(A/N: Woot! You like me! You really, REALLY like me! Yaysies! And now, on with the chappie!)
"Halright! Dinnah is suhvd!" Akane declared as the Host Club and the Questionable Quartet, plus Utako and Aki, gathered around the dining room table, "Akane's Super Spicy Cajun Piroschki's, Jambalaya, Red Beans and Rice, Cajun Fried Turkey, and of course-!"
Akane hefted a huge vessel onto the table with a loud -THM-, causing the plates, glasses and silverware to shudder.
"ALRIGHT!" Suo hooted.
"Crawdads." Akane smirked.
The livewire gang leader served everyone up, the Ouran High School Host Club included, then took her seat next to Takaomi.
"ITADAKIMASU!" They cheered, taking bites that were bigger than their mouths would allow.
"HNPH!" Tamaki choked out through a mouthful of food, eyes wide in panic.
"HLGRF!" Kyoya gagged, face reddening, tears streaking down his cheeks.
"NNNN!" Hunny squealed, waving his hands frantically.
"MMPH!" Hikaru shouted, unable to spit the food out fast enough.
"HOT! HOT! HOT!" Kaoru shrieked, frantically chugging down his water, only to spit it back out.
"IT BURNS! IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNS!" Haruhi screamed, clawing at her mouth.
"…" Mori said nothing and continued eating his food as though nothing was wrong.
"Remind me t' add milk t' th' grocery list." Akane smirked, eating her own food calmly, "We're fresh out."
"Whaddid you do, Monkey?" Mannen snickered, watching the scene unfold before his eyes.
"Well by the smell of it…" Suo said, sniffing the air, "…she 'accidentally' spilled an entire bottle of jabanero sauce on each of their plates."
"Sharp as always Suu-kun." Akane smirked, breaking a particularly large crawdad in half.
"That wasn't nice!" Utako cried, shooting out of her chair (she hasn't touched her food, otherwise she would have known about the two bottles Akane "accidently" spilled on her plate).
"Did I ask fer yer opinion, Whore?" Akane drawled, slurping up the innards of the crawdad.
Mori finished the contents of his plate and extended it to Akane.
"Well lookie there, sis!" Kazuo grinned, "He likes it!"
Scowling at her brother and glaring at Mori, she stalked around the table, refilling his plate.
Shoving it across the table at the ever silent teen, she sat down sulkily,
Mori took one bite and spit it out.
Akane's face broke into a wicked grin.
"Spicy didn't work." She chuckled, dumping half a bottle of jabanero sauce on her Piroschki, "So I loaded it down with salt."
"Niiiice." Takaomi smirked, giving his half-sister a squeeze, "That's mah girl."
"I learned from the master." she sneered, poking him with the crawdad's claw.
A half an hour of agony later, the elusive milk was unearthed (she hid it in the last place they'd look: in the fridge) the Ouran High School Host Club was restored to their former health (if somewhat singed)
"Okay." Tamaki said a little uncertainly, "Is everyone ready to move forward with Operation Defrost?"
"I guess." Kaoru and Hikaru sighed.
"How shall we proceed with this then?" Kyoya asked officiously, "She's obviously not like our standard customer."
"She's not even a customer." Hikaru and Kaoru snorted.
"I'm with you there." Tamaki nodded, cupping his chin, "This IS a problem."
"Well, I for one, really don't think it will work." Haruhi sighed, "Consider me a spectator."
"Need I remind you of your debt, Miss Fujioka?" Kyoya asked shrewdly.
"No." Haruhi sighed, "But I already know this plan is gonna fail."
"Be positive, Haru!" Hunny smiled, "We can do it!"
Mori nodded in agreement with his cousin.
"Wish I was as sure as them." Tamaki, the Hitachiin Twins, and Kyoya thought together.
"But how are we even gonna go about doing this?" Kaoru drawled, "We don't even know her likes or dislikes."
"Yeah." Hikaru smirked, "All we know about her so far is that she's a prankster, a gangster, and a violent biatch."
"Did you even think this through Tamaki?" Kyoya asked coolly.
Tamaki started to sweat nervously.
"We'll figure something out." Haruhi sighed tiredly.
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Hunny cheered.
Mori nodded.
Both had managed to miss her total lack of enthusiasm.
Akane was in her bedroom, getting dressed for clubbing/mosh pitting (she was never one to be choosey) and chatting on speaker phone with Hinode and Sora.
-"I can NOT believe you DID THAT!"- Sora's voice shrieked out of the speaker.
-"I can."- Hinode sighed.
"Hey, they're still alive." Akane snorted, slipping a top over her head, "A little pain…mph…never killed anyone."
-"So far."- Sora muttered.
"Yeah, there's still time." Akane snickered slipping on her footwear for the evening.
"Akane, don't hurt'm too much, kay?" Hinode asked, a pleading edge in her voice.
"Hey, I'll be out for th' evenin'." Akane said sardonically, "They'll live."
-"You promise?"- Sora pressed.
"I promise! I promise! Yeesh!" Akane cried, as a car pulled up out front and started honking loudly.
"Shit! That'd be Boomer and Ice Pick." She said quickly, "I'll seeya t'morrow."
-"Kay."- Sora said, -"Have fun."-
-"Bye girl!"- Hinode called as Akane hung up.
The Host Club was still deliberating when Akane strode down the stairs in a skin tight, black worded crop top that read: "HELL WAS FULL. SO I CAME BACK." across the back in red outlined letters surrounded by hellish green flames.
