(A/N: YAY! They fixed the glitch and I'm back in business! Now here's the next chappie, peeps! Can I hear a YEEEE-YAH?)

"And THAT'S why Aka-chan hates you!" Hinode and Sora finished (if ya want th' complete story, see the first saga, ch. 5)

"Wait, wait, wait." Kaoru said, disbelievingly, "Hold th' phone!"

"We're fictional in your world?" Kyoya asked shrewdly, adjusting his glasses.

"Do you really expect us t' believe that?" Hikaru snorted.

"Basically. Yeah." Sora and Hinode shrugged.

"And why is that?" Tamaki said snootily.

Sora and Hinode looked at each other and nodded.

"Cuz of this." Sora grinned, whipping out a DVD case.

The Ouran Host Club member's eyes widened at the sight of the title: Ouran High School Host Club.

"You guys have gotten to be really popular lately." Hinode smiled, watching Mori's face as he inspected his mug shot on the DVD cover.

"Especially among the male harem otaku!" Sora smirked, enjoying the self-satisfied look on Kyoya's face as he inspected his own screenshot.

"WOWWIE! NEATO!" Hunny squealed, "THAT'S SOOO COOL!"

"You bet it's neato!" Hinode grinned, giving him a big hug (they could do this allllllyear and never get bored.)

"Yeah!" Sora smiled, "You guys are bigger than Hana Kimi!"

"I have to say, they have a convincing argument." Haruhi smiled, taking in the screenshot of her father (pre-drag queenification)

"So you're sayin' you believe us?" they asked timidly.

Mori patted them on the heads by way of an answer.

"YIPPEEEE!" They squealed, glomping him tight, causing the silent giant to blush faintly.

"Thank GAWD!" Sora cried joyfully, "This is great!"

"It didn't take nearly as long as the G-Boys!" Hinode whooped.

"G…Boys?" Tamaki asked, looking truly puzzled.

"We'll explain later." The Otaku Twins said together.

-ffff…-

Akane exhaled a lungful of acrid gray smoke, staring off the balcony from her seat on the balustrade, a vexed expression etched across every line of her face.

"'ts been a long time since I've seen you light up."

Akane didn't even bother to look over her shoulder.

"Shuddup Taka." She snarled as the flame head came up beside her.

"Chill out, Monkey." Takaomi snickered, joining her on the railing, "'snot so bad."

"Sez you, Bird Brain." Akane growled ("Taka" means "Hawk", hence the nickname)

"Watch it, Baboon Butt." Takaomi grunted, slapping her thigh ("Aka" means "Red"; her nickname's Monkey…you figure it out.)

"Rrrr…" Akane snarled, glaring at him as he ruffled her hair.

"Relax." Takaomi smiled, "Don't give yerself 'n ulcer."

"…don't tell me what ta do." Akane sulked.

"Sooo, ya wanna hole t' burn thru yer stomach?" Takaomi grinned, thoroughly enjoying his little sister's "blonde moment".

A deep red blush spread across her pale face.

"…I'm only sayin' it once bro." She grumbled, face flushed with embarrassment, "Shuddup."

Takaomi threw his head back and laughed.

Akane leapt on top of the paling, and wrapped her arms up around his arms and pushed down viciously on the nape of his neck as she leapt back onto the balcony, catching him in a strangle hold.

"Who's…laughin'…NOW…JACKASS?" Akane snarled out between grunts, forcing his head forward and pulling up on his arm.

Takaomi continued (his now smothered) laughing as he kicked her legs out from under her.

"ACK!" She squeaked as she fell flat on her back, Takaomi falling next to her, alternating between snickering and gasping for air.

"Ahh…Suu-kun's…fav…I see…." He wheezed, still chuckling, "…thought…you we're…mad at'm."

"Just cuz'm royally T'd off at'm doesn't mean I won't use his moves." Akane snorted from place on the concrete.

"Dually…noted…" Takaomi smirked.

"You're planning to WHUH?" Hinode gaped, dropping the glass of grapefruit juice she was holding (thank god for plastic)

Sora began choking on a mouthful of cupcake and was assisted by Haruhi and Mori.

"Yuh-you mind repeatin' that?" she gasped out in disbelief, eyes round with shock.

"It's quite simple really." Kyoya said, adjusting his glasses.

"Yeah!" the Hitachiin Twins grinned, "We're gonna win your friend over! No sweat!"

"I highly doubt that." Haruhi thought blandly (you...are on the right page there, girly -.-;;)

"That's right!" Tamaki boasted, "I refused to be despised for something as petty as the circumstances surrounding my birth."

