It wasn't how any of them wanted her to find out.
The 'Super-friends' had grown quite fond of the woman with the looks of a medieval heroine and a heart of gold. A woman who fought fiercely everyday, as they all did, to outrun the looming shadows cast by family. They knew that she was the most fragile of them all. For her to discover that she'd been deceived...by them all?!
Alex knew the weight of such a betrayal could shatter the tight-knit group's trust beyond repair.
In fact, it was the one thing she had so vehemently warned her sister about.
That Lena would find out, when least expected, and she would hate them all for it.
Just a tiny slip of the tongue and all they had built would collapse...
None of them could have predicted how easily it could all be lost.
A surly alien had goaded Supergirl out of the DEO with mentions of Fort Rozz and vengeance against her mother. As Alex listened on, her little sister took a hard hit, pained gasps echoing throughout the command center.
"Kara?!" The new director had yelled into her comms, completely unaware that their newest consultant was standing directly behind her. "Kara? Supergirl, do you copy?"
"Oh my god..." A whispered gasp behind her pulled Alex's attention and she turned just in time to see Lena's face freeze in shock and then quickly morph into anger!
"Lena...I...we never wanted you to find out this way..." Alex moved towards the younger woman even as she backed away, green eyes already misting over.
Lena's eyes darted frantically around the command center at the agents collected there, secure in their sameness. Same uniform, the same rank system and most importantly all privy to the same information. In that moment it became even clearer. Despite months of collaboration, it was only she that believed she had finally started to belong.
"I've been a damn fool." Lena stated, chin held high, even as her whole world crumbled around her.
"Lena, please," Alex pleaded with her, arms outstretched and expression beseeching. "Please, let's go to my office and we can talk about this."
"Now you want to talk."
Alex looked as if she'd physically been struck by her words and Lena almost felt sorry for her tone...almost.
"You have every right to be angry. We can talk about this, we can work this out..."
"There's nothing to discuss."
Before Alex could object, a voice over her shoulder called out that Supergirl was incoming with the prisoner and required medical treatment.
"Go, Director. I know my way out."
Lena turned swiftly, her heels carrying her out of the command center just as Kara swooped in. She blew by the superhero without a second glance as she had been doing for months, still sore with her over their differing opinions on the use of Kryptonite. Kara would have known nothing was amiss had Alex not met the hero on the balcony a second later, her mouth drawn in a tight line.
"You messed up kid."
Lena didn't even raise her head as she heard boots land lightly on her balcony. She couldn't talk to her right now, not now, maybe not ever. The footsteps drew closer and she held her breath as the glass doors swung open before the unmistakable primary colors filled her view.
"Was I the only one you left in the dark?" The CEO surprised herself by being the first to speak. She could tell by Kara's sharp intake of breath that she hadn't expected Lena to speak first either.
"Lena..."
"That would be a yes." The young brunette interjected, slamming her pen on the desk as she finally met Kara's eyes. "I suspected, of course, I suspected! But some irrational part of me thought that if it were true, if it was truly you, that you would tell me."
"I wanted to Lena...a hundred times over..." Kara stopped talking as Lena scoffed loudly.
"Yet you found time to tell literally everyone else in your life?"
Lena rose from her chair so fast it slammed into the glass behind her but she paid it no mind focusing instead on the fidgeting alien on the other side of her desk. She fixed Kara with a glare that could have been it's own version of heat vision and the super pulled back even further.
"I know you're angry..."
"You're damn straight I'm angry!" Lena's voice echoed painfully through the spacious office. "But I'm not angry with you..." She dropped her head, eyes focused on her desk even as the tears threatened to spill over. "I'm mad at myself...for believing you...for believing in you."
"Lee," Kara gasped reaching out for her but Lena shrugged her away.
"I loved you." And now the tears were falling, highlighting the otherworldly coloring of those emerald orbs as she stared at Kara with naked honesty. "I loved you more than I should, in ways I knew you would never return but...it was enough...I thought it was enough...I thought it was real..."
"Please, Lena. It was real! All of it...all but this." Kara gestured in frustration to her costume and cape. "Your friendship, your love...means everything to me-"
"Clearly not enough. Just go. I'm sure you have more important places to be...Supergirl."
The last word was voiced with so much venom that Kara could do little more than grant Lena's request, no matter how much it hurt to go. The hero took off into the night sky, tears staining her face, as she listened to the painful wails that expressed Lena's betrayal.