A very short, dark denim mini skirt graced her hips, and her newly modified M-15 was strapped to her thigh (what else she was packin' and where, we'll leave to your imagination.)
A pair of black combat boots were on her feet and a pair of black armbands with red lacings were on her arms.
The pigtails remained as is.
At the sight of the outfit, Tamaki couldn't help but daydream momentarily about how wonderful his dear Haruhi would look in that outfit (umm…since when was she yours?) before catching sight of the firearm strapped to her thigh and quaking in fear.
"SUO!" Akane yelled out, "'M GOIN' OUT!"
"When will you be back?" He called from the next room.
"Later!" She called, lowering her voice somewhat.
"Will you call and check in?" Suo called.
"Maybe!" Akane shrugged as she opened the door.
"Tch! Typical." Utako snorted, appearing from the library, "All whored out as usual."
Akane looked up at the model and sneered.
"This comin' from you?" she snickered, "Oo, you've cut me t' th' quick!"
Utako's face reddened, but she maintained her composure.
"You'd certainly never catch ME in rags like those." Utako snorted haughtily, "If I paraded around like THAT, my modeling career would never have skyrocketed like it did!"
"Like I care ya skinny bitch." Akane drawled, "Yer holdin' me up. Either get t' th' point, or get outta th' way."
"I have a proposition for you." Utako smiled nastily, "Two days from now, I have a photo shoot for the cover of FRUiTS magazine. However, there's no guarantees that I'll be the covergirl as I'm in competition with two other models."
"Get t' th' point, Whore." Akane snapped, "Ice Pick aint a patient person. Neither am I fer that matter."
"I bet you can't land th' cover." Utako sneered, "I can work it so you can be in the shoot, but with your attitude? Pfft! I know you'll blow it."
"Oh…really?" Akane snarled, glaring ferociously, "I'll blow it, huh Whore? Fine! YER ON!"
The car out side blared it's horn impatiently as Akane stormed out the door.
The Host Club just stared, temporarily at a loss for words.
"Um…okay." Haruhi said slowly, getting to her feet, "You know what? I think I'm gonna go tto bed."
"Me too." Hikaru nodded.
"Same here." Kaoru chimed.
"Can I bring Bun-Bun with me?" Hunny asked.
Mori hefted Hunny onto his back after giving a slight nod.
"Well, it is a bit early, but today has been trying." Kyoya agreed, "I'll allow it." (HEY! WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?)
Tamaki stared after them as they wandered up the stairs.
"WHAT ABOUT THE PLAN?" He yelled, dashing after them, "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! WHAT IF SHE COMES BACK? WHAT IF SHE USES THAT GUN ON ME KYO-!"
-THWUNG-
A vase collided with the Host club president's head.
"Shut yer hole." Kazuo growled at the top of the stairs, "You'll wake Aki up."
-The Next Morning...-
Tamaki arose bright and early at 6:32 a.m. and set to work waking the other members (who aren't morning people)
When he finished his task, he had managed to escape with a rather set of large bumps on his noggin (courtesy of the twins)
"Awwwwwn...I slept great...until a certain someone woke me up." Kyoya said shrewdly, rubbing his eyes as they walked down the stairs.
"Whose smart idea was it t' set up a 6:30 wake up call again?" Hikaru and Kaoru yawned.
Kyoya snapped his mouth shut.
"'m shtill shleepy." Hunny whined into Mori's shoulder, Bun-Bun hanging flaccidlyfrom hisright hand.
Mori said nothing.
He'd been up since five practicing kendo and was wide awake.
"Nnn...so tired." Haruhi muttered woozily, eyelids drooping, "Why're we up again?"
"To move forward with Operation Defrost of course!" Tamaki scolded.
"This early in the morning?" Kaoru groaned exasperatedly.
"Without any information?" Haruhi mumbled crossly.
"You don't have a clue, do you?" Hikaru grumbled irritably.
Tamaki slunk into a corner and sulked asd the rest of the Host Club, knowing that going back to sleep would be impossible, tromped down the stairs.
"Well lookie here." Kaoru chuckled at the sight that met them as they entered the living room.
"Dya think someone had a good time?" Hikaru snickered, observing the scene as well with great amusement.
It was Akane, sprawled out on the couch, out like a light.
She hadn't taken her boots off and it looked at though she had crashed and burned in the middle of taking down her left pigtail.
"Whaddya think?" Hikaru smirked, "Should we wake her up 'our way'?"
"An excellent idea brother!" Kaoru grinned, "I couldn't have thought of a better one."
"Not th' best idea t' threaten someone with a gattlin' gun under their pillow." Akane muttered, eyes opening in narrow slits.
"Aw." they pouted, setting the fish bowl back on the table.
Akane wiped a river of saliva off her face and finished the task she fail to complete before and tugged her hair out of their pigtails.
When she glanced at the clock she nearly did a double take.
"FUCK it's early!" she cried, "What th' hell are you doin' wakin' me up before noon durin' summer vaca, ASSHOLES?"
"Summer?" Kyoya murmured.
"Vacation?" Tamaki gaped.
Glaring at them, she jabbed a finger behind them.
Mori turned around slowly and retrived a hanging calender off the wall.
"...July 2.." Mori muttered.
"WHAT?"
(A/N: The Ouran High School Host Club learns about the joys of time skips and different dimensions. And it's a battle between The Gangsta and The Cheater on the cheaters home turf: The Catwalk! Who will win? R&R!)