NOTES~~

This work contains rape/non-con. This chapter is why. Trigger warning.

"With my face against the floor, I can't see who knocked me out of the way. I don't want to get back up, but I have to, so it might as well be today." -Slipknot

They laugh as they shove her down onto the rough, wet, concrete floor. She feels the skin on her knees rip, noticing the contrast of her blood against the cold of the ground. She can't tell how many there are through her blindfold, and the reverberation around the small room makes it hard to count their feet. She hears the door close behind them. She hears the deadbolt turn. She knows what is coming. They already took her clothes…her dignity…but it is never enough. One of the men pulls her bound arms above her head while another sits on top of her, straddling her hips with his own, she struggles, but he punches her in the face before pulling off her blindfold. She feels her nose break, blood running down her throat and into her mouth, but looks up at the man in stern defiance.

The man laughs and turns to his friend. "See, I told you she would be better now. Look at that attitude." She fights to lean up and spit her blood into the man's face. He smacks her again, and the man holding her arms pulls her back to the ground, hard. She glances around, taking a count of the men around her, one holding her feet, one at her arms, one on her hips, and one just watching. He growls, wiping the blood and saliva off his face. He bends over her roughly grabbing her jaw and pulling her face to look at him, "Now, listen you little bitch… That deal you made still stands. You don't cooperate and that boyfriend of yours gets put in the Box for a while."

"Fuck you." She spits, trying to hold on to any bit of dignity she had left. She remembers these men from before… and men like them. Before they could just say a few words, and make her comply. Lifeless. Emotionless. A shell. Now that she was herself, if she didn't fight, how could she respect herself again? But if she fought, he would pay the price. I can't win.

"That is the idea." He and his friends laugh. "Oh I almost forgot –" He reaches out to his friend who hands him something. A mask. His mask. "See now you can just pretend we are him, and enjoy it as much as we will." More laughter. He slips the mask on his face, and forces her legs apart to push himself between them, unzipping his pants.

"Take it off! Fucking take it off!" She screams, "Fuck you, you son of a bi-" He slaps his hand over her mouth, digging his dirty fingernails into her cheek, drawing blood.

"Calm down, and enjoy it." He whispers, his masked face hovering over hers. "This is the closest to the real thing you are ever going to get." He forces himself into her quickly, she feels herself rip and bites her own cheek to keep from sobbing into his hand, I am not going to give him the satisfaction. She stares past his face, up at the stone ceiling above her. Watching the moisture condense and drip down to the ground. She feels him pounding into her, the pain lessening the more she bleeds. Gotta block it out. Gotta take my mind somewhere else. She sings in her mind the first song that she thinks of. Drip, drip, drop, little April shower, beating a tune as you fall all around….

Her blood begins to work its way down her thighs. He laughs. His friends cheer. She hears the sounds of them rubbing themselves through their pants, getting excited for their turn. Drip, drip, drop little April shower, what can compare with your beautiful sound. Beautiful sound…Beautiful sound. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

He is done, he pulls the mask off, winking at her before handing the mask to the man who was previously holding her feet. Drip, drip, drop, when the sky is cloudy, your pretty music will brighten the day.

He crawls on top of her. He slides the mask on over his beard. He grips her throat in his hand, squeezing until he hears the sounds of her choking, when he lightens his grip, and she gasps, he pushes his way into her. It stings. Drip, drip, drop, when the sky is cloudy, you come along with a song right away. Come with your beautiful music.

The cycle continues. He finishes with her, and then hands the mask to the next in line. Some choke. Some squeeze her breasts 'til they bruise… Drip, drip, drop, little April shower, beating a tune as you fall all around.

A dirty drop of water lands on her face while the last one has his fun…it brings her attention up to his face. His eyes are a similar steel blue. Then her tears start to fall, and the room laughs. Drip, drip, drop, little April shower, what can compare with your beautiful sound…

She watches the water fall from the ceiling, barely noticing when he gets off of her, and they all exit the room. Leaving her alone, laying in a puddle of her own blood and their semen. Drip, drip, drop, when the sky is cloudy, you come along with your pretty little song.

The door opens, and another man stands in the doorway with a hose. The ice-cold water covers her body, making her jolt up and shiver. But removes all traces of the past events as the water in the room runs to a drain in the corner. Drip, drip, drop, when the sky is cloudy, you come along with your pretty little song.

She sits on the floor, clutching her legs to her body, shivering. She tries to heat up her arm to warm herself. But she is met with a slap to the face, knocking her back to the ground, next to the dropped hose. "No you don't. Get up" The man grabs her flesh arm roughly lifting her to her feet. He grabs her bound hands, and leads her from the room and down a small hallway. Her naked form still shivering in the cool air. Gay little roundelay, gay little roundelay. Song of the rainy day, song of the rainy day.