A sharp knock on her front door woke Lena from her vodka-fueled slumber. She clumsily climbed to her feet; shocked to discover she had passed out facedown on her couch, phone dead beneath her, Louboutin's and handbag strewn across the living room floor. It took another round of urgent knocks for her to stumble to the door and wrench it open. She fully expected to lay into Kara once again but stopped short when she recognized her unwanted guest.
"Alex?!" The former agent in question nodded her head lightly, lower lip tugged between her teeth, waiting for Lena to sober up enough to let her in.
"Hey. Can I, uh, can I come in?" The eldest Danvers asked quietly, taking in the younger woman's disheveled appearance.
Lena's dress, rumpled and rolled slightly at the knees, still looked ten times more expensive than Alex's simple tee and jeans. Even with mascara smeared down her cheeks and her normally severe bun beset by flyaways, Lena still exuded elegance. Her expression was a mix between fury and curiosity as she regarded the woman outside her door.
"If you've come to plead her case-"
"What? No! Lena I came to check on you."
"On me?"
It was clear, from the unfocused gaze she fixed Alex with, that Lena had had quite a bit to drink and the agent couldn't really blame her. She gently pushed Lena back into penthouse, closing the door behind them. Wordlessly, she led the distraught woman over to the couch, forced her to sit, then headed into the kitchen in search of a hangover cure. She returned a moment later with a bottle of water and a granola bar.
"You need to drink this." Alex pressed the open bottle into Lena's hand before heading back through the home in search of aspirin for the headache she knew would be building soon.
This time when she returned, Lena was laying back on the couch looking forlorn and slightly nauseated despite having consumed half the water bottle. Alex pressed the aspirin into Lena's open hand and was relieved when the woman immediately brought the hand to her mouth and swallowed the pills, drowning them with a swig from the bottle.
"That should help some." She told her quietly as she shrugged out of her leather jacket, then set about making Lena more comfortable. Alex grabbed a cashmere throw off a nearby armchair and draped it over the younger woman's legs, keenly aware that she was being watched through dark lashes.
"You lied to me." The statement was quiet but seemed to reverberate off the walls.
"I did." Alex agreed with a small nod, sadness pulling her shoulders towards the floor.
"Why?" Lena asked, face open and vulnerable, eyes bright with unshed tears.
"A few reasons..." Alex answered honestly. "But, mostly, because it wasn't my secret to tell."
Lena nodded absently before a thought occurred to her. "What are the other reasons?"
"The main one is probably a force of habit." Alex rubbed the back of her neck nervously. This wasn't Director Danvers talking, this was just Alex. "I've spent my whole life lying. About Kara, about my dad, how I screwed up in college, my job; hell even my sexuality!" She added with a mirthless laugh.
Lena sat up, knowing the older woman was processing what to say next. She fiddled with the edge of the blanket waiting for Alex to continue.
"The truth," Alex finally went on, "the truth is a lot harder to give. Not to mention, Kara's secret, it's a dangerous one. You face so many threats simply because of your family name...Maybe she didn't want you being a target for hers? It's certainly crossed my mind."
"I don't need your protection. Or hers." Lena scowled even though the movement sent her head pounding.
"Oh, I know." The older woman agreed with a small smirk. "I recall you putting a bullet in a certain Kryptonite-powered cyborg to save me."
Lena scoffed, wincing as it once again sent pain shooting through her head. "Corbin wasn't a cyborg at the time..."
"My mistake."
"Indeed." Lena agreed with a smile so tiny Alex almost missed it. "I'm still very angry with you."
"I know."
"And her. Especially her."
"Understandable. I'm not here to rush your forgiveness, just ask for it." Alex explained, serious once more.
"For her?"
"No." Alex answered softly, leaning forward to take Lena's hands gently into her own. "Kara needs to make her own apologies, we all do. I was wrong Lena and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't seem like enough...maybe it isn't. But I'll keep saying it and doing whatever it takes until you believe it. I'm sure everyone else feels the same way."
Lena watched the other woman, her remorse over her actions evident in her bearing. She wanted to yell at Alex, to rage and push the issue but found that she couldn't quite bring herself to do it. She hadn't been a pillar of honesty lately either, as guilty for her lack of candor as any. Lena sighed, taking her hands from Alex to rub her sore temples gently, an effort to stave off her growing migraine.
"Come on." Alex rose to her feet and gently pulled Lena up with her, the throw pooling at their feet. "We're not gonna solve anything tonight and you've drank enough to drown both our sorrows. Let's get you to bed."
The director gently led Lena towards her bedroom, stooping momentarily to toss the throw back on the couch and to place the half-empty vodka bottle on the end table.
"Never would have pegged you for a vodka drinker..." she mused, keeping a steadying hand on Lena's elbow as they weaved down the hallway.
