Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Rating: M
What If
Chapter 5
"Buffy, you can stop now" Giles said as she stepped away from him after settling him on her bed.
"Stop what?" she asked, still grinning as she pulled out some shorts and a vest from her drawer.
"Stop being strong" he said gently and she froze.
"I can't" she whispered.
He reached out and caught her hand, pulling her towards him, "Yes you can, with me you can" he said as he pulled her down next to him.
She shook her head, "No Giles I can't, I can't stop because…"
"Because you want to stand on your own?" he said squeezing her hand when she nodded, "Buffy, everyone needs to have somebody they can lean on when they need it"
The tears started then and she let him draw her against his side for a second before pulling away, "I need to shower" she sniffed, "I'll be back"
Giles watched her go with a sigh. He stood and took the long cooks matches from the top drawer in Buffy's desk where he had left them. He pulled one out and struck it against the touch paper, touching it to the candle wicks as he passed them, whispering an incantation in Greek under his breath.
Once he was done he lit the incense, pushing them into the holders. He slipped his sweater off and unbuttoned his jeans before opening the drawer that had become his and pulling out a pair of pyjama bottoms. He quickly changed and retrieved Buffy's other gift and a book from his bag and settled into bed to wait for Buffy to take up her usual position.
She gasped when she opened her door, her eyes glittering in the candlelight as she looked around at what he had done, realising that it wasn't the scent from the candles but the soft, warm glow from the flames that had helped her to sleep before, "Is it safe to sleep with this many candles lit?" she asked him as she moved towards the bed.
"They're spelled to just melt the wax," he said shutting the book and removing his glasses, "won't even burn paper if you hold it to the flame"
"Cool, what's this?" she asked picking up a box from her pillow, holding it up to her ear and giving it a shake as she lifted her cover and sat next to him.
"I hope you like it" he said and she grinned at him.
She pulled at the ribbon and let it fall to the quilt. She lifted the lid and her grin widened, "It's beautiful Giles" she said lifting out a silver charm bracelet.
She dropped the box and stretched the bracelet between her fingers to look at the charms he'd already added. There was a butterfly, a snowflake, a tea pot, a heart with a little green gem in it, a turtle and a book.
"A tea pot?" she asked looking up at him with a confused frown.
"It, it's a symbol for the mad hatters tea party..."
"From Alice in Wonderland" she finished, laughing happily, "They're all my favourite things, thank you" she said giving him a hug.
"You are very welcome" he said blushing furiously. He watched her put the bracelet on her night stand then leant back when she leaned over him to drop the box and ribbon in the bin on his side of the bed.
"Can we talk now Buffy?" he asked once he had gotten control of his heart rate.
"You mean Spike didn't tell you everything?" she asked, smirking when he guiltily dropped his gaze, "He's not very good at the personal stuff ya know, sounded too much like he was reading from a script"
"Yes well, I knew you would hide things from me" he said lifting his arm when she leaned into his side.
"I didn't want you to worry" she said rubbing her cheek over his chest as she got comfortable, "not while you were dealing with the council"
"But I will always worry about you love" he said, his lips brushing against her hair, "and from what I've seen with my own eyes he was right when he said you were drowning trying to make them believe you're ok"
She tensed against him for a second before she blew out a shuddering breath, "I didn't think anyone had noticed" she said shakily then buried her face in his chest, the tears that she had halted before her shower burst out of her, the dam having finally broke.
"Dawn saw it as well," he said as he gently rubbed her back, "and I saw it tonight in the way Willow blatantly used your 'fake gratitude', as Dawn calls it, to try and manipulate you but that stops now"
"Don't" she managed, pushing herself up and reaching for a tissue to blow her nose, "This is why I can't let you be my shield anymore, why I have to face it"
"But you don't have to face it alone, what's wrong with letting me help you?" he asked her, watching as she shifted around until she was sitting facing him, her legs crossed.
"Nothing Giles, absolutely nothing and I know I'm not alone, but outside of this room I have to be Dawns mother, I have to somehow find the money to feed us and make sure we have a roof over our heads…."
"Ah, about that" he said cutting her off, "I have arranged for the council to start paying you the Slayers wage that you should have started to receive on your twentieth birthday, should only take a few weeks to put everything in place"
She blinked at him slowly before a grin spread across her face, "So the council are gonna pay me to Slay?" she asked, doing a happy little shimmy bounce when he nodded, "That is such a relief, I thought I'd have to start robbing vampires before I staked them"
"You still haven't told me why I can't stand beside you, helping you with everything you have to face" he reminded her.