"Hunny wants to be her friend too!" he cheered, "I don't like it that she hates me. It makes me sad."

He pouted childishly, hugging Bun-Bun to his chest.

"I wanna be friends with her!" he said stubbornly.

"AWWW!" The Otaku Duet cooed, "You're sooo sweet!"

"Too bad that'll almost definitely never happen." Hinode sobbed internally.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaahh! This SUCKS!" Sora cried internally, withholding tears.

"Alright!" Tamaki declared, punching the air, "Operation Defrost is officially underway!"

"Defrost?" Haruhi asked, blinking,"Why such an unusual name?"

"Well obviously that girl had to have a heart frozen in ICE to resist ALL of us!" Hikaru replied smartly.

"Hence the moniker!" Kaoru grinned, "Operation Defrost! We're gonna thaw her icy heart! get it?"

"Uh…guys?" Sora piped up.

"How do you know she has an icy heart?" Haruhi asked, "That's a pretty big assumption."

"Guys?" Hinode asked, a bit more urgently.

"How do YOU know she doesn't?" Hikaru shot back.

"Guys?" Sora asked again, a panicked edge in her voice.

"After the harsh way she treated everyone?" Tamaki snorted, "Especially myself and Hunny?"

"GUYS?"

"What is it ladies?" Kyoya replied, turning to face them…and going pale, "Ohhhh dear."

Haruhi also saw the problem.

As did Mori, Hunny and the Hitachiin Twins.

But Tamaki, in the middle of a rant, didn't bother to turn around.

"…so when you take into account all those factors, there's nothing left but the obvious! She's cold hearted! Colder than the polar ice caps! It's as simple as that, Haruhi my dear!" Tamaki finished, turning around to face Haruhi…

…but finding himself face to face with an extremely T.O.'ed Akane instead.

Sora and Hinode had dragged everyone else off to a safe distance.

Akane had been sent spiraling into a dimension of pissed off she hadn't seen since the G-Boys came to visit three months ago.

"WHOOOO'S cold hearted?" she snarled, cracking her knuckles.

"YIIIII…" Tamaki squeaked, cringing in fear.

"You know what?" Akane smirked sadistically, "I'm gonna show ya th' extent of my mercy…by givin' ya a five second head start!"

Tamaki didn't react at first.

"One…" Akane drawled, sliding a switchblade out of her pocket.

Tamaki took one look at it and was running like a deer.

"Two…" Akane sang, sending the blade shooting up with the touch of a button.

Tamaki was almost at the door.

"…THREEFOURFIVE!" Akane roared, hurling the edge weapon at him.

It caught his shirt sleeve at the cuff, coming dangerously close to the main artery in his wrist.

"HEEEK!" He squealed, flailing around like a fish.

"Hehehe…" Akane cackled, cracking her knuckles and stalking towards the pinned millionaire, "…when I'm finished with you, death will seem like-!"

-ch-klnk-

-BM-

"Monkey…whadd're you doin'?" a smiling voice asked, interrupting Akane's spiel.

It was Mannen, back from a long day at college with Kazuo in tow.

Akane looked from Mannen, to Kazuo.

"…nothin'." She said innocently, tugging the blade swiftly out of the wall, "And don't call me Monkey."

"Nothin' huh?" Kazuo snorted, taking in the members of the Host Club as well as its trembling founder, "Pretty big nothin'."

"Shuddup." Akane growled, sliding the weapon back into her pocket.

"I take it Suu managed to…?" Mannen trailed off, looking around and gesturing with his arm in a wide sweeping motion.

"Yuh." She grunted, walking over to join them.

"So I take it your day was-!" Kazuo began, draping an arm over his sibling.

"-a livin' nightmare." Akane finished, sighing deeply, walking up the stairs with them.

"While doncha tell us alllllll about it, mm?" Mannen smiled.

"…m;kay." Akane sighed, defeated.

"A swuh…a swuh-huh…a switchblade?" Tamaki managed, "Whuh-whuh…why is she…?"

"Oh, I guess we forgot to mention she's a gang leader." Hinode shrugged.

"I'm surprised she didn't pull out her M-15." Sora said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, she did just get back from the shop." Hinode nodded.

"Didn't she say she couldn't wait to give it a test run?" Sora asked.

"I think so." Hinode nodded.

"Oh. Okay." Sora said.

The Ouran Host Club gaped at their calm behavior.

The otaku turned and looked at them.

"Anyhoo, we hafta be getting' home." The Otaku Twins said insipidly as they walked to the door, "We'll seeya later! Good luck, guys! You're gonna need it."

(A/N: Next chappie: The arrival of Suo's wife and a lil' game of "football". R&R!)