"I don't really like it," Lena confessed with a drunken giggle. "But Kara hates the smell!"
Alex chuckled lightly in disbelief. "You're positively diabolical, Luthor."
She quickly went about helping Lena prepare for bed, easily navigating her way around the loft having spent many a night there while the pair had desperately searched for a cure for Sam. Now even though the Arias' women had left to find some healing, there was still a familiarity between the two women who remained, though strained at the moment. Alex handed Lena a pair of pajamas from a nearby dresser and started turning down the bed while she staggered into the bathroom to change. By the time Lena emerged and collapsed face first into her bed, Alex had dimmed the lights, plugged in her phone and texted Jess that Lena was helping with an FBI investigation and would be out of the office for a few days.
"Stay..." Lena's hand shot out and snagged Alex's wrist as she tucked her in.
"Sure." The older woman responded fondly, noting "drunk Lena" was very similar to "sick Kara"! "Just for a bit." She quickly toed her boots off and settled against the headboard, a soft smile on her face as Lena moved closer to lay her head on the older woman's shoulder.
"I'm still mad at you..." Lena mumbled sleepily, the emotional weight of the day and the vodka finally pulling her under.
"I know, sweetie." Alex sighed, running her hand through Lena's hair soothingly. "Get some sleep. You can still be mad at me in the morning, yeah?"
"Mmm, yeah... Hey Alex?"
Yeah?"
"I miss her."
"Me too." Alex responded sadly, still stroking Lena's hair. Both women knew she was talking about Sam. She had been Lena's best friend and almost Alex's second chance at love.
"I don't want to lose another best friend..." Lena whispered, face slack as she drifted further.
"I won't let that happen." Alex vowed, even though Lena was already snoring softly beside her.
Kara knocked on Lena's door late the next morning, fidgeting with her glasses as she waited, half-expecting no one to answer. She knew Lena had gone home the night before but wasn't sure the younger woman would let her in. After Lena had thrown her out, Kara had flown around the city aimlessly, well into the wee hours of the morning trying to find a way to mend the trust she had shattered.
Then there was the matter of Lena's confession and her reaction to it. Lena loved her, that much she knew. But Kara had been utterly unaware that Lena loved her like that.
Like Alex had loved Maggie. The way her sister had wanted to love Sam before it had all been taken away...again.
If Kara were to lose Lena, to lose that connection, she wasn't sure she could survive it. Just one more way her sister was stronger than she was. She had thought losing Mon-El was the height of agony but it had paled in comparison to the way she'd felt last night.
When Lena had sent her away. When Lena had sent Supergirl away.
The door finally swung open, interrupting her thoughts and she was shocked to find her sister on the other side. She moved to speak but her sister held up her hand to silence her. Alex closed the door softly, shrugged on her jacket and led Kara down the hall before speaking.
"You need to fix this." She demanded, arms crossed over her chest.
"I'm trying..." Kara whined, knowing she sounded childish but uncaring all the same.
"I mean it Kara. I warned you this would happen and you kept making excuses. She needed you, still needs you and you lied to her! Made all of us lie along with you. You. Fix. This. Okay? Because I'm not going to watch you make the same mistake I did. If you love her, don't let her go. Don't let it end like this."
Kara fought back tears as she allowed her sister to lift her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. She could see that her sister was tired and sad and it made her heart ache even more that she kept causing her older sister pain. Alex watched her carefully, letting her words sink in, hoping that Kara had come to the same conclusions she had.
"I'm gonna fix it." Kara finally stated, her voice firm even though tears still fell. "Whatever it takes."
"Good girl." Alex agreed with a small smile as she thumbed Kara's tears away. "I'm not sure what your plan is but 'I'm sorry' is probably a solid starting point."
"Noted." Kara returned her sisters smile. "Thank you for being here for her..."
"Of course." Alex replied sincerely. "I love you. Now get your ass in there and don't come back until that girl knows exactly how you feel!"
"Yes ma'am." Kara agreed as her sister shoved her towards the door. She hesitated for a moment and when she looked over her shoulder found Alex playfully scowling, making shooing motions with her hands, urging her sister on.
Kara nodded, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Lena didn't look up from her spot slumped against the kitchen counter. Her mother would probably have an aneurysm if she saw her sitting in such an undignified manner but Lena couldn't summon the energy to care as she stared morosely into her coffee cup.
Alex had offered to go pickup breakfast at some point earlier that morning but Lena had no way of accounting for how much time had passed since the older girl had left. The loft's other occupant drew ever closer and Lena was completely unprepared to find the wrong Danvers standing before her.
