Hi everyone!

I own nothing beyond the musing in my head. Thank you to BusyBrie for betaing and Rhonda for pre-reading!

Warning: Obviously the topic of this story is a bit unique, and if you are absolutely, positively opposed to reading about Edward with other woman, aside from Bella, looked for the bold sentence and skip to the word 'Now.' You have been warned.

*~*~*NOW*~*~*

Leaving Dr. Garrett's office on Thursday was hard, not just because I knew it would be a full five days before we could talk and work things out again, but also because I had nothing to really occupy my time during the weekend.

On Friday, I met with my lawyer and we took several steps toward my divorce with Lauren. The judge was getting annoyed with her and her demands, and I think she started to realize that it was all going to end badly if she didn't start becoming more reasonable in her requests. I'd handed over our house willingly, taking only the items that were mine or had sentimental value. We each were keeping our own vehicle, but Lauren kept getting hung-up on the alimony amount. Once we had settled on a number she tried flipping it around to receiving it for life. I'd laughed and told her it would last for each year of our marriage. In reality, I cringed at that, but if it would get things over with I didn't even care.

Saturday and Sunday were spent mostly sleeping and working. I talked to my mom for a few hours, and it was hard not to let the guilt consume me when I realized she was getting so emotional on the line because that was the most we'd spoken in years. I didn't completely neglect my family, but I definitely wasn't a serial caller, either.

"Are you sure you can't manage another visit soon?" she asked quietly. Her tone sounded off, but I knew she had been crying so I tried to brush it off.

"I'm trying, Mom, I swear. I have a trip coming up next month for a few weeks and after that my schedule should be clear enough to manage a week away," I explained, despite the sigh I heard on the other line.

"Do you think everything will be finalized by then? With her, I mean," my mom questioned next. Ever since I'd confirmed the divorce, she'd stopped referring to Lauren by name, instead using her and she, like she wasn't worthy of having her name spoken anymore. It kind of made me laugh, but I knew how much my parents hated Lauren so I shouldn't have been shocked.

"I hope so. It's getting close," I answered with a bit of pep in my voice.

There was so much that needed to be done once my divorce was final; I had to admit it was tempting just to give Lauren everything she asked for to make her go away. Of course, I wouldn't because the bitch didn't deserve that much, but still, I wanted to be able to move on without the divorce lingering in the background.

My emotions were so torn when it came to her and the future I may or may not have with her. Everything inside of me would scream, 'just pick up the phone,' but then I'd remember what I wrote and would walk away again. Time was something we both needed; I just had to hope it wouldn't be too much longer. I refused to even think abouther moving on, and I prayed every night that she believed everything I had poured into the letter I wrote her. I had considering meeting with her instead of writing, but I knew I'd cave and ask for way too many things that I didn't deserve or feel entitled to…yet.

The homework assignment was challenging. I kept going back to the words that were used, and I realized I had never actually agreed to anything that first night. Everything I had said was just a drunken rage, yet Lauren took it and ran with it almost immediately. It further added to the thought that this was somehow planned, but I couldn't figure out why. Lauren had always been better at separating her emotions out of her 'other life' than I was, but we still never went back to normal. Even after the first year, it was still different. Now that I could look back, it was painfully obvious that there really was no going back, ever.

Walking back into Dr. Garrett's office on Tuesday was met with mixed emotions. I knew we'd probably be talking about Tanya today, but I didn't know how much was too much. Obviously I had slept with her, but I didn't need to explain that, I hoped.

Shannon wasn't in her usual spot at her desk, but Dr. Garrett's door was opened like normal so I walked through the doorway and cleared my throat. It was obvious that Dr. Garrett's lack of a receptionist had piled more work on her, as her normally neat desk was lined with files and papers. I held in a chuckle as she got up, looking a little more frazzled than normal.

"Come in, come in." She shooed me inside. "I'm so sorry everything is a bit of a mess today. Shannon went home sick a few hours ago, and the temp agency I normally use hasn't sent someone yet." As Dr. Garrett explained the disorganization of her desk, I simply shrugged it off. We all had those days, and I didn't even want to think about running my office without my secretary. She was a serious lifesaver on more than one occasion.

