(A/N: Hey all! Let's not beat around the bush! On with the chapter!)
"Okay…I've heard your statements." Roy said tiredly, "Now let me get this straight. You're all from an alternate dimension."
"Yup." Kazuo grinned.
"And all of you, except for those two, are related?" Roy asked skeptically, eyeing Hinode and Sora, who had resumed glomping the Elric brothers who had failed to run when they had the chance.
"Daisuki, Aaru!" Hinode sighed happily into the twelve year old made suit of armor's shoulder.
"Um, y-yeah, I'm not sure exactly what you said, but would mind to much letting me go?" Al asked politely, squirming as he tried to break free and not hurt the teen at the same time.
"Koi shiteru, Eddu!" Sora purred, nuzzling Ed's cheek with her own in a very Shampooish manner.
"Um, yeah, that's nice an' al, but couldja let me go? Please?" Ed asked brusquely as did his best to break free of his fangirl to no avail.
"You got it." Mannen smirked.
"And your sister there…is a gang leader in your dimension?" he pressed, watching as the underaged Akane lit up a cigarette.
"Gotta problem with that, freak?" She snarled, eyes flashing ferociously.
"Hit the nail on the head." Takaomi snickered, pulling his sister close and ruffling her hair in a pacifying fashion.
"So explain to me why I don't believe you?" Roy said, a smirk on his lips.
"Oh, Don't you worry Mr. Mustang!" Suo smiled, handing off his now snoozing son to Mannen (he would have handed Aki over to Akane if she hadn't been smoking), "We can prove we're telling the truth!"
He strode over to Akane.
"Give me the ruh-" he began to say, extending one hand.
"No." Akane snapped, taking a step away from him.
"Monkey, Just for a-!" Suo sighed tiredly.
"NO!" Akane snarled, hand diving instinctively into the pocket where the remote was housed, "This damn thing is responsible for everythin' that's currently wrong with my life! No way in hell 'm I givin' it back t' you!"
"C'mon sis!" Kazuo begged, "Please?"
"If we don't, they'll never believe us!" Takaomi said with a smirk as a thought filled his head.
"We'd be stuck here forehhhh-ver." he said in a singsong voice.
Akane visibly paled.
"Besides, we won't make you play tour guide like last time. Promise!" Mannen said with a wink.
"Damn straight you wont. "Akane growled, pulling out a zipdisk that hung around her neck on a thick chain, "If you do, THIS gets spread around th' internet faster than Th' Numa Numa Dance, along with everything I know about you guys starting from the time you were conceived!" (see ch. : series 2)
"Deal." Suo said, sweating a bit as Akane, glaring viciously, tossed him the remote.
"Alright everybody." Kazuo said cheerfully as Hawkeye and Armstrong re-entered the room, "Sit back, hold on, don't yell!"
Suo pressed the button and Akane closed her eyes in dread.
-BLP-
"Oomph!" Akane grunted as she bounced off the sofa and onto the floor.
She rolled to her feet experimental pressing a sore spot in her ribcage with her fingertip.
"Tell me everyone, could I've have been anymore graceful?" she asked sarcastically.
No answer.
"Huh?" Akane blinked, looking around, "Hey, what's with th' silent treatment?"
That's when she realized…she had returned home alright, this was definitely her living room…but she had been sent back by herself.
She recalled that little talk her brother had given that last group of freaks about the schematics andd sporadic landings.
This meant her brothers, her nephew, her best friends and those freakazoids could be anywhere on the face of the planet right now.
"Suo, remind me t' knock yer skinny ho ass back t' last year th' next time I see ya." Akane muttered, walking to the front door.
"What th'?" Ed murmured, feeling the searing heat bearing down on his face, "AL? You ok?"
He waited for a response that never came.
"Al?" he asked again, a bit more tentatively this time as he took in his surroundings.
A desert.
He was in the desert…alone.
No Al, Mustang or weirdoes in sight.
"Man, hope Al's in a better situation that I am." Ed thought to himself, removing his jacket and draping it over his head.
"Brother?" Al called out from his spot in a tree.
He was unsure of where he was at the present, but knew it was a forest and that he was currently being stared down by a stag, protecting his mate who grazed nearby with her fawn.
Al drew in a breath and climbed carefully down the tree, backing away slowly.
"E-easy, big guy!" Al said quietly, "I'm not gonna hurt you."
The stag regarded him coldly, before going to join the doe in grazing.
"Phew." Al sighed, bringing a metallic hand to his chest, "…I wonder where everyone is?"
"Mm?" Armstrong blinked staring at the unfamiliar ocean side, "What is all this?"
"Ooo! Whadda HUNK!"
"Lookat those MUSCLES!"
"Flex for us, baby!"
Armstrong turn to see a group of scantily clad, twenty something girls squealing at him.
Never one to turn down an opportunity to show off the muscles he had worked so hard on, he began strutting his stuff, bringing more squeals from the girls.
"Where th' hell am I?" Roy muttered, clamoring to his feet.
A pair of hands abruptly clasped around his wrists and Roy Mustang suddenly found himself swinging through the air.
"Whuh-whuh-WHOA!" he cried, gaping in terror at the face of the twenty something year old that was now his only life line.
"Was ist los?" she asked smilingly, "Der Sie kein a der Teil von die Aufführung?" (the German translations are choppy folks!)
"EEEYAAAAAUGH!" Roy screamed as she let go, sending him flipping through the air.
"MMMRR." A cow groaned, ambling past Hawkeye.
Hawkeye stared at the cow.
The cow stared at Hawkeye.
Hawkeye patted the patted the bovine's muzzle and moved on.
"Better find the others." She murmured, not noticing the fact that she had a ton stalker.
Hughes stared about him, trying to get a grasp of things.
"Hey, mister!"
Hughes looked in the direction from which the voice had originated.
It belonged to a tanned, skinned kneed, smudged face little boy.
"How long're ya gonna hog th' swings, mate?" he asked testily, tapping his foot.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" Hughes said sheepishly, vacating the playset.
"Well guys…any guesses as to where we landed?" Suo asked sheepishly, arms still wrapped around his sleeping son.
"Um, lemme think…no?" Kazuo said snickering.
"Well, let's see." Takaomi drawled smirkingly, "We're surrounded by penguins-"
"-walls on all sides!" Mannen added.
"-and spectators above." Suo sighed.
"ZOO." They said together.
"The only question is…where?" Kazuo said with a laugh.
"We'll sort out those details later." Mannen smirked.
"Let's get outta here." Suo grinned.
"Hino?" Sora asked warily.
"Yeah Sora?" Hinode replied, just as nervously.
"WHERE TH' HELL ARE WE?" They sobbed, their cries echoing out over the ocean, completely unheard.
Of course.
The two would be the ones to land on a remote desert island.
(A/N: It's now a world wide search to track down the FMA chara's, her missing family member's and friends! Whaddle be the first stop? R&R!)
TRANSLATIONS:
"Was ist los?" - "What's th' matter?"
"Der Sie kein a der Teil von die Aufführung?" - "Aren't you a part of the show?"