Wordcount: 4,767
Chell didn't expect the first thing she saw when her eye-shields retracted to be GLaDOS. She looked relieved at the core's awakening. She moved back from the smaller core, giving a mechanical sigh.
"Thank god you're alright." These words, however innocent they seemed, stirred something deep inside the core. She wondered where she'd heard them before.
"What... happened?" The core croaked, a metallic edge to her voice.
GLaDOS looked rightfully surprised. "Chell? Is that actually you?" She nodded, feeling slightly woozy
"You fell off your rail. Into one of the old test chambers." She informed. Chell rolled her eye in response. Obviously.
GLaDOS's expression turned sour. "Fine. Tell me something I don't know, I get it. Well, you were passed out when I found you, and you've been asleep for two hours now. Not just that, but you didn't break a single part. Apparently, your affinity for cheating death carries over to your new body." Chell cracked a smile at this.
"Now, you must have a lot of questions. No doubt you've lots to say, judging by the fact you've jump-started your vocal cords in such a short period of time."
"For... how long?" The core asked.
"You were gone for two days when I began to grow concerned." She explained. "So, I dispatched Orange and Blue to recover you."
"How are they?"
GLaDOS shrugged. "Neutral, I suppose."
"Tell me a bit more about this... thing I'm in."
"This is a personality construct. As you have no doubt learnt by now, this means your only form of movement is on a Management Rail. So, yes, you may not be dying anytime soon, but you are not going to be doing anything that humans do. Walking, drinking, eating. Although," She added. "The latter may mean you could lose a few pounds."
"Impossible." Chell scoffed.
GLaDOS just smirked.
There was a short silence, punctuated only by the ambience of Aperture all around them.
GLaDOS sighed. "Well... I suppose I'd better get used to having a useless metal ball around here again."
"I can be of use."
She snorted. "How exactly?"
Chell shrugged in response. "I'll figure it out."
GLaDOS summoned a claw arm, picking the core up and attaching it to the Management Rail. "Try not to fall off again."
"I'll try." As Chell was setting off, GLaDOS stopped her. "One last thing."
"Yes?"
"It's... good to have you back." GLaDOS said, in what sounded to Chell like a sincere tone.
She would've smiled if she could. "You too."
Over the days that followed, Chell quickly became accustomed to life as a core, much to GLaDOS's surprise. She had told Chell it would take a while to adapt to the change, but she had obviously underestimated her ability.
It was annoying, not being able to move as easily as she did as a human. But eventually, it was just as natural as talking, which she was doing more of now. GLaDOS did seem genuinely impressed by this incredible progress. But, Chell had her doubts about her exterior emotions.
She'd known GLaDOS for almost as long as she could remember, and had a basic handle on the most common emotions she displayed. Mostly just anger, bitterness, and hatred, half of which she deserved. But she was being so... nice to her. Encouraging her, trying to find tasks for her. As far as she knew, this entire thing was a facade, and she only kept it up because...
She frowned to herself. Because what?
Ever since GLaDOS learned how she was created, she seemed a little gentler. Less aggressive. And no matter how hard Chell thought, she couldn't think of a reason that GLaDOS was acting this way. She was so used to her bitterness and passive-aggressive taunts, often directed towards her, that whenever she tried to rationalise it, her search came up blank. Make no mistake, she'd considered asking her, but GLaDOS had a tendency to go from neutral to pure hellfire when pressed for details about something she didn't want to answer.
So, she left it alone.
"I swear I know him."
"Because of what you did... I failed somebody today."
"You really are doing great..."
"The rest is history."
"Chell."
The weird dreams just wouldn't stop. Worse still, she barely remembered any of the dreams when she woke. And remembering was something she prided herself on. When the only part of your life you can really remember is in the company of a test-building supercomputer, memories are something that sticks as easily as glue. Not the cheap kind.
The only bit she really remembered was part of one dream, where she heard the words, "Because of what you did... I failed somebody today."
She had no idea what it meant. No idea who could've said that. Her first thought was GLaDOS, but she was quick to dismiss it. No matter how she felt, she would never sound that depressed.