"Don't worry, I'm not judging," I tried to joke to ease the tension as we both took our seats. "But I do hope Shannon feels better; do you think she'll be back by Thursday?"

"I doubt it," Dr. Garrett answered. "It's some sort of stomach bug, and I imagine if she has it, her daughter will catch it too. I probably won't see her until next week."

"That's a shame," I mused as I mentally reminded myself to bring her a card next week. I had gotten used to her smiling face every time I came in, and I hoped her sickness wouldn't spread to her daughter. I wasn't a parent yet, but I could imagine how difficult that would be, especially a stomach thing.

"Okay, back to business. Homework. How did it go?" Dr. Garrett hit me hard and heavy from the start.

"I'm pretty sure you were right about being set up. I kept trying to focus on the words we both used, and I really never agreed to anything, but she jumped on the train without blinking. It's her motive that I'm still hung up on, but this was definitely what she wanted. Well, the open part. I'm not so sure divorce was ever part of her plans." I rattled off everything I had been thinking.

"I was curious to see if you'd pick up on that or not. From what you described, it sounded more like an angry fit than permission to do something. I'm curious, why don't you think divorce was part of the plan?" she asked next.

"As much as I loved the woman, Lauren is into things. She wants the latest, most extravagant everything, and she wants it right away. I could only see divorce as a means to an end if she thought I'd be supporting her for life, which isn't going to happen, so I don't see why she'd want to go through it. Whether I initially agreed to it or not, we still did it so she was getting what she wanted on the side while I still supported her. She had more to lose because now she's lost my financial support," I explained, while Dr. Garrett noted something on her pad of paper.

"I was more curious than anything, but that would make sense. There was no gain for her, but what about you? There had to have been something to kick start this after two years?" Dr. Garrett looked up at me expectantly while I froze. I really wasn't ready to talk about her just yet, especially since I knew I was still weeks from being able to reach out to talk to her. I swore to her in my letter that I would wait until I had something to offer her, and I wasn't there yet. She had been on my mind so much today that it was starting to get to me. God, I missed her.

"Edward?" Dr. Garrett called out my name as I shook my head briefly to bring myself out of my own internal musings.

"I met someone," I started vaguely. "Someone who taught me that all I really had was a second-rate marriage with no real future. When she walked away from me, all I wanted to do was crumble, but I realized that as much as her words stung, she was right. I had nothing to look forward to except pain and hurt, but there I was, left standing as the best thing that had ever happened to me walked away without a second glance. After that happened, I drove straight home and told Lauren I was divorcing her."

Dr. Garrett kept her eyes on me the entire time I talked, and even that couldn't help the smile that played on my face as memories of the past began to flood through. There was way too much laughter and happiness to try and keep track of, but as quickly as it started, it stopped as I realized my surroundings.

"You weren't thinking of Lauren there," Dr. Garrett stated, though it could have been interpreted as a question.

"No. I definitely was not thinking of my soon-to-be ex-wife," I affirmed with a nod.

"Does she have a name?" She drew out the word 'she' as I laughed.

"She does," I answered without going forward, accenting the word just as Dr. Garrett had.

A few seconds passed before she realized I wasn't going to volunteer any more information.

"We'll get back to her," Dr. Garrett warned as I shrugged internally hoping I'd be getting back to her in real time, not just with the stories I had to tell later on. It would take nearly two years' worth of memories before we got there, but she was still there…always there, reminding me of everything I wanted to have in the future.

"Okay, then," Dr. Garrett pushed on, "Let's go back to where we were. What happened the next day? After Lauren believed she'd gained your permission."

"I'm glad you have a comfortable couch," I joked as I lay down.

*~*~*THEN*~*~*

The alcohol had slowly left my system, leaving in its wake a massive headache and an overall nauseous feeling. Prying myself out of bed wasn't easy, but I went about my morning routine after popping some aspirin and got ready for work. I would be leaving for almost a week soon, and I knew I still had a lot to discuss with Lauren. I had been a little surprised not to find her in bed when I woke up, considering it was the first night I'd spent in our bedroom since the incident happened, but my head hurt too much for me to think about it.

