger he's been feeling on his mom's behalf over the past few months. His dad hasn't been around to see how hard she's worked to keep things going, even as she drowned in the guilt and anger and shame. He hasn't been around to see the pitying looks all the neighbors had taken to giving them all any time they were out in public.

"I heard that Donovan kid was giving you trouble," his dad continues, obviously trying to egg him on into a full conversation. Craig doesn't want to take the bait, not that he has anything to say on the matter anyway.

"He was. I took care of it," Craig says and turns away so he's facing the window, watching the houses and businesses drift by as they pass. "Not like you care," Craig whispers because he can't help it.

His dad is silent after, but Craig is sure he heard his last comment. There's no way he didn't. Craig almost starts to feel guilty for it, but his dad is stopping the car. He has no more time to think about it.

Thomas pulls the car into the empty lot of a diner, one that Craig recognizes from his and Ruby's birthday breakfasts when they were still kids, and turns off the engine but makes no effort to get out.

"I know you've been having a hard time," Thomas says, his voice sounding dejected. "Your mom has been keeping me up to date on things."

Craig looks back at him, not sure what he's meant to say.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around to help you. Not that you needed it," Thomas say with a chuckle. "I can't remember the last time I had to help bandage a cut. You were always an independent kid."

Thomas reaches over and takes Craig's hand, smiling gently when Craig doesn't immediately pull away. "I always worried that you wouldn't know how to ask for help when you needed it, but you're an adult now. You're strong and smart. I guess I didn't need to worry."

Craig just looks back at him for a moment before smirking a bit. "What is this? Eat, Pray, Love?"

Thomas rolls his eyes and chuckles, patting Craig's hand. "You're also a sarcastic shithead. Is that better?"

Craig nods and smiles back at his dad for once. Thomas returns the smile and opens the door. "I hope you're hungry."

Craig follows his dad out of the car and into the diner, feeling much lighter after their talk. He didn't realize how much the anger and hurt had been weighing him down until the knot had started loosening itself.