Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Rating: T

What If

Chapter 2

Giles quietly slipped into Buffy's room, the sound of the others talking drifting up the stairs behind him, and saw Dawn trying to encourage her to eat something.

"Come on Buffy please?" she begged holding out a cookie, "You won't get better if you don't eat"

"She's right Buffy" Giles said as he sat beside her on the edge of the bed, smiling when Buffy seemed to relax in his presence.

"See, Giles says I'm right so it must be true" Dawn said smugly, grinning at him.

"How long?" Buffy asked him, sliding a cracker off of the plate in Dawns hand, nibbling on it as she watched his face for a reaction.

"Nearly five months" he replied looking at the floor, his eyes closed against the onslaught of memories and pain that he had carried with him since she had died.

"It was them wasn't it, they brought me back?" she asked, taking another cracker, smiling at Dawn when she started to eat the cookie that she had been trying to get Buffy to eat.

"It looks that way yes" he said his mouth set in a grim line, his eyes flashing angrily as he slid his glasses off.

Buffy sighed sadly as he rubbed at his eyes, the tiredness plain on his face, "Do you want to go home Giles? You must be tired"

His head whipped up and he stared at her in shock, a little of what looked like fear in his eyes, "Do you want me to go" he asked her, his body tensed waiting for her answer.

Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head, "No, I'm afraid to fall asleep" she said, her voice cracking as the tears started again.

Giles shifted on the bed and drew her into his arms, "Ssh love, it's alright, I won't leave you" he murmured. He watched Dawn tear up as she placed the plate on Buffy's night stand then scoot over on the bed so she could be closer to her sister.

"I'll stay here with you" she said softly, stroking Buffy's arm.

"I don't want to keep you up" Buffy said turning her head and looking at her sister, "But you can stay until Giles gets back"

"I'm sorry, am I going somewhere?" he asked with a playfully shocked tone.

"Well yeah" Buffy said smiling slightly at the teasing light in his eyes, "You can't sleep in that" she said pointing to his shirt.

He blinked in surprise when he looked down at himself and realised that he still had the shirt and suit trousers on that he had passed out in albeit a little bloodier now, "Yes I suppose you're right" he said with a small smile, "Will you be alright while I go fetch a change of clothes?" he asked her watching her closely.

Her eyes darted around the room and she jumped a little when Dawn gently touched her arm, "I won't leave you" Dawn said with a smile then gripped Buffy's hand.

"I have Dawn here so I'll be ok for a little while" she said laying her head on her sisters, "but don't be too long though ok"

"I won't be" he smiled at her as he stood up then left the room.

He drove back to his flat in thoughtful silence, wondering what spell Willow had used to bring her back. He had always known where she was, he had found an incantation a few weeks after her death that he had used to find her. He wasn't actually sure what he would have done if she had been trapped in a Hell dimension but he was happy to find her surrounded by light and warmth. It had helped ease some of his pain but the revelation he had had shortly before her death had kept it from helping him to move on.

He wasn't sure exactly when his feelings for her had changed but he knew that when he had been stuck with that bloody spear he had only thought of her, only seen her. When they had argued before she had died he had known for certain that he had fallen in love with her and it made the pain of losing her all the more unbearable.

When he pulled up outside his apartment building he sat quietly with his head on the steering wheel for a moment, still trying to absorb the fact that his Buffy was back. He smiled as the happiness welled up inside of him, only slightly tainted by the guilt that he felt that way after she had been so callously torn out of heaven.

As he walked down the steps into the courtyard he frowned at his closed door. Silently making his way over he slowly pushed it open and cautiously stepped inside.

He sighed in relief when Spike stepped out of his kitchen holding out a cup of tea, "What the bloody hell are you doing here Spike?" he asked him as he took the cup from his hands.

"You said you might need a new door so I figured I'd come over and see if the place had been turned over then I decided to stay to make sure it wouldn't be" Spike said flopping down on the sofa with a box of crackers in his hand.

"Thank you I think," Giles said warily, "helping yourself to my scotch I see"

"After tonight I needed it" Spike said taking a healthy sip from his glass, "those wankers say anything after I left?" he asked watching Giles as he moved to sit on his desk.

"They asked if she wanted pizza and Willow was wounded that Dawn told them to stay away from her" Giles said darkly as he sipped at his tea. He really wanted to join Spike in a drink but he knew that was more habit than a real need for one.

"Fucking pizza, like that's gonna make it all better" Spike said angrily then he smirked a little, "always knew lil' bit had bite to her, good for her" Spike said proudly.

