Chapter 4

The Disaster Clarinest

French Narrator: "Ze Next Day"

Location: The Krusty Krab

The Krusty Krew and Plankton await the kids arrival. Squidward tries yet again to play jazz music on the clarinet

"Mr. Squidward. Put away that garbage or I'll use your clarinet as a toilet plunger!" the krab warns him, which finally terrifies The Disaster Clarinest.

"Oh, look. A parent!" SpongeBob stares at the window and yells in excitement. "Hold on. How can a parent have 10 kids these days?"

"Yeah. The economy sunk 1500 points last night" a cynical Squidward acknowledges.

"Also, why'd the parents have to accompany them?" a confused, old-fashioned Mr. Krabs asks. "Last time, the children came unsupervised"

"The ocean has become a cruel, filthy, and dangerous place" Squidward cynically comments. "The crime rate has spiked, and fish keep choking on plastic that those 6-feet fish on the surface dump into the ocean!"

"Nonsense" the optimistic sponge dismisses the thought; the parent and 10 kids enter through the suggestive lobster trap via the front door.

"Welcome to the Krusty Krab: Sir, Madame, and money...I mean children!" Mr. Krabs greets the parents. "You have so many lovely kids"

"Oh. We only have one kid" the dad explains. "The other parents nearby didn't have time to supervise their kids. So, we volunteered"

"Well that's unfortunate" SpongeBob comments. "Anyways, we'll take care of your children. So, no need to be worried"

"Yeah, don't worry" Mr. Krabs reassures them, but not without mimicking a gaffe machine. "We'll take care of your money...I mean the children!"

"No. We still wanna see Krabby Universe!" the mother insists. "After all, you did scam us with Krabby Land all those years ago"

"Oh. This isn't a scam" Mr. Krabs admits with a change of heart. "I learned me lesson"

Location: Back of The Krusty Krab

"Young man, what's your name?" Mr. Krabs asks one of the kids.

"Monroe II"

Mr. Krabs picks the kid up and laughs: "Nice to meet you, Monroe II"

"WHEE!" the kid cheers. The krab shakes Monroe II in search of loose change sound. "Huh, where's your money?"

"On my card?"

"Kids have cards these days?"

"Yeah. We just charge it on the plastic"

"Mr. Squidward! Take SpongeBob with you to the store and buy me a card reader!"

"Do I have to?"

"Do it or you'll never work here again!"

"That'd be a dream come true: To make something of my life and never set foot in this greasetrap again!"

"If you're fired, there's no severance pay"

"UGH! Fine, I'll take this yellow nitwit with me!" he reluctantly agrees and drags the sponge along for the oh-so exciting journey to the electronics store.

"Ok, money. I mean, err...children. It's time for the grand unveiling of... money! I mean, Krabby Universe!"

The kids cheer.

"Okay, kids, now promise Grandpa Krabs that if you get hungry while you're playing, you'll come inside for some delicious, nutritious Krabby Patties.

"We promise!"

The mother complains: "You expect my kids to eat that garbage! Krabby Patties are a heart attack on a bun!"

Plankton rants: "Krabby Patties don't cause heart attacks. You two are just too old to eat Krabby Patties without experiencing health problems!"

The mother glares at him, causing Plankton to shut up for good.

"We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!"

"Please. You're better off eating at the Chum Bucket than the Krusty Krab" the dad comments

"Hey! No actually, come and eat at the Chum Bucket sometime"

"I was being sarcastic. Chum is poison and unethical towards fish-manity"

Mr. Krabs concludes: "Alright, so no Krabby Patties. We do offer salads that're completely CORAL!"

Monroe II corrects him: "Nobody says coral anymore"

"Oof. Then just enjoy playing in Krabby Universe!"

"YAY!" the crowd of 10 kids cheers.

"All right, here we go! I give you...Krabby Universe!" Mr. Krabs announces and then pulls off the sheet that covered the play area. In contrast to last time, the playground's much better and more daring than Krabby Land. SpongeBob hired Sandy to construct the playground and they used old remains from her pre-hibernation week equipment.

"This is so dangerous!" the helicopter mom admits.

"Alright, fine" the krab gives up and continues: "But, we still have the one and only Krabby the Clown!"

The dad objects: "Repulsive!"

"Excuse me?" Mr. Krabs asks, confused.

"Have you not heard about the creepy clown sightings, old man?"

"Ummm...no"

"And a scary clown movie just came out and scared our kids"

"Just don't let your kids watch scary movies!"

"Whatever. Just don't bring a clown"

Mr. Krabs concedes and continues: "Fine. Just have fun and don't forget to eat plenty of salads! A salad a day keeps the clown away!"

The dad asks: "It's so dangerous outside at this excuse of a safe park. How about they go inside?"

"Yes! My beautiful computer wife runs on 576i signal!"

Location: The Krusty Krab

A kid plays the VR game, completely immersed, and ends up hogging the game for 10 minutes. Back in the old days, the kids would impatiently complain. But these days, they just scroll through their sea-phones to pass the time.

An hour passes; their sea-phone battery dies and the kids get bored and lose it: "Hey, quit hogging the game!"

Plankton agrees: "Yeah! Scram, kid!"

The kid agrees and dismissively comments: "Whatever. These 4:3 monitors have such an ugly resolution!"

"Are you insulting my wife?!"

"No. Just said that these monitors are out of fashion!"

"First you call my wife's resolution ugly. Now you call her outdated: Get lost or I will annihilate you!"

"Hey, take a chill pill there!" the mother asks him. "My kid did nothing wrong. He just said the truth"

"Oh, come on. Your kid isn't a perfect snowflake!" Plankton snaps. "He insulted my wife! So, you and your kid can get lost!"

"No, Plankton! What're you doing?!" Mr. Krabs protests until the parent leaves with the other kids following suit.

"Phew. What a relief" Plankton sighs in relief. "We don't need such rude customers"

"What did you do!?" Mr. Krabs yells at him. "You drove away me money!"

"Hey, let's discuss this in your office"

To be continued

1 CHAPTER LEFT