"I didn't say you couldn't do that I said you can't shield me from it anymore" she said picking at the cover over her legs.
"So in this room you will drop the shield you wear for everyone else and let me in?"
"In your flat too" she said glancing at him quickly before looking back down a slight blush to her cheeks "I uh, I kinda hid out there with Dawn one night"
"Did it help with the nightmares?" he asked her wondering if his scent would have worked like his presence seemed to.
She shook her head, "No I still woke up screaming, poor Dawn," she said shifting around to lay at his side again, "I might let her stay at Janice's place this weekend so she has a break from all the wackiness that seems to follow me around"
"That will be good for her" he said distractedly, lost in her scent and the feel of her body moulded against his, "Buffy I," he cleared his throat nervously. He hadn't planned on doing this today but he had missed her more than he wanted to admit and he wasn't entirely sure he would be able to mask his feelings for her much longer, "I wanted to say something to you but I, uh, I don't want you to feel like you should respond..."
He was cut off by her lips touching his and he jerked back in surprise. He looked at her smiling face and watched as she blushed and started to pull away, the smile slipping from her face.
"Oh god, I thought that you were trying to...I'm sorry, I'll just..." she stopped when he grabbed her hand.
"I love you Buffy" he whispered, "I have for a long time but I didn't realise just how much until you died"
"I knew after Mom died" she whispered back, mesmerised by the way his eyes had become brighter, "I love you too"
The smile that broke out on his face would have shamed the dawn and before she could lose herself in the way his eyes lit up he was kissing her only this time he pulled her so close she could feel the heat from his skin even through their t-shirts.
She let her hands move down over his ribs and curl around his back pulling herself against him as his hand slowly travelled down her back. She wanted him closer so she curled her leg around him as well, moaning when he grabbed her ass and pushed against her.
He rolled her onto her back and moved his kisses along her jaw and down her throat, grinning when she shuddered after he nipped at her collarbone. She lost herself in his touch, the feel of his skin against hers as layers were peeled away, the way his mouth moved over her as if he already knew where she liked to be touched.
Never before had she felt this way, cherished as well as desired, and when he moved himself into position she flipped him so she could return the favour. She found and exploited all of the places that made him shudder and groan, using her lips, teeth, tongue and hands to drive him to the edge. She giggled when he grabbed her arms and hauled her back up to his mouth, not quite able to believe how alive she felt with him.
They lay there afterwards, a sweaty gasping heap. Her bones felt like they had been liquefied but she didn't care.
"I think we should lock ourselves in your apartment when Dawns at her friends house" she said when she could finally talk again.
Giles looked at her with a satisfied smile on his face, "Oh and whys that love?"
"I remember seeing handcuffs and silk ropes and other stuff that looked like it could be fun in a box in your closet once" she said rolling on top of him when she heard his breath catch, "always wanted someone to tie me up and spank me" she said with a grin.
"Then I agree to your plan" he said pulling her down for a heated kiss, groaning into her mouth when she moved against him, "Again?"
"Hey I'm not the only one who seems to be ready for round two" she said wiggling over him.
"Am I about to find out first hand just how much stamina a Slayer has?" he asked arching off the bed when her hands brushed roughly down his sides and gripped his backside, sliding herself over him at the same time.
"I don't know, am I going to find out how much stamina Ripper has?" she asked giggling when he pulled her close and flipped her over again.
"Is that a challenge love? Coz I think you'll find I'm more than 'up' for it" he said slipping back into the east London accent he used in his youth.
It was a little before two when they finally wore themselves out and fell asleep twisted around each other.
When Buffy woke it was to the feel of Giles pressed against her back, one of his arms was under her head and the other was wrapped tightly around her waist. She sighed happily and relaxed into him, trailing a hand up and down his forearm.
"Morning love" he mumbled sleepily a few minutes later then rolled onto his back, scratching at his chest.
"Morning honey" she said with a grin rolling over and propping her head on her hand to look at him, trailing her fingers over his stomach.
"Hmm" he intoned grabbing for her hand to stop it's exploration. He flattened it over his heart and smiled at her, "Have you thought about what to tell them?"
"With the noise we made last night they've probably already figured it out" she whispered, leaning down to give him a kiss, teasing him with a few light brushes of her lips before sitting back.