However, I almost tripped coming out of the shower when I saw her perched on the bathroom sink. She looked ready to go for the day, wearing a huge smile despite the early hour. My heart rate sped up, and I got dizzy for a second before controlling my senses again.

"Shit," I muttered a little louder than normal. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," she replied apologetically. "Are you just leaving your car at the airport this week?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I'm leaving early and coming home late so I didn't figure you wanted to drop me off."

"You're probably right," she agreed after a second. I had started to shave my face when she dropped the bomb on me a minute or so later. "So, I have plans while you're gone."

Thankfully I had enough sense to put the razor down before I turned my head in her direction. Her face was a mix between giddy and excitement as I realized she wasn't joking the night before.

"You're insane. You know this, right?" I shot back in aggravation as I realized how fast this was all moving. Had she just been waiting for me to say yes? I shook my head and refocused my attention away from her.

"Why? Look, I was reading this book, and it said-" she tried to explain, but I interrupted her quickly.

"Whatever, Lauren," I snapped. "A book told you that sleeping with another man is the way to have a better marriage, is that where this going?"

I wanted so badly to fight her on this, but between the hangover and inability to be late to work, I just didn't have it in me.

*~*~*NOW*~*~*

"Would you say avoidance got you this far?" Dr. Garrett asked, partially interrupting my story.

"I guess," I mused as I sat up. "I mean, I guess if I had the opportunity to fight it, it should have been then, but I just didn't. I turned my back and pretended like it was some nightmare. That was actually the last conversation we had before I left. Sad, huh? She was already asleep when I got in that night and I didn't see her the next day either, which struck me as odd, but I refused to think about where else she could be."

"What changed? I understand the initial start time being uncomfortable and awkward, but this went on for years, so I doubt it was always like this," she reasoned as I nodded. She was right in that it did get better, but not until after I got back from my trip.

"Well, I went on my business trip and journeyed to the hotel bar," I answered as I laid back down, noting that I only had about twenty more minutes left.

*~*~*THEN*~*~*

Nothing more than a few texts were shared between Lauren and I for the first three days I was gone. I was half way across the country, dealing with a negotiation that could very well lead to another promotion in my future, and I just couldn't focus on what was going on at home. I thought about calling Lauren a time or two, but then I feared she wouldn't answer because she was off with someone else; if she were, what would I hear? Then, I'd get so focused on what she could be doing that I'd get angry that I was even in this position. I'd even get angry at myself for letting it go so far when it definitely wasn't something I wanted.

On the third night, I got frustrated and went downstairs to the hotel bar to blow off some steam. So far, the talks had been going in our favor, and I deserved a shot of Scotch or something. The lights were low, bar food on the tables, and I received a sympathetic smile from the bartender when he asked me what I wanted. He obviously had no idea what was really going on in my life, but he could tell something was up.

I had been sitting downstairs pretending to focus on a football game when a sea of red hair showed up in my peripheral vision.

"You look like someone ran over your dog," she whispered as my head swung over. I tried to laugh, but instead, I was just kind of awestruck. I blinked a few times before regaining my composure.

"Then it's a good thing I don't own a dog," I shot back as I focused on the drink in my head.

"Okay, so no doggy homicide; what gives? I know bars can be filled with super boring, depressing people, but you're way too handsome to be this boring…or depressed." She edged further as I realized she was flirting with me. Despite the wedding ring on my left hand, she was still pursuing me. Even though it was far from the first time this had happened since I got married, especially in college, it struck a nerve within me that night.

"The fact that I wear a ring doesn't bother you?" I shot back as I turned to meet her eyes. Unlike Lauren's blue eyes, this woman's were hazel.

"Not really, no," she answered honestly. "I wear one too." Her hands flew around her neck as she pulled a chain out from behind her shirt and let the dangling ring hit against her chest.

"Why isn't it on your finger?" I asked honestly, a little thrown off by her reply.