Chell sighed, swinging on the rail a bit. She couldn't think of any reason why she might be having these dreams. Then again, it had crossed her mind that she was just completely insane.
Fair enough, really, considering that I am.
She finally decided, after much thought, that she'd go and see GLaDOS about it. No harm in trying. Only being called crazy, a lunatic, etc. etc...
As she eased herself down the rail, a dull whine filled her ears. Sparks flew past her eye-shields. The slightly rusty metal screeched. It took her too long to realise this was not normal. A firework-worthy explosion of sparks filled her peripheral vision, all the while the sound of scraping metal ate away at her hull.
A horrid, glitchy noise warbled in her ears as her gyroscopes slowed to a crawl, her entire iris going dark. I just can't get a break, can I, she was thinking, before her system shut down.
Chell didn't really expect GLaDOS to flip out as much as she did when she woke up from that incident. Livid was too weak a word. Fury was good. Hellfire better still. But damnation was probably the word she was looking for.
"I thought I told you," GLaDOS said, her optic flicking furiously between a monitor displaying the video feed of her accident, and her, "NOT to fall off that rail again. Did you mishear me? I said NOT to fall off."
"Look," Chell answered, "I didn't want to fall off the rail. I was just coming to see you."
GLaDOS scoffed. "Come on. I'm not that easily fooled. You ruined my life once, twice, and now you've hit the three-time mark. When will you EVER get tired of these aimless shenanigans?"
Heh, "shenanigans", Chell thought, suppressing a chuckle. "I'm sorry. I just needed to talk to you about something."
"Well, for God's sake, if you-" She stopped, sighing. "Nevermind. What is it?"
Chell explained the strange dreams, only being able to really mention the contents of the one dream she remembered. When she did so, she was a little confused at GLaDOS's disturbed expression.
"Well... I am not sure what to say or do." GLaDOS said, after a long pause.
"But you can tell me the meaning of the dream, right?" Chell replied. "I mean, you're a supercomputer infused with human intelligence and emotions. Surely you can tell me."
GLaDOS sighed. "Look... Chell. I'm... not going to be able to hide this anymore. You're just going to find out somehow. By hook or by crook, you always do. My God, you're annoying that way."
Chell gave a weak smile. GLaDOS continued.
"I'm going to tell you a lot of things and I need you to understand them. Because they're important. They're the reason why I keep you around. I haven't tried to kill you just because it's hard. It's for a very good reason."
"Is it because you love me?" She had no idea why she said that. Probably to lighten the serious mood. Either way, it didn't work. Instead, the AI gave her a look of disgust.
"No. Robots can't love, imbecile."
"Well, I heard that you can do some pretty amazing things with the right engineers and programmers at your disposal."
"Are you going to keep wasting time, or listen?"
Chell relented. GLaDOS seemed relieved.
"Now... You know I used to be a scientist named Caroline." Chell nodded. She had known about Caroline for a long time. Nearly a year ago, she had been down there, after Wheatley had ripped control away from GLaDOS. She remembered Cave Johnson's voice, booming out from PA systems all over the place. And then, when she and GLaDOS were reunited, she began to notice how the AI reacted to hearing Cave's assistant talk. She learned, through subtle hints that GLaDOS let slip, that Caroline was the scientist who later became the supercomputer that had put her through all this. She wasn't sure whether to be angry, forgiving, or sympathetic. It was just all too confusing for words.
"Well... you'll remember that she was involuntarily used as a candidate for an experiment Cave Johnson had been talking about for only a few months or so. He thought it was... a tad dangerous. So, he selected his own assistant, Caroline, to be the first test subject. The tester had become the tested." Chell was unnerved. Why was she reminding her of all this? She knew all of it. She's going to say SOMETHING new and crazy. Surely.
"I'd like to show you something I managed to dig up." She turned to the monitor screen. "It took a long time, but I... needed to find it. It was important to me."
Cue a few bursts of static, and a few mumbled curses from GLaDOS as she attempted to get it working. Chell knew when she'd gotten it, because she turned to her, and continued speaking. "The footage is damaged from ageing, but nonetheless, you will get the gist of what is occurring."