"I put a soundproofing spell around the room last night in case you had another nightmare so the others could get an uninterrupted night" he muttered pulling her back down to lay against him, "They didn't hear a thing"
"So I was trying to be quiet for no reason" she said pushing herself up to stare at him incredulously.
"That was you being quiet?" he asked with a wide grin. He pulled her against him and kissed her soundly. He pulled back and looked at her with a wicked gleam in his eyes, "I'd love to see how loud I can make you scream love"
"Uh huh, sure" she agreed dreamily with her eyes closed.
Chuckling he lay back with a sigh, Buffy's foot travelling up and down his lower leg under the blanket, her knee brushing over his thigh.
"You want scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast?" she asked him a few minutes later.
"I'm cooking you breakfast this morning love" he said nudging her head with his shoulder so she lifted it. He pushed himself up and swung his legs over the bed.
"Really? That's so sweet" she said shifting to her knees and wrapping her arms around him, pressing her face into his neck.
"You can take care of everybody else but I get to take care of you remember?" he said rubbing her arm. He had learned a lot when they had spoken in soft whispers as they lay in each others arms while they caught their breath.
He felt her grin against his neck then bent down and lifted his pyjama pants from the floor. Slipping them on, he stood and retrieved his t-shirt from where it had landed the night before then turned to stare at Buffy who was watching him from the bed.
"Are you going to join me downstairs love?" he asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise when she flung the covers back and stood up naked.
"Give me a sec" she said and opened her drawers. She found and pulled on a pair of panties and a pair of sweats from her wardrobe. She walked towards him as she pulled her vest on and laughed at his look of surprise.
"I never knew you could get dressed so quickly" he told her with a grin.
"Only when I have to" she said winding her arms around his neck.
"Good to know" he whispered against her mouth before pressing his lips to hers for a quick kiss, "Come on then, let's get you fed"
Smiling she took his hand and let him lead her from the room.
No one else was up, being Sunday the others were obviously taking the chance to catch up on all the sleep they had lost in the past week, so they had the kitchen to themselves. Buffy sat at the table and watched as he moved around the kitchen making her breakfast, tutting and forcing her to sit back down whenever she tried to help. He handed her a glass of juice and put a carafe full of coffee in front of her before turning back to the stove to flip the pancakes and stir the eggs.
"I love you" she said out of the blue, smiling widely when she saw his shy smile that she had always thought was so cute.
"And I love you" he said leaning over the table to give her a quick kiss.
He went back to finishing plating their breakfasts and handed her a plate full of scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon. He put a plate of toast in the middle of the table along with a plate of fresh, sliced fruit and sat down next to her with his own plate of scrambled eggs and bacon.
"Thank you honey" she said groaning around a forkful of pancakes, strawberries and syrup, "S'good"
"I'm glad you like it" he said leaning forward and stealing her next forkful of pancake.
She giggled against his lips when he leaned forward and gave her a syrupy kiss.
"Oh gross" Dawn said stumbling into the kitchen.
They jumped apart and looked over at her guiltily, "Good morning Dawn, there's some pancakes on a plate in the microwave if you want some" Giles said lifting his tea cup to his lips.
"Uh uh, don't try and distract me with food, what did I just walk in on?" she asked looking at both of them with a stern look that reminded Buffy of their mother.
"Well, uh, Giles and I have, uh, redefined our relationship" she said dropping her head and tucking into her eggs.
"Really?" Dawn asked her eyes flicking between them, "Finally" she said at their twin nods and laughed when their mouths dropped open in shock, "Oh come on, like I haven't seen his coming"
"So you don't mind?" Buffy asked her, the piece of bacon in her hand stopped halfway to her mouth.
"Why would I mind?" Dawn asked getting the pancakes out of the microwave, "I'm happy for you guys, as long as I don't have to watch the two of you making with the PDAs coz, gross" and she gagged for emphasis.
"Yeah, well, tough, PDAs are pretty much a given" Buffy said smiling at Giles who had taken her hand and was kissing her fingertips.
"Aww that's sweet, please stop" Dawn said rolling her eyes when Buffy leant in to Giles.
"What's sweet?" Willow asked around a yawn as she pushed her way into the kitchen.
"Buffy and Giles making with the smoochies" Dawn said pouring syrup over the bananas on her pancakes.
Willow stared wide eyed at Buffy feeding Giles a slice of bacon with her fingers and dropped onto a stool when he kissed her, "How long has this been going on?" she asked them.
