A/N-I'm back, bitches!

A pile of covers quietly shifted in the corner of a bed that took up almost a whole wall in the small hut. Baz rose from the tangle of wool and synthetic fleece with her arms stretched towards the ceiling. She made a sound that vaguely resembled one of the chickens that strutted about outside.

She gripped a makeshift pull bar that she'd installed less than a week ago and felt her muscles protest as she slowly got out of bed. Situating her feet on the floor properly, she blindly reached for her crutches and sent them toppling to the floor. Loudly. She pushed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. Of course she would be having issues today.

Knees aching, Baz gingerly lowered herself to the floor. She brushed her hands along the packed dirt until she hit cold metal. She stood the crutches back up against the edge of the bed. It took the assistance of the pull bar and a scream of pain from her shoulders, but Baz got upright and standing on one foot. She was careful with the other foot, not letting the bulky cast touch the ground until she had the extra support of the crutches.

Silently thanking whatever higher power was listening that she was well enough to even make the journey, Baz worked her way outside to the well. She pumped out enough water to make tea and then hobbled over to a large rock placed next to a firepit. Sitting down was painful, but she managed okay. The pot of water thumped down into the middle of the small circle of rocks and Baz began to tuck tinder, kindling, and some larger sticks around it. She set the tinder aflame with a lighter covered in Hebrew lettering and nursed the fire to health.

Wade was coming today. On one of Tony's planes.

She'd have to return to civilization soon.

She was absolutely fucked.

Wade was having a great time on the private jet. Tony had provided "flight attendants" of both genders to help him pass the time, and all of them were extremely talented. And also remarkably unfazed when Wade pulled out his unicorn Pillow Pet to show it off.

"Wade?"

"Yeah, Chastity?"

"It's almost time for the flight to land. We have to go now."

Wade grinned. "Sure you can't stay just a little longer?"

"Yep." The perky blonde lifted her head off of Wade's lap and pushed her lithe body into a standing position, substantial curves on full display.

"Well, don't let me keep you. I can entertain myself just fine." A wink set the female stripper giggling. She pulled the two male strippers apart (apparently, the two were dating and couldn't get enough of each other).

Wade admired all three asses as they headed to the back end of the plane to get into street clothes before Baz arrived.

Cracking his knuckles as he got off the couch, Wade downed the rest of his ridiculously expensive martini. He stuck his head through the door to the cockpit that was ironically filled with two women. Wade found it wholly amusing that the cockpit had no dicks in it.

"So, ladies. I shouldn't be gone too long. Keep the engine warm."

The pilot simply nodded, clearly having been warned by Tony not to put up with any of Wade's shit. The copilot's knuckles whitened a little bit as she wrapped her arms around herself. She was fighting to control her shivering.

Wade ducked back out of the cockpit, brows furrowed. He searched the plane until he found his carry-on. Pulling out a plastic bag labeled "Blankie", he hurried to the front again.

"Here." He held out the fleece blanket printed with pictures of cats eating pizza to the shivering copilot. "Tony should allow sweaters to be part of your uniform or something."

She smiled up at him from her seat and took the blanket. "He does. I forgot mine back in the airport. You put something down for one second..."

Wade nodded. "Glad I could help."

His ass hit the seat just before the seatbelt light turned on.

The plane landed in Tel Aviv at 11:38 a.m. The search was on the moment Wade stepped off it.

He knew that Baz had been doing some demo work, so he checked with the Israeli army. They hadn't heard from her in two weeks, and she hadn't been into the room they'd provided in a month.

Wade had JARVIS check the reports Baz had filed, and narrowed her location down to a small village about five miles away from the city center.

"Ma'am? I'm sorry to bother you and I don't speak Hebrew. I'm looking for someone called Baz Stark."

The woman stared up at Wade's face, not understanding a word. Then, a glimmer of recognition seemed to appear in her eyes.

"Baz?" She said, withered lips struggling around the foreign name.

"Yes! Baz."

The woman pointed a scraggly finger at a hut at the opposite end of her little goat-yard-slash-chicken-coop. Wade nodded his thanks, grinning widely.

A knock sounded on Baz's door. She yelled, "I'll just be a minute," and winced at her vocal cords. They felt like they were clogged with the brown dust that pervaded everything.

"C'mon, Bazzie. Open up for your favorite Canadian anti-hero."

"I said I'm coming, asshole."

Baz struggled with her crutches, trying to force them to cooperate with her effort to get to the door.

"What's taking you so long? Are you okay?"

Baz gritted her teeth at the rising current of concern in Wade's voice.

"I'm fine."

She yanked the small door open.

"Fuck, Baz. What did you do?"

Wade was scared. He'd never seen Baz this physically screwed up.

"What, you mean my eyes? I'll have you know these bags are designer."

"Your leg..."

"Oh that. Yeah. Can we say 'nothing happened' and call it a day?"

Wade considered the offer for a moment. Baz was clearly not okay and he didn't want to push it. So he pasted a smile-that-was-not-a-smile to his face, and put out his arms for a hug.

Baz was very glad that Wade hadn't interrogated her. She was too tired. She gratefully accepted the hug, but accidentally dropped on of her crutches.

"Fuck."

"What?" Wade asked, not loosening his hold on his friend.

"Dropped my-"

"Oh yeah, I got it."

Wade swept one arm under Baz's knees and she relaxed into his chest. Then he knelt down and picked up the fallen crutch.

"Seriously, Wade. I'm fine. I can walk to the plane."

"No you can't. It's in Tel Aviv, remember? And we're five miles out."

"I walked all the way here."

"And you're not walking all the way back. Don't make me break your other leg."

Baz groaned. "God, fine."

A/N-So I know I promised you memes. But the story went in a bit of a different direction than I had intended. Don't be mad, I'm sure the memes will show up at some point.

Always wear (eye) protection.

Love,
Baz