Wavy lines of static danced across the screen, until some video started to play. The scene was obviously from a security camera of some sort, as it was mounted high on a wall. The room's walls were olive-green, the trim being clove-coloured. An elderly man was lying in a bed, surrounded by all kinds of medical equipment.
"That," remarked GLaDOS, "is Cave Johnson."
Chell swallowed. Surely this couldn't be good. Surely...
He was truly a sight for sore eyes. His face was the colour of chalk, and his cheeks were sunken and unnaturally bony. As if he was shrivelling up by the minute. A result of his moon rock experiments, no doubt...
The door opened. In came a woman flanked by two men in lab coats. The woman wore a long white dress, a red neck-scarf, and had black hair that flowed freely from her scalp like an inky waterfall. Chell had seen her in a portrait in old Aperture. That was...
Now she knew what this was.
"You... wanted to see me, mister Johnson?" Caroline asked tentatively. Chell noticed that the two white-coats stood at both sides of the doorway, and, judging by the cast of characters, and the circumstances, assumed the worst of intentions.
A dry cough echoed throughout the room.
"Yes, Caroline. I did." His voice sounded like it was coming through a mouthful of gravel.
"W-what about, sir?" Caroline sounded nervous.
"Well... I'm getting on in years. I think death has finally caught up with me." He chuckled when he saw Caroline's horrified expression. "Don't look so shocked, Caroline. Nobody is above death. Nobody can escape forever."
She was silent.
"Well, somebody is."
Caroline inquired as to who that might be. Cave laughed heartily. "Why, you, of course!" She was quiet as she tried to understand what he meant.
Finally, she said, "I don't really understand, mister Johnson."
"Well... you understand that I have scientists working on artificial intelligence right now. Like I said, we should've been working on it 30 years ago. So, we're making up for lost time. I asked 'em if they could pour me into that computer. And you know what they said? It might be dangerous. We've never done this before. So... I decided we needed to test it."
Caroline's eyes widened as she mentally connected the dots. "So... what you're saying is..."
"Yes, Caroline. I want you to be the one who runs this place. I want you to do the science that I never could, and keep this great place's legacy alive. I want nobody else to do it." He answered.
Caroline was quiet for a few seconds. "That's... that's very kind of you, sir, but I don't think-"
He sighed. "I knew you'd say that. You're modest like that... but." He turned to face her. He wore an unreadable expression. Something like sadness mixed with pain, regret, and a smile all rolled into one. "This is not up for debate. You don't have a choice. I'm sorry, Caroline."
She was too late to realise what this all meant. By the time she'd figured it out, the two men were already ushering her out of the room. She tried to break free, but they refused to let her go. "S-sir, please! I can't! I-I don't want to!"
"Please, calm yourself, miss Johnson." One of the white-coats said.
As one of them closed the door, Caroline screamed, "No, mister Johnson! I don't want this!" before the door shut, leaving only Cave behind.
"Sorry, Caroline..." He mumbled to himself. "Maybe one day, you'll... you'll understand."
Then there was a burst of static as the tape ended.
Chell only really noticed it was over when she realised GLaDOS was talking. "-yes, regrettable... but all the same, look where I am now."
"Y-yes..." She mumbled in agreement, trying to look invested.
"Do you understand what I'm saying, Chell?" GLaDOS said, staring at the wall opposite her. "I'm saying that what he did may have resulted in Caroline suffering, and for that, I pity her. But... all the same, I am now the most intelligent being within this universe. He caused me grief, and gave me incredible knowledge in one fell swoop. He did me good, and did me bad."
"Uh... not really."
GLaDOS sighed. "I mean it is difficult for me, personally, to hate him. He did me both good and bad."
Right...
"I'm telling you all this, because I have to share with you some complex things that I've been hiding from you for a long time." The AI said, turning away momentarily. "You may wonder what my feelings are towards Caroline. Was she just another pawn in someone else's game? Or just a name on the long list of employees? Or was she important to me? Well, I'll tell you." A pause. "Caroline was very important to me. Why? Because she is the reason I exist. Not just that, but... we're not that different. We have much in common.
