Natsu wasn't sure what it was, but he felt a shift in him since that night with Lucy, and he couldn't really pinpoint if it was a good or bad one. His body felt heavier, and he was so tired, that he couldn't even keep tabs on Zeref anymore. He always ended up falling asleep in a tree somewhere.

He hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep this time, until an apple was thrown at his head, making him snap awake and fall from the branch and onto the dirt ground in front of the thrower of said apple.

Of course, it was none other than Lucy Heartfilia.

"I haven't seen you in awhile, why don't you eat lunch with me?" she asked, taking a seat by him, as he dusted himself.

Natsu could feel his heart seize up in his chest, elated that Lucy wanted to be with him, despite everything. "O-Okay..." was all he could manage, as he settled next to her.

"So... I was learning about the myths of the gods today..." Lucy started, taking a bite out of her sandwich, and Natsu felt his heart drop once more at her tone, but remained silent, and listened "So Igneel is the god that made the Earth, right?"

Natsu nodded in affirmation "Yes... and Anna is the goddess that breathed life onto it." he continued for her "It was a team effort from both of them..."

"But while Anna had fallen in love with her creation, Igneel preferred the nature" Lucy added, confusing Natsu. He had never heard that before, but was that how it was? Well it didn't sound surprising in any case. Lucy always loved being around people, while Natsu had always tried to escape, and be alone.

"Anna was the one who originally gave up her god-like form and power, to be reborn on Earth as one of her beloved humans, giving up her identity to become another... Igneel followed after, unwilling to lose his love, and his closest friend to such a curse." Lucy continued, before looking at Natsu, making him flinch at her seriousness "Before, we would always find each other, and fall in love on our own accord... but this is different, isn't it? You remembered every single past life we had together..."

Natsu was shocked, but wet his lips, before giving an answer "Well, yeah, but... how does that change anything?"

Lucy looked down at the grass between them, plucking at the blades "Natsu... what did you do in your last life that might have changed how this life turned out? Something that was different from the others?"

A brief span of silence passed between them, as Natsu thought about it, until he suddenly realized "I killed myself. To get to my next life and save you." he said, and Lucy winced

"Natsu... I feel like the way you're going..." Lucy paused, as if trying to find the words to express it "I don't mind fighting fate and destiny, but I don't want the world to perish in the process. I feel like you're considering... Unthinkable things... Out of desperation"

More silence.

Natsu didn't know what to say to that, and after about 10 minutes, Lucy stood, and placed a soft kiss on the top of his head "I'll fight to stay alive, but in return don't let despair consume you." and at that, Lucy left, leaving him alone in the small forest clearing.

He soon felt his heart start to race, and he couldn't help the small, helpless smile that made it's way onto his face, as he realized now what his shift was.

His despair, his sadness, his helplessness, and his desperation...

All of this was the start of a slow descent into shadow. And the dark pattern swirling up his left arm was all the confirmation he needed.

To say hiding mysterious patterns on your arm was hard was putting it simply. Thankfully he had a sleeve covering his left arm most of the time, but Natsu typically preferred sleeping shirtless, because he found wearing one way too stuffy for his tastes.

But now he had to, of course, because of God knows why. Really, what were these patterns on his arm? What did they mean for him? He could only guess it was an outer reflection of his judgements towards the Earth, and the humans on it. The darkness inside him.

What probably was the most upsetting about it was that Lucy was RIGHT. He was the one who kept all his previous incarnations memories, so how was Lucy more perceptive to these things?

"Well, she's always been the smart one…" Natsu muttered to himself absent mindedly, as he traversed through the dense forests. He wasn't sure quite why he was here, but he needed a breather, and this seemed like the best place to go for that.

"Why is it always me…" A sigh escaped his mouth, as he sat on the forest floor "I'm just… so selfish…"

Natsu blinked slowly as a dark cloud passed overhead, starting to hear voices, whispering and prodding at him. Dark voices and thoughts which never even crossed his mind before.

'Fire is a selfish existence…'

'It can't exist without taking the life of another…'

'your very being is made up of this…'

'The darkness won't deny you…'

'We will comfort you…'

'Natsu Dragneel…'

'Dear brother…'

Lucy frowned, looking outside the bedroom window. Dark storm clouds were brewing over the town, sharp thunder already clapping in the distance.

"This storm sure came out of nowhere…" Lucy commented to Yukino, who was forced to flee inside with her. The two girls flinched at more lightening, as rain started to pour "And Natsu is still nowhere to be found… Where on Earth is he in this weather?"

Yukino's expression tightened, staring intently over the forest. "Miss Lucy…" She started, putting her hand on her shoulder "Something about this storm isn't right…"

Lucy hated to admit it, but she was feeling the same. She got the same feeling in her gut when she was fighting that shadow before… And the fact Natsu was still gone didn't bode well to this fact.

'Natsu… Just hurry back…'