"You can stay here until I get my door fixed if you like" Giles said "I'm going back to Buffy as soon as I can"

"How's she doing?" Spike asked looking over at him as he stood and put his cup in the sink.

"Honestly, I don't know" Giles said as he crossed his arms and leant against the wall, "she can smile so there is hope but she seems to be afraid of being alone"

"Digging your way outta your coffin will do that to ya mate" Spike said with a wince.

"You knew"

"Saw her hands back at the manor" Spike said with a shrug.

"Yes well, she still has some of her injuries from the fall as well" Giles said with a sigh and a surprised glance at the vampire. Spike continuously surprised him with his ability to act like a human being.

"I reckon I could kill a couple of 'em before my chip takes me out ya know" Spike said darkly and Giles chuckled.

"Why don't we wait and see what they have to say for themselves before we resort to violence hmm?" he said making his way over to his stairs.

"Buzz kill" Spike said into his glass, grinning at Giles' chuckle.

Giles wasted no time when he reached his bedroom and stripped off his bloody shirt and trousers, dumping them in his laundry basket before heading to his closet. He pulled out a pair of sweats and roughly pulled them on before grabbing a bag and shoving a couple of pairs of jeans and a sweater into it as he moved over to his chest of drawers. He pulled out a couple of t-shirts, a few pairs of boxers, socks and some pyjama pants, adding them to the bag as well.

He pulled on a t-shirt and his comfortable, baggy, old grey sweater then walked back downstairs to see Spike flicking through the channels on his television. Walking past him he headed into his bathroom for his toothbrush, dropping it into his toiletry bag along with his shampoo, shaking his head and tutting to himself when he remembered he had a bottle of body wash under the sink.

He walked back into the living room to see Spike adding more whisky to his glass and decided to ignore it. He walked over to his desk and pulled out his journals, sliding them into his bag as he made his way over to his bookcase and quickly looked over the titles before pulling out the compendium of resurrection spells and the encyclopedia of dark rites and rituals.

"Never had you pegged for that kinda shit Watcher" Spike said over his shoulder making him jump.

"Don't do that" he admonished as he pulled The Hobbit and Alice in Wonderland from his other bookcase. At Spikes raised eyebrow he blushed and looked down at his bag as he zipped it closed, "Buffy sometimes used to like me to read them to her after a patrol, I'm hoping they will be able to give her the same comfort now"

"Fair enough but Alice in Wonderland? Really?" he asked sceptically as he made his way back over to the sofa, "Old Carroll was tripping when he wrote that, mushrooms I reckon, bloody strong ones too for him to come up with talking caterpillars".

"I can't imagine why the tale of a normal girl thrust into a world of fantastical creatures only to return to her normal, somewhat boring life would be appealing to her, can you?" he asked sarcastically as he sat at his desk and pulled on his sneakers, "and as for the other books I'm taking, they contain no actual spells, only information on the types that exist and the dangerous and rare ingredients that one might need, I'm hoping to find the one Willow used as I doubt very much that she will tell me herself"

"Alright keep your knickers on, just asking" Spike said with his hands in the air and a smirk on his face, "got any strong binding spells, have a feeling ya gonna need 'em for Red"

"We'll see" Giles said taking his coat from the rack by the door, "I'll be at Buffys, stay out of my bedroom" he said then pulled his broken door closed, sighing at the state of the lock knowing it was going to be expensive to get it repaired.

Maybe I can get Xander to fix it for me he thought as he dropped his bag and coat into the back seat of his car, might even ask him to bring me some jellies from that donut shop he frequents. He smiled to himself as he started the car.

He made two stops on his way back. One to the Magic Box to pick up some candles to cast a warm glow instead of the harsh glare of the lamps and incense that could be used to help lull someone into an easy slumber. The second stop was to Buffys grave to see if they had left any spell ingredients behind which might point him to the spell Willow had used to resurrect Buffy.

Grimacing, he swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat when he saw the hole she had crawled out of and the gouges in the earth that must have been made by her fingers as she pulled her way free. Forcing himself to look away he crouched down at the foot of her grave as he looked around himself at the ground and saw the three black candles discarded near the headstone. As he stood up and took a step towards them he kicked a piece of crockery that had been lying hidden in the grass.

Crouching down again he picked it up and turned it over in his hands, looking at the markings with his torch. He looked around for more pieces and found enough that he knew what it had been before it had been broken. He stood up and angrily threw the pieces in the direction of the woods, his fists clenched by his side while he stalked back to his car, doing his best to control the urge to let Ripper loose.