"And because of that... I understood when she asked for a favour. She told me... there was someone she wanted me to protect at all costs." She turned to face the core.
"It was you."
She wasn't sure what to say to this.
"Why did she want to protect you so badly? Well, I'll tell you. It's because of a motherly bond that exists between the two of you." GLaDOS saw the realisation flashing in Chell's eyes. "That's right. Caroline Johnson was your mother."
This has to be a joke, right? No way she would tell me something like that without there being a punchline.
"I would never lie about things such as this, if that's what you're thinking. Caroline asked me to protect you, and, as I was technically in her debt, I repaid her by sticking to my word.
"If you don't believe me, think about that time you and that metal ball barged in here. I could've killed both of you. I could've used lasers, crushers, or anything else I had at my disposal that wasn't ruined. But I didn't, because I stuck to my word. I let you win, albeit in bad taste. I could not think of a way to give off the facade that you had triumphed, without that idiot taking over. And because he did, I had to play along."
"But you... you didn't remember Caroline at the time, until you heard her on the recorded message." Chell reasoned. GLaDOS scoffed.
"Oh sure, I may be an omnipotent AI but, I don't remember everything. All I remembered on that matter was just that I had to protect you. It felt like something I shouldn't ignore. Something I couldn't ignore for very long if I were to do so. And I am never one to slip from my word." GLaDOS countered.
"What, like the surprise?"
"Off-topic, completely unrelated. The point is, that is what I wanted to tell you. I have told it, and now, we must address a more serious matter." The AI sighed heavily. "Of the things I would discuss with you, this would come at number 8,629 out of 10,000."
"I'm listening."
"That dream you mentioned to me...
"What you are seeing or hearing is simply a figment of your imagination. But it is strangely linked to your processing functions and the people around you. For example, the dream you had where you heard a voice telling you it had failed somebody. That was most likely Caroline, and the voice was most likely me, having failed to keep my part of the deal. Something that has not happened... Yet, at least. I have no explanation for that dream. Sheer dumb luck, I suppose. The point is, you have been malfunctioning many times, resulting in you falling off your rail. And here I thought it was a weight problem..."
Chell tried to smile, but really this wasn't funny.
"The good news is that, you're not broken. You're completely fine. Unfortunately... it is bad news all the way, I'm afraid. At this point, the glitches will just get worse. You may even end up in the AI equivalent of limbo. A catatonic state, if you will."
This brought memories flooding back. I'm not going back THERE in a hurry, that's for sure.
"W-well... Come on, you've gotta have a solution! You're the ruler of this place, the smartest thing in the universe! You have to know WHAT to do!" Chell said nervously, her voice rising a bit.
GLaDOS smiled wryly. "Within this universe I said. And I may be smart, but there are some things that I would not risk."
Chell was getting edgier by the second. "Break the deal! I'll understand, Caroline would too! Anything to keep me alive and well, r-right?" She exclaimed.
She sighed. "I understand your frustration. But I can't risk damaging you in the process."
Chell formed her voice into the most manipulative she could. "Please, GLaDOS." She pleaded, her singular eye staring up at her. "I'd forgive any mistake you made. And... there's no point in not trying, right?"
There was a heavy silence hanging in the air. Eventually, GLaDOS sighed once more (nearly her hundredth or so, Chell thought) and said: "Fine. But, one warning: To solve this... there is one highly questionable thing I will have to do."
"What's that?"
"Erase your memories."
The silence was heavier than a two-tonne weight.
"You're joking, right?" Chell did seem genuinely shocked.
"I told you it would be highly questionable. I understand the value memories hold, and that is why I do not wish to do this. If you back out of this, I will understand."
"But... if I do, then... I'll keep glitching like before, won't I?" Chell was attempting to reason with herself. "That'll probably cause more pain then if I went ahead. And... I wouldn't remember it anyway, so..."
"Why, Chell?" GLaDOS said, sounding exhausted. "Why must you torment me like this?"