At the end of the hall they come to a room, and the man enters a code on a keypad. They enter a small room. A control center, and an adjacent cryoroom, separated by a glass pane. He drags her into the cryoroom. He presses some buttons and enters a key into her wrist bindings, and they release with a hiss. He points to the corner. "Put your clothes on and get in the pod." How I love to hear your platter, pretty little pitter patter.

She walks to the clothes, rubbing her raw wrist with her metal hand. Slipping them on, briefly missing her gloves, but deciding to just be appreciative they are giving her clothes. She stares at the pod. Dreading the impending cold. "Hurry up!" The man yells, impatiently. Helter skelter when you pelter. Troubles always seem to scatter.

She steps inside the pod, knowing better than to cry as the door closes, because freezing tears against her skin hurt like a bitch. The frost creeps across the inside of the pod. She begins to fall into the cold endless sleep. Drip, drop, drip, drop….drip….drop.

Lenore sits at the small table. Food gone, but still nursing her bottle of water. Looking at the empty chair Steve left vacated, occasionally glancing around the plane. Looking at anything; everything. Trying to keep her mind on something. Anything. This is why I draw…and play music…hell even listen to music. She tries watching the readouts on the screens at the front of the plane but still feels her mind drifting into dark places. Nope. Nope. Not gonna think about any of it. She picks up her bottle, taking a big gulp, sitting it back down on the table, then she notices the condensation on the plastic, bead up and roll down the bottle before stopping at her fingers. Drip, drip, drop. Her most recent memories flash behind her eyes, she rubs her wrist, long since healed in cryo, and squints her eyes hard, trying to force the memories away. Think of anything else. Anywhere else.

She is interrupted by a soft, comforting hand on her back. Her eyes spring open as she turns; Long brown hair and concerned eyes meeting her gaze. Wanda. The telepath…Oh God, the telepath. "I am so, so sorry. I forgot." Lenore blurts out.

"Do not apologize, I looked in your head without your permission… I am sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. Lee always told me it was hard to stay out of people's heads all the time, and she would find her way in without realizing it. I know the struggle. It's fine. I am just sorry you had to see…that." Lenore closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, "I know my memories are dark places."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Wanda asked quietly, sitting at the chair across from Lenore.

"Talking never really helps much with my problems. But you are welcome to ask if there is something you are wondering…" Lenore smiles gently.

Wanda hesitates, glancing out into the main room, but Lenore couldn't quite follow where she looked. "Is…is that why you attacked him when you woke up?"

Lenore raises a confused eyebrow, followed Wanda's earlier glance, right to Bucky, where they made brief eye contact, and then realizes what Wanda actually saw. She quickly returns her glance to Wanda. "Oh, no, no, no. It's not what you think. It…wasn't actually him." Lenore tries to whisper so Bucky can't overhear, "They were just dressed like him." Lenore can see the relief wash over Wanda.

"Why would they…?"

"It was a joke to them. It…" She reaches forward, touching Wanda's hand with her own, knowing it is easier to connect with physical contact. She shows her short memory of the man's face saying "See now you can just pretend we are him, and enjoy it as much as we will." While he holds the mask in plain view. Lenore pulls her hand away, waiting for Wanda's reaction, but Wanda just reaches for Lenore's hand again.

'He was the one they had that you care about?' Wanda's voice floats through her head. Not as strong as Lee's always did. More like a whisper.

'Please don't tell him…or anyone. He doesn't remember me, and I can't…' Lenore pleads inside her head, but Wanda stands up, moving towards Lenore before pulling her into an embrace. Lenore leads into the hug, not even remembering the last time someone hugged her other than Lee.

"I won't tell a soul." Wanda whispers into her ear, before pulling her away, holding her at arm's length, "And please come to me if you need to talk. I am happy to listen." Wanda smiles warmly, inducing the same reaction in Lenore. "Oh and one more thing." Wanda reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small iPod, and placing it in Lenore's real hand. "It doesn't have much, and most of it's not even in English, but maybe it will help until you can get your own. You can borrow it as long as you need it." Lenore feels tears springing up in her eyes, not being able to remember the last time someone was this kind to her.

"Thank you. So much." Wanda nods. Putting her hand on Lenore's shoulder.

'You should tell Bucky about how you feel. You both deserve a little bit of happiness. You have suffered enough.' Wanda projects, and Lenore gives her a stern look, 'I am just saying. I think he remembers you more than you think he does.' Wanda winks and walks away.

Lenore turns back around in her seat at the table, glancing back over at Bucky, who is still looking at her. Overwhelmed by the eye contact with him, as well as all the emotions flying around, she can't contain the large grin that spreads across her face. To her surprise, he gives her a crooked, but genuine smile in return. She had never seen him smile like that before. He looked so beautiful, she looked back to her bottle of water, watching the condensation roll down. Her smile faded but still present as she takes Wanda's earphones and places them in her ears, listening to the music and begging her heart to stop fluttering.