He circled the block around her house three times before he deemed himself calm enough to actually go in. He parked at the curb, taking the time for a few deep breaths before he climbed out of the car. He had just retrieved his bag when the screaming started.

"What the bloody hell…." he muttered as he ran into the house.

"Dawn let me in I can help her" he heard Willow shout followed by banging on the door.

"No you've done enough!" Dawn shouted back over Buffy's screaming.

"That's not fair I saved her!" Willow shouted back indignantly.

Giles ran up the stairs and straight to Buffys door, "Willow it's alright, I'll deal with it" he said over what sounded like a wounded animal screaming in fear. His heart clenched painfully in his chest when he realised that it was Buffy.

Tara sagged in relief at his appearance and pulled on Willows arm, "Come back to bed Willow, Mr Giles will help her" she said in her soft voice.

"But I can cast a..." Willow said desperately, looking back at her.

"No Willow, no more spells!" Tara said sharply making Giles blink at her in surprise, "Look, Mr Giles has some supplies from the Magic Box" she said pointing out the bag.

"Candles and incense. Lavender, Sandalwood, Jasmine, Chamomile" Giles said looking down at the bag. The sound of Buffy's door being unlocked behind him registered and he glanced quickly at Willow seeing her mouth thin with anger, "I'm hoping to help her relax enough that she'll not dream" he continued.

"Oh ok, well if you need a hand let me know" Willow said eyeing him as if he couldn't manage a simple spell on his own.

Giles just nodded at her, biting his tongue on the angry outburst that he wanted to direct at her, and slipped into Buffy's room. He looked at Dawn sitting next to Buffy, their arms tightly around each other as Buffy sobbed, "What happened?" he asked dropping everything on the trunk at the foot of her bed.

"Nightmare I think" Dawn said softly, looking frightened as Buffy pulled back and looked up at Giles.

"Dawn would you get me the Magic Box bag please?" he asked her as he took her place at Buffy's side, gently rocking her, "and in my bag is Alice in Wonderland if you could bring me that as well"

Dawn unzipped his bag and looked at the books that were in there, pulling out the one he wanted and handed it to him along with the Magic Box bag. He shifted Buffy back into a prone position against her pillows then handed Dawn a small cloth packet he pulled out of the bag.

"Take this to your room Dawn, it will help you fall asleep" he said smiling kindly at her, "you need to sleep" he said softly when she opened her mouth to protest, "I promise you that I'll not leave her side, she's in good hands"

"I know that it's just, well, maybe you should shower first before you get comfy" she said wrinkling her nose at him. They both looked down in surprise when they heard Buffy giggle quietly.

"And you agree do you?" Giles asked looking down at her with a grin.

"I didn't wanna say anything" Buffy sniffed, "but yeah" she was still crying but her eyes lit briefly with a spark of her old teasing self and he smiled at her.

"Well if both of you agree on this then I must truly be giving off a fetid stench" he said looking between them.

"Huh?" they both said in unison.

He rolled his eyes unable to stop the grin that spread across his face, "I smell" he told them simply.

"Well why didn't you just say that" Dawn said as she crawled up the bed behind Buffy while she giggled silently at him, "go shower" she said waving him off.

"If I must" he said in a put upon voice, "but while I am will you put a few sticks of incense on the dresser and the candles by the bed please Dawn"

"No magic!" Buffy said loudly, startling them by sitting up and gripping his arm.

"Ssh Buffy, there's no magic in them, it's just to help you sleep easier" he said rubbing the hand that had gripped his arm.

"Oh, ok then" she said letting him go and dropped back down.

Giles watched as Dawn slid back off the bed while he was retrieving his wash bag and pyjama pants then slid out of her room. He showered and brushed his teeth quickly in his rush to get back to Buffy.

When he slipped back into her room she was still lying on her side facing her open window. The candles, now lit, flickering in the breeze that was blowing through the room, the smoke from the incense curling and twisting in the air. Dawn looked up from where she was sat at Buffy's head, gently stroking her hair as she hummed that same lullaby from the car. Buffy looked over her shoulder at him and smiled softly,

"Feel better?" she asked.

"Yes actually, now it's time for Dawn to go off to bed" he said giving her a look that brooked no argument.

"Fine" she huffed and shuffled off the bed, lifting the sachet from where she had left it on the dresser. She stopped at the door and looked back at them as Giles sat on the comfy chair he had pulled next to the bed, "You will be here when I wake up won't you?" she asked Buffy, her voice shaking with emotion.

