A/N: Guess who isn't dead! Well literally speaking, metaphorically I'd be 6 feet under. I don't like how short this chapter is compared to the previous ones (I tried to keep a page limit of 6 so it feels worth it when I finally get to updating it). However, I realize it will literally be almost a year since I've last updated this fic and decided to go ahead after checking over for spelling or grammar errors (which I apologize in advance cause there's only one of me). Keeping the thoughts of the 1 year ago me, this fic has certainly gotten very dark which is very typical of me. Don't worry the next chapter will be up within the next 2 months (and not a year). Honestly, I can't believe I started this in my junior year and only have 5 chapters to show for it. Anyway, see you guys till the next chapter!

It would appear the weather reflected my mood now: turmoil. How did he know? Does this mean he also knows the secret entrance as well? Did I inadvertently put Juliet's life and those who live here in danger? I clutched my skirt, gritting my teeth as the thought of them being taken because of my carelessness. I could never forgive myself if they were put in harm's way! A flash of lightening brightened the room through the glass, the rain pouring harder. It was only a momentary distraction before my thoughts consumed me once more.

I stood up and paced back and forth, the urge to get up and do something was strong. From what I know about Tybalt, he was protecting someone who had to be close to me, otherwise why protect me at all? However, the problem was figuring out who could that someone be? I stopped for a second, looking at my reflection in the window. "No." I thought, shaking my head. "It couldn't be me. He told me it was fun playing my knight." Besides as far as I know, or in this case remember, we've only recently met. I wanted to tear my hair off with all these conflicting emotions, my frown deepening as I tried to stay positive about all this. Though at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but be a bit…disappointed that his attentions lied elsewhere. I shook my head telling myself that it didn't matter, I had to focus on the main problem and solve...whatever that was later.

So, getting back to the point, if I wasn't the person he is protecting...then it must be either William's family or Juliet's. They're the only people I ever hang around with and they are the only ones who reside here. However, William's family, though well connected, didn't need hidden bodyguards since, for public appearances, they were close to the Montague family. So that only left Juliet's group but who among them would he be protecting and how did he know that they resided here of all places? No one could have possibly known about the hidden door to our lodgings and everyone was careful when they need to run errands, paying special attention to make sure they were not followed.

I jumped unto the couch, my face landing firmly on the cushion, trying to run over all the facts and details. 'Should I tell Conrad about this?' If I don't, then I would feel like I was betraying them but if I do, won't I be condemned for allowing a stranger to follow me straight to them?' My face softened with my next thought. 'But...he was protecting us, so he couldn't have been a bad man and he had rescued me several times through our coincidental meetings. However, he could also be tricking me by trying to gain my trust then stab me in the back when I was no longer of use...'

I let out a muffled scream, trying to stop myself from thinking too much. Why does the thought of him back stabbing me hurt so much? I only met him in the span of days and yet I would feel betrayed if he wasn't the good guy. And there was this inexplicable coldness around him...something that he seems to keep hidden through indifference towards others but why would that disappear when I interacted with him? What could have happened to him to bring him to such a state? Why did I care?

I couldn't handle my thoughts anymore, knowing full well that if I keep going like this I'm going to end up more frustrated than I already was. Why was this happening to me? I have no recollection of my past and the next thing I know, I'm thrust into this huge mystery...Juliet's secret...Tybalt's knightly duties to someone in the group and this feeling that I'm supposed to do something about this. I focused on the rain, willing it to empty my thoughts as it dropped. It was at that moment, seconds before I was going to be swallowed alive by my thoughts that I heard the door open, followed by footsteps.

I get up and make my way to the front door only to find an unconscious Juliet in Francisco's arm. I quickly made my way towards her, any previous thoughts flying out the window except why Juliet was unconscious. "What happened? Is she going to be all right?" Curio placed his arms around my shoulders and spoke calmly to me. "She only fainted from shock, Lydia; she'll be all right with a moment's rest". I shook my head, watching Francisco carry Juliet upstairs.

"Why did she faint in the first place?" I looked at all their faces and realized that it had something to do with what they revealed to her. "Okay, you don't need to tell me. I'll just go upstairs and stay with her until she wakes up...and you don't have to worry...I won't question her about what happened..." I bowed to them and made my way towards my room when I felt someone grab my arm. Before I could turn around I heard Antonio speak up.

"Lydia has a right to know what's going on. She's proven that we can trust her!" I turned, a bit surprised at Antonio's exclamation and turned to connect with Conrad's gaze, who was observing me with a serious expression. "You should head up and rest, Antonio, I'll talk to Lydia alone."

Antonio appeared to be ready to say something else, but I placed my hands on his shoulders, kneeling so I was face to face with him. I gave him a small smile. "It's all right Antonio, if he doesn't want to tell me what's going on than it is with good reason, all right? Besides we had already talked about this before you guys had left. You don't have to worry about it." I ruffled his hair to try to ease the tension and he slowly nodded though it appeared he wasn't that much convinced. Once all of them left, Conrad motioned for us to sit. I had gotten a bit nervous, noticing that Conrad had not in the least dropped his 'this is beyond serious and I'm not sure I should tell you' face. He let out a sigh and spoke seriously

"Lydia, we spoke before and you understand my thoughts. This…is much bigger than you realize, and I would not want you to be dragged against your will or that you would come to regret it. However, it is no longer up to me to tell you the truth. That rests on the shoulders of Juliet. Do you understand this?"

I nodded my head in understanding. "Yes, I do, Conrad." I looked down, my previous thoughts entering in my mind. What do I do? Next thing I know, Conrad places his hands over mine, which were currently clenched.

"Lydia, it is not that I don't trust you, but you must think carefully before asking Juliet because this is a heavy burden and I fear, should your memory come back, that you would be torn between going home and staying here to help." I calmed myself down, squeezing his hands. "Thank you, Conrad."

