"Nobody's online and I can't be fucked to write anything." The man groans. "Time to just watch some shit on YouTube or something."
The man stood up from his chair and walked over to his bed, flopping down onto it.
"I can't even take the piss out of anyone." The man sighs as he picks up his phone and stands back up from the bed.
The man then heads over to his PC and unplugs his headphones, putting them on before plugging them into his phone. The man then goes through his music, stopping on the band "Crywank".
"Time for a bit of Kirk Van Houten." The man chuckles.
The man then slides his phone into his tracksuit pocket before leaving his room, closing the door behind him. The man looked towards the shower room, his heart started to race and his mind turned blank. The man looked away with a shake of his head, choosing to skip having a shower.
"God, I'm pathetic." The man laughs.
The man then walks down the stairs, his mind and heart going back to normal. The man then looks at his phone.
Friday, 13:00.
The man then opens the door to the front room, preparing to be jumped on by one of his pet dogs. The dog doesn't show. He then looks over towards the couch and see's that his other pet dog isn't here either.
"They must be in the kitchen." The man says as he walks around a large wooden table that sat in the middle of the room.
The man looks around the house, each step making him feel more and more depressed. As he reaches the kitchen he looks inside. No dogs, nothing that would give the idea that anything but him lived here.
"They're both probably there, I... Probably just can't see 'em." The man sighs to himself.
The man then walks up to the fridge, opening it with a gentle pull. He then reaches inside and pulls out a bottle of lemonade, quickly unscrewing the cap and taking a few gulps before rescrewing the cap and putting it back into the fridge. The man then walks back into the front room, his feet taking him to the front window, he stands in front of it, listening to the song that was playing.
The song loops as the man stares out into the streets, his mind blank and his vision blurred. In the reflection of the glass he saw the room bloodied and damaged, with holes and gashes in the walls. The man looks down at the window sill and sighs.
"It's friday... I guess... I guess I'd better get ready for my meeting." The man mumbles as he runs a hand through his long hair.
The man then pulls his phone out of his pocket, quickly switching songs to something more upbeat and energizing. The man then quickly shakes his head and starts to get pumped up.
"Alright, let's do this shit." The man says with a smile on his face.
The man then heads back to his bedroom and grabs a T-Shirt from the floor and a pair of shoes from under his bed. He quickly finishes getting dressed before grabbing a can of deodorant and spraying himself with it.
"Man I'm looking hideous, but boy do I rock hideous well. Ain't no one out there who looks so good looking bad." The man laughs to himself as he ties his shoelaces.
The man starts to bob his head along to the beat of the song.
"Yeah, I'm ready." The man says with a smile.
The man then gets ready to stand up only to be blinded by a bright purple light.
"Fuck! Officers I didn't do anything I swear!" The man shouts as he covers his face.
"Where are we?" A voice asks.
"No idea." Another voice answers.
"Urm, what are we?" The first voice asks.
"You're in my damn room and I don't know what you are SINCE I CAN'T FUCKING SEE!" The man shouts. "FUCK!"
"Woah... What is it?! It looks cool!" One voice asks.
"The fuck you mean 'what is it'?" The man asks as he rubs at his eyes. "Shit, I ain't that ugly."
"It can talk?" The second voice asks.
"Right, I'm ugly, I get it, but fuck you for being this brutal. Shit, I'm being roasted in my own room." The groans as he blinks away his blindness.
As he blinks away his blindness, six blobs, all a multitude of colors come into existence.
"Fucking fag flag in here taking shots at my ass." The man grumbles.
"A what flag?" One of the blobs asks.
The man gives his eyes one more rub before looking back towards where the blurs are.
"Woah... Shit, the hell was slid into my drink?" The man mumbles as he can now clearly see the blurs.
In front of the man's desk stood six deers, all different colours of the rainbow.
"Whatever was slipped into my drink, I want more of." The man chuckles.
"What is it talking about?" A blue deer with short spiked rainbow hair asks.
"Right, the name's Josh, just call me that instead of 'it'." The man grumbles.
"Okay, Josh, where are we?" A purple deer with short purple hair with pink and light purple streaks.
"You are in [NAME REDACTED], it's near [FUCKING NAME REDACTED]. How did you get in exactly?" Josh asks in return.
"I messed up a spell." The purple deer nervously giggles.
"A spell? I'm gonna stop myself right there, no point in questioning it because I'm talking to a bunch of deer." Josh laughs.
"Deer? Ah shoot. Why did Ah have to get dragged into this." An orange deer with long blonde hair and a stetson hat lazily sat on her head grumbles.
"Here I was thinking I might have a calm day today, fuck my ass for thinking something autistic like that." Josh laughs.
"So, what are you?" The purple deer asks.
"I'm a fucking human. Fuck, when did this turn into 'roast fatass day'?" Josh asks with a chuckle. "Why does the pink one look like she's about to detonate?"
"HI! My name's Pinkie! This place is really weird, I mean, there isn't a single pony and there's you and, and, and it smells in here and I don't know what's going on but I'm excited to look around and eat!" A pink deer with long puffy pink hair shouts excitedly.
"Hol' up. You're telling me that your name is Pinkie?" Josh asks.
The pink deer quickly nods its head.
"Nah, nah nigga don't do me like this. Don't tell me your name's AppleJack." Josh chuckles as he points towards the orange deer.
"Eeyup, how did ya know?" The orange deer asks in return.
"NAH NIGGA! DON'T DO ME LIKE THIS!" Josh laughs hysterically.
"You seem... Excited?" The purple deer nervously laughs.