Buffy looked over at her and smiled kindly at her, "I'm not going anywhere" she said in a whisper and watched as Dawn nodded and reluctantly walked away.

Giles got up and shut her door before sitting back in the chair and opening the book, looking up when he heard Buffy hiss in pain. He saw her shuffling back towards the middle of her bed and for a moment panic gripped his heart. Did she not want him near her after all?

He huffed out a relieved breath when she patted the spot she had just vacated, "Please Giles" she said when she saw his hesitation, "I don't know why but I need you close" she continued, "When I first...woke up, I knew I had to get to you, that I needed you," she paused and looked up at him, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "I feel better, safer, with you here"

He still hesitated for a few seconds before he lifted himself out of his chair and lay on the bed next to her. She immediately lifted her head and placed it on his chest, rubbing her cheek over his heart. He sucked in a breath and lifted his hand to her head.

"Will you be telling Dawn where you were?" he asked in a whisper.

"Not yet" she whispered back, "let her get used to me being back before I upset her with that"

"And the others?" he asked looking down at her head when she shook it violently,"alright we won't tell them" he said soothingly as he rubbed her back. He wanted to ask her about her dream but thought that now wasn't the time.

He opened the book and began to read, continuing after she fell asleep until he too gave into his exhaustion.

Giles opened his eyes in the morning, blinking in confusion at the unfamiliar ceiling and looked down to find Buffy still wrapped around him, sleeping soundly. He smiled down at her, pressing his lips to her head for a second before gently sliding out from under her, hoping that she would stay asleep.

He quietly opened her door and silently padded down the hallway to use the bathroom. She had only woken once more during the night but didn't scream out like she had done earlier in the evening. Once he had taken care of his screaming bladder he bent to remove the first aid case he had put under the sink the night before, taking it, along with the disinfectant, back to her room knowing he would need to change her dressing when she woke up.

He opened her door and deposited them on the vanity table before backing out and heading downstairs for a bowl of boiled water. He was rubbing tiredly at his face when he pushed open the door to the kitchen, jumping in surprise when he saw them all sitting around the island quietly eating pancakes and waffles.

Deciding to just ignore them he lifted the kettle and found that it was more than half full, touching the side told him that it had recently boiled so he removed a small mixing bowl from the cupboard and filled it halfway. Putting it to the side, he turned to Dawn as he pulled a few sheets of kitchen towel from the roll,

"Did you sleep Dawn?" he asked her aware of the strained silence from the others but having no energy to deal with it.

"Yeah that thing you gave me helped a lot" she said, cutting into a waffle fairly dripping in syrup.

"Good I'm glad," he said with a smile, turning back to the bowl.

"How's Buffy?" Willow asked him and he gripped the side as the anger he had felt bubbling beneath the surface roared to life, his shoulders hunched as he took a deep breath tempering his urge to release Ripper.

"How do you think she is?" he asked her in an angry whisper, "Tell me Willow, in all your seemingly meticulous planning, did you ever once think about where she would be resurrected? Or did you think she would just pop into existence in front of you?"

"What? I don't understand?" she said but he heard Xander gasp and looked at him from the corner of his eye, seeing movement as he clamped a hand over his mouth.

"She had to dig her way out of her own grave you stupid girl" he said through gritted teeth, ignoring the gasps from the girls, "not only that but she still has some of her injuries from when she fell from the tower so again I ask, how do you think she is?"

"Giles I, I didn't think, I.." Willow stammered turning a shade paler as she realised what she had done.

"No you didn't think!" Giles shouted slamming a fist into the work surface, he turned to face her, his eyes flashing with the rage they had seen in him last night and Willow shrank back under the force of his glare.

After a few seconds he took a deep breath and turned to Dawn, "Would you mind saving some of that for us when you're finished please?" he asked her gesturing to the mound of food on the table, "I'll see if I can coax Buffy down after I've changed her dressings".

"Sure, no problem" Dawn said still happily eating away, glad that he had finally let Willow have it, "I'll make you some tea too, and save you a couple of donuts, obviously" she said smiling up at him when his lips twitched.

"Thank you Dawn" he said carefully lifting the bowl and carrying it from the kitchen.

"What have we done?" Xander asked brokenly as tears fell from his lashes.

"Fucked up beyond belief" Dawn said ignoring the shocked looks from Tara and Willow as she stuffed another forkful of waffle into her mouth.

Tara glanced at Willow from the corner of her eye and flinched inwardly at the anger she saw on her face as she looked at the door Giles had just walked through. The bad feeling she had felt the night before bubbling up again.