Buffy twisted on her stool to look at the clock, her face tilted to stare at the ceiling for a second then looked back at Willow with a grin on her face, "About twelve hours give or take" she said pushing the plunger on the carafe and pouring her coffee.
"So you weren't before?" she asked still staring wide eyed at the couple in front of her.
"Nope" Buffy said before shoving another forkful of pancakes in her mouth.
"Have you only felt this way about him since I brought you back?" she asked watching Giles feed Buffy a strawberry, her eyes widening when Buffy lightly sucked the tip of his finger.
Buffy sighed and levelled a glare at her, "I loved him before I died Will so get the idea that this is some kind of grateful reaction to his taking care of me out of your head right now"
"Oh, ok" she said then smiled warmly at them, "I'm happy for you guys"
"Thank you Willow" Giles said giving her a small smile before returning his attention to his breakfast.
"Did ya make some breakfast for me and Tara Buff?" Willow asked standing and going over to the fridge for some juice.
"Giles cooked for me and Dawn" Buffy said between mouthfuls, her appetite having returned with gusto now that she had less to worry about.
"I didn't know when you would be up" Giles said, "But there is batter for the pancakes in the fridge"
"No worries I can whip up some pancakey goodness for me and Tara" she said with a smile, "Did you decide what to do about the pipes Buff?"
"Ah, yes the pipes" Giles said laying his knife and fork across his empty plate, "Do you have, Tito was it?" he asked looking at the girls, at their nods he continued, "Do you have Tito's estimate to hand, I can take care of that today"
Buffy shook her head "No Giles, I can't let you..."
"You can and you will" Giles said rubbing her arm, "If it makes you feel any better then you can pay me back once the council has started to send your payments"
"Payments? What payments?" Dawn asked sitting up straighter, taking notice of the conversation now they had unstuck their faces from each other.
"The Slayer receives a wage, for want of a better term, if, or when, she reaches the age of twenty" Giles said standing and taking his and Buffy's plates to the sink, "Since Buffy has yet to receive hers I brought it up to the chairman while I was at the council, she should start to receive monthly payments once the paperwork has cleared"
"Way to go Giles!" Dawn cried clapping happily a huge smile on her face.
"So Travers is going to do something for Buffy that makes her life easier?" Willow asked looking dumbfounded, "How the Hell did that happen?"
"I didn't give him much of a choice actually," Giles said smirking at Buffy who was giggling behind her hand, "I went over his head to the chairman of the board and he started the ball rolling"
"Morning guys" Tara said pushing her way into the kitchen, "Something smells good"
"Giles cooked me breakfast" Buffy said slapping his hands away from the dishes when he started to run the tap to fill the sink, "No, you cooked I wash up" she said pushing herself in front of him.
Tara watched as Giles wrapped his arms around her and kissed her shoulder. She looked over at Dawn with a raised eyebrow and smiled happily when Dawn grinned at her with a nod. She looked at Willow and found her watching them with a shocked but puzzled expression on her face. Smiling kindly at her she put her arm around her and kissed her cheek to get her attention. Willow looked at her and smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before opening the fridge and removing the bowl with the pancake batter in it.
"Hey Dawn?" Buffy called as she scrubbed the pan that had had the eggs in, "What do you think about staying the weekend at Janice's?"
"Really?" she answered rushing over and gripping Buffy's arm, "Wait are you just trying to get rid of me so you guys can get groiny without me in the house?" she asked narrowing her eyes at them.
"Nope just thought you might like a break from all the weirdness but if you don't want to…." Buffy trailed off with a smirk when Dawn gripped her arm tighter.
"No! No I want to!" she said eagerly then squealed and ran off, "I'm gonna call Janice and ask if it'll be ok" she shouted back over her shoulder.
"That was easy" Buffy said looking over her shoulder at Giles who was still standing behind her, watching her wash up.
"Let's just hope this week goes as smoothly" he said giving her a wicked grin, "I'm going to have a shower and contact Xanders friend then go back to my flat to see what state Spike has left it in" he said pushing off the table where he had been standing.
"Oh I wouldn't worry about that" Buffy said smiling secretively.
"Yeah Buffy kicked him out when she went round there last week" Willow said sliding a pancake out of the pan and on to Tara's plate, "She tidied up and opened the windows too"
"You didn't have to do that love" he said winding his arms around her waist again.
