Chapter Three: To Ashes, To Ashes

"What have they done?"

That was the first sentence that Jesse heard as he landed through. Jesse looked on from the icy beach, also known as the 'world spawn'. In front was…a mess of ashes and nether blocks. Unknown to Jesse and nearly everyone else – well, everyone but the two YouTubers – a colourful but still impressive town used to stand there. Yet instead of the mass of colour and welcoming, friendly spirit, it was something almost literally out of Block of the Dead. (Hang on, isn't that movie set in an apocalyptic SLW?) Or perhaps Beacontown, back in the few weeks it was under Romeo's control – simply Nether-fied and heartbreaking, or even an eyesore, from a complete stranger's point of view.

"Wait, you live here? It looks like –" Radar began, just before some random ghast spawned in and decided to "Imma fireball ya b****es!" That led to a lot of screaming as Isa ninja-swiped the thing like she did back in the Battle of Sky City.

"Phew, I'm glad that's over –" Petra said, just as another ghast decided to intrude on the party. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" "Fireball! No!" Then an arrow and an iron blade (enchanted with Sharpness IV and Unbreaking III – Lukas') impacted upon the ghastly mob. Never mind, panic over, people. Or is it?

"WHAT I WAS SAYING WAS THAT THIS LOOKS LIKE HELL!" Radar yelled. That led to a ton more sighing. "It wasn't always this way," Stacy said. "The last time I was here, it was much more…welcoming. And friendly."

"The last time you came here was around a year before the war, Stacy. It became more developed, then there was no time to improve, even though I had a lot of ideas back then. I guess after…you know, it just went to those two's …style." The iron sword with Sharpness II and Unbreaking II tore the half-decayed head of a zombie off.

"Also known as Hell," Jack grunted, as his own sword sank into a passing creeper. What greeted them next were several buildings, vines dangling from the walls and cobwebs just sitting in corners, as the undead (and other mobs, of course, but mostly the undead) roamed the plank-paved streets. Or rather, paved with not just spruce and birch planks, but also magma blocks, nether brick and red concrete and terracotta blocks.

Dead bushes and flames were everywhere. There were panes missing from the windows, lava dripping from some of the roofs, trees with no leaves even though it was high summer and did I mention exactly how many googlies there were?

In fact, come to think about it, many buildings were basically torn to the ground, after walking around for a couple of hours. For example, the crafting room of the house was nonexistent except for half a stone and cobblestone wall. Most of the other buildings, though, had just random holes torn in them. Like the clock tower, which was still standing on a couple of framework-pillars and had a huge hole blown into the side of the clock face (9/11 much?). Or the Love Garden, where most of the signs were scorched and covered in ash, while the grass was completely overgrown and some of the signs were even completely burnt to a crisp.

The moment the Love Heart recreation was in sight, he felt like a splash poison potion had struck him. Lava, not water. Lava, not water. Invisible lava had seeped in, burning. Slowly melting away the soft, kind heart of carefreeness and friendship within.

He heard voices, a pair that he hoped to never hear again. "Guess what we did today?" One by one. Burnt, exploded, mined down in size. Then a flash. The giant prismarine colossus, smashing his greenish blue fist into the wood and wool tower reconstruct, parrots rapidly fluttering out through the hole in the side…

As a matter of fact, the only untouched structure was the grinder (or Mob Trap, I suppose), which looked like it was their addition, considering that it was made of cobblestone, netherrack, obsidian and other unfriendly-looking blocks (TBH, cobble isn't that ugly. It's just that that combination is hideous!), plus the involvement of fire and lava – two very dangerous-to-dogs substances. These fiery substances were the bane of four – I stand corrected, six of the dead dogs in the SLW.

A/N: Canine Death Count (for your sake…mine too)

Fall Damage: Stampygoodnose (pre-ep 17), Porky (ep 23), Cedric (ep 74), Arrow (ep 80)

Mobs: Gregory (post ep 6, skeleton), Guilty Bark (ep 31, zombie), The Arbiter (ep 102, Sparky), Benton (HS chapter 3, cave spiders, Haunted Trilogy only), Corey (HS chapter 3, cave spiders, Haunted Trilogy only), Bengy (HS chapter 3, wither skeletons, Haunted Trilogy only)

Fire/Lava: Snowy (ep 17), Lucky (ep 42), Tikka (ep 57), Sherbet (HS chapter 3, Haunted Trilogy only), Barnaby (HS chapter 3, Haunted Trilogy only), Bowser (Meeting My Number One Fan, unofficial/fanon)

Drowned: Chicken (ep 45), Oreo (ep 101), Sparky (Lee's, post-ep 102, does not count), Aqua (ep 135), Spring (ep 219)

Players (Humans?): HTT's Unnamed Dog (ep 42, Stampy, does not count), Barnaby (ep 500, HTT, revived, does not count), Luna (HS chapter 3, VD, Haunted Trilogy only), Flippy (HS chapter 3, HTT, Haunted Trilogy only, unconfirmed), Duncan (HS chapter 3, HTT, Haunted Trilogy only, unconfirmed)

Total Death Count in Ways: 4 (falling), 3 [Trilogy: 6] (mobs), 3 [fanon: 4, Trilogy: 6] (fire/lava), 4 (drowning), 0 [Trilogy: most likely 3, 1 confirmed] (players)

Total Death Count in Numbers (with total number of dogs): 14/24 (canon), 15/25 (fanon), 21 (confirmed)/25 (Trilogy)

Got that, readers? Moving on!

"If you're looking for these villains, where are they?" Isa asked. Nurm somehow managed to bring up a map of the SLW (Of course he can! He's a cartographer!) just moments later, then Stampy pointed out a patch of dark red, like nether-brick in the bottom right corner of the map. "There. It's where their fortress is."

All of a sudden, the group heard rustling. "What is this? How did they find us so fast?" A dozen swords, bows and arrows were quickly drawn, as the bushes nearby shook violently, like if something was about to emerge, leap out and tear them apart and to pieces…

A/N: I originally planned for TargetDash to appear at the end of the chapter, but I guess I'm out of time! The reason why the Mob Trap wasn't wrecked in any way was because it was (to HTT), and I quote from canon (SLW ep 526 – Saving the World), "the only decent-looking building in this entire world". So your fort looks terrible too, HTT? You're just roasting your own building skills there, sh**head!

What's behind the bushes? Guess in the reviews, and don't forget to R&R!

-Talons