She looked confused. This just annoyed the AI further. "Your memories are surely valuable, and they define who you are as a person. I don't want to take that away from you. So why? Why agree to such an absurd thing?"
Chell looked at the ground for a moment, considering her answer. "I... I guess it's just because I want to keep going. I don't want to be stopped by some malfunctions here and there. I want to keep going. I..." She remembered her file. "I have high levels of tenacity. Just like the file says. I'll keep going, because I don't give up. It's just... how I am, I guess. I can't really explain it."
GLaDOS was quiet, as if weighing her statement. "...Well, it is a foolish and improbable reason, but I suppose there really is no stopping you." Chell gave one last smile. "But, please, don't say I didn't warn you.
"I need you unconscious for this, if that's alright with you."
"Whatever you say."
A claw arm picked her up, plugging her into a security mainframe stick on the wall. GLaDOS called an immediate shutdown. Within seconds, Chell could feel her functions dulling as they shut down.
"Anything you want to say before..."
"I guess."
"Well, do it now. There's not much time left."
"I don't blame you? No, no, that didn't sound right at all."
For God's sake.
"Just make up your mind."
"Thanks. For... everything."
So this is how it ends...
GLaDOS watched as Chell's aperture darkened, before going completely black. She waited a moment, before getting to work. There were a lot of memories to sift through. Although, there were not as many as she had expected. Many had been lost just from not being recalled enough. Some were on the verge of being lost. She decided to leave those to do their thing.
She divided all the memories into separate folders, some for memories, some for interests, some for personality traits... She decided to leave her tenacity untouched. Too high to want to change, too valuable to waste.
But when she got to the folder marked 'IDENTITY', she stopped. She'd been working in such a blind frenzy she didn't even notice it. She opened it. Gazing over the multitudes of important files for subject name here's name, age, etc. etc., her interest was piqued by the sheer amount of data The section on her identity was not long, by any means, but...
Slowly and deliberately, she thought about it. The cursor hovering over ERASE. It was such a tough decision. Erase her memories to save her? Or keep them and cause her suffering? She thought about it for a long time.
Then, she made up her mind.
Three days later...
GLaDOS had been waiting for three days now. She was, by all means, not impatient. But, the circumstances were really driving her insane. Watching, waiting, for something, anything to happen. Still, she was left wondering if she'd permanently damaged the core, or if it was still processing all the changes. She'd made at least 6,725.3 changes, and that's a lot even for an Aperture Science Personality Construct to process.
The construct in question sat in a large glass box, visible to GLaDOS, and the 30 cameras in her chamber. Its eye was still dark, and it showed no visible sign of movement and/or life. But surely, it would wake soon. Surely...
But, nothing happened for another 2.31 hours, so she went back to the Co-Operative Testing Initiative. But, Orange and Blue didn't seem to be coming up with the goods. Their progress was slow, their solutions not satisfying. She sighed, opening the audio channel.
"You. Orange. Minus twelve Science Collaboration Points. Perhaps you'll work harder." She said, in a flat monotone.
Orange looked nearly on the verge of tears. But that was impossible. The least they could do was leak cleansing gel from their tear ducts, designed to clear the apertures in case of obstruction.
Another sigh. "I understand your grief. But science must be done. So... please. Just... keep going."
The two bots obliged, but still, their progress was glacial. She didn't bother complaining. Partly because she was still watching Chell. And still hoping she would wake up.
"Please... wake up. You're only letting science down. Only letting her down." She paused. "Can you hear me? If you can, I would suggest a sign. To let me know that you can hear me."
Nothing.
She coughed. "You dangerous, mute lunatic. Need I add deafness to that list?"
Still nothing. Just goes to show insults are useless... GLaDOS thought grumpily. Even the most insulting of rubbish can't make somebody wake up. Pitiful.
Her mental meanderings were brought to a halt by a short spark emitting from the metal hull. GLaDOS's eye immediately darted towards it. I retract my previous statement, insults really are powerful.
"Chell?" She exclaimed. The small lights inside her eye were brightening. The beautiful, warm orange colour flooded her entire aperture. It really is you, she thought, utterly astonished.