"Because he's not here and I'm not his wife right now," she replied almost flippantly. I had never heard anyone talk about marriage so casually before, and I had to admit it shook me a bit. "You're confused, I see it. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but we both travel for work, so when we're not together we're free to do our own things. You looked depressed, so I figured I'd try and cheer you up. I won't lie and say I'm not interested in you, but I'm not exactly looking for a meaningful connection. Get what I'm saying?"

"My wife wanted to open up our marriage," I blurted out like vomit as her eyes went wide. "Though, I guess we already are since she told me she had plans while I was away this week. How do you do it? I mean, did you want this type of a thing?"

It was probably way too forward to be asking those types of questions, but this woman, who coincidentally noticed me in a hotel bar, may have been able to explain things to be better since she was living it.

"Slow down there, Tiger. You haven't even bought me a drink yet," she teased before launching into her own life story. She told me about her husband, how much they work, and the different schedules they have. She explained how they both went into their marriage already having an open relationship, so getting married was just a simple technicality. She said she didn't know what the future held, but she honestly couldn't see them closing it down. It would probably be like this forever unless one of them decided to leave. Tanya, as she finally introduced herself to me, told me that being open was about sex, not love, and that is how she differentiated between the two. She loved her husband; she just loved sex too much to only have it about twelve times a year. Her husband felt the same way, and they had a certain set of rules that kept them in check.

They always had to disclose when something happened, but never the details. They could see the same person more than once, but each agreed any more than six times in a year was too much. While Tanya always remained on birth control, she also always used condoms, as did her husband. And, they were tested every three months for possible STDs. Co-workers and business contacts were off limits, as were their mutual living spaces. No pictures or videos, ever.

With every word she spoke, I could see the confidence in her eyes and hear how passionate she felt about the subject. It was obvious that she believed fully in having open relationships, and it was a tough pill to swallow. We ended up sitting in the bar until almost one in the morning before I offered to walk her back to her room, which she gladly accepted. As we rode the elevator up, I thanked her for all of the insight she provided, but she shrugged it off, saying it was no problem.

"This is me," she announced as she stood in front of her door a few minutes later. While I could honestly admit she looked and acted nothing like Lauren, I would have been lying if I said I hadn't paid a little more attention to her. Between her hazel eyes and red hair, it was honestly hard not to, but when she asked me to come in, I didn't say no.

My heart screamed at me to walk, hell, run away, but my head argued back that Lauren was obviously sleeping with, or had slept with, someone else by now. Turnabout was fair play.

Tanya sauntered into the room while I trailed only a few steps behind her. I looked away as she began to remove the sweater she had been wearing downstairs, but it was her laughter that made me look back. She stood against the hotel table with her arms across her chest, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Look, Edward, we don't have to do this." She tried to give me an out. "But if we do, there are a few more things we should go over."

I nodded for her to continue.

"First, this comes off," she started as she pulled the chain from around her neck and let the metals clash together on the table behind her. "As does yours. That ring doesn't belong in that bed." She pointed for dramatic effect. "Nor does it belong in any future bed you get into that isn't with your wife. Your wife isn't here right now, so when I get naked, you don't look away. When I kiss you, you don't pull away. When you fuck another woman, you don't think about her. Right now, you're not Edward the husband; you're Edward the lover to whoever you have in your bed at the time. Understand?"

I gulped and nodded, my eyes probably looking like a deer in headlights. I was speechless for the first time all night, as images of Lauren, our wedding, and then Tanya undressed before me flashed before my eyes. I was doing this…really, actually going to do this. I didn't even have time to think about how I had gotten there before Tanya spoke again.

"Good. Now take off the ring," she ordered as I pulled it off and let it fall onto the armoire I had been standing next to.

*~*~*THEN: What Happened That Night*~*~*

"Now, come here," Tanya forced as she strode over to me, stood on her toes, and pushed her lips onto mine. Immediately my mind began to scream, but the few glasses of scotch had already began to ease my nerves before we even got to this point.

When Tanya used the word fuck, she wasn't saying it lightly. She pulled at my belt buckle with force I had never felt before, while I pulled the undershirt she had been wearing over her head and threw it somewhere aimlessly. The clothes shedding took only a few minutes once our shoes were removed, and we literally fell into the bed.

