Well, hello, again!
A huge thank you to everyone who is giving this fic a shot, a special shout out to those who have admitted to me that they are 'wussperv,' but still jumping on the Open train! Chapters in the future will be a bit longer, but for now have some Present Day Edward!
I own nothing beyond the musing in my head. Thank you to BusyBrie for betaing and Rhonda for pre-reading!
*~*~*NOW*~*~*
"Mr. Cullen?" A female's voice called out my name, causing my head to snap up. She wore a small smile on her face as she motioned for me to follow her back into her office.
According to what I had read online, Dr. Kate Garrett was the best marriage and family therapist in the area. I wouldn't dare ask any of my friends or the people I worked with for a recommendation, so I had combed the internet, reading online review sites and double checking her credentials. Everything seemed to add up, so I called for an appointment and had been waiting two weeks for this day to come. I had expected to feel more nervous, but the initial shock had already worn off from actually filing for a divorce.
When I walked inside the building I wasn't really sure what to expect. The walls were a nice shade of green, while brightly accented pictures hung all along it. The receptionist, Shannon, had a perky smile on her face when I approached, and she happily handed me all the paperwork with vast enthusiasm behind her voice. I imagined she was used to seeing people at their worst, so the mock happiness was probably her own shield.
Dr. Garrett's office was more or less the same, just with added degrees and certificates along the wall as well. She had her desk in one corner along with two chairs, while the opposite side of the room held a couch, loveseat, and chair arrangement with a table in the center. It was almost as if her office mimicked a living room set-up, which made sense, given her line of work.
"Please, have a seat," Dr. Garrett offered as she gestured to the black office chair in front of her desk. "Now, Mr. Cullen…"
"Edward," I interrupted nervously. "Mr. Cullen is my father. Please, call me, Edward."
Dr. Garrett looked up from the file she had been reading and smiled for a brief second. "Okay, Edward. I have to admit, I'm a bit confused as to why you've called me. Typically,, when I begin seeing new clients, the couples come in together and then we decide whether individual sessions are needed as well. Does your wife have any intention of coming?"
"No," I answered with a shake of my head. My soon-to-be ex-wife didn't even know I had thought about seeing a therapist, much less being invited to a session. Had we tried counseling at first, maybe, but certainly not anymore. No, this was about me, not 'us'. Besides, I was sure she was still focused on the paperwork her attorney received today regarding the splitting of our household. I had gotten tired of the new demands she'd been asking for every day, on top of what was already agreed upon, so finally I told my lawyer to draw up a single settlement that should shut her up. If it didn't, I'd go backwards and offer her even less. When I realized I wanted to get divorced, I hadn't anticipated it being so much of a hassle. We didn't have children, but that hadn't seemed to faze Lauren or her quest for more money.
"Okay then, why don't you tell me why you're here?" she prompted, breaking me from my internal musings. This time, as she spoke, she focused completely on me like she was gauging my reactions.
"Well," I started as I adjusted myself in the seat. "To be frank, I'm not here because I need your help saving my marriage. My wife and I are divorcing, and there isn't a chance that is going to change. What's been done can't be undone, and all that," I explained while she nodded, jotted a few notes down before looking back up. I tried to keep my emotions in check as I spoke, but it became harder as I kept going. It was difficult not to be consumed by the feelings I was experiencing, ranging from guilt to disappointment. No one really knew about my divorce yet, except a few of my closest colleagues at work, but outside of that this was the first time I've admitted it since telling Lauren herself. I had rehearsed what I wanted to say to Dr. Garrett a million times so that it would come off correctly, but I didn't' expect my nerves to try to take over. So, I took another deep breath and pressed on with my explanation as to why I was there.
"What I'm looking for is someone who I can explain the entire story to; someone who can think objectively from start to finish and help me figure out where we went wrong. Dr. Garrett, being honest, I'm only twenty-eight years old, and I want to get re-married eventually. I don't want to be alone, and I don't believe I should be. I don't think I'm a bad person, but I know Lauren and I messed up. We were too cavalier with our relationship, but I don't believe this dooms me forever. I want to make sure that I don't repeat the same mistakes. I know the statistics on second marriages are worse than first ones, but I don't want to be unhappy and alone." It wasn't until I shut my mouth that I realized that I had moved to the edge of the seat while using my hands to show how passionately I felt about all of this.