At that moment, Cordelia came in, asking for my assistance in changing Juliet. I bid goodnight to Conrad before going to help. Once the task was done, Cordelia had asked me to watch over Juliet, making sure that she did not develop a fever overnight. I was soon left to my thoughts once more when I suddenly got hit with the truth as I stared at Juliet. 'She must be the one he is protecting'. There was no other explanation. 'Did that mean he knows Juliet's real identity?' My first immediate thought was that Juliet was in danger until I realized something. If Tybalt knew Juliet's identity, why didn't he turn us in? Conrad always warned Juliet to never be caught, especially as the Red Whirlwind. The consequences were so dire that there wasn't any need to voice them.

It was then that I decided not to tell anyone about Tybalt…at least not until Tybalt does something that might endanger Juliet though I had suspicions that it would never happen. As I watched Juliet's troubled expression, I realized I wasn't the only one with troubling thoughts. Whatever haunted Juliet was shown clearly on her face as she slept. It reminded me that my problems couldn't possibly be as grand as Juliet's. I took her hand and gave her a gentle squeeze, hopefully reassuring her I was here and that she had nothing to worry about. I stayed like that all night, especially when Juliet developed a fever around midnight.

When I went downstairs to get more cold water, I ran into Francisco, who was leaning against the wall leading to the stair case. I didn't say anything and went to the sink to pour the water out. There was no doubt in my mind that he had overheard my conversation with Conrad. He was probably more suspicious over the fact that I wasn't insistent on knowing Juliet's secret. "Instead of just standing there, you might as well let out some steam. I'm used to it if it's coming from you and frankly I'm not in the mood so could you hurry this along?"

I was met with complete silence. Fine, if he wasn't going to say anything that neither was I. I poured some cold water in the bowl and was going to carry it to Juliet's room when he stood in my way. "I gave you time Francisco to insult me. You've lost the chance and if you didn't get it, I'm watching over Juliet, so she doesn't develop a fever. You are only raising that chance by blocking the stairs." He glared at me, apparently trying to find something suspicious in my face. As usual, I stood there facing him head on. I didn't have anything to hide from him.

We would have kept at it for hours too, if Curio hadn't come along. "Francisco, drop it." Francisco reluctantly moved aside, allowing me to go through. "I was only making sure she wasn't poisoning Juliet." That certainly did it. The next moment, Francisco found himself wet and a red handprint on his cheek. "You know what asshole? I am done taking your shit! Ever since I got here I've heard nothing but insults from you and I am sick and tired of it!" I turned to walk away but Francisco had grabbed unto my arm and pulled me back, gripping me as he started yelling. My heartbeat stopped as fear ran through my body, my vision clouding with that man…what he was going to do. "LET GO OF ME!" I struggled and grabbed the first thing I could before swinging it around and hitting my assailant in the head.

I scurried off, holding the bloody candleholder in front of me as I was finding it hard to breathe. My teary eyes widened, my hands letting the candleholder fall against the floor as I realized what I had done. I attacked Francisco, thinking he was… "Francisco are you all right? Lydia why did you do that!" I was frozen in terror as Curio's once kind eyes turned their fury against me. "I-I didn't…I'm sorry…" My tears fell as the shouts of the others started coming closer. What had I done? My eyes shifted as I saw Curio clutching his sword. A stab of betrayal went through my heart and without any thought I ran. I ran and ran, regardless of the shouts behind, regardless if I didn't have a place to go. I lost their trust, I betrayed them and now I was alone. I stopped when I couldn't run anymore, dropping to the ground, and clutching my heart.

My fear had ended up destroying the one good thing I had going for me and now I was all alone again. Everything came rushing in my mind at once and pulled my knees close to my chest, biting my lips as I tried to muffle my sobs. Why was I sent here? Why did I have to put up with any of this? Why did I lose my memory? I spent hours there, bawling my eyes out. What was I going to do now? I couldn't go back. I could never go back. Francisco would only use this to further fuel the groups suspicions about me and Curio, the one who stood by my side would without a doubt agree with him.

Maybe it was best that I disappeared from their lives. Maybe I shouldn't have been a part of it in the first place.I can try to look for somewhere else to stay but I knew no one so the prospect would be a lot harder to accomplish, not that I had any choice. I wiped what remained of my tears and tried to figure where I was. I had subconsciously taken refuge under a bridge, next to the river. But that was all I could say, I was very unfamiliar with area never venturing far from the theatre…even with Cordelia. I had to stop thinking of them. They might be out here to look for me, but I don't know whether it's to keep me alive or not. It hurt thinking they were hunting me down for injuring one of their own and I never thought Curio could hate me, to the point he grabbed his sword.

I stood on shaky feet, feeling a loss of what to do. I'll just follow the river's path, hopefully leading me to one of the villages that surrounded the outskirts of Neo Verona. As I walked, I hoped Juliet would forgive me. What I had done would only cause her to be under more stress than she was before. Why couldn't I have thought rationally during my craze before hitting Francisco. He was an insensitive bastard, but he wouldn't have forced himself on me. Still, him gripping me like that sent me into a frenzy where all I saw was black. Before I could take another step, something had wrapped around my legs and I immediately panicked. I moved to get away, but it had already a fierce grip on me, sending me tumbling to the ground. I managed to protect my head and turned to see that my leg was trapped in some tree roots that were coming out of the river. My thoughts were interrupted when the roots moved, and I dug my nails into the ground, yelling for help as it dragged me underwater. Just before my head was submerged I could have sworn I heard someone yelling out my name. I tried to crawl my way to the surface, but the root was pulling me deeper. As I started losing consciousness from the lack of air, I saw something jump into the water with me.