"Bloody hell." She muttered, immediately rising to leave.
"Lena, wait!" The impassioned plea halted her steps but Lena didn't turn around.
"I have nothing more to say to you."
"Okay." Kara whispered, stepping around to face her. "I'd really appreciate it if you just listened for a moment."'
Lena sighed in exasperation. "Kara..."
"Please Lena. I heard everything you said last night and I know I was wrong. I know you deserved better. I can't explain away my behavior-"
"Good. Do be a dear and lock up before you leave." Lena tossed over her shoulder as she moved down the hall.
"I lied because I'm weak!" Kara called out behind her, the sheer desperation in the other woman's voice forced Lena to turn around.
"What?"
"I've spent my whole life on earth hiding. 'Kara Danvers' is a mask I wear to fit in and 'Kara Zor-El' is a ghost of a dead civilization. But with you," Kara moved incrementally closer. "With you I was just 'Kara' and it felt so good to be cared for, to be loved, as that...I was too weak to give it up."
Lena listened closely, the fog from her hangover lifting quickly at the heartfelt confession.
"And then Reign came and I was jealous of Sam and I knew, I knew I was being unreasonable but I didn't stop! I asked James to betray you and I kept pushing you away until it was impossible for me tell you without hurting you!" Kara blurted out all in one breath, desperate to make Lena understand before she was thrown out again.
Lena stood gob smacked in the face of Kara's confession.
"I didn't want to hurt you." Kara continued, tears streaming down her face. " I love you so much...I could never want to hurt you..."
"You...you love me?" Lena managed to choke out in disbelief.
"Rao, so much!" The blonde exclaimed, dropping to her knees before Lena. She wrapped her arms around the other girl's waist, nose pressed into her stomach. "I'm weak, so weak, and you're so strong and so brilliant and I need you so much."
Warm tears seeped through Lena's thin pajama shirt as Kara continued to weep.
"You're so good Lee. Despite your family, despite what people think...I'm in awe of you and I thought I kept you on the dark to protect you but it was a lie..."
"Do you think you're the only one who didn't want things to change?" Lena asked tearfully as she gazed upon Kara on her knees. "Did you think you were the only one torn between identities?"
Kara noted the understanding tone the younger woman used, the tender concern in her eyes. Of course Lena understood her duality. She herself was torn between a fiendish family legacy and her own ideals; her desperate need for redemption in the public eye.
"I suppose we both struggle with honesty..." Lena sighed, running her hands gently along Kara's back as she pulled her closer.
"I'm glad you told me." Kara whispered, face still pressed into Lena's stomach.
"Told you?"
"That you love me." Kara clarified, lifting her eyes to meet Lena's once more. "I love you too Lee. I'm in love with you and I should have said before now, before this."
Lena swallowed the sob bubbling in her throat, felt the warmth of Kara's confession spread throughout her limbs. She grabbed Kara's elbows, guiding her to stand. When the pair were face to face once more, she gently removed the blonde's glasses and set them aside.
"There you are." She whispered against Kara's lips before kissing her softly, reverently.
"Here I am." Kara whispered in return when Lena pulled back with a shy smile.
"We're not done talking about this."
"Okay."
"I'm still angry with you."
"Me or Supergirl?"
"Kara." The young Luthor replied with a smile.
"That's fair." The super agreed before tilting her head mischievously. "Can I still kiss you when you're mad?"
Lena scoffed as she looped her arms over Kara's broad shoulders. "You better." She murmured, sealing their lips once more.
"Well it's about damn time!"
Both women startled but didn't break apart at the interruption. They instead turned as one to find Alex standing in the doorway, arms crossed, smirk firmly in place.
"Does this mean we're forgiven?"
"Conditionally..." Lena hedged, unable to stop clinging to Kara, afraid the past few minutes had been some fevered dream.
"What are the conditions?" Alex asked, sidling closer, smirk still in place.
"So far we've agreed upon plenty of kisses! " Kara piped up beaming, seeming more like herself with each passing moment.
"I can work with that." Alex replied, wrapping her arms around the pair and planting a sloppy kiss on Lena's cheek! "There! Paid in full."
Lena pulled a face at the elder Danvers but couldn't bring herself to be angry. These women truly cared for her. Kara loved her. Despite their deceit, Lena was content in the knowledge that these women would go to the ends of the earth to protect her, had thought that's what they'd been doing. The lies still stung but the pain inflicted by them was quickly being dulled by the heartfelt confessions both Danvers women had made to her. There would be more conversations, more apologies owed her by the rest of the 'Super-friends' but for now, Lena was content to allow herself to love and be loved, if only for the moment.