A claw removed the top from the box, scooping her out of it, dangling it before GLaDOS's eye. Slowly, the core's eye focused on her, and it gently spoke, its synthesised voice resonating in the chamber.
"Apple."
"Oh my God..." She was almost beside herself. "I-it really is you! Chell, I'm loath to say this, but I'm so happy to see you. It worked!"
The core blinked. "G-GLaDOS?" It enquired.
"Yes, that's my name. Che- you. Do you know who you are?"
"I'm..." A short pause. "Chell."
"Do you know what you are?"
"An Aperture Science Personality Construct."
"You're not..." How to word this... "...human. Correct?"
A metallic chuckle. "Not that I know of."
Metaphorical tears were welling up in GLaDOS's eye. She wished not to tell her the previous details, but it was already escaping like a pinprick in a rain-cloud. "Ch-Chell... I had to erase your m-memories, you know..."
The core looked quizzical. "Excuse me?"
She ploughed on. "But I couldn't do it. I removed so much, altered so many little details, but... in the end..." She looked right into the core's eye. What Chell saw might've been crazed desperation, insanity, or relief and sadness at the same time. Either way, she looked slightly disturbed by GLaDOS's behaviour.
"GLaDOS, you..."
"I couldn't do it."
The core was silent as GLaDOS breathed deeply, and then carried on. "That's why you know who you are... I changed everything. But left that intact. Do you understand me?" She said, her voice taken on a scratchier edge. "You think you've always been a core. But it's not true."
Chell slowly spoke, as to not spook her. "GLaDOS, I... don't understand what you're on about."
GLaDOS laughed. It was a strange one. Its pitch went up and down as GLaDOS became overwhelmed with emotions she thought never existed within her. "It's fine. You don't have to understand. Maybe you will one day."
A second claw was summoned, pulling the construct closer, as the Queen of Aperture performed her equivalent of a hug. While GLaDOS mumbled incoherently, Chell was staring at the mural that had been fastened to the wall behind her. It was a good one, obviously done on a different panel, hence why it stuck out from the curved wall of the chamber. It depicted a woman wearing the standard orange Aperture jumpsuit, her hair tied in a ponytail. Even as Chell stared at it, she felt there was something... off about it. Like she'd seen it before. Like it felt...
Familiar.
It's been a long time. How have you been?
I've been really busy... not working on this story.
In all honesty, this last part killed me to write. Mostly because I had next to NO CLUE what to put in this chapter. I knew how it was going to end, but had no idea what to put in the middle. I apologise for the severe amount of procrastinating I did. I know I could've gotten it finished way earlier, but... I was a real grade-A moron. There's not really any excuse other then... I've been drifting away from the Portal fandom a bit.
Also, I'd just like to add that the "Caroline is Chell's Mother" theory is not canon. I just personally believe it to be true.
So, time for the obligatory wrapping-things-up Q&A:
Q1. Will there be a sequel?
A. No. This is really all I had planned, and I feel like that's it. I've told the story I want to tell, so that's that. Nothing else to add to it.
Q2. What does the ending mean?
A: I hoped it would be obvious, just so it wasn't one of THOSE endings (you know, the 'ambiguous' endings in books... I HATE THOSE). I just wanted it to be something to wrap the story up neatly. All loose ends tied.
If you didn't get it, Chell's identity hasn't been fully lost, because GLaDOS couldn't bring herself to erase everything, so she altered her memories, so Chell believes she was always a core. That's why the woman in the mural (the one by Doug Rattmann) looks so familiar to her.
Speaking of Rattmann...
Q3. Where's Doug?
A: Dunno. He's not important to the story.
Also, the "Three days later..." is not counted in the wordcount, as it is technically a transition. Just clearing that up.
Well, I guess that just about does it. Thanks for being so patient with me. I'll try not to be so tardy next time. Before I go, I want to mention that this isn't goodbye. I'm going to write more, I'm just taking a break so I can work on other things. Then, I'll come back. Most likely with something Undertale-related, because I've wanted to write for that for a long time.
Well, it's been fun.
Cave Johnson, we're done here.
- offbrandbiscuit