Lauren and I had failed at our relationship, at our marriage. I was being honest when I said it could never be fixed, but that didn't mean I was doomed for life. I still wanted a wife, children, and the happiness you dream about when you're a child. I wanted it, and I knew who I wanted it with, but I also knew I had to fix myself first; then, and only then, would I even try to think about her. I caught myself before I sighed, not really wanting to have to explain it just yet. I just hoped she understood how important my letter was to her and that I meant every word.
"Edward," Dr. Garrett cleared her throat, though she looked more surprised than anything. "Edward, that's a very interesting request. One, I'll admit, I've never had before. Normally, patients call me to fix things, not once it's all over." The last word hung in the air, and I realized she hadn't asked me another question, but I still felt compelled to explain it. I had thought long and hard about this, though really it was a matter of days, but I still felt strongly that I had chosen the right type of therapist for this job.
"Can I assume correctly that you've seen a lot of patients before? And, with that, a lot of unique situations, thus opening up your eyes to all sorts of mistakes couples have made over the course of your career, even if all of those mistakes didn't come from just one specific couple? It would also lead me to assume that you've seen a lot of the same mistakes happen over and over with couples as well," I reasoned, all while she nodded her head.
"Dr. Garrett, I am a numbers man. It's what I do, what I've always done, what my father and grandfather have done before me, so I know statistics when I see it. I knew choosing a therapist wouldn't be easy, and I'm not exactly in the cleanest cut situation, either, but someone with your knowledge and experience is what I want. I need you to help me understand every mistake we made. I know the big stuff, now I need to know the in-between."
A silence hung in the room for about a minute while Dr. Garrett continued to write down more notes in the file she had brought in with her. She looked up and down a few times, almost looking like she was thinking about the right words to choose. I'd almost held my breath, waiting to be told she wouldn't take me on, that this wasn't her field. But I remained hopeful that I had presented myself not as the desperate fool like I felt, but as a challenge she could unlock. I wasn't sure if I had any other hopes if she turned me down. Fear started to bubble up seconds before Dr. Garrett started talking again.
"Okay, Edward," she spoke unexpectedly as my eyes snapped up. "I can understand where you're coming from, and I can see the argument behind your reasoning. I am willing to take you on as a patient until the time when I feel I can no longer help you. I'm not in the business of wasting your time, or mine for that matter, but I am confident that I should be able to help you achieve your goal. Now, how often would you like to meet?"
A broad smile played on my lips as we decided twice a week for the first month would work best. After the first month, we'd re-evaluate and see where the need lay, but, for now, I left feeling hopeful that I would be able to figure this entire thing out. Hell, I might be done with therapy before my divorce was even final, at the rate Lauren was stalling.
Once I got settled back into my car, I reached for my cell phone to see a new text message from my lawyer.
'No Dice.'
What more did this girl want from me? She was willing to live in half of a relationship, half of a fucking marriage, but now she wanted more than half of everything else? She didn't fucking deserve half; she didn't fucking deserve anything. I slaved going to school, I pushed through every single day at work even when I didn't always want to be there, I built my success from scratch, and now she thinks she's entitled to more of it than me? Fuck that. My fingers flew across my phone at lightning speed, sending the only message I knew.
'This means war. Gut her, NOW!'
I'm pretty sure I replied to almost all of the reviews I received for Chapter 1-a few times FFN gave me a hard time and some have their PMs disabled, so if you didn't hear from me, I'm sorry.
I did do three teasers this past week-one on Facebook, one on the Fictionator's, and one for PicTease. For each chapter I plan to continue with the same pattern. Are there any other places you're interested in seeing them?
My goal is to always update on, or before Thursday, so since this is Tuesday this chapter is early. Chapter 3 is with beta now, and Chapter 4 will start getting worked on tonight or tomorrow. Today is hubby's 27th birthday and he's working late, so once he gets in, well, I'll have to put the computer away.
I used to rec a fic in every chapter of Blind Intentions, but wasn't reading enough during Meeting Myself to keep that up. However, today, I do want to rec a fic most of you probably haven't even heard of it. It's called Criminal by Jaded Ladies (the author is jadsmama) and it's a story about James & Victoria. I know, I know, it's not Edward & Bella, but the characters aren't pushed in your face so much that you couldn't imagine it as E&B and it hurt the storyline. It's very well written, I have had sneak into the coming chapters, and it's amazing through and through. It's 16 chapters total, pre-written out, and she updates twice a week. If you give her a try, let her know I sent you and send her some love...as you can imagine, the review count is low because of the pairing.
http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/8069565/1/Criminal
I promise you won't be disappointed :)