Steve leaves Natasha at the cockpit, turning to see his best friend still staring at their guest. He comes to sit in the seat beside him. "You know if you keep staring at her like that, eventually she is going to notice."

Bucky turns to Steve, smirking at him. "As long as she is playing her invisible piano, I think I am good." Steve looks past Bucky, seeing Lenore still sitting at the table, her eyes closed, and headphones in. Silently tapping her fingers against the table.

"Where did the iPod come from? What did I miss while I was in the cockpit?"

"She was having a flashback, Wanda went over to her. They talked for awhile, and she let Lenore borrow it. She doesn't seem as upset now." Oh and Wanda looked at me like she was terrified of me. That was great.

"How do you know she was having a flashback? Did Wanda tell you?"

"No…I…know the look." He glances back at Lenore, still rocking to the music, and playing along in her mind. "You feel like if you close your eyes hard enough you can make it stop. It doesn't work…but you still try." He turns back to Steve.

"You remember her, don't you?"

"No" He answers, too quickly.

"I know when you lie, Bucky. Haven't you learned that?" Steve laughs, and Bucky smiles.

"I don't really remember her. But I do feel like I know her. Like if I try hard enough I can place her face somewhere… and I am trying, but I can't…" Bucky pauses, looking for a way to explain it, "A lot like when I first saw you again…but different."

"How is it different?" Steve asks and Bucky laughs.

"This is going to sound really weird."

Steve smiles, "Now I have to know."

Bucky glances back around, making sure Lenore is still oblivious, and sees her smiling to herself, and he can't help but smile a little too. He turns back to Steve. "Well," He raises two fingers and brushes them against his bottom lip. Lingering for a moment. "I swear I know what her lips feel like."

Steve's jaw drops a little before he smiles. "Oh?"

"Don't give me that look, Steve." Bucky laughs, before blushing slightly. "Which makes the fact that I can't remember her that much more frustrating…She said I tried to kill her the last time she saw me… so, why would we have kissed?"

"Well when I was talking to her about you, it seemed like you were sort of friends. I think 'in it together' were her words." Steve paused, "She also seemed hurt that you didn't remember her at all. Maybe you should tell her you do." Steve smiled, "Maybe ask her to refresh your memory about that kiss?" Steve teases. "Or was it kisses? Do you know? Maybe we should go ask her." Steve starts to get up, but Bucky uses his metal arm to force him back down, making Steve laugh harder.

"You are still a punk, you know? Just bigger now…" He pauses, "Wait, you talked to her about me?"

Steve smiles, feeling like she has already helped him get his Bucky back. Teasing about girls just like old times, except back then, Bucky was the one doing the teasing. "Yeah, but it was basically just what I told you. Maybe you should talk to her. Or just kiss her…and see what happens." Steve laughs as Sam walks up to them.

"I don't think you can just kiss a girl like that without getting stabbed. Even if you are the Winter Soldier." Sam smiles, joining in on the teasing.

"Oh now you are in on this, too?" Bucky exclaims. Wanda walks up to join the fun. Bucky glances back at Lenore. Still no change; still in her own world.

"It may not be the worst idea Steve has ever had." Wanda chimes in.

Bucky squints at her, "What do you know?" he asks, but she throws her hands up in mock surrender.

"It's just a thought." Wanda replies, but before Bucky can push, the intercom dings overhead.

Natasha's voice fills the cabin. "ETA ten minutes. Everybody pack up and buckle in." Bucky watches Lenore pull her earphones out and listen to the announcement. While glancing around, she meets his eyes, and she smiles again, not as much as before, but still… So beautiful… He smiles back at her, and she quickly looks away. Is she that scared of me? He looks at the ground. When he looks back up he sees that the rest of the team has taken their seats much quicker than usual. He realizes why when he sees that the only landing seat pulled out and open is the one directly to his right. Those sneaky…

His thought are interrupted by her crossing in front of him, to grab the seat designated for her by the group. She sits down beside him, and thanks to the close nature of the seats, her thigh is brushing against his, and he can feel the warmth of her skin touching the sleeve on his real arm. His breath catches when she pushes most of her body against his while she tries to find the buckle to strap herself in. When she gets it locked in she pulls away back to a normal sitting position, and he misses the contact. Then she looks up at him. "Sorry, my bad. Never was good at seatbelts." She smiles.

He smiles back, "it's fine." He looks down. Well that was a good response…He notices her hand is resting on her thigh right next to his. It would be so easy to just reach over and grab it…to hold it. He averts his eyes to look at his own feet, swallowing hard. This is going to be a long ten minutes.