Tanya produced a condom from the draw while my lips stayed attached to her neck. I couldn't even describe what had taken over me; my only focus became on sex. I shut out everything else that was happening around me and focused on the beautiful woman in front of me who obviously felt I was worthy enough to have sex with.

And sex we had. Tanya liked it hard-very, very hard, and I came to find out I liked it that way, too. I roared over her body when I felt her fingernails drag down my back as I pumped harder and faster into her pussy. When I did something she liked, Tanya was very, very vocal about it. She screamed, moaned, and thrashed around me.

I hadn't even realized how much time had passed until I was disposing of the used condom, finding my clothes, and grabbing my ring. This time, it went back into my pocket instead of on my finger. I wasn't sure why I didn't want to wear it then; the past few hours had tainted what it used to stand for. In college, when I would get hit on, I'd simply point to my ring and shrug. Most girls took the hint, but now…now it was just a piece of jewelry. The true values and meaning behind it were gone for good. I stood in front of the door for a few seconds too long, debating if I should say anything before I heard Tanya's voice called out, 'This is the part where you say thank you and leave.' I turned to see her standing there, naked, with a smile on her face.

"Thank you," I said before I left her room and went back to mine.

*~*~*NOW*~*~*

"So, it's a fair assumption that you learned you could be with someone else without Lauren getting in the way for you mentally?" Dr. Garrett asked as I sat back up.

"Yeah, I think that's a fair way to describe it," I replied. Being with Tanya was intense on a physical level. There was nothing there emotionally, but on the platform of sex itself, she fucking rocked my world that night, and I was only now seeing that my world never went back to normal. Once I met her, I wasn't even sure my world could have gone back to normal, but we did eventually find a medium to live in that seemed normal. Tanya would never compare to the person I had met in the future, but for that time period she was exactly who I needed to meet to get me over the hump of accepting where I was. If I could go back in time, I would, as oxymoronic as it sounded, simply because I knew who was coming along the way.

"When I got back to my room," I started to explain because I knew it needed to be said, "I expected to feel numb, regret, guilt, anything, but what I actually felt was excitement. Almost like I was alive again. It confused me and freaked me out all at the same time, but I texted Lauren that night that I had met someone, took her to bed, and was back in my room. I didn't receive another text my entire trip away after that. When I got home, I found out that the guy Lauren planned to hook-up with was a no-show. When she got my text, she should have been busy, but instead, by technicality, I went out of our marriage first."

Dr. Garrett seemed surprised at that as I watched her note something down, but didn't say anything more. I knew our time was up, and since this was my lunch hour, running late wasn't an option.

"Well, our time is up, and since I'll see you in two days there's no homework this time. You've come a long way with sharing since you first started, and it shows in your ability to see things. On Thursday we'll talk about what happened when you got home, okay?"

I nodded and thanked her for her time before rushing back to work, feeling hopeful that I could really work through all of this stuff after all. When I got the idea to start therapy, I obviously knew I wanted to discover everything from another perspective, but I was still terrified of actually talking about it. With each session I realized that the more I talked, the easier it became, but finally committing and talking about the first woman I slept with outside of my wife went a lot smoother than I thought it would. Being honest, I still wondered about Tanya. There was nothing emotional about my thoughts, but she was so confident and self-assured that I wondered if she and her husband ever settled down, traveled less, and started a family. She never struck me as the type, but I still wondered where she was today. If I saw her tomorrow, I'd buy her a drink for introducing me to this world the way she had. Through it all, Tanya brought me one step closer to her, and right now, thoughts of her were all I had to keep my head on straight.

Hey ya'll! So, I'm sick as hell, a bit sun burnt, but should still be working on Chapter 7 tomorrow.

Thank you for all the reviews and kinds words. I was PM'd by a few who read via their mobile advice and told me signing in to leave a review is a PITA, so I've opened it up for anon reviews for the first time ever. Hopefully this helps-I read on my Kindle and it won't even let me get pasted the security box now, so I feel ya!

That's about all I've got...teaser up on FB soon!