"I really did" she said wrinkling her nose, "after what I walked in on I had the urge to fumigate the place" she hummed low in her throat and leant back against him, "I washed the sheets and scrubbed the couch down after taking the key back from him"
"Do I want to know what you walked in on?" he asked in a low voice and she could feel his grin against her neck, "And would it give me any ideas for how we can spend our weekend?".
"Like you need help to come up with any ideas" she said turning in his arms, pushing her hands up his chest until she clasped them behind his head.
"So you are gonna be spending the weekend together" Willow said suddenly and Buffy blushed, she'd forgotten they weren't alone in the kitchen.
"It's one of many possibilities we talked about last night" Giles said kissing Buffy's forehead before leaving her to finish the washing up.
"So Buff…anything good happen last night?" Willow asked, wriggling her eyebrows with a grin.
"Nothing I'm gonna tell you about that's for sure" Buffy replied, blushing as she turned back to the sink.
"That bad huh. S'ok he had been on a plane for like eleven hours and he'd just been beaten up, maybe next time it'll be better" Willow said as she cut into a pancake.
Buffy sighed and turned to face her, "Actually Will we did it three times if you really need to know so if that's him on a bad day then I can't wait to see what he has planned for me on a good day" she smirked at her shocked face for a second before turning back to the sink.
"Sorry Buff I, I didn't mean to, ya know, I just thought..."
"I know what you thought but it doesn't matter" Buffy muttered as she shook a plate before setting it on the drainer, "Am I still ok to audit with you guys tomorrow?"
"Sure Buffy, we'll switch off during the day if you'd like, give you a chance to sit in on different classes" Tara said softly casting a worried glance at Willow.
"Yeah that does sound good," she said wiping the cutlery before putting it on the drainer, "I'm going stir crazy just sitting around the house all day I mean once the houseworks done there really isn't anything else to do"
"You could come work for me if ya like Buffster" Xander said from behind her and she turned to grin at him.
"I might just do that Xand, thanks" she smiled at him as she dried her hands on the dish towel, "Help yourself to whatever you want and, hey where's Anya?" she asked looking at Xander with concern.
"She's talking shop with Giles" Xander said as he set about making waffles.
"Excellent he hasn't showered yet" Buffy said with a grin, "Wash up after yourselves" she called over her shoulder as she pushed open the kitchen door.
A few seconds later Anya entered looking annoyed, "What's up Ahn?" Xander asked her.
"Giles would rather have sex with Buffy in the shower than talk to me about the shipment of Draconis amulets that are late" she grumbled dropping onto a stool.
Xander who had just taken a mouthful of juice coughed and spluttered at Anya's comment, "Oh God that must be what drowning feels like but more importantly," he turned to Anya ignoring Willow and Tara's giggles, "what did you say Giles would rather do?"
"Have sex with Buffy in the shower" Anya said slowly, "Are you deaf? Not that I blame him, sex in the shower is pleasant, I like it when Xander puts his hand on..."
"Oh my God! Giles and Buffy?" Xander said wide eyed as he looked around the room, "Took 'em long enough and yeah ok Buffy's been all traumatised but I thought she would have made a move on him last week before he left"
"Wait you saw this coming too? Was I the only one who didn't know?" Willow asked looking like she was annoyed that she hadn't seemed to notice.
"You were the only one who thought he was manipulating her into being close with him, does that make you feel better?" Anya asked bluntly, completely unaffected by the glare Willow threw her.
"Hey guys, oh Xan, you still ok to take me to school tomorrow?" Dawn asked when she walked into the kitchen.
"Sure Dawnster, pick you up usual time?" he asked her, picking up a banana and peeling it.
"Yep, thanks" she said with a grin.
"Weren't you going to do your homework in your room today?" Willow asked her as she transferred her and Tara's plates to the sink.
"That was the plan but they just turned the shower on and I really don't wanna catch the audio of what they're about to do" she said shuddering for emphasis.
"Eeww" Xander and Willow said together.
A low groan echoed over their heads making them all look up, "Argh ick," Xander said covering his ears.
"I can take care of this" Willow said with a grin then closed her eyes, took a deep breath then looked up at the ceiling and muttered an incantation under breath. The next sound was cut off and Willow looked around her at the others smiling happily, "That should last for an hour, just don't go upstairs before that and we should be good"
Tara and Xander exchanged a worried glance before striking up a conversation with their significant others. Dawn, having seen the whole thing, frowned at them. Spike was right, Willow was starting to use magic for everything and judging by the looks Tara and Xander had given each other Giles and Spike weren't the only ones worried about it.