Author's Note:
Thank you for all the kind reviews! Sorry this chapter took so long, I read some brilliant fanfictions about these two whilst on holiday which although I throughly enjoyed made it even harder to find a unique way to continue this story.

Charles

I was ready to die when I jumped off that cliff. In fact I wanted to die.

When I think of what a fucking mess by life has become in the last 6 months I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to think about how I have let everyone down. I don't want to think of how my son hates me. I don't want to think of Lane, who I was I so obsessed with being there for, I let it consume me. I don't want to think of Elvis, and how in try to keep my promise to him by protecting his girl has ended in me betraying him by screwing his girl. And I certainly, certainly, don't want to think of Molly, for I know that when she finds out what I have done, it will break her and our marriage beyond repair.

Yet, I also know that it was not thinking, not listening to my conscious and the people around me that has gotten me into this nightmare.

I jumped off that cliff believing I was going to die but it had the opposite effect - It has brought me back to life. Woken me from the nightmare I have been living for the last few months when I felt that I had no control over my life. I don't know how to explain it but it was almost like I was a by stander in my own life or a puppet in a play with someone else pulling all the strings. Everything was soo overwhelming and didn't know how to handle all the conflicting emotions I was feeling so I focused on one thing which I knew I was capable off, looking after Lane. Elvis & I had made a pact many years ago that if ever anything ever happened to one of us, the other would do everything they could to look after the other one's family. Well Elvis's family were close & were looking after each other & his daughter but no-one knew that he & Lane had made amends, no-one was looking after Lane, so to me it obvious that that is what Elvis would have wanted me to do.

I didn't even realise I was pushing Molly away at first. I remember being conscious that I didn't want her to know the failures I had made on that last tour, so I refused to talk about it with her. I know I didn't want to inflict my grief & despair onto her & in turn bring her down with me. She was, she is, too brilliant for that. What I don't understand is how it got to this.

I can't even look at Lane now. The disgust I feel with myself is overwhelming. She tried to talk to me earlier, before we left the hospital, but thankfully the lads interrupted. I don't know what I am going to say to her but I know that I have to explain that it was mistake yet I still don't want to hurt her. God she's been through enough & it was all my fault.

As I sit here now on the plane back to the UK, I can at least be thankful that all the section are still alive. My reckless actions may result in a court marshall for myslef (not that I don't deserve it) but at least the only thing they have suffered is a few broken bones. They are still able to make plans for their leave. I listen half heartedly as Monk talks excitedly about his baby and how his girlfriend is bringing her to meet him at Brize. He is telling everyone they need to come to meet her but don't expect a cuddle because he want be letting go her any time soon. That starts the usual discussion of who else is going to be there to meet us & I feel my heart sink even lower as I know what is coming. Before I even have time to consider a reply Finger has asked it "Is Molls picking you up Boss?". I can't even breath never mind reply but whether Brains realises that or not, he decides to answer on my behalf.

"No, I spoke to her last week" he says. That reply doesn't help my heart rate decrease any... When last week? What did she tell him? Did she tell him we'd broke up? I look to Lane to guage her reaction but she is clearly trying to avoid being drawn into the conversation, staring in the opposite direction yet I can tell from her body language that she is as uncomfitable with the conversation as I am. Fingers continue oblivious. "She said she had to work, got a bunch of new recuits in so couldn't be here to meet us". So she hasn't told them, I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.

"Shame inn't it, I look forward to seeing Molls as much as I do my own family" Fingers states

"That's because she is family you Knob" Mansfield pipes up "Here, have you met her Ruby?" Ruby shakes his head "Well she's the true 2 Section medic! No offence Georgie, we love you too, but our Molls was the dog's bollocks! It was only cause she went & married the Boss here that she left us. But then again those two together as soo sickening in love it maybe better that she did move on" God I think I'm going to be sick. "Bit you and Maizie here Rab" and with that the conversation moves on whilst I am left battling the urge the throw up & to find the tears which have escaped my eyes. I know they are right, we were sickening, I loved Molly so much & I that she returned by love in equal amount and I have thrown it all away.

I make a resolve there & then to do everything in my power to prove to Molly that I still love her and that I am so sorry for the hurt I've caused her. I know that she is very proud & I don't expect or derserve her forgiveness but I will never let her believe that she is anything other than brilliant.

Authur's Note:

I think that's it from me for this story as writing it as helped remove some of angst I was left with after the current series. However, I would like to urge other people to give writing a fanfic a go. I was surprised at how easy it was do